back to article Scots slam Germans for 'tight-arsed' slur

The Scottish National Party has decided to take the Germans to task for commonly insinuating that our Caledonian cousins are a bit tight, The Telegraph reports. Those from the land of Lederhosen, Bratwurst and Sauerkraut apparently associate the Scots with thrift - something reflected in the term Schotten Preise, which they …

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  1. Number6

    Dam Busters

    It's OK, we got our retaliation in first, if you remember the classic ad with the towel thrown from the balcony.

  2. Trygve
    Pint

    Utter bloody twaddle

    I think the Germans will stop portraying the Scots as tight-fisted the day Britain as a whole quits making references to World War Two, Lederhosen and sauerkraut - roughly the twelfth of never.

    The scots would be much better off focusing their ire across the southern border, where they are all portrayed as chubby ginger gobshites with a drinking problem and a chip on their shoulder (garnished with haggis & mars bar, both deep-fried naturally). Which we all know is not true, right?

    Pint of McEwans, obviously.

  3. LuMan
    Pint

    A German Joke

    Apparently our Deutschbrüder find this quite amusing:

    Three Germans are enjoying a beer in their favourite Biergarten; one from Hannover, one from Berlin and one from Munich. Three flies descend and each take up residence in one of the Germans' beer. The guy from Berlin calls a waiter and insists the beer is replaced. The guy from Hannover removes the fly, but carries on drinking anyway. The bloke from Munich removes the fly and makes the little sh*t spit back any beer it drank!

    Not that we'd imply Bavarians are alcoholic in any way....... They just like beer..... for breakfast...etc..

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    You'll have had your Bratwurst?

    See? It's not just the English and the Irish who think it. Or even Brian Blessed, with his line about them panic-buying petrol on Have I Got News for You.

    I wonder what Mac sales are like in Scotland?

  5. Thorsten
    Pint

    Not only tight, but slow as well...

    I can remember (barely) that jokes about Scots being tight were made over here when I was a kid, and that's 30+ years ago. Nobody noticed apparently. But then so were jokes about East Frisians (for being slow) or Suebians (for being tight). Interestingly, there was a long running campaign by the largest electronics chain with the tagline "Geiz ist geil" ("stinginess is cool"), and not a single Scot to be seen in any of the advertisements.

    If that doesn't sound like a coherent argument, it's because it's past pub o'clock already.

    BTW, shops being called McSomething don't allude to Scotland but to the golden arches. Do Scots complain about being connotated with processed meat in a bun? If they do, does anybody understand their hermetic accent?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Not just Germans

    I notice that Disney created Scrooge McDuck not Scrooge Duckstein

  7. Pyros
    Joke

    They should use a different sterotype.

    Like, say... Polish?

    *runs away from the horde of sausage-weilding, Kow-a-zaki-riding maniacs*

  8. thomas k.
    Joke

    So, a Scot walks into a bakery ...

    and stands looking into a display case.

    Clerk: May I help you?

    Scot, pointing: Is that a donut or merenge?

    Clerk: No, you're right, it's a donut.

  9. ilikejam
    FAIL

    Oh noes!

    Well, I'm Scottish, and I don't give a deep fried mars bar if the Germans are taking the piss.

    Could someone tell the SNP to stop making an arse of themselves, please?

    Och aye the noo, etc.

  10. garhol

    Aye whit?

    I bet that bawbag uses oor tax money to pay fir his campaign!

  11. Pabs

    I'm Scottish

    ....always looking for a bargin!

  12. Klovis Spamster
    Joke

    So, what about the Swiss, the Dutch, the Danes...

    Hoolala! I wonder how he'd react to the super-thrift shop chain "McGeiz" (McMiserly), the low-cost fitness-chain "McFit" and the low-rent dreck-food chain "McDonalds"...

    Amiable national stereotyping is not reserved ot the Scots, though. The Swiss are generally shown outGermaning the Germans, the Danes tend to wear funny helmets with horns and the Dutch infest the Autobahns with caravans the size and shape of a large Gouda.

    The SNP in general and Angus Robertson in particular should get their collective heads out of their colons. They don't know when they're having it good.

    Btw. David McAllister is chairman of the CDU of Niedersachsen only, err, that would be the old duchy of Hanover.

  13. Glyn 2
    Pint

    what next???

    Riots about cartoons???

    When are we all going down to the german embassy to burn flags???

  14. /etc
    Thumb Down

    Ronnie Corbett Joke

    I don't know I've ever met a mean Scotsman. However, anyone who complains in all seriousness about jokes must be humourless, thin-skinned, and nursing a inferiority complex -- which is worse than being mean.

