back to article Bondage bonzer for bonding, beam boffins

Couples who spank together stay together - such is the conclusion of two separate pieces of research, reported in the latest edition of New Scientist. According to the report, Brad Sagarin of Northern Illinois University in DeKalb attended an S&M party in Arizona, where he and his colleagues measured levels of the stress …

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  1. Les Matthew
    Thumb Up

    "The bottom line being"

    Haha, I'm sure we're going to see a welter of bad puns on this one.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    It doesn't *have* to be, no

    "It doesn't have to be tying up your partner or placing clamps on their nipples, it could be something as simple as cooking a meal together or even doing the housework as a duo."

    No, but it's a damn site more fun than cooking.

  3. jake Silver badge

    Not my cuppa[1], but ...

    Maybe someone should suggest it to Jacqui Smith & hubby?

    Might open her eyes, in more ways than one ;-)

    [1] I was in college once. I did ... fings ... ::titter::[2]

    [2] I've been avoiding that for days. Sue me.

  4. Sampler

    Happy 1st of April everyone

    :D

  5. umacf24

    Why isn't this the April fool story?

    Not fair.

  6. Evil Graham

    Smiling spankers & perky possums?

    That's the next few names of Ubuntu releases sorted then.

  7. Alistair
    Stop

    In other news from New Scientist

    The Newsci hacks can in fact reveal that bears defecate in the woods and that the pontiff is catholic.

    Its true because they read it in someone else's report on an internet forum that quoted someone's press release. Allegedly.

  8. NB

    This has

    got to be an april fools....

  9. Steve

    University of Herts?

    Tell me their founder is the Marquis de Sade, right?

  10. John Ozimek
    Paris Hilton

    Not an April Fool

    Sorry folks, but....unless we have truly truly been double bluffed (and I spoke to the NS editorial team before going with this) it is genuine:

    http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20127014.300-spanking-brings-couples-together.html

    and

    http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16875-extinct-possum-back-from-the-dead.html

    Prof Wiseman has indeed written on Quirkology.

    The good Italian prof looks in far better shape than someone of her years ought to (I speak from experience):

    http://www.donatellamarazziti.com/

    Whereas Prof Sagarin looks a tad scary:

    http://www.niu.edu/psyc/faculty/sagarin.shtml

    Oh. If there is a NS spoof for today, it might just be this one:

    http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16877-scientist-spends-four-years-studying-navel-fluff.html

    A Viennese scientist who has spent four years studying navel fluff. DO we believe this or don't we?

    Paris, cause even she wouldn't fall for that

  11. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Oh Jacqui

    Time to get to couples' therapy.

  12. Graham Marsden

    Not an April Fools...

    ... simply because anyone who's been in the BDSM scene for any length of time will know that the vast majority of those who participate in this lifestyle have a much more relaxed attitude to the nature of relationships, based on the idea of mutual respect and consent. They are also used to *talking* about problems, whether it's something that happened in a play session or elsewhere in the relationship.

    The rest of the world could learn a lot from this if they weren't so hung up on the idea of "Ugh! BDSM I don't do that perverted stuff!"

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    poor possums

    getting coat, going to hang out with them

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Heh, NOT an April Fools gag

    as they had it in the print edition (remember them?) last week, NS being published on Thursdays

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Combining housework and BDSM

    > At time of writing, we have been unable to clarify the effects of combining sado-masochistic activity with housework.

    The result is what you'd expect - you get ironed tea-towels and pillow-cases.

  16. Chris C

    Makes sense to me

    At first thought, it might seem strange or even contradictory that engaging in S&M activities would bring a couple closer together. However, the more you think about it, the more you realize it's the logical conclusion. Simply put, when you become submissive and effectively give yourself to someone to do with as they please, you're doing so because you trust them completely. I'm sure there are instances where that's not true, but I would guess that it is true in most cases. That trust, and the reinforcement of that trust through such activities, will inevitably bring a couple closer together.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "it could be something as simple as... ...doing the housework as a duo."

    You bastards! Have you no sense of decency? My wife could have seen that!

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    So, lessee . . .

    Couples who enjoy doing the same thing feel good when they do the same thing together. If what they enjoy doing together is, OH MY GOD - S&M - HA! HA! (titter) it sells more copies of the rag.

    That sum it up?

    Paris: I'd spank her anytime

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