back to article Vista-hating Microsoft throws poo at Apple's iPhone 4

Microsoft really, really hates its dud Vista operating system - so much so that it can now openly badmouth its own product while taking a bitchy stab at Apple and its current iPhone 4 antenna woes. The company’s COO Kevin Turner took to the stage at Microsoft’s annual partner shindig yesterday to offload some snarky soundbites …

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  1. MarkOne
    FAIL

    You can tell when it's Microsoft time to launch new products

    Time to badmouth and spread FUD about the competition.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    re : "despite the problems with iPhone 4, customers still desire the product"

    That says more about the customers than it does about the product - they're more interested in the thing looking good than minor considerations such as the product actually working correctly.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      ...because

      Because Apple would never do that. Hi I'm a Mac, and I'm bloody great me and this is my shit head of a friend of a PC and take from me he's a fucker.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        @Vicky

        Did they ever mention Micro$haft ever?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Grenade

          Hi I'm a Mac and I'm taking the mickey out of PC because he's running... Linux Mint. Uhh...

          Are you seriously suggesting in all of those I'm a Mac, I'm a PC ads they were not having a jab at Microsoft?

          What were they decrying then, Linux? Somewhat unlikely.

          Don't get me wrong I quite like Mac OS X, but Windows 7 is also really nice. I'm just saying if you dish it, you gotta be able to take it too.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Vicky

        Did they run those adverts outside of the US?

        That style of advertising is pretty common in the US, whether it's Apple vs PC (+Windows), Verizon vs AT&T (+iPhone), Acura vs Toyota or Andrex vs Cushelle. In short, everyone does it. IIRC, MS did their own ones when Vista was around and they were a laughing stock.

        I've never seen an Apple advert on TV in the UK, but then I don't live in/around London, so there are a great many adverts I haven't seen for all sorts of things.

        I think those X vs Y type of adverts are frowned upon very seriously by the ASA, particularly where they make subjective or difficult to substantiate claims. Look at the recent hoo-har over who has the "best" 3G coverage, for example.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Badgers

          yes they did

          I saw the I'm a Mac and I'm a PC adverts in the cinema in the UK. They annoyed me greatly because they were blatantly wrong. One stated windows PC's lock up all the time and get viruses while it's impossible for Mac OS X PC's to have problems. While another said how PC's were for work and you couldn't play games on them, this before Steam was brought to Mac OS X.

          They were around for about 2 months before they went, I'm guessing the ASA had them pulled for being misleading/lying.

          1. ThomH Silver badge

            Pulled for being rubbish, actually

            For some reason they cast Mitchell & Webb in the localised versions, basically doing their Peep Show characters. So PC (/Mitchell) was about what they wanted, Mac (/Webb) was more like what Microsoft would want - lazy and self important. Or like they'd decided that the message should be "OS vendors are all a little rubbish"

            I think they do localised versions in quite a few countries. Or did, at least.

          2. PirateSlayer
            Jobs Horns

            D

            Unfortunately they did...and they cast British actors too. Namely the two characters out of Peep Show (in character). Obviously the hacks looking to generate that hideous, toe curlingly smug atmosphere which accompanies any Apple advert didn't understand that BOTH the Peep Show characters are deeply flawed. They had Mark as the straight PC and Jeremy as the 'Cool' Mac. As anybody who has seen the show knows, Jeremy is a loser who tries to be cool and epically fails all of the time.

            Apple adverts seem specifically designed for existing Apple fanatics and only appear to enrage or turn off other potential market. The smugness is overwhelming too.

            As for the games claim, I don't remember it but it is obviously complete bollocks. Good luck playing the latest games on an adapted laptop with a huge resolution screen...fail

    2. ThomH Silver badge

      No 'the' about it

      What was Microsoft's market share before Vista? What is Microsoft's market share now? Your attempt to draw a distinction between the buying habits of iPhone customers and customers of every other company simply doesn't work.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Dish the dirt - more please

      I'm liking this from Microsoft - They need to get a bit more aggressive!!! Take some notes from Apple who are the masters of this game.

      Yay!

    4. This post has been deleted by a moderator

      1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

        Re: @AC

        Easy now. Simmer down.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          WTF?

          @Sarah

          Interesting you choose to allow the offenses and attacks to go on and on. Is this not about discussion? Because attacks and offensive statements kill discussion, full stop.

          1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

            Re: @Sarah

            Well, one man's meat is another man's... poo. Or the same man's, if you hang around for long enough.

            I think we can all learn something from that.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        @AC2 "you know *nothing* of the criteria people use when buying an iPhone"

        Oh really? Funny that, seeing as I considered buying one and changed my mind because it doesn't seem to work correctly - it was one of the criteria for buying/not buying.

