back to article Profs: Sex with oldies or youngsters will give you the clap

In a finding sure to send ripples of fear through the showbiz world, profs in Florida have disclosed that having sex with people who are much older or younger than you increases your chances of catching a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD). “Partner selection is an area of STD prevention that could complement what we are …

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  1. Richard Rae
    Joke

    Well there goes....

    .... the favourite UK game of pull a granny!!!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    WHAT!!!!!

    What the phuque are these guys on? How the hell can a >5 year age difference increase the likelihood of having an STD?

    They pay these idiots?

    Sheesh!!!!

  3. Rob
    Paris Hilton

    age differences?

    and there was me thinking that the only way to catch an std was to shag someone else who had one.

    so presumably any couple with a 5+ year gap between them can now spontaneously generate an std?

    i'd heard you can catch thrush from differences in yeast, pH, or something, but this one seems a whole step further on.

    Paris, of course..

  4. Dave
    Heart

    "the DDI endowed professor"

    Oh, where do I start with that !!

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Confuising correlation and causation

    Usual rubbish of somebody confusing correlation with causation. The correlation of increased incidents of sexually transmitted diseases with age difference is quite probably simply because at least one of the partners, and possibly both, are just rather less discriminating than average.

  6. Mycho Silver badge

    Explanation

    A significant minority of people doing it with people outside their age range are doing so because one or both of them are drunk. Drunk people are more likely to mishandle a condom.

    Any others?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    It hurts to pee!

    Always wondered why they called it "the clap" anyway... Anyone?

  8. M7S
    Stop

    DDI Endowed Professor?

    So no phone sex either then?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    Bloody Hell!

    Is this incontrovertible proof that Neisseria gonorrhoeae and its buddies can do maths?

    Be prepared to bow down to your new microbial overlords.

  10. Simon B
    Flame

    Sounds bollox to me

    Utter bollox

  11. Britt Johnston
    Go

    chinese astronomy vindicated, hollywood unclear

    This roughly confirms one application of the 12 year cycles built into chinese horoscopes, where 6 year's difference between relationships is worst, but 4 and 8 and 12 are okay.

    Regarding Hollywood, this may be an interesting special case requiring further study, by intrepid students with thick skins and zoom lenses.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    I am so totally willing

    to have sex with someone more than 5 years younger than me, in the interests of furthering research. How can I sign up?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And the mechanism would be...?

    So if A, a 20-year-old, consorts with X, a 60-year-old, each of them is more likely to get STD from the other?

    But if the same A disports with B, who is also 20, neither of them is at risk. Likewise if X makes out with Y, another 60-year old.

    This could set the science of medicine back 1000 years. Unbalanced humours, anyone?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Phew

    Mrs AC and I are separated by 4 years and 8 months. That's a close call. another four months difference in age and I'd get a dose for sure. Or she would.

    Frikkin idiots. The way to get an STI is to have unprotected sex with someone that's already got one.

    Paris, well I wouldn't now. She's more than 5 years younger than me. Who knows what I'd catch.

  15. Graeme Hayes
    Jobs Horns

    Having VD Is Nothing To Clap About

    Round of applause for the bloke who found this out. I's assuming that extensive field tests were undertaken? I'd have volunteered if asked..... I'm eight years older than my wife, so my question is...Who actually gets the clap? Is it me as the older partner or her as the younger member of the team. My vote is that the newbie gets it !!

  16. James Pickett
    Paris Hilton

    Experts

    And what would a university professor know about sex? They're just jealous...

    Paris, because she's far more authoritative.

  17. Graham Marsden
    Paris Hilton

    Err...

    ... so having unprotected sex with someone (of whatever age) is *less* risky than shagging someone outside your age group...?

    Paris, because... oh figure it out!

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Christian research?

    I suppose what they're really saying is that it's good and healthy to meet someone your own age and marry them for life, whereas it's unnatural and disgusting to sleep with people much older or younger than you - which makes you a slut.

    And if you're a slut, you must be sleeping with loads of people, therefore you're far more likely to have picked up the clap. All of which means that any young oik who's into grannies, or a Marianne Faithfull type character is an unclean sinner from whom you'll almost certainly catch sommat from.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    @AC #1 and Rob #2:

    I think it's just a long-winded way of saying "Young people don't know as much as older people, not having been around as long, and haven't learned as much about risk-taking and self-control." Or "plain old-fashioned common-sense", as it used to be known.

