back to article ASBO woman cuffed over raucous rumpy-pumpy

A Tyne and Wear woman was yesterday remanded in custody for allegedly breaking an ASBO which required her not to annoy the neighbours by indulging in vociferous romps with her husband, the Telegraph reports. Caroline Cartwright, 48, of Washington, was hauled before magistrates on 17 April for five breaches of an previous noise …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
IT Angle

I'm not sure comments are really necessary

Apparently she's well able to make herself heard.

0
0
Thumb Up

Where's the beef?

If I were a neighbor, I wouldn't complain--I'd come over and try to make it a threesome!

0
0

hmmmm

obviously the neighbours are frustrated because they aren't getting any....

there, somebody said it, now we can move on! :D

0
0
Paris Hilton

Errrm...

Shouldn't hubby also be charged as an "accessory"?

PH 'cause she makes all the noise she wants.

0
0
Jon

gagging order

Judging by other articles on this site I'm sure theres someone that can recommend a good ball gag.

0
0
Paris Hilton

Yes, yes!

Do I detect a whiff of jealousy? As Woody Allen pointed out, sex is only dirty if it's done right...

Paris, obviously.

0
0

ASBOs?

So I can get my flatmate and his girlfriend, the dog of the neighbour upstairs, and downstairs baby all asbo'd up? AWESOME :)

0
0
mh.
Coat

Presumably...

...the police told her to come quietly when she was arrested.

0
0

@Where's the beef

Not if you'd seen the picture accompanying the BBC article you wouldn't

0
0

@ 2nd AC

She's 48 remember. Are you sure you want to stand by that statement, having not seen a picture of the accused?

0
0
Coat

Ball Gag (n/t)

Mine's the leather one, with the handcuffs...

0
0
Happy

ooh err

Slapped with an ASBO ? It's kinky stuff alright !

0
0

@AC 14:32

you clearly havent seen her picture in the paper then.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: Where's the beef?

"If I were a neighbor, I wouldn't complain--I'd come over and try to make it a threesome!"

No you wouldn't - you read the register. You'd continue masturbating and playing WOW.

0
0
IT Angle

My ex - neighbour

... used to be a bit on the loud side. She kept the bedroom windows open, and on a Sunday morning, people walking their dogs would stop to allow their pets to take a widdle and listen to the various moans and groans. I did suggest that I should keep some scoreboards to hand out so that they could indicate what they thought on a scale of 1 to 10.

The funny thing is that when I moved, I rented the house out to a young lady. She has her boyfriend over occasionally (OK a bit more often that that) and when I bumped into my ex-neighbour, she was complaining about the noise my tenant makes with her boyfriend!

Meanwhile, the best that I can do is play my old Donna Summer records ("On the Radio" extended mix) - and I'm betting that half of the el Reg readers haven't a clue what I mean by that! Damn I'm old.

1
0
Thumb Up

Re: Where's the beef?

Better still, record all the noises and let the world listen to them via an 0898 number.

.... at least that might pay for a hotel room to get a good nights quiet sleep.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

o look

O look now they're telling you what you can do in your own bedroom.

0
0

This post has been deleted by its author

Stop

Come again?

Where's google streetsound when you need it?

0
0
Thumb Down

Re. Where's the beef

You sure about that?

http://tinyurl.com/dewlvu

0
0
Happy

@ mh

You owe me a new Keyboard and monitor!

0
0
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

I've seen the pic

I've seen worse. Hubby Steve might be a bit of a problem. Easily solved: invite Wacki Jacki over and make it a foursome. Wacki Jacki's hubby could save the cost of some pay-per-view tv...

Paris 'cause she needs some pointers and Caroline could show her how it's done.

0
0
Coat

@David

Hubby's a real gem, as well.

Looks like a class act, to me.

What's the problem?

0
0
Coat

Re. Where's the beef

Looking at the pic - are they sure it wasn't the husband screaming?

0
0
Coat

Marathon sex sessions....

"Screams: Caroline Cartwright and husband Steve's loud, marathon sex sessions kept their partially deaf neighbour Margery Ball awake at night for two years"

2 YEARS?!?!?!!!!?!!?!?! I can barely make 20mins!! including the pizza and WOW

0
0
Joke

Dame

@david re "You sure about that?" well obvioulsy she'd have to shave that beard off....

0
0
Silver badge

Remanded?

The only reasons to remand someone are if they:

1. Might abscond - no evidence of that here

2. Might interfere with a witness - doesn't seem likely

3. Need to be protected - nope

4. Might reoffend

So it would seem she's been remanded to prevent her from having sex again. Which would seem to be somewhat excessive abuse of judicial power in contravention of Article 6 of European Declaration on Human Rights.