        "You know nothing and have no right to judge them."

        A bit like you know nothing about me but feel you have the right to judge me.

      3. Stone Fox
        Troll

        @ @AC

        LOL! Butthurt much? Did he hit a nerve?

        I'm not quite sure on what grounds you're going to deny that the Apple herd choose looks over function but I'd love to hear you try...

        1. ThomH Silver badge

          @Stone Fox

          Umm, it doesn't actually work like that. As in those crazy esoteric areas of life like science and law, the person making a statement has the burden of establishing that it's true. In all probability, if I were to claim that "In Summer 2003 you drowned a kitten" then people wouldn't think that must be true unless you can convince us that it's false. They'd ask me for my evidence.

      4. Ian Stephenson Silver badge
        Heart

        Re: @AC

        Dear Miss Bee,

        with regards to my comment http://forums.theregister.co.uk/post/816073

        I rest my case.

        1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

          Re: Re: @AC

          Sorry, that's not a link and I can't be bothered to cut and paste it. But I'm sure you're right about whatever it is.

      5. sisk Silver badge
        FAIL

        @you know *nothing* of the criteria people use when buying an iPhone

        Let's think about this for a moment. "If I hold this wrong I'm going to drop calls. I want one anyway." Seems to me that it's pretty obvious that functionality is not high on the list of considerations here. That's certainly not Apple's failing. In fact I'd call it a win for them and an epic fail for anyone who's gullible enough to buy their products.

      6. Anonymous Coward
        Flame

        Sure we know folks criteria for buying APPLE

        Consumerist folks are *zzwhole top-2-bottom. They buy crap-product ... just because they have freely-disposable money to do so. And **you** don't. How prole can it be to worry about ANTENNA DESIGN. Feckin-A dipole this dipole that ... peon iPhoneLess scum ... eat dirt.

    5. JimC Silver badge
      Flame

      @more about the customers...

      Or maybe it just says that Apple have a better handle on what aspects of the product are important to their customer base than their rivals do...

      Lets face it, just how many of the products that this flakey industry we work in delivers can really be said to work correctly in every aspect. It really depresses me that people would much rather buy the latest version with more wizzy whatsits and even more bugs than encourage the vendor to make the old product work consistently and reliably. Everything about purchasing habits in IT suggest that wealth of features is far more important to the customer than lack of bugs.

      1. Bassey

        Seriously?

        "Or maybe it just says that Apple have a better handle on what aspects of the product are important to their customer base than their rivals do..."

        What? You're suggesting that Apple's market research has shown iPhone users don't really care if their products can make phone calls, send text messages or make data connections? Seriously? PLEASE read your comments before posting and have a little think about what you are saying.

        I'm sure there are a million and one reasons why people buy iPhones but "Hey, it'll make a great paper-weight" doesn't count amongst them.

      2. Axel
        Gates Horns

        Apple learned from the master

        Bill Gates pointed that out years ago.

        http://www.cantrip.org/nobugs.html?seenIEPage=1

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          well, this thread really makes sense now

          seeing as you deleted the comment that most of the replies are directed at...

          1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

            Re: well, this thread really makes sense now

            Oh no! Whatever shall we do?

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Boffin

              Whatever shall we do?

              Imagine fast-paced banjo music playing while you read the thread. Works for me.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down

      D'oh

      Everybody seems to forget that the thing does work as long as you hold it like a normal human being.

      My TV doesn't work very well if I put it upside down or watch it with my hand in front of my eyes. Funny that.

      Just hold the damn thing properly morons.

      1. J 3
        Troll

        @D'oh

        And since when do phones come with a manual stating how to "hold it like a normal human being"?? If you did hang around human beings at all, you'd have noticed nobody needs instruction on how to hold their phones, they just pick it up any way the want and use the thing, no worries about not touching this or that corner -- my el cheapo phone that came free certainly didn't come with such instructions, and I've never paid attention how I'm holding it, which can be several different ways and either hand, depending on what I'm doing. Amazingly enough, it's yet to drop a call in two years of use. Funny, that.

        1. RichyS
          Thumb Down

          @J3. Umm, Nokia Do

          Well, Nokia do.

          http://www.engadget.com/2010/06/28/nokia-muses-on-grip-styles-says-you-can-hold-your-phone-any-wa/

      2. Doshu
        Troll

        Hold the phone

        The "normal human way"? Gratuitous insults?

        Hm. Thinking... thinking.... yepp!

        See pic.

  3. JimC Silver badge
    FAIL

    > "We don’t have a mission statement that reminds us not to do evil,”

    That, my friend, is more than obvious!