    As to the granny-pulling, well, what do you expect? Alzheimers' makes it terribly hard to remember contraception as well as everything else...

  20. Stephen
    Coat

    Risk

    The risk is you never know what a person's sexual history is regardless of age. Pants come off protection goes on, simple as that. I don't think the age of the people involved will minimise the risks much when your already taking such a massive gamble without protection anyway.

    As for age gaps, I have seen plenty of them around these days.

    Get my coat the one with the condoms in the pocket.

  21. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Sheesh!!! Guess my MILF banging days are over...

    Ahem!!!!

  22. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Another "well, duh!" report

    If there's a big age difference, isn't it likely that it's a casual encounter rather than a soulmate-for-life one? And don't we already know that casual sex is more risky in all sorts of ways?

    What next for our intrepid prof, the discovery that you're more likely to get pregnant during sex if you're female?

    I would ask about the IT angle, but that would only prompt vulgar jokes about it's angle, not to mention trajectories...

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Because monogomy is too hard

    ???

    Paris, "is that a kind of wood?"

  24. /dev/me
    Joke

    You know you have nothing to worry about when...

    Running Linux prevents catching virii in general and STD's in particular, so there!

    oh wait :s

  25. N Silver badge

    @AC

    comes from French word - clapoir

  26. Michael

    Read the abstract

    "STD diagnosis were assessed among 15 to 24-year-old STD clinic attendees "

    So, basically, you're more likely to catch an STD if you're fucking kids.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Sarah?

    Where are you in our dark time of need? The Idiots are taking over :-O

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    dope smokers?

    have the clap? or generate it?

    How misleading is that...

  29. Dave Harris
    Thumb Up

    No correlation/causation problems there

    It seems that they're saying that couples who have an age gap of 5+ years between them aren't necessarily too choosy, and being choosy (as well as careful, wellies-for-willes-wise) is a good inhibitor of STDs.

    Works for me

  30. Tim Brown
    Alert

    Speaking from experience?

    '“It’s all about the risk of the partner and sometimes we forget that,” commented Richard A Crosby.'

    Is it possible that the good professor may have had to visit the clinic himself on more than one occasion?

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Especially true...

    ...If one of 'em's 13.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bad Science

    anyone notice the new religious zealots all claim to be into science for their explanation. And we get the oddest type of morality being shoe horned in on dodgy data, and spurious assumptions.

    Oh they need to give it up, they feel something and then just make up things to fit in with their world view. And it is akin to saying STDs are a punishment by Science the new God, bollocks, STDs are more likely to happen the more sexual partners you have. If you are dope smoking monk then your chance of STD is pretty small, unless you do blow backs.

  33. Dave Murray
    Stop

    So...

    who will get the STD... me or my gf who is 7 years younger than me?

    What if neither of us has ever had an STD and we've been together for years? And, we both tick 2 of their 3 warning signs? This research sounds like a load of balls to me.

  34. J
    Linux

    @WHAT!!!!!

    The idiot here is you, apparently, so I hope nobody is paying you.

    They *already* found (if the study's conclusions are right) that the age difference is correlated with higher risk. The "how" is a different question, of course, and some of the suggestions in comments above are plausible -- which does not mean they are true. I for one am curious to know why that correlation exists. So I guess they can write a new grant proposal to get some more money and go find it out. :-)

    I don't think penguins can clap.

  35. Steve Browne
    Heart

    Oh dear

    My partner is 26 years younger than me, should I be concerned? or just happy?

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Damn...

    Damn, thats why I havent been getting laid for ages, Im a dope smoking, alcoholic, fat anti social person.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Huh ?

    I've been married for 30 years, whats this 'sex' thing you all keep talking about ?

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Academics

    “Partner selection is an area of STD prevention that could complement what we are already doing with promoting condom use, and could possibly really help people. If somehow we could convince individuals to incorporate this information in a meaningful way into their decision-making, then we could reduce STDs.”

    Bloody academic, obviously being paid by the word.

    As I recall, half your age plus 5 years is the socially accepted lower age limit to avoid dirty-old-man-hood. In my case that's a good deal more than 5 years difference. But although I have on occasions pushed close to the limit, I haven't experienced any pathological consequences.

  39. Matthew
    Thumb Down

    wow...

    Some bright sparks working there.. How could age make any difference. Geez

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Correlation != Causation

    "If somehow we could convince individuals to incorporate this information in a meaningful way into their decision-making, then we could reduce STDs.”

