back to article Watchdog bites Mattesons saucy sausage ad

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has rather churlishly ruled that four innuendo-packed radio ads for Mattesons smoked sausages "could cause harm to children". The first ad - broadcast on Forth One, Clyde Radio and Real Radio - promisingly began with a male voice saying "Mmm, Mattesons smoked pork sausage... " It …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    "However, although it was not sexually explicit, the innuendo was sufficiently strong to present a problem if it was heard by older children"

    So totally unlike a lot of rap songs then which apparently are perfectly acceptable to broadcast when children might be listening.

    What the hell is wrong with a bit of smutty innuendo?

    What we really need is a Sid James Icon

  2. Richard 81

    21 complaints?

    Pah. Also, do children even listen to the radio any more?

  3. 2FishInATank


    The victorian era called, they want their morality back.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Got to be said

    Mrs. Slocombe would give one to her pussy.

  5. Anonymous Coward

    ASA - ODFO!!!


    Seriously, WTF??? Could be a problem "if heard by older children"?? Most "older children" are more than passingly familiar with hardcore German porn FFS, I don't think a radio snippet of 'Carry On Stick Your Sausage In' is going to really corrupt them! Jesus wept, are these people on a diferent fucking planet to me? Have they not walked down a street and seen girls barely in puberty dressed up in Disney-inspired microskirts and crop-tops with a crowd of squawking morons surrounding them trying to cop a feel whilst they all yell about how wonderful blowjobs are?? I don't see how a relatively original radio ad is going to corrupt them!

    Argh. It's not even noon and I need a drink....!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    ...that's all

  7. Tim Brown 1
    Paris Hilton

    Job done for Mattesons

    1) Create suitably bordeline ad

    2) Get reported to the toothless watchdog that is the Advertising Standards Authority (having members of your Ad agency ring in to complain can help with this)

    3) Pull the ad anyway because you don't want to spend more money on it.

    4) Get lots of free coverage of the ASAs decision (whichever way it goes), in the tabloids.

    Paris just because.... oh you know the rest.

  8. The Dark Lord

    May I be the first to say...

    for fuck's sake. Our fucking taxes are getting wasted on this shit!

    A new phrase needs to be brought to bear on these complainants (which should also apply to Personal Injury blaggers): "Get a fucking grip you mithering wank-bag."

    Sorry, rather a lot of swearing in this post.

  9. Scott 19

    Get a Life

    Please parents Get A Life or even better yet enter your angle in a pagent where other parents are as blinkered as you are to your kids.

    And parents wonder why they have to stand outside court and defend there mass murdering children "But i didn't even let them listen to the radio when they where young, so i don't understand how they could do such things".

    Because we all know where inuedo on the radio can lead to.

  10. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Paris Hilton


    Was the music on the ad Mozart's "Magic Flute"?

    Paris, who also likes a big sausage

  11. Anonymous Coward

    Anyone remember Allo Allo?

    Suggestive innuendo too much for kids?!?! What on earth did these people watch as kids themselves.

    Lets protect the next generation so much they cant deal with the world at large.. Thats the governments new plan for continuing its own existence.

    Flames coz we're gonna have to burn it all soon just to start again.

  12. Stef 4

    What a carry on.

    It's only a shame Sid James wasn't doing the voice-overs.

  13. Richard 11


    That wasn't the most subtle innuendo I've ever 'come across'...

  14. Anonymous Coward

    stupid idiots!

    If the kids understand the innuendo, then this is the least of your worries. Birds, meet Bees

    Shhhhsss and we wonder why we have the highest teen pregnancy rates in europe....

  15. Andy 97


    What a great bit of extra free marketing for them....

    Hooray for the regulators.

  16. Sooty

    i take it

    the ASA don't watch a lot of childrens tv if they have a problem with a bit of innuendo. it might be different these days but it used to be nothing but, and the children were completely oblivious.

  17. kaiserb_uk

    Far worse (better)

    The 'Janet and John' stories on Wogan?

    Anyone remember the 'Fat Harry White' sketch from Mark and Lard?

    This country is built on innuendo and smutty subtext goddammit, I can't imagine who they're going to pull off next.

  18. Mike Richards Silver badge


    I don't think the printed transcripts come across as particularly smutty.

    Any chance that Lester and the lovely Moderatrix would be able to re-enact them for us in glorious MP3-ovision?

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I'm going to buy some Mattesons

    A little bit of smutty innuendo might set my wife thinking in the right way for a change

    Anon for obvious reasons

  20. Aortic Aneurysm

    Nothing worse than...

