I was under the impression ALL iPhone owners are wankers.
Shopping site Retrevo has been talking to iPhone users and has discovered that they prefer cool gadgets to degrees, but still consider themselves intellectual. The "study" involved polling 445 iPhone and Blackberry users about their relationships with other people and their kit, and discovered that iPhone users consider …
I was under the impression ALL iPhone owners are wankers.
What a load of bollocks this study is, both the concept and the results.
That is all.
> 33 per cent of those with an iPhone have used a text message or e-mail
> to break up with a partner
... there must be an app for that
This is all to do with 3.5 inches !
are wankers in more ways than one.
Some say that 100% of iPhone users are tossers anyway.
That implies that only 1 in 5 iPhone users are male!
Conclusive proof, the iPhone is a womens phone.
(Only!) A third of iPhone users are vapid, shallow creatures!
Paris: That same third of iPhone users may understand why, but only if they can pull their heads out of their arseholes.
"35 per cent of iPhone owners said they would find a partner with out-of-date electronics a turn off"
What a shallow bunch of fucks 35% of iPhone users are.
"33 per cent of those with an iPhone have used a text message or e-mail to break up with a partner"
What a bunch of cold cowardly bastards 33% of iPhone users are.
Therefore 68% of iPhone users are assholes.
Isn't a "intellectual iPhone owner" a oxymoron? Certainly any I've met have failed to impress me with their intellect.
Who did they ask? Numb-nuts 18-25 year old blokes who they saw walking up the road yapping on their Jesus-phones!
"So tell me sir, what do you do with it?"
"he he he, we look at, *smirk*, porn! ha ha ha"
My missus and two of her mates have iPhone's, I'd be surprised if 3 middle aged women in my circle of contacts were looking at bongo-flicks, while juggling kids and jobs!
"extrovert intellectuals who know a lot about the media" this sums Apple fanbois I know in a nutshell, twats with their heads up thier own arses in laymans terms, especially seeing as none of them have media related jobs and the intellectual part is highly dubious.
No icon for 'head up own arse' so just imagine where the thumb is instead.
Ever been to the pub with your mates that have iphones? You get a beer, sit at the table, and within seconds if something shinny or hyper fast conversation hasn't taken route they whip out their iphones and start doing whatever it is iPhone users do. It is a wonder to behold.
just type that into safari on your iphone, and you are good to go.
Got an IQ of less than 100? Buy an iPhone it gives you that 50 IQ advantage you need over "real" intellectual types who have one of those silly Degree things!
Need to breath and control motor functions? Don't worry, we've an App for that! Its only 99c, and why not buy a fart app while your there, you never know when you might need one!
Just select 'vibrate', there's an app for that.
Let's be fair, here: I know a few people who are both worthwhile human beings and iPhone owners, so it's evident that not *everyone* with that device is a complete toerag. Just most of them.
"iPhone users and has discovered that they prefer cool gadgets to degrees, but still consider themselves intellectual"
Consider themselves intellectual? like that means anything to the rest of mankind.
Shame maths isn't that simple eh. What about the people that cross both groups? Let's be honest it's probably all the same guys so it'll probably stick at around the same percentage...prob 40% max ;)
Man, ive heard that 31.56% of statistics are made up!
I expected this kind of pedantic response from at least one person.... Did you not see the joke icon? Though why I should defend my joke and assert that I do have at least a rudimentary understanding of statistics and set theory I don't know, I certainly don't feel aggrieved. Perhaps it is because it is a slow day and I am fed up fiddling with my LAMP server. Mmmm... fiddling, I know what I can do next ;-)
My new site will be live soon.... Can I plug it here Sarah... Please?
"... iPhone users consider themselves to be extrovert intellectuals who know a lot about the media but find a lack of high-tech gadgets to be a turn off."
The Jobsian Reality Distortion Field™ has been turned to 11. Longing to be the "cool kid" on the block and playing, by yourself, with electronic toys while among a group of people is not exactly the standard textbook definition of extrovert. I suppose if "the media" is limited to Apple press releases then they can probably be qualified as experts. Yes, yes, iFolks, you are all very special and unique, just like everybody else.
Pocket protector out of style? There's an iPhone for that.
"Let's be fair, here: I know a few people who are both worthwhile human beings and iPhone owners, so it's evident that not *everyone* with that device is a complete toerag. Just most of them."
So 99% of iPhone users give the rest a bad name.
iPhone users are indeed a pack of w*nkers ;)
.. for the iPhone shake function. It's like being there yourself.. :-)
BTW; to prevent others from seeing the entertainment (at least, without participating in the costs), there's now an iPhone privacy protector - the same idea as availbale for laptops.
The flasher mac with the tissues, please..
"Therefore 68% of iPhone users are assholes."
And the other 32% are the developers who use the phone for making a living off of that 68%. Good on them!
I take that to mean that four fifths of iPhone users are liars then, right?
The angry beige Dell warriors are easier to wind up than their more exotically-plumed Clarksonian relatives.
Wow, the level of hatred an jealousy here would make a jihadi terrorist proud. So none of you angry people would ever watch porn on a non-Apple smartphone? Suuuuure ...
To those of you (mostly anonymous, understandably) who would paint iPhone users as wankers I say this ...
In view of statistical evidence that MOST males are truly into at least occasional onanism, you must at the very least be in denial and at worst, liars.
I suppose you blame the stains on your N97s or whatever.
Back to the poll ...
Nielsen Mobile estimates there are 2.3 million US mobile subscribers using an iPhone.
The iPhone accounts for 1 percent of all embedded mobile phone users in the US.
And they polled 445, INCLUDING Blackberry users!
They ought really to be out of work!
1. intr. To make jokes, to jest.
2. trans. To make the object of a joke or jokes; to poke fun at; to chaff, banter, rally.
3. trans. To get or put (out or away) by joking.
Who said anybody here had a problem with the idea of masturbation? We're *technical people*, for God's sake! No, it's a completely *different* set of unsavory habits, not suitable for public indulgence, that we're getting onto iPhone owners about. Do *try* to keep up, won't you?
The reason for the low porn number? @&T's dodgy 3G, of course!
I can't speak for Blackberry users, they're a weirdly focused managerial subset but for an iPhone user, iPorn is watching Steve give keynote speeches or online trailers for new Mac technology. There's nothing dirty about it, at least not in terms the rest of us are comfortable with.
A much more interesting question would have been "have you had sex with your phone?"
What? It would!
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