    As for "Angus Robertson MP ... decried: 'It doesn’t have to be this way. You wouldn’t do it with orthodox Jews'." ... well, that's just rubbish. I can clearly recall Ronnie Corbett telling a joke about a Scotsman and a Jew in a pub who were both drunk. He said you could tell because they were both trying to pay: the Jew was throwing a fiver at the Scotsman and the Scotsman was throwing it back.

    He wasn't being offensive to Jews or Scots. Good grief, he is Scottish.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    A better place

    Being a German I am really ashamed using stereotypes like that. The world would be better place without, no Scottish jokes, no war, no hunger and peace and wealth everywhere.

    By the way, do you know this one: two Scots are ....

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Sense of humour

    I thought it was the Germans that didn't have a sense of humour?

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    German Solution.

    "All this has proved a bit too much for the SNP, which will now "lodge an official complaint with Germany’s advertising association""

    All the German advertising association has to do is ask that it puts it into writing.

    If he has to spend money on a stamp they will never hear from him again.

    *\. You wouldnt hit a man with glasses... wait didnt you punch a flaming man.er.. *ouch*

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    As a Scot....

    I'm just pleased to see they can tell us apart from The English

  19. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Utter Twaddle

    I'm Scots and its actually in our upbringing to go without to give our last food/drink/penny to complete strangers. I'm sick of this nonsense being propagated.

    Scots are actually faultlessly generous -- its the English that are a bunch or tight-arses.

  20. John Hawkins
    WTF?

    And people complain that Germans lack a sense of humor

    Still, the Scots are said to have created golf so they must have a sense of humor somewhere.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @thomas k.

    That may just have had the slightest bit of humour if you'd managed to spell meringue correctly.

    As it is, it's old, tired and as funny as a vasectomy with a rusty chainsaw.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Headmaster

    Fawlty Logic

    Whatever you do, don't mention the war!

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    What we can deduce -

    Is not what Germans think of the Scots, but what German twits like Flaskamper think of the Scots.

    Most Germans like the people, don't mind the beer, and are rightfully suspicious of the weather. Personally, the only thing I can complain about Germany is that the Northern half is flat as a pancake that's had a run-in with a steamroller. This is more than made up for by the beer however, which is not.

  24. Splurg The Barbarian
    Linux

    A completely untrue stereotype

    As a Scot it does get a bit grating to be constantly accused of being tight, especially as I recall per head of population we give more to children in need etc than any other part of the country.

    On the other hand I wish the SNP would stop doing anything to get their picture in the paper or on the tv!

    Penguin? Well it is free is it not, just because its grating to be accused of being tight , doesn't mean I'm not!! ;)

  25. Tom Turck

    Pot calling the kettle

    A case of the pot calling the kettle black here....

  26. Tom Turck

    Bismarck in a kilt

    Seriously well known that Bismark loved Scotland!

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Welcome

    Mean? Surely some mistake.

    Deeply unfair to imply the scots are mean. They're extremely generous with English money.

  28. Hud Dunlap
    Joke

    So Sue 3m corporation

    Where do you think the name Scotch Tape came from?

  29. Campbeltonian
    Pint

    Give it a rest...

    I'm Scottish myself, and I think one of our better attributes is our self-deprecating sense of humour. So we don't mind that much that people call us tight, as long as it's a good laugh.

    Instead of whinging about our negative attributes, let's focus on our positive attributes such as our sense of humour, or our inventiveness.

    For example, the invention of copper wire can be attributed to a Scot.

    Well, two Scots.

    Fighting over a penny.

  30. Stu_The_Jock
    Joke

    The truth about scots

    Scots are NOT mean, or tight fisted in any way.

    It is mearly a story we spred to reduce the occurance of people asking us for money.

    < snigger >

    Personally I have no problem with the stereotype jokes, as long as it's done with the right spirit.

    Whisky (NO NOT Whiskey, that's american and an abomination!)

  31. Richard 102

    Terrible stereotype

    Why pick on the Scots? All this hated invective should be directed towards the Danes, he said, channeling the late Severn Darden.

  32. Dave Murray
    Thumb Down

    No title (saves words)

    The SNP should get back to trying to run the country and stop making stupid pronouncements that none of us have any interest in. Oh wait that's all they've ever done.

  33. Throatwobbler Mangrove

    Jesus, get some perspective, man

    “It doesn’t have to be this way. You wouldn’t do it with orthodox Jews, so why do it with Scots?"

