High performance outsourcing
Should be right on the message
Of the countless companies sponsoring Tiger Woods these days, you'd think a global outsourcing company would find revelations of the golfer's allegedly numerous extramarital affairs the least incongruous with its corporate image. Alas, such self-reflective logic has little place in these matters. The technology services and …
Passing through arrivals at Heathrow T1 this evening I saw an Andersen^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H sorry Accenture poster with the same tag line.
Someone who flaunts their fame to get into anyone to go to bed with them, screws them silly and then leaves someone else to pick up the pieces. And a picture of Tiger Woods too. What irony.
They have Henry the Cheat and Tiger the Cheat so all they need is for Federer to Roger some blond, not his wife, bimbo and its a clean sweep or a close shave.
Its the best a man can get indeed.
I always wondered why Henry the Hand was in the Adds with Roger the Dodger and Tiger the Wood
We may soon find out.
All of Accenture's recent ads are on the theme of the true measure of your character being how you act in the face of adversity, using golf as a metaphor for business or personal challenges.
Now we know how Accenture acts in the face of adversity. They throw their teammate to the wolves and outsource a new ad campaign.
They had a once in a lifetime chance to step up to their own mantra and show us a truly inspiring way to respond to a setback, but of course they don't believe their own B.S.
The really amusing thing about all this celebrity/corporate lovefest stuff is the 'matey' thing. One minute GlobalPigCorp's ad and promo stuff has them appearing almost a single human being, the best friend of the celeb in question as if they'd just met over a few drinks, and hey! really hit it off. But once the fecal matter impacts violently with the air circulator, suddenly they miraculously transform back into a large faceless global organisation of people who work in offices and who couldn't give a rats for someone flawed who blew it (or in some cases, sucked it).
I wonder if in the long run the whole thing doesn't do them more harm than good, given the propensity of so-called celebrities for imploding violently with little warning, usually in the most vulgar and thoroughly biological manner imaginable - especially inconvenient if you target audience of imbeciles are septics, not precisely known for their tolerance of sex-related anything really.
Are there really people out there so mindless as to actually buy/rent/contract something just because some overhyped grinning machine has been paid a kings ransom to say the sun shines from their rear? We need a Playmobil to examine the facts.
There's a couple of posters above who labour under the delusion that IT is Accenture's business. Let's set them straight....
Accenture create and manage contracts. Any delivery of IT solutions that (often does not) results therefrom is coincidental. Indeed the IT is merely an impediment to the skewering of their bloated corporate or inept government clients who couldn't specify a proverbial in a brewery.
Customer: "Deliver tous a hubristic mega-IT system within 6 months that makes us look really cutting edge and clever and delivers lots of synergy, leverage and empowerment"
Accenture: "Why yes sir and we'll do it far cheaper than EDS/Fujitsu/BT/etc"
18 months later
Customer: "Why can't we log in to our IT system?"
Accenture: "Log in screens - let me see now. Ah - not in the contract - logging in would be a change request - that will be $n billion extra please"
Accenture partners: [off] "Kerchinggggg :-)"
It would be entertaining if you as taxpayer / shareholder / customer weren't paying them.
A man who hits little balls with a hooked stick has a minor RTA. Who cares?
Man crashes car because he's been caught playing away from home. Who cares?
A multi-national sharkpool of over-priced parasites dumps him. Who cares?
The world faces climate disaster (or the biggest con in history depending on your outlook); British troops are being killed in Afghanistan; the web is becoming a cesspit of fraud; Britons are reeling under the most incompetent, bossy and repressive government in recent history; Google is turning into Microsoft; and what are we obsessed with? Some dull little bore who plays one of the dullest games ever invented. Who cares?
I have no idea what Accenture do or who they are.
Tiger is the only thing that brought them to my notice. Dropping him pushes them back into the obscurity from which they recently came. Not saying they should or shouldn't continue to spend millions on him, that is clearly personal choice but really.. those adverts were shite anyway. Whoever owns Accenture should just cut the ad guys loose and give themselves a big Christmas bonus.
JaitcH: "Given that Accenture is a reincarnation of the formerly disgraced Arthur Andersen ..."
Accenture came from "Andersen Consulting", which split acrimoniously from "Arthur Andersen" in the 1980's (well before the Enron scandal). As a consequence of this, Andersen Consulting was completely untainted by Arthur Andersen's behaviour (as they had long since been a separate and unrelated company).
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