0
0
Coat

Orgasmic!

I've been waiting for just the right moment to rate a story as Orgasmic...

...I'll get my coat.

0
0
Thumb Down

Exactly what jail's for :/

Wouldn't it be cheaper to soundproof their house?

0
0
Flame

Apparently...

When the defendant was asked how she pleaded she replied: "Ooooh aahh, just there, just there, oh yes, oh yeees, ooooooooooooooooooooorrgh".

The flames of passion.

0
0
IT Angle

now i hate to be the one to say this

but where the hell is the IT angle ..

I do enjoy the odd random story to make me chuckle but lately this is becoming more a tabloid than a tech news site

Please im not asking for all the stories to be only 100% techie but please cut down a bit on the sun stories

0
0
Silver badge

@Tony

"Meanwhile, the best that I can do is play my old Donna Summer records ("On the Radio" extended mix) - and I'm betting that half of the el Reg readers haven't a clue what I mean by that! Damn I'm old."

Disco still sucks ... but thanks for the reminder. Not.

0
1
Thumb Up

Scoff all you like

but I doubt many of you will be at it like ferrets with your wives at 48. :P

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Brilliant

"...the police told her to come quietly when she was arrested."

mh... that is the funniest thing I ever read on the Reg.

0
0
Thumb Up

Been Done Before

"It's come to a funny state of affairs when a woman can't have a bit of rumpo in the privacy of her own bedroom."

"It's having it in your back garden that people are objecting to."

"We done it in the shed!"

"The shed collapsed! In fact sheds collapsed like dominoes all along Divinity Road. Mister Jones from number 36 phoned us - he claimed his compost heap was bouncing round the lawn."

"Look, Sergeant, you're a woman. You know about a woman's needs. When a woman needs love she's got to have it. Otherwise she's just a dried-up old prune."

"It doesn't strike me that banging away in the potting shed screaming 'do it to me big boy' at the top of your voice has much to do with love."

"Well I love it."

"I love sucking the middle bits out of Walnut Whips, but that doesn't mean I have the right to make everyone else listen to me do it!"

- The Thin Blue Line; "Night Shift"

0
0
IT Angle

What?

Jesus, this place is turning into the bloody "Sun". At least I'm not paying for it.

0
0
Coat

@ Where's the beef?

Looks like her "beef curtains" have been well and truly pulled back. Camel toe it aint!

Gotta love the bare walls and plastic "bedside cabinets". What a boudoir...

Treble bagger if you ask me! One each, and one by the door for when plod next come a calling.

What's this stuff on my coat?

0
0
Happy

@Jon

You called?

http://www.affordable-leather.co.uk :-)

0
0
Silver badge

@Adam

Personally I think it's 2 - interfering with a witness, namely tramp stamped fuckstick husband Steve.

0
0
Joke

@ Graham Marsden

Holy shit, I was expecting comfy chairs.

No no, not the comfy chair!

0
0
Heart

WTF??

So gov.uk has now outlawed the 'audible orgasm' or bed-heads that bang?

I'm off for a quick tamper. I'll try not to rustle the pages of The Sun too much...

0
0
Paris Hilton

its not just a ball gag

its an S&M ball gag :D

0
0
Alert

Perhaps I've just been unlucky, but...

Don't all 'women of a certain age' make loud moaning sounds?

0
0
Anonymous Coward

I find it abhorrent...

...that someone can be jailed for doing something that is not unlawful, simply because a court has imposed an ASBO.

If noisy sex is such a problem, then it should be made illegal in it's own right. The ASBO system needs to go. It is an effective way for the powers that be to crinimalise those who have not broken any real law, and allows the judiciary to impose arbitrary laws on people.

0
0
Go

Anyone Seen "Porky's"

Does she howl?

0
0

The start of a new craze?

"It was recently reported that young people in Britain consider having an ASBO – an anti-social behaviour order – to be a ‘badge of honour’. These arbitrary rulings against youths are now seen as ‘glamorous must-haves’

...

The IPPR is concerned that youngsters learn too much from one another instead of from adults. "

http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php?/site/article/2077/

0
0

Hmmm

Well I have had relationships with a couple of what can be called, in today's PC parlance, Louder Ladies (or Expressive Ladies) in my time I seem to find that it does not seem to be something they can help.....what exactly are they suposed to do? Shag in a soundproofed basement?

Are they planning to make sex illegal now? sheesh!

0
0
This topic is closed for new posts.

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017