    (sometimes you just can't resist shooting a fish in a barrel)

  4. Warren G
    Pint

    There's more than one interpretation...

    ... of "We don’t have a mission statement that reminds us not to do evil".

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  6. uninventiveheart

    Simple...

    Microsoft: The inventors of the slash-and-burn merger. (How much did Danger cost again?)

  7. Hieronymus Coward

    How about a free upgrade then?

    If MS are admitting that Vista is a waste of disk space then how about they offer a free upgrade to Win7 for all their Vista users?

    Would be a nice way to bring back some positive feeling about MS operating systems for many who feel a bit disenfranchised after having been lumbered with Vista and don't want to pay twice for the OS.

    1. LPF
      Paris Hilton

      @AC

      why do you care so much about a company , that buy your own figures only sells a pidderling amount?? awh too poor to afford one :(

      Parisd because she also knows how to respond to a whiny little bi*tch

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Not so true

      Apple's products are a fashion item, but you can't dismiss their usability. I'm yet to use a touchscreen phone that's got the responsiveness of the iPhone, or an mp3 player that has the ease of use of the iPod's click wheel. Granted, iTunes is horrid, and marketing may be the drive for most purchases, but you are simply denying all the good things their products have.

    3. Seanie Ryan
      Thumb Down

      @AC

      whine whine whine ......

      fact is, I (and almost every other mac user I know) have NEVER bought an Apple device for the coolness.

      I know they dont "just work". Perfection in software / hardware from any manufacturer is pretty much impossible.

      But they do 'work' much better than anything else. I know I am much more productive using a mac than windows. I have to use both on an almost daily basis so its nothing to do with what i am familiar with.

      Now can you claim that you have spent years working on both, so that your post was an informed decision? Or was it just a jealous rant of someone who just fears the unknown so has to justify their own faults by masking it with a put down of others?

    4. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      @AC re: diatribe claiming he is better than you

      What a bunch of shit you write, full of falsehood and obfuscation, but when you've got a position of offense, people stop at nothing.

    5. Little Poppet
      Thumb Up

      Response to Iphone purchases

      Apple has attained a status where I believe no other company has matched; whereby the everyday consumer actually desires these products regardless of it's deficiencies.

      The desire is irrational, you can't apply reason or logic to it, hence the success of the iphone4 even with the antenna flaw. That is why I think your prediction is wrong; I believe people will still covet Apple products and still purchase them in greater numbers.

      Very sad, unfortunately.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      @AC

      "the reason why the iPhone is still selling is because people aren't buying a phone, they're buying a fashion accessory"

      Consumer Reports would disagree with you.

    7. DZ-Jay

      Re: iPhone purchases

      Well, that certainly explains why every review claims that the iPhone 4 is a great device--even those from from Consumer Reports and the like, which say that--other than the antenna issue--the iPhone 4 is the best smart-phone in the market.

      Perhaps most iPhone customers are buying the phone for *those* additional qualities, and enjoy them much more than they care for the so-called antenna problem.

      -dZ.

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I second the emotion

      I agree with H.C. because unless Microsoft give me a free upgrade of vista to Windows 7 there is no way I'm buying another Microsoft product again.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Thumb Up

        "give me a free upgrade of vista to Windows 7"

        I'd prefer a free upgrade of Vista to Windows XP. The only thing they'd need to do to make it "modern" is remove the 1 line of code from DirectX that says:

        If Windows version != 6.0 or 6.1 then: x = randint(1,64) print("you have error ", x, " bye") quit

        And similar code from all their other crap. But not IE9, no one cares if that runs on XP or not.

    9. Frank Bough
      FAIL

      It's been said before,

      ...but why don't you just get a fucking life already? Apple succeed; you fail; the world carries on regardless.

    10. Dante

      I third that motion

      Especially as I was forced to have it pre-installed on my laptop last year 'twas an extra cost to "downgrade" it to XP.

      I've already upgraded my older machines from XP... to Ubuntu.

      1. Player_16

        Count me in.

        Windoid people complained about OS X 10.6 costing $40 and said it should've been free; but I upgraded from XP to Vista home premium for $120 and that's a 2 hour ordeal. Now, it's lost all the ownership keys to all my programs -including itself- which means I have to reload EVERYTHING! That's a whole day! If I want to move up to W7, that's between $200 > $600! (W7 Ultimate)

        W7; Now THAT should've been free! (...or $40)

    11. Daniel 1
      Joke

      They should put up a few of these, around campus

      http://www.schneier.com/images/dont-commit-crime.jpg

      ...Just as a reminder, like.

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