At last..... nuff said lol.
“And how long will it take?” the user echoes from the handsfree speaker on the PFY’s phone. “To restore access to your email? I’m not sure. Have you tried closing down Outlook and restarting it?” the PFY responds. “Yes.” “What about restarting it in Safe Mode?” “I tried that,” the user says – a little too quickly. “Well …
Then again, if any lusers at the company were clued up on the BOFH and PFY, they would have arranged a transfer ASAP. Except of course that would only work if they kept all their documents on a USB Flash Drive, and never (under any circumstances) contacted IT. Not that such activities would prevent the BOFH / PFY "discovering" incriminating emails or a whole host of other means of "persuading" them not to run to the competition...
... when people still had the occasional green-screen terminal, I was a desktop break/fix technician. I had this conversation with so many people:
Me - "Did you move the terminal today? You do know that the cable management is so tight at the back that pulling the screen towards you will disconnect one or both of the power or network cables?"
Them - "Of course not, we've been told about that"
Me (on getting to site) - "Do you see that clear spot in the dust trail behind the terminal? That shows me that you moved the terminal today and this cable lying unplugged on the desk is the network cable."
Cue me having an "attitude problem" after plugging the cable back in and miraculous recovery of the terminal session. Also cue complaints about my attitude. Finally, cue manager telling me to suck it up because every false callout like that is chargeable outside of the contract and pays my incredibly poor wages.
Oh for the ability to do the scene in today's BOFH.
In the Royal Signals I got called out on a really cold night when the power system on a comms vehicle (Radio Relay for anyone who knows them) all suddenly dissappeared. The 240V in the back of the vehicle was good for either a kettle or the heater (only one at a time) and nothing more as it was basically there to trickle charge batteries. The whole internals of the AC box was burnt out. Bit of investigative work later and I found the problem. Well... I say investigative work. Someone that had their home-made 150m extension lead plugged in the back of the truck came to ask me why it wasn't working. They had a kettle and heater in their tent, and a laptop and several phone chargers. The switches inside the vehicle for the heater was left switched on (cos no-one wanted to touch a box that was blowing out toxic smoke) the kettle was switched on too, with the mugs all prepared in a nice line waiting for hot water, and the TV and Xbox in the cupboard had been under constant use.
"No, no. None of this was all switced on at the same time. I specifically told those other people not to use it for their kettle or heater..."
reminds me of accidentally deleting a share containing all of the email for one region of a certain very large US-based communications hardware company, thus meaning nobody in France was getting anything done.
So while I was frantically restoring my co-admin was fielding the phone - "yes, cleaner tripped over a cable, it's ugly in here. We'll have you back very soon as soon but right now we've got electrons everyone - Rich, use the smaller funnel! - and we need to get them all back into this pipe, can I call you back?"
Loved the added touch about the users outgoing voicemail. Because you never listen to your own outgoing message.
Reminds me of one chap who would constantly download music and videos at work.
The network was running slow, so the guy in charge of IT at the time called him:
"Can you stop downloading movies, you are slowing the network down"
"I'm not downloading anything"
"Yes you are, I have remote monitoring software and am viewing your screen right now. Stop the downloads"
A minute or so after hanging up, the connection to the outside world sprang back to life.
He didn't start up his remote monitoring software. It was always the same guy messing around.
I once worked as an on-site tech in a metal refinery. We get a call one day that one of the windows based terminals no longer works properly and they want a tech to come look at it.
The computers are in concrete "cubes" that have AC so the workers don't cook next to the metal ovens while they work on the computers. That's a cubic room of cement with just one door. Somehow, someone "by accident" dropped a big blob of molten metal right in the middle of the terminal and the smell of burned plastic is overpowering. The guy's answer?
"I don't know who did it, but I'm sure it was an accident. "
For some reason, my manager didn't believe it either.
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