    Nononononononononononono!

    As someone has already pointed out correlation is not the same as causation!

    It may be observed in hindsight that people who have sex with others +/- 5 years their own age get the clap more often. However, I'm pretty certain that if a drunk person in a club has to choose between one of two people, one their age or one much older then all else being equal the chances of picking up an STI is the same whichever one looks better with your beer goggles on.

  41. wildmonkeyuk
    Joke

    What the....

    What a load of codswallopsarsey crap.

    My Missus is 6 years old than me and *scratches* I haven't got a dose of *scratches* anything, I've just got sensitive scrotum due to the change in washing powder.

    /goat - as I'm hungry and will eat anything atm

  42. Peter Kay

    Sleeping with older partners isn't safer..

    They might have, on average, a better record of having safe sex but one of the growth areas for STIs is in fact : 45+. Newly divorced, shagging around and thinking it's safe because they've been made infertile. At that age, or older, practically everyone has herpes (oh, sorry, it's not herpes when it's a 'cold sore' you got once on your mouth, is it?).

    There are, sadly, also sometimes specific communities where sleeping with older people has a significantly higher risk of contracting various STIs.

    Given that people, for the most part, stick to partners within a reasonably narrowly defined age range it's not that unreasonable to suggest that straying outside that range exposes you to a different risk profile. That does, however equate to catching different STIs - not an increased risk.

    To say that a greater than five year difference automatically provides a greater risk is obviously bollocks, although I do like one of the commenter's theories that the people who routinely have sex outside that age range tend to follow a higher risk lifestyle.

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Hooray!

    I've got the clap - does that mean I get to sleep with lots of young women now?

  44. Sceptical Bastard
    Stop

    Hang on a minute, commentards

    It's very easy - if you have no knowledge of a subject - to rubbish research. Especially when you haven't read the report itself (as opposed to a brief synopsis in a news item).

    I think the article would've been much more interesting if it had given more details of the evidence and - crucially - if it had provided an explanation of the link between age-difference and STD transmission.

  45. Eddie Edwards
    Thumb Up

    @ Sceptical Bastard

    Your scepticism is perhaps directed at the wrong group.

    This is another in a long line of "scientific" studies based on statistical analysis of an dataset that is a priori biased (it only includes people who visited STD clinics).

    This is a simple clear-cut case of bad statistical practice, dressed up as science. You don't need to read the paper to surmise this. Doing so would be a waste of time. You may as well read the Timecube site - at least it's entertaining.

    Even if the dataset were not wholly biased, correlation within this dataset *still* does not provide *any* evidence of causation. There are these things called "hidden variables". The obvious candidate here is "riskiness of lifestyle", which correlates with *all* the specific "causes" that are mentioned.

    It is easy to rubbish research which has no scientific value whatsoever, and that's what people here are doing.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Hurrah! I win

    I just lie about my age from now on and the clap won't get me.

    Do you still get the clap automagically if you lie about your age? What if you __both__ lie and say that you were both born on the same day? Also, not that I want to find out but how do people get the clap in prison? I mean, uh, no women... in there.

    Also, also, how does this apply to work? If I work with someone that's older than me will I start itching?

    That Professor must have had a really hrd job. Talking to those older/younger/drunk people...

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    my 2 cents as to how...

    Older people 'desperate' for sex with younger people will likely lower their standards if the allure is strong enough. Possibly many of these 'relationships' are one-nighters with little known about the others' background. Same goes for the youngish that are most willing to have sex with significantly older--they are more willing to have sex in general and are likely to have a wider range of partners, and no doubt not as many qualms about much of it being unprotected sex. More sex+unprotected sex+unknown sexual history=VD

  48. Wize
    Coat

    @David Wiernicki

    If one of them is 13, doesn't that mean there is less chance?

    Mine's the one with the puppies in the pocket.

  49. Francis Offord
    Stop

    S.T.Ds?

    Somebody had to do it and it seems that "you" have fallen for it, it being the mythology regarding differing ages in sexual matters. What you have stated is "a cargo of redundant shoemakers". The only route by which you can attract an STD is by sexual contact with an infected person. Not from lavatory seats, infected cigarette stubs or any other mythological method. I suppose that you could get "Galloping Dandruff" from close embraces with the opposite (or same) sex without the organs meeting but I doubt it. Go back and complete your research before jumping into print again. You never know, IT COULD BE FUN.

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