back to article Jobcentre ejects Jedi Knight

A Southend Jedi Knight who refused to dehood in his local Jobcentre was escorted from the premises by security stormtroopers, the Sun reports. Chris Jarvis, 31, is described as a Star Wars fan and member of the International Church of Jediism. Said church's intergalactic hoodie uniform is at odds with the strict doctrine of …

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  1. Lith
    Coat

    Does this count as a title

    I think I'll go in to the jobcentre wearing a crash helmet and claiming that the power rangers are my religion.

  2. Secretgeek

    Apparently...

    ...this wasn't the job he was looking for either.

    Prat.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    FFS

    Withdrawal of benefits might concentrate the mind of this fuckwit to at least *try* to get a job.

  4. Liam Johnson

    missed the point

    Surely the whole point of a Jedi hood is so you can slip it down at appropriately impressive moment.

    A true Jedi would have dropped his hood just as the Stormtroopers were about to eject him, thus nullifying their plan, then with suitably theatrical hand movements, forced them aside and gone about his business.

    Must have been a newbie.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Muslim v Jedi

    Let's see, a Muslim is a follower of a religion founded some 1500+ years ago (and based on an even older religion) whereas a Jedi is a saddo who liked a Hollywood blockbuster.

    Posted anonymously as I can't have them using the force against me!

  6. Jason 24
    Thumb Up

    Applauds

    Thank you my man, just what we needed.

  7. Mike Watt
    FAIL

    His argument is flawed

    Jedis often remove their hoods in the films, so if he was a "true jedi" he would have no qualms with removing his. What a tool.

  8. SuperTim

    Jedis are not required to wear a hood.

    If he is saying he MUST wear it then he hasnt see the films. Anakin and Obiwan rarely wear their hoods and NEVER when they are in the Jobcentre (prove me wrong!).

    Besides, if he was a true Jedi, he would have a lightsaber that worked and a Master to tell him how to balance rocks and stuff. Also, Jedis are a peacable people who dont cause trouble unless they are in a cantina in mos eisley....and i blame the band!

    Seems to me he thinks the boys at the jobcentre have a sense of humour. They dont, not even a dark one.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      And again

      A Muslim is somebody who follows something which somebody made up 1500 years ago.

      A Jedi is somebody who follows something which somebody made up less than 1500 years ago.

      Hmmmm guess it's gonna be tears before bedtime

    2. HFoster

      Hear, hear!

      If he actually gave a shit about finding a job, he would've dropped his hood and used the services.

      People like him give those unemployed who do try to find employment a bad name.

      1. Danny 14 Silver badge

        aye

        And jediism is no crazier than crap that goes on in the bible.

      2. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        IT Angle

        Jedis are superior...

        A Jedi is somebody who is supposed to possess actual leet powers with influence on real world (he also has to be good with at least a katana of course). Absence of leet powers indicates a Jedi neophyte or acolyte who still needs training to accede to the lower rungs of Jedihood. Thus you can actually test for Jedihoodness, in other words, Jedi claims are falsifiable.

        "Official" Abrahamic religions just demand faith in the existence of an arbitrary Superoverlord and make shit up about divine intervention or miracles that may occur from time to time (not to mention arbitrary interpretation of the scripture and if need be retconning the scripture to accomodate current dogma). Evidently inferior.

      3. Kevin 43
        Grenade

        And again.

        Jedi'sm has internal splinter groups (pro and anti 'Jar Jar Binks') and rival groups whom they hate rather inexplicably because they are both just as mental as each other ("The Trekkies")

        Sounds like the hallmarks of a valid religion to me.

        1. El
          Unhappy

          Pro Jar Jar?!?

          Man, that's gotta be a _really_ small splinter group... do they hold their meetings in a phone booth?

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Religion in numbers

        Someone tell me what the cut-off line is?

        Religion is about faith in numbers, so numbers = religion.

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Another part

        You don't need a JobCentre to look for work, I never got any help from them...

        You need to go to a JobCentre so they can check you are looking (and help if required).

        Where does it say he wasn't looking for work?

        Where does it say he was going there to get help looking for work?