    Because, you numpty, Scots have never been killed in pogroms or holocausts sustained by vicious propaganda accusing them of being blood-sucking usurers, that's why.

    Feel free to whine about some tacky, old-fashioned adverts all you want but please don't try to make out that they're practically copies of Der Stürmer.

    (On a side note, it's interesting that the Christian Democrats guy is a German of Scottish descent while Wikipedia says Angus Robertson is a Scot of German descent!)

  34. C. P. Cosgrove

    Brits ?

    Contrary to the impression given in the footnote, the last time I looked, we Scots were Brits. Good laugh though

    Chris Cosgrove

  35. Tzael

    Easily offended?

    I don't think it's wrong to call us scots tight-fisted, we often joke about it ourselves. I think this is a case of not liking it when other people point it out. It's a bit like when a certain type of woman goes on about how ugly or flabby she thinks she is, but if someone made the same comments to that woman they'd better have fast legs!

    Speaking personally as a scot I don't think I'm necessarily tight-fisted, I just believe in getting good value for my money :)

    Maybe it's just the SNP that feel as if this is some personal persecution against them, or more likely just another opportunity to get in the papers...

  36. Neil Greatorex
    Boffin

    The Grand Canyon wasn't formed by millions of years of erosion

    Nope, a Scotsman lost a tenner down a rabbit hole.....

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    May i be the first...

    ... to welcome the harsh humour being dealt to our NuLabour porridge-bothering tuition-fee-imposing bank-bustin overlords

  38. Jason Togneri
    FAIL

    @ Thorsten

    No, it's not "McSomething", after McDonald's, it's actually "MacSomething" - one such being a cheap newsagent/stationer chain, called MacPaper. So an allusion to the Scots, rather than the US junk food chain.

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Watertight...

    I'm English in origin, and moved north of the Border 30 years ago. Before I moved, friends asked me why the hell I might ever wish to live among such mean people. I replied that their comments were racist - of course - you simply can't categorise a whole country like that.

    Within a few years of moving here, I was asked again how I found the Scots. In all honesty I had to report that I found them for the main part to be as tight as fishes' arses - and they're watertight. At best, Scots can be generous to a fault - but at worst they are mind-bogglingly, embarrassingly, wish-the-earth-would-swallow-me-up, mean. The latter numbers sufficient to make the traditional generalisation a fair one.

    I can well see why they resent the German comment. Scots resent - often violently - any picture of Brigadoon that doesn't present a self-righteous image of some kind of intellectual and cultural paradise, rather than the narrow-minded third-world country it is rapidly becoming. In a way, just a pity the country is so damned beautiful.

    But of course, compulsory political correctness dictates I simply may not say such things, however true, and I dare say this comment will never be published.

  40. J 3
    Paris Hilton

    Wow...

    When a Conservative tells you to lighten up about something, things must sure be weird...

    Anyway, would the SNP blokes want to trade stereotypes with us Brazilians? Or are Scottish women already considered beautiful, but also easy sluts? Just the former? Just the latter? None?

    Is Paris of Scottish descent? I'm not.

  41. N2 Silver badge

    Jocks...

    Tight as a gnats chuff

  42. Richard IV
    Coat

    Dare one?

    Of course one does.

    Clearly the Scottish Parliament and Edinburgh tram service are evidence of Scots not being tightarses. Merely evidence of them being a bunch of ginger haggis-munching sporran-wearing alcoholic cholesterol-ridden heroin-overdosing Anglo-subsidised money wasters.

    Which stereotypes do the Scots prefer? I would suggest that stinginess and orange freckliness were the least of their worries.

    [Disclaimer: it is not funny when your flatmates decide to watch Braveheart 3 times back to back. Consider this revenge... mine's the one with Employee of the month: Robert Campbell on the nametag]

  43. Charles Manning

    Why do Scots have long thin cocks?

    Because they're so tight fisted.

  44. Mycho Silver badge
    WTF?

    Hoots

    Being English and having lived in Scotland for 5 years I'd like to ask what makes him think Scots are blameless in national stereotyping stakes?

  45. Geoff Mackenzie
    Joke

    "us Brits"

    There are no Brits, ye Sassenach.

    Scots aren't tight, just very poor. Has to do with our thieving neighbours to the South.

  46. Davey Bee

    Well, I'm a Scot

    And this doesn't bother me at all. I'm sure the Germans don't really think this about individual Scotsmen, so I just find it funny. What did niggle me for a time was that any Scotsmen in 90s soaps seemed to be violent drunks; but this sort of jokey stuff about being mean? Nah, no sweat.

