back to article Man charged in bizarre EXPLODING VIBRATOR plot

A Minnesota man has been cuffed on charges of "creating an explosive device and making terroristic threats" after allegedly rigging the worst Xmas present ever for an ex-girlfriend – an exploding vibrator. Terry Allen Lester. Pic: Waseca County According to the Criminal Complaint (PDF), Terry Allen Lester, 37, (pictured) was …

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  1. Charles Calthrop
    Thumb Up

    dildon't believe hair like that still exists

    blah blah blah it angle. Who cares when you can pull a gem of a story out of the bag like this. awesome hair awesome story

    1. Aaron Em

      It's called a 'mullet'...

      ...and it is alive and well in many areas of the United States, including my own hometown.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Aaron

        Ever known anyone named Lester before? When I saw that guys pic and then his name... there's really no surprise about the rest of the story.

        No offense to anyone, but that surname has a rep.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Happy

          @Ever known anyone named Lester before?

          like, I don't know him, dude, but, y' know, the journalist who wrote the piece is totally named Lester. Does your characterisation of Lesters apply to him too?

        2. wayne 8
          Grenade

          His nickname is Moe

          as in Minnesota Moe Lester

      2. Graham Bartlett

        @Aaron

        The Black Mullet, indeed. And I'm sure I've seen him as Henchman #2 in some late-80s straight-to-video action film. Or does the US have a lot of folk who look like that?

        On the mullet theme, my son (8 weeks) was born with a reasonable head of hair, and it's growing quite fast. Thing is, it's growing a lot faster at the back than the front, so in a few weeks I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a Mullet Baby. I thought this would be unusual, but Googling it, it seems there are plenty of them around, so add another to the rollcall. I love digital cameras - it'll be so much easier to distribute embarrassing photos when he's older!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Gotta say it

    Did the earth move for you?

    1. BongoJoe
      Grenade

      Shirley

      Writing "Happy Xmas, Bitch" would mean that the recipient would be less likely to use the thing than if it were wrapped up as an anonymous romatic present?

      Hand grenade - just because.

      1. Aaron Em

        Long on viciousness, short on brains

        And don't call me Shirley.

      2. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

        Re: Shirley

        A hand shandy grenade?

        1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

          Re: Re: Shirley

          Sex bomb.

          Gland mine.

          Improvised ecstatic device.

          etc.

          1. genghis_uk

            Getting a bit excited there Sarah?

            Must be a slow Friday...

            1. This post has been deleted by a moderator

          2. Mike Flugennock
            Thumb Up

            Re: Re: Re: Shirley

            Well, damn. Looks like our Moderatrix is really "on" today.

          3. Graham Marsden
            Coat

            @Sarah Bee

            You're getting off on those puns, aren't you...? ;-)

            1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

              Re: @Sarah Bee

              They're just puns. It's what I do. I don't know what you do for fun around your place but I suspect it is icky.

              1. Graham Marsden
                Happy

                @Sarah Bee

                You should be able to figure out the answer to that question from previous posts I've made, but if not, ask Jane Fae :-)

                (And it's only icky if someone consents to it being icky!)

        2. peter 45

          With apologies to Tom Jones

          Sex bomb sex bomb you're a sex bomb

          You can give it to me when I need to come along

          Sex bomb sex bomb you're my sex bomb

          And baby you can turn me on

          You know what you're doing to me don't you, Ha, Ha, I know you do

          Now Don't get me wrong ain't gonna do you no harm

          This bomb's made for lovin' and you can shoot it far

          I'm your main target come and help me ignite

          Love struck holding you tight

          Make me explode although you know the route to go

      3. Steven Hunter
        Unhappy

        @BongoJoe

        "less likely to use the thing than if it were wrapped up as an anonymous romatic present?"

        Would *you* use a sex toy that was sent to you anonymously?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Business at the front, party at the back

    I must say, this mulleted would-be misogyhadist's wild vibratorly scheming is rather half-cocked.

  4. Ginolard
    Joke

    Gotta say it II

    Bet that's the last time a girl ever says "Blow me!" to him

    1. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  5. MnM
    Paris Hilton

    Paris is wondering

    if it would have touched the sides

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    This post will probably be deleted. Heh heh

    Brings new meaning to the phrase:

    "I made her explode last night".

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Coat

      The best bang

      since the Big Bang.

      That's mine with the two collars...

      1. BorkedAgain
        Coat

        No, no, NO.

        "The best bang since the big one." - Mine's the one with the wide collar and three sleeves. Thank you.

