Lord of the Rings Receives Knighthood
The Lord of the Rings has received a Knighthood in the New Years' Honours List, it was reported today.
Sauron, 1432, was honoured for his 'contribution to multiculturalism' following his groundbreaking campaign to join together the disparate races in Middle Earth under a single unity government. His environmental work to reintroduce the previously-extinct Orc back to the Hobbiton region of The Shire.
Mr Sauron's publicist, S Aruman of Wizard PR, said, "the Dark Lord Sauron is delighted by the knighthood, and disappointed that he will not be there in corporeal form to accept the honour. He is gratified that his unending campaign to bring unity Government to Middle Earth has been recognised - in all honesty, he was hoping for some sort of honour this year, he's had his Eye on it for some time now."
Also honoured in this year's list were aging rockers Status Quo, who both received the OBE with 12 bars, and Star Trek actor Patrick Stewart, who received a Knighthood. When asked how he would like to be addressed in future, the former Star Trek actor said, "Make it Sir".