        I worked for 10 years straight, and was out for some months (now im not, luckily). The instant stigma people get is crazy - people making comments like yours give the unemployed a bad name ;) (that is only a bit of a job).

      6. Robin

        re: And again

        But which is best? There's only one way to find out...

        FIGHT!!

      7. relpy
        FAIL

        Jedism definitely first I think

        No!

        Jedism was definitely founded Long Ago In a Galaxy Far Far Away.

        Since Galaxy's tend to be upwards of 200,000 lightyears away, and the relevent one would presumably further away than average, I think we can safely assume that Jedism predates Islam by a significant period.

    3. LPF

      @Anonymous Coward Muslim v Jedi #

      So what if it was founded 1500 years, it has about as much basis in fact as the jedi religon. Prove the existance of any god whatsoever and you will have a point , otherwise keep quite dip stick!

      At least with the jedi you get 3 watchable films out of it, and you dont go around beheading non believers!

      1. Peter Kay

        *commences stirring pot*

        Of course, the three watchable films are : 4,5 and 3...

        (there are good points in ROTJ, but a lot of it is quite poor. 3 is a lot better, provided you imagine that everyone is a moron)

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Flame

      Wrong religion

      Wrong religion. Too harmless...

      Check if you have any viking ancestry so you can claim belief in Valhalla. Than declare your self a berserk and carry a battle axe and chain mail. There is apparently a badly phrased blah, blah in the relevant act and statutes that allow weapons to be carried in a religious context.

      Prepare lawsuits against anyone objecting. Fun ahoy...

      1. Tony S
        Coat

        watch out

        Berserkers often went into battle naked.

        Mine's the one with the copy of "Interesting Times" in the pocket.

    5. Marvin the Martian
      WTF?

      No, the hoods cannot be taken off.

      I distinctly remember all six Star Wars film long, all the jedi had their faces obscured and were talking from under the hood. Definitely never saw faces of any of them. Fact.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      or

      Or maybe the man is ill, or maybe he has a perverted sense of justice that means you shouldn't be allowed to harrass people until they've commited an offence. Who the hell are you to tell people to disrobe?

    7. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I think

      I think a better point in the Muslim v Jedi is,

      Nobody has gone to war in the real world over who is or isn't a true jedi.

      I'm pretty sure a fuck tonne of wars have been fought over who is/isn't a true christian/jew/muslim/hindu/etc

      And all of it is about giving humans a sense of purpose in another wise pointless existence, "what do you mean I just die? What the hell is the point in working if I'm just going to die? No there must be something better afterwards if I behave! And something far worse for people who don't behave. Excellent"

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      shut it....

      Nothing here suggests he wasn't trying to look for a job?

      Maybe if the people inside actually tried to help the people outside rather than trying to eject them... then maybe they wouldn't waste so much money.

      BTW. Ever seen a sign outside? Apparently you cannot do anything, not even talk on a phone... but this only applies to YOU the unwashed heathen... security guards and staff can talk and eat all day long, no fuss there.

      Oh, and try cycling to a job centre, being ejected, being told you can reschedule, being accused of not turning up, being told you can reschedule, being accused of not turning up (yes twice), being told that you shouldn't have been ejected... going next time and being ejected again...

      (yes this happened, luckily it was only a few months after a straight 10 years of employment so im glad im no longer there). Maybe I was one of these that couldn't be bothered look for work too?

    9. NightFox

      Better still...

      You are not the job applicant we are looking for.

    10. Olafthemighty
      Alien

      You fool!

      They already know who you are!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Have you read

    the bootnote for the story that you linked to? NO religions are officially recognised...

    So FAIL icon for el reg, but a big thumbs up for the Knight in question.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We are committed to provide a customer service

    "We are committed to provide a customer service..."

    Has the job centres remit changed? Granted it has been 8 years since I had to (very) briefly sign on, but back then their job appeared to involve making those who actually wanted to work feel like idiots while ignoring the people stood at the doorway talking about where they were going to get their next hit from once their JSA was in their accounts (I kid you not!). And don't get me started on extenuating circumstances!!

    Agree with what my freind said - the people that work there seem to be the ones that would have no hope of work anywhere else.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Grenade

      ...in which case ...

