back to article Taiwanese rat snake bites Taiwanese trouser snake

A Taiwanese man is recovering in hospital after a snake sank its fangs into his todger as he sat down on the toilet at his rural home, Reuters reports. The unnamed 51-year-old Nantou County victim suffered "minor injuries" to his wedding tackle during the attack. The China Times explains: "As soon as he sat down, he suddenly …

COMMENTS

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  1. Sabine Miehlbradt

    Spammer

    So - when will we get spam selling these snakes?

    Talk about an extension.

  2. Michael Walsh
    Coat

    Oh Really??

    After all your references to trouser snakes? I'd be banned if I.... No I can't do it... somethings are just going too far, however I know there is an equally bad pun out there. And I'll be back later today...

  3. Edward Miles
    Joke

    I've heard of Penis enlargement pills...

    ...but this is just ridiculous! :P

  4. Paul Murphy
    Paris Hilton

    I for one...

    Do NOT welcome our todger-cobra overlords.

    Ouch ouch ouchie ouch.

    No PH for him then!.

    ttfn

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    What I want to know is...

    Has he given his pet snake a name?

    I'll get my snakeskin coat now.....

  6. Geoff Campbell
    Paris Hilton

    Attach your own punchline here.

    Paris, to give you a start on that punchline.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Does...

    his wife want him home before the swelling goes down?

  8. WinHatter
    Coat

    he saw the big snake

    yeah but how large and poisonous was the serpent ???

    /sssssssss

  9. Richard
    Joke

    Sitting down to pee

    Men have this wonderful ability to pee standing up. Surely if he was standing up he would have seen the offending creature and given it a golden shower from a distance.

    If this plonker went girly style then he gets everything thats coming to him

  10. Random Glitch
    Joke

    Please Doc..

    At hospital he asked the doc "Can you take the pain away, but leave the swelling?"

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Good job its not poisonous...

    ...Otherwise he'd need someone to suck the poison out....

  12. WinHatter
    Coat

    sorry !!!

    please don't ban me ;o)

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Low Hanging Fruit

    Well it could have been worse.

    Paris because she's probably still trying to work out the IT angle to this report.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    So the net result...

    ... is he was almost neutered?

  15. Ian
    Thumb Down

    51 years old...

    ... and it still sounds like he's getting more action than me.

  16. Ray
    Pirate

    bite by a rat snake from taiwan

    fortunately, not the same as a bite from a rat monkey from sumatra.

    one ends up in hospital, the other ends up in a lawnmower.

    it's life.

  17. james
    Paris Hilton

    men in rubber suits...

    reminds me of all those old japanese 'creature feature' movies

    "trouser snake Vs toilet snake - in a thrilling battle to the death...guest starring godzilla and mothra"

    wheres the icon for 'geeky old git'?

    paris - cause she knows how to nibble on a trouser snake (assuming veracity of certain videos)

  18. Les Matthew

    Re: Sitting down to pee

    It's no good standing on the seat

    the snakes in here can jump ten feet.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Women

    Women scream when they see snakes...although they don't have todgers to bite!

    Lucky girls.

    They also scream when in combat with a fairly larged veteran fighting snake of the one-eyed variety... and let's face it, those are more common in the UK than rat snakes!

  20. Alasdair S
    Coat

    @Richard

    perhaps he had to do more than "siphon the python"

    ok, ok I'm going!

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Striking from an upreared position

    So that's why he didn't see it coming ...

  22. Liam Johnson

    A snake's mouth isn't always clean

    Especially after drinking water from a rural Taiwanese toilet.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Re: Sitting down to pee

    From somewhere around Pakistan eastwards the do it sitting down. Nearly all of East Asia in fact.

  24. Paul Mitchell
    Thumb Up

    @Richard

    Perhaps he wasn't sitting down to pee. Perhaps he was sitting down to do a Richard.

  25. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Women

    Imagine not wanting to post a witty comment like that under your real name. I'd want to take credit for it, personally.

    Women scream when they see snakes, eh? Well, a muscle-bound alpha chap I used to know would scream when he saw a butterfly. So think on.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    @ Sitting down to pee

    First, the sitting down is actually the more hygienic way to pee in a toilet, but putting pedantry aside - did he remove the snake before or after doing the business?

    Just curious if that snake was taking the p*ss..

    The lab coat, thanks..

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Its good to see

    El Reg's commentards maintaining their usual low standards.

  28. Michael Walsh
    Alert

    Told You So

    I knew you brilliant folks on the other side of the pond wouldn't let me down!

    Classic comments all... does Sarah need a new keyboard, or have you become immune?

  29. Michael
    Happy

    "The unnamed 51-year-old"

    Pierce??

  30. Chris Simmons

    My Uncle

    (No seriously)

    He and his wife are missionaries in Africa. One place they stayed had only an outside privvy; one night Andrew needed a pee, grabbed his torch (oh you smutty bastards) and went outside into the loo.

    With torch under armpit (pointing down) he reached for the lid to see a black mamba curled around the porcelain - they want me to visit tem sometime; no fucking way Ike, seriously.

  31. Harrison Grundy
    Joke

    "'knife-like' todger pain"

    May these words never darken my door again. Further descriptions of "'knife-like' todger pain" shall result in my withdrawl from your newsletter and/or mailing list. Todger pain is nothing to joke about!

  32. A J Stiles
    Paris Hilton

    Lester Haines - Todger correspondent

    Is Lester Haines's official job title "todger correspondent" ?

  33. Bad Beaver
    IT Angle

    The Glory of Globalization...

    ... is in the constant flow of terror-tales from rural Asia. Unhappy with your insignificant worker bee existence in the first world? Fret not. Thanks To The Internet you know that in rural Asia, people are so poor they have to use their own dicks as bait to catch their dinner-snakes. You sure remember the rat problem in rural Asia that resulted from people snacking away all the snakes, too. That's the people wo were not killed in the latest bee-transport vs. rural road disaster. So cheer up, shut up and get back to work, before YOU get outsourced to rural Asia too.

  34. James O'Brien
    Happy

    Another classic from Lester

    "*We resisted it, and so can you. The first person to make the "When he looked down, he saw the big snake... and then he saw the reptile too" gag will be banned from El Reg for a month."

    So does he need to coil the snake up before zipping?

    /Oh PLEASE DO BAN ME for a month :) After that comment I deserve it

    @Michael Walsh

    "Classic comments all... does Sarah need a new keyboard, or have you become immune?"

    You mean you dont know? She floats like a butterfly stings like a bee? Why else would this big burly guy she knows scream when he sees her coming?

    /Im dead for this arnt I?

  35. Andus McCoatover
    Coat

    Once again..

    Doc, please take away the pain, but leave the swelling....

    OK, back in a month....

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    laugh if you must

    Ok it is a big joke.

    But, I for one have had a similar experience in recent years.

    In the middle of the night, I make my way to the privy, keeping out the lights to avoid completely waking up and have a seat. After a short while I experience pain not in the snake but the nearby rocks. I too jump to attention and flip on the lights. (Something about that experience.)

    Not a snake but the john is crawling with ants. The biting kind apparently.

    So the next time you back in just remember that not all may be as it was the day before.

  37. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  38. Nigee

    "Upreared"

    was the snake grabbing something to pull itself out by?

  39. Phil Arundell
    Coat

    Sex Offender?

    So, does he become a sex offender now that he partook in bestiality and got oral sex from a snake?

  40. Montague Knightley
    Thumb Down

    what exactly threatened the snake..

    sibling rivalry.. ?

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