        (not sure it's healthy to have known that by heart without having to look it up...)

        That's a nasty piece of work there, though. And the fact that he managed to have three relationships (albeit ones that went very wrong) with that hair and that attitude... Well, says a lot. Not sure what, but it says a lot of it.

        1. Aaron Em

          What it says, I think...

          ...is that that part of Minnesota doesn't offer a hell of a lot of options.

          1. skeptical i

            @Aaron, re: options

            The fact that mullet-man Lester could get vibrators would indicate that there ARE options ... even in the furthest reaches of Minnesota.

  7. lansalot
    Happy

    mind you..

    My mate Michelle wasn't phased..

    - nothing like a good bang for christmas

    - the orgasms just blew me away

    - i was so turned on by my new vibe i could have exploded everywhere

    Thumbs-up for her then...

  8. lansalot
    Unhappy

    Love it..

    This has so much potential for a tabloid-style pun-tastic headline.. I'm racking my brains, hope someone else is having more luck than me... :-(

    1. Elmer Phud Silver badge

      title

      Dumb Dude Done for Dodgy Dildo

  9. S Larti

    worst Xmas present ever?

    Nah, I've had worse. A rigged vibrator you can at least throw away, presents from in-laws on the other hand...

  10. Loyal Commenter Silver badge
    Joke

    Mullet: Check

    Dodgy Tache: Check

    What's the betting this guy also drives a Chevy pick-up with a shotgun on the passenger seat and selection of cheap pornography in the glove-box?

    1. Aaron Em

      Anything else would be a sucker bet...

      ...except the pickup might be a Ford or maybe a Dodge, and the shotgun's probably on the gun rack in the back window of the cab -- the passenger seat is for unregistered handguns, which are much more wieldy in the confines of a truck cab than long arms. (Sure, you could saw off a shotgun instead, but a) then you couldn't hunt with it any more, and b) a sawed-off shotgun'll send you to jail longer, because even in West Bumfuck, Alabama, it's considered a "gang banger weapon".)

      1. Naughtyhorse

        cough splutter

        west bumfuck... priceless

        1. Danny 6

          It's Alabama

          That's east bumfuck. Idaho is west.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Grenade

          cough splutter

          West Bumfuck, which is due south of East Bumfuck. The guy who named them had the map turned 90 degrees when he was choosing names.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Black Helicopters

      The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

      It might be a Chevy, Ford, or even a Dodge, but it's a sure bet it's 20 years old, beat up and covered with rust, but has a practically new high performance engine under the hood.

      Black helicopter because this guy is on every list in the country now.

  11. Lghost
    WTF?

    He faces 10 years inside if convicted,

    Surely if convicted he faces more than just 10 years ?

    in the land of consecutive 999 year sentences ~:o

  12. Disco-Legend-Zeke

    The Most Fiendish...

    ...bomb i ever saw looked like a paper coffee cup.

    It was placed on top of the victom's car, and went off when he lifted it.

    The whole thing was caught on tape in a casino parking garage.

    MORAL: Always use valet.

  13. chairman_of_the_bored
    Joke

    I can't resist it either...

    If he had made more than one he could have had a gang bang?

  14. IglooDude
    Grenade

    A classic love story, really...

    Boy meets girl, they fall in love, they fall out of love, they argue bitterly and break up, and boy plots to blow girl up with explosives-filled sex toy. Sure it's been overdone by Hollywood over the years, but in its purest form it still brings a tear to the eye just thinking about it.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Brings a whole new meaning...

    ...to the phrase 'Dirty Bomb'

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Grenade

      thats easy...

      its just a grenade with a very fast timer.... cup holds trigger handle in place lifting the cup off the grenade allows the trigger to flip then boom.

  16. ElNumbre
    Black Helicopters

    Terroristic a real word?

    Well, a Google search for terroristic has shown plenty of dictionary matches - I thought it was terrorist or terrorism. Or tourism if you've got a certain accent.

    Black choppers because well, that Google search will have flagged up on some govt system.

  17. Joe K
    WTF?

    Isn't that....

    ...Kenny "Fucking" Powers?

    Sheesh, the shit he learnt down in Mexico.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      War crime?

      I thought lab mines were against the Geneva convention

    2. LaeMing
      Stop

      Its

      Terror-tastic!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Terroristic a real word?

      No, but dildotastic is.

      Now you're going to have to google that to find out whether I've just made it up or not.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    As Basil Brush would say

    Boom! Boom!

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