      Jedi-ism is on teh same footing as Christianity, Islam and Judiasm in the UK ...

      suits me

      1. Tony S
        Joke

        Icon

        Is that the holy hand grenade of Antioch?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Recognition

    An amusing story it may have been in the 2001 census, but that's not how you grant a religious recognition. All the trick in the census did was to grant it a code in the results, i.e. it doesn't appear as "other". It started out as a protest against the question even being asked in the census, but seems to have changed. I look forward to being bored by it in 2011.

  12. Jamie Kitson

    Related Story?

    http://failblog.org/2010/03/05/equal-opportunity-fail/

  13. John 118

    What a ...

    nob!

  14. Gordon is not a Moron

    Did the job centre tell security...

    "That's the muppet you are looking for." ??

  15. swaygeo
    Joke

    I wonder how many times...

    ....said letter writer had to delete the words "Dear time-wasting cretin" before they hit print?

  16. Chris Byers

    The dark side?

    I'm not sure about you, but his picture in the Sun makes him look like the Emporer!

    Some finger based lightning bolts could have livened up the afternoon in the Job Center.

  17. Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
    Joke

    Tesco too!

    http://tinyurl.com/l6hgf4

    Apparently Tesco said "Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all went hoodless without going to the Dark Side.”

    Looks like Darth Mandelsson is successfully creating an environment hostile to the Jedi...

    1. Kevin Reader
      Dead Vulture

      Did you see the comment on the Metro story...

      Where one of their commentards said: "What can I say.... Sith happens!"

      That's worthy of El Reg - how could we have been scooped.

  18. Jacqui Smith's DVD Collection!
    Thumb Up

    What's all the fuss about?

    He got an apology, he was clearly within his rights, has he been back? Can he now wear his hood in government buildings?

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    I applaud this man

    ... if the government want to go running around, pandering to any minority, and trying not to offend anybody, then hat's (or hoods) off to anyone choosing to play them at their own game.

    It's related to that story a while back, where peoples personal beliefs (in that case IIRC it was "climate change") are now treated as gospel, and you can't criticise them ....

  20. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Jedi is not a recognised religion

    "Jediism was officially "recognised" as a religion back in 2001."

    Erm no it was not, there was an online hoax campaign that claimed if enough people write jedi on the form it would be recognized as a religion. Enough people clicked to make it interesting enough for the General Registrar to publish the numbers, but he made it clear that it was not a recognized religion, nor had there been any chance it would have become one.

  21. Prag Fest
    Thumb Down

    Stick him in the army

    31, unemployed and and a Jedi. He's a real winner.

    1. Citizen Kaned
      FAIL

      maybe...

      he can form a coherant sentence though?

      As someone who was one of the tens of thousands(?) who put that down we did it as a protest over religion in general. at least george lucas didnt claim his made up story was real. unlike the idiots punting their various deluded fantasies.

      1. Anonymous Bastard
        Thumb Down

        "at least george lucas didnt claim his made up story was real."

        That's right, the film started with "Possibly a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..."

    2. Rob
      Thumb Up

      At last...

      ... someone who remembers the facts.

      With that, the job centre should have told the waster to eff off as they booted him out. No doubt he'll now claim he can't look for a job cause they won't repect his right to wear a cheap imitation movie prop.

    3. Neil Hoskins
      Boffin

      ...and the politicians?

      It's nothing to do with the registrar. It was a sneaky way for Tony Blair to start trying to replace the declining established church with a hotch-potch of other superstitions. Some of us are trying to get rid of the bishops in the House of Lords, not replace them with immams and gurus.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Error in method there is.

    Where as there is no such hood doctrine enshrined within the Jedi way of life (Its not even a religion in the films) there is a religion dedicated to dereligification. I feel he should convert to pastafarianism and return dressed as a pirate.

    All hail his noodly appendages.

    WTF no FSM icon?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    fixed

    "Chris Jarvis, 31, is described as a Star Wars fan and member of the International Church of Jediism"

    should read:

    "Chris Jarvis, 31, is described as a Star Wars fan and member of the International Church of being a juvenile prick"

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