    PS And no, I don't wear a skirt either. Well, except on Saturday nights I suppose, when I usually call myself Linzee

    PS2 Doh!!!!!!!

  47. Robert E A Harvey
    Coat

    For Glod's sake

    Without a bit of racial sterotyping the world gets very dull.

    I say, Up with pot-smoking dutchmen with their fingers in Dykes, Hurray for French chaps on bicycles with onions on the handlebars, Welcome the Fat Bavarians in lederhosen with a sausage in one hand and a beer in the other, Well Done to repressed Englishmen in suits, Huzzah for comic-opera Italians gesticulating all over the place, and God bless all Swedes, clever enough to follow you into a revolving door and coming out first!

    Russians /have/ to wear fur hats; Irishmen /need/ to carry a shelaliegh; and Norwegians /must/ eat fish 3 times a day. It's traditional. Just as the Welsh /ought/ to be in a running battle with red-haired winking dominatricies of restricted height. [1]

    So why on earth should the Scots be exempt? It could be worse, they could be portrayed as dour, humourless, kill-joys standing at despatch boxes and looking in two directions at once.

    I'll get me coat. It's got bells and hankies tied on it, and a squeezebox in the pocket.

    [1] to be fair, /anyone/ in a running battle with that one deserves public support.

  48. El Zed
    Happy

    Ye may tak' oor freedom, but ye'll no tak the piss...

    Ah, must be great,

    All Scotland's internal problems have all been solved, so now the SNP can go tackle the most important external problem facing the Scots in the 21st century, that of the comedy stereotype of the 'canny' Scot being used by the German advertising industry.

    (Forget the skagheids, forget the EEC fucking up oor fishin, forget the fucked up economy, forget the corrupt councils etc, forget yon sassenach scunners urr aboot to fob anither Tory government oan us, forget yon sassenachs stealin' oor oil (GDARFC :) ) yon Gerrie scunners are takin' the piss oot 'o us, an' its naw fair...)

    True, this gross and unfair stereotyping of our whole nation by those square-headed-sauerkraut -munching-lederhosen-wearing Teutons has to stop, as any Scot will tell you it's really only people from 'Furry Boot' city who're the tight-fisted barstuarts...

    Serious sense of humour failure here on the part of this SNP tumshie.. or is he just being a bit of a media whore.. So, what's next on this ba'bags agenda eh, demanding maybe a rewrite of 'Kidnapped' to remove Ebenezer Balfour?, and, as a previous poster did mention Scrooge McDuck, how about him tackling Disney on that one then? (good luck with that, and, what's that, Glasgow council have got Mr. McDuck down as one of their listed 'Famous weegies'?, aw bugger...)

    Maybe he should also hae a go at Pterry for the feegles as well, eh?

    For the record, if it's not that obvious, I am a Scot. I have a number of German friends, hell, I have friends from all over this bloody dirtball, and the comedic 'tight-fisted Scot' is a global stereotype, I'll stress these two words again *global* and *comedic*..we use stereotypes to take the piss out of them (cf. Germans and lederhosen, French and surrender-minkys etc. etc.) they, in turn, take the piss out of us in a similar fashion.

    This guy being such an arse about something this trivial doesn't actually do anything to positively improve the image of Scots abroad, it just makes us look just that wee bit mair dour, and, just maybe, helps to reinforce the stereotype that he's complaining about, so could someone please go apply the cluestick to this eejit?

    Ach no, on second thoughts, just let him run wi' it. If he's happy faffing around with something this inane, its one less idiot pratting about with the economy..

  49. thomas k.
    Unhappy

    @AC 18:06

    I had a horrified feeling shortly after I posted that I'd mis-spelled meringue, thanks for pointing that out.

    Be that as it may, I just heard it for the 1st time yesterday and thought it was cute. I was going to tell it to the one Scot I know but you're saying I shouldn't bother?

    That probably goes for the one about the difference between Frank Sinatra and Walt Disney, too.

  50. Jason Togneri
    FAIL

    @ Throatwobbler Mangrove

    "“It doesn’t have to be this way. You wouldn’t do it with orthodox Jews, so why do it with Scots?""

    "Because, you numpty, Scots have never been killed in pogroms or holocausts sustained by vicious propaganda accusing them of being blood-sucking usurers, that's why."

    And you're a pillock who evidently knows nothing about Scottish history. The Jews aren't the only race who've been picked on, abused, trampled down, over-taxed, outright slaughtered, had their language and culture brutally repressed, and finally been shipped off by the thousands to America and Australia, you know.

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