    Those god awful adverts for cider (i think - cant remember the brand, but if anyone has heard them, they will know what I mean).

    Irn bru has been doin the exact same for years and years, not exactly denting sales for them.

    1. think up suitable borderline advert

    2. make it 1960's smutty.

    3. broadcast it when children listen

    4. %$^$%^$%

    5. PROFIT !

  21. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    So if you were to roast this sausage...

    It'd be innuendo and out the other?

    Why thank you. How kind.

  22. RichyS
    Thumb Up


    I'll happily second the motion (ooh er) for a Sid James icon.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    So Mrs. Smegma's cat's got boils again

    ... because of all the smut and filth that's on the telly / radio / interwebs these days.

    When I was a lad we had this. Not only was it broadcast at times when children might be listening, it was AIMED at children.

    "If chocolate and nougat (Nugget!)

    make you smile

    Big One

    Sticks out a (BANG!) mile

    If you like your nougat (Nugget!)

    To last you a while

    Big One

    (BANG! BANG!)

    Sticks out a mile"

    And did we all grow up sniggering perverts? No. Not really.

    I guess the cat boil medicine you get these days just doesn't do the job like the old one used to.

  24. EdwardP


    I wonder how innuendo could possibly affect the kind of innocent children this was designed to save.

    The whole point of innuendo is you're not explicitly saying anything naughty, you're tricking the listener into making the connections themselves, connections that your cotton-wool encased kids couldn't possibly make with their tiny uncorrupted minds.

  25. Pete 43

    Carry on porking?

    I had swine flu but I'm feeling Perky now!

  26. LuMan


    I went into the pub for a double entendre once.

    The barmaid gave me one!

    ..Yeah, yeah. Don't get up. I'm off...

  27. Captain Hogwash Silver badge

    I don't remember all this fuss...

    when Julie Walters finished her ad for dishwasher or laundry products (can't remember which) with the words "eveybody loves a good boffin".

  28. Miek

    Anyone remember Allo Allo? >> Oh yes

    I remember 'Allo 'Allo, used to watch it when I was little; didn't do me any harm; I think

  29. Craig 12

    hurr durr

    While I'm usually against Political Correctness Gone Mad. this is a decent decision. The world is way too adultified for kids these days. Even the stuff suitable for kids isn't suitable for kids (I wouldn't take any kid to see transformers 2 for example).

    This isn't 'birds and bees' natural stuff... it's dirty talk to sell sausages of all things. Can't Mattesons just make a decent sausage (from local, organic meat perhaps rather than injected water and delicious sounding 'Non-UK Beef protein casings') and win over some customers via tasting good?

  30. Graham Marsden

    We need a "Won't Someone Think Of The Children!" icon...

    ... next to be banned: repeats of Carry-on films, saucy sea-side postcards, St Trinians films...

  31. Reverend Brown

    Two words.

    Namby pambies.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can't be nearly as bad

    as the Hillshire Farms "Go Meat" commercials. Saw one last night and it nearly put me off sausages entirely.....

  33. Tawakalna

    nudge nudge

    lawks only knows what these 21? was it? whining Mary Whitehouse* clones would make of eric idle's Breakaway adverts from the 1970s then. Hopefully have apoplexy and die.

    Sid James icon? good idea but really I think that we need a Frankie Howerd* "oo-err missus" icon!

    *for the benefit of colonials - Mary Whitehouse, a whinging complaining self-righteous old trout of a God-squadder who moaned about every bit of tit and bum on telly back in the day, thankfully long shuffled off this mortal coil, would probably have been elected President in the US of A for her moralistic puritanical interfering claptrap.

    *my comedy hero ever since he hilariously humiliated my mum in Blackpool in 1968!

  34. Richard 102


    I thought that was a term for Esperanto porn.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    Yes, a Sid James icon please.

  36. Anonymous Coward


    Infamy ! Infamy ! They've all got it in f'me.

  37. Smarty Pants


    WTF it could cause harm????

    only if I got irritated and threw the radio at em

  38. Pavlovs well trained dog

    oh lordy

    Roll on the TaliBrown and his New Religion of control.

    Oh so glad I moved out of the UK.

    We've got some good IT jobs going in Cape Town if anyone else wants to move here.

  39. mmiied


    the whole point of innuendo is it is invisible to the innocent in order to get innuendo you need to have some understanding of what it is talking about to begin with so nobody who is innocent will be offended and those offended will be victims of there own corruption

    on annother note did any of you watch animanics cartoons they where FULL of inuindo and they where amed at kids

    "HELLO NURSE!!!"

