back to article I was timeboxed in a holistic scrum

Do you suffer from unsatisfactory projectile climaxes? Is your software construction methodology previous generation? Do you require the predictable outcome of pre-planning with the flexibility of iteration and the lightness of touch of partially de-hierarchicalised management approaches? No need to say anything. I can tell …

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  1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

    Sir

    At first I thought the article lacked appropriate comprehension techniques aimed at the literate, but then I came to the actualisation in my mind that

    <scrob off>

    there's no need to spell check.

    <scrob>

    Apologies to fervent administers of the aforementioned technique if this utterable has somehow encompassed a passing facsimile of sense.

    1. Esteis

      Ma'am

      Surely.

  2. Paul Johnston
    Thumb Up

    Nice

    Difficult to be agile at my age but becoming a SCROBER!

  3. jake Silver badge

    "Can you find it?"

    Yep. The word is "cross-" ... Board-room bingo has been old longer than most folks reading this have been alive.

    ::uploads:: three ::frowns:: for Xmas.

    Ta as always, Stob :-)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Analogue

    For some reason I always think of Ms Verity as the intellectual and more literate version of the BOFH, in the way that she challenges assumptions. She isn't Lucy Kellaway, is she?

  5. Andy Mc

    Erm...

    <cough> *AN* holistic scrum....

  6. Ken Hagan Gold badge
    Pint

    Can I find the imposter?

    Yes, I can. It is "deliverable", since I'll be throwing everything away.

    Do I get a pint? Or am I expected to make do with a transsubstantiated cup of tea?

    1. Richard IV
      Welcome

      And there was me...

      ...thinking it was stiction, which is what holds sticklebricks together. We're a playmobil shop here.

  7. VocalMinority
    Heart

    Execution Execution Execution

    As a fully acredited SCROB2 practitioner I take umbrage at the way this article completely failed to address the essential techniques of BACKEDUPLOGS and REPETITIONS.

    SCROB, just like any other deadly serious project management methodology, is only as good as the people executing it.

    Sorry, I put that backwards, the execution is only as good as the methodology; SCROB gives you a chance to be executed every day at 9am on the dot, whether you turn up or not.

    On the other hand, the entire thing might just be a made up user story...

  8. foo_bar_baz
    Thumb Up

    Very droll

    Yes, I can't help laugh at some aspects of Scrum and the religious zeal of some proponents. To keep up the religious comparison, for some reason the Scrum evangelists tend to focus on form over substance - as you point out. One can't just go through the motions and decide they're now "agile".

    However, Scrum as a reaction to top-down, rigid waterfall methodology should be seen as nothing short of a developer revolution. Done right, it puts a lot of power in developer hands and really lays bare the pain points (like overoptimistic and overbearing managers deciding on what's possible to do in what time frame).

    1. Tom Maddox Silver badge
      IT Angle

      Case in point

      "However, Scrum as a reaction to top-down, rigid waterfall methodology should be seen as nothing short of a developer revolution. Done right, it puts a lot of power in developer hands and really lays bare the pain points (like overoptimistic and overbearing managers deciding on what's possible to do in what time frame)."

      Bingo, sir.

      1. bandor
        Thumb Up

        @TomMaddox

        http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1994-02-22/

      2. foo_bar_baz

        Oops

        When you talk about things you need to give them names. It can be confusing, I know.

        Perhaps I should have said Scrum makes it plain it's my boss who's an idiot when I'm not able to achieve the impossible.

    2. martin burns
      Stop

      "Us in charge! Us in charge!"

      Funny, but no matter where you go, every profession thinks they should be running the show. I've seen it from product developers, designers, marketeers, accountants as well as PMs and developers.

      Thing is, many *good* (and yes, there are many *not* good ones) PMs and architects have been in the development trenches, so don't come the "we developers always know best" malarkey. Does experience not count these days (ah yes, that's right, it never does to the young). When you're in a trench, you tend to have a restricted view... come back and argue when you've done something *else*. (Applies also to marketeers, accountants etc).

      The other pattern I see again and again is that revolutions defined on what they're *against* are rarely as successful as those defined on what they're *for*. Very, very few agilistas are able to articulate the problem they're trying to solve, beyond "Waterfall: BOOOOO!" and if they are, are rarely able to articulate how they're planning to solve it. Principles are great, and "be supportive of your team" behavioural ones don't really require the evangelism and "Two Legs: Bad. Four Legs: Good" rhetoric.

      1. foo_bar_baz

        And?

        However, while Scrum doesn't have magic answers to many things (you can't ignore architectural plans etc. as some seem to think) it does improve on the plan-implement-test (I've used up my quota of buzzwords) pattern in many ways. I just picked one favourite improvement from a developer point of view.

        Maybe I hit a nerve. Notice I never said developers always know best. I just wanted to highlight how I find some satisfaction that Scrum has mechanisms to protect the developer from some friendly manager coming up with "here's a small thing I need you to do, should only take half an hour" and being pressurized into skimping on quality. It becomes the customer/manager's transparent, conscious and on-record decision to reprioritize: either leave something out of the scope or defer it to later. When following plan-implement-test those decisions are hidden and contribute to budget overruns, bad quality and late deliveries.

        Besides, it's often that poor PM's are just trying to make happen what the clueless marketeers promised to the customer. ;)

        I agree (and it should be plain from my previous posts) that many agilistas reduce Agile to some silly catch phrases, which is a shame. It detracts from the real meat and people (yourself included?) end up thinking it just means something like "be supportive of your team".

  9. Dave Murray
    Pint

    SCROBigami

    Pure class!

  10. Esteis
    Heart

    My hat is off to you.

    I am strangely attracted to these promises of lithe development techniques and supple software, and to being part of the it-crowd that fondles Innovation's bum. I could not tell you why.

  11. Mr Larrington
    Pint

    STOBtastic

    Or should that be SCROBtastic? Mind you, her at $BIGCO we just swear; it's easier and means an end to lack of comprehension.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    missing link

    Why was not there a link to sign up page for the SCROB course?

  13. deadlockvictim Silver badge

    Katakana English (or Ingurishu)

    works-orders = waakusu oudaruzu (ne!)

    Amari muzukashikunai, Berachi-san.

  14. Carol Orlowski

    Ms

    OK, I give up. is "Brad Plan-Driven" based on a real person, and if so who?

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