back to article Make your iPhone patriotic - for free

If it's the $1.99 price that has been preventing you from being properly patriotic then hold back no more - until Christmas you can download the PatroitApp for free. The application simplifies reporting suspicious activity, instantly sending photograph-supported e-mails to federal bodies who need to know whether your neighbour …

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  1. g e

    Nice

    Maybe they could work some kind of deal with Raytheon and their yeehaaa nozzle caps

  2. LinkOfHyrule
    Thumb Up

    "Spin to choose threat level"

    "Spin to choose threat level"

    That is the best piece of UI user instruction ever to grace a software product, ever!

    Apart from that though, this app is a disgusting example of all round FAIL.

    1. sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD

      Oi, watch it you!

      I've just taken a picture of your post and sent it at threat level Red "Mind-buggeringly Insane".

      The neighbour's cat nosing through my rubbish only just got 'guarded'

      So, har, har.... That will learn you when the black helicopters come.

  3. DrXym Silver badge

    The perfect response

    If you see any idiot taking pictures with their "PatriotApp", denounce them to the authorities. They're probably taking pictures to plot a terrorist attack or something.

  4. Richard Bijster
    Big Brother

    Ingsoc

    Oceania is winning on all fronts - Airstrip One requires all citizens to spy on eachother. Thoughtcrime does not entail death. Thoughtcrime IS death.

    "I betrayed you," she said baldly.

    "I betrayed you," he said.

    She gave him another quick look of dislike.

    Winston Smith, now reconciled to his impending execution, has accepted the Party's depiction of life, and sincerely celebrates a news bulletin reporting Oceania's decisive victory over Eurasia for control of Africa. He then realizes that he had won the victory over himself. "He loved Big Brother".

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    "those wanting to report on suspected Eurasian agents"

    I have always wanted to report on Eastasian agents!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    I wonder if Dubya and Bliar are eligible

    Using the app can I report Tony Bliar and Dubya Bush as terrorists? They both have WMD's and lie to their neighbours about their activities. Seems that'd be reasonable if you were a customer of said App...

  7. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    El Reg Challenge ?

    come on, surely we can think of a better name than PatriotApp ?

    Snoop a doop ?

  8. IR

    Alright

    I have got to get in on this app-making junket. If people want to throw their money at crap, I want it to be my crap.

  9. ratfox Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Stirring music indeed

    Nevertheless, the $2 price soundly indicates that this is a for-profit outfit.

    1. Richard Bijster

      Pay abck

      Of course it's for profit. The out of control national debt of the US and other countries has to be paid off somehow after the bankers stole everything. And let us never forget, "We're in this together". Every little helps.

  10. Sparx
    FAIL

    ive just

    Reported a gang of dodgy looking snow men outside work. Hope the feds are coming sooooon!

  11. AlexH
    Black Helicopters

    Music

    I hope the app plays the same music as that YouTube video, otherwise I don't think people will feel quite as 'Jack Bauer' as they might like to...

  12. Tony Paulazzo
    Happy

    My report

    All empires, just before they collapse, go thru a period of paranoia and evil doings, England in India, Romans vs the Catholics. Now it's the turn of the US of A, enjoy the time you have left America, it was fun while it lasted.

    Happy Xmas el reg.

    1. Paul Johnston
      WTF?

      Run that one past me again!

      English in India Okay!

      Romans v Catholics?

      My thoughs are Catholicism came about circa 1054 and the Roman Empire had long gone by then.

      A belated Happy Hanukkah ;-)

  13. Paul RND*1000
    Big Brother

    The day this app starts selling well

    Is the day freedom dies.

    1. Affian
      Grenade

      Federal DDoS

      Or the day the Federal Email server give up in disgust

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At least it's not an official government app...

    Japan has had an official government website for years where one can anonymously report foreigners (or suspected foreigners) for various reasons, including "making me feel uneasy". The USA doesn't have a monopoly on xenophobia.

  15. dapneym
    FAIL

    Threat

    It's Wheel of Fortune: Threat Edition. Instead of money, it attempts to give you a little fright.

  16. Charles Manning

    Like the missile?

    Needs to be reset every few minutes due to software bugs that cause it to get lost.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Give me PatriotApp or give me...

    LOIC!

    It's free, you have an iphone and Christmas is the time for sharing pics, even with the feds.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    PatroitApp?

    Ah good ol' patriotism, the rally cry of any would-be fascist.

    1. Arctic fox

      Patriotism, ah yes indeed.

      Or as Dr Johnson expressed it long before any of us was born - "patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel".

  19. Mickey Finn
    Big Brother

    Un-needed App shurely?

    What is the point of this app, if the authorities already have access to every piece of intelligence?

    I believe they know my URL, the contents of my email and phone calls, the websites that I visit, and their cameras know where my car is and where I am.

    So what's their problem?

    1. Arctic fox

      Ssssh - they belive that there is no such thing as.....

      .......too little information. They haven't heard about processing yet!

  20. Deadly_NZ
    Megaphone

    Only in

    AM (we are not insane it just seems that way) ER (oh okay its the land of the Paranoid and Insane) IC (you) A

    Farkin Nutters Don't even deserve a black helecopter

    Yep All yanks are loud and obnoxious

  21. Syntax Error
    FAIL

    Spyware

    In view of Apple's inability to make sure that apps do not send personal information without the users consent I would not be suprised if this app does the same thing. The American establishment is paranoid about terrorism and is suffering from instituionalised fear of the next act and this "Patriotic App" (sic) would be a handy way of conning people into being monitored by the State. I for one think that Apple should not be allowing this program on the Iphone/Ipad as it again undermines the trust relationship between itself and its customers.

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