  40. Richard Porter

    Re: I had swine flu but I'm feeling Perky now

    Just as long as you're not feeling Pinky ...

  41. JohnG Silver badge

    "Roger that Fiona"

    Which Fiona was to be rogerred?

  42. Phu


    This attitude of not letting children hear swear words or sexual innuendos or see nude women has got to stop. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting we go around handing out porn mags to 5 year olds, but we do need to stop worrying about it.

    I'm 29. When I was 6 every kid in the playground had a full repertoire of swear words to hand. They were all familiar with fuck, shit, piss, bastard, etc, and they all used them frequently (and appropriately) when the teachers weren't around.

    Likewise, every kid has at some point seen their parents naked. They already know what a naked human being looks like. Keeping them from seeing nudity isn't going to prevent anything.

    Likewise, I think its extraordinarily insulting to children to everywhere to suggest even the youngest of kids would hear "where do you like to stick your saussage?" and immediately consider porking the nearest little girl.

    Adults everywhere need to learn what their kids are really like before wasting time on this nonsense.

    -- Richard

  43. Grease Monkey

    It's minority rule

    Why is it that the ASA continually pander to a tiny minority. 21 complaints? So IOW the vast majority of parents do not feel that these adverts could be in anyway harmful to their kids. The ASA need to be taken outside and shot, or failing that their powers need to be looked at very carefully. In particular the code needs to be rewritten so it is not open to "interpetation" (ie blatant misinterpretation) and they need to have their powers modified so that they can only apply the rules to the letter to block this "interpretation" nonsense.

    There have been plenty of cases where seriously misleading and offensive adverts have been allowed to run, but gods forbid that a little innuendo should slip out.

    Then there are the British Heart Foundation ads that the ASA have banned because some people found the fact that heart disease is serious quite distressing. Well of course they fucking do. That's the whole point. How are you going to get people to help your charity if your message is "Heart disease. It's a bit of a pisser."?* Which is about all the BHF have left to them after the ASA have blocked so many of their adverts.

    *Apologies to Peter Kay

  44. oldredlion

    Down with 'em!

    "...tell me where you like to stick it. ... Mmm, Mattesons smoked pork sausage. You want it."

    It's a pity they didn't use the same voice as the Cadbury's Caramel advert.

  45. Chika

    Missing the point

    It isn't the children that would be harmed by this. It's all those prudish shouty types who are too embarrassed to admit that they don't like innuendo or those that have worked out that the best way to stop stuff like this is to play the NSFC card.

  46. Anonymous Coward

    Innuendo ...

    Innuendo -- like youth -- is wasted on the young.

    Prudishness is in fact a mortal sin, is what these think-of-the-children, do-gooding, saddo's fail to understand.

    Modern life disgusts me.

  47. asiaseen

    The fallacy

    in all this "think of the children" nonsense is the idea that children are innocent.

  48. imposter


    Applying hammerhead to nail there. Well done. "Harm" is a strong term. A small child subjected to degrading porn might be harmed (and honestly, most porn is pretty degrading) but this is different. And rubbish.

    However the level of over protection from sexual anything we give children is awful. Studying shakespeare we never learnt the innuendo before A Level (english wasn't my subject I stopped after GCSE) and so as I later learnt, missed a very large chunk of the meaning of the plays out. Much ado about nothing? More like much ado about vagina (nothing being slang at the time... you get the idea). The fact we have rampant STDs and teen pregnancy is pretty much due to the lip service we give sex education because culturally it's bad to talk about. Most 16 year olds don't actually understand what genital warts or, or haven't been made to consider that the more you put it about the more likely something bad will happen. It's shameful. Compared to that sort of genuine harm, this pales into insignificance.

  49. Steve Foster

    In light of the original ad...

    ...I think we should all tell Matthesons to stick their sausage up the ASA!

  50. Donn Bly

    Just another group trying to self-justify their position without thinking first

    The only way anyone could be "harmed" by this is if they are already corrupted with worldly knowledge**, and if they have enough worldly knowledge to take this as anything other than innocent, then the corruption has already taken place and these ads cause no further damage.

    As such, the idea that the ads "harm" children is utterly ridiculous and false.

    ** Heaven forbid that we actually allow our children to KNOW anything. Next these "Think of the children" types will be claiming that knowledge of biology, even amongst "older children" is harmful because they might get exposed to knowledge of how the natural reproductive cycles work.


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