back to article BOFH: Aspie no questions

"It's... it's destroyed!" the Boss sniffles as he tilts the remains of his home computer up for me to see. "True, but then he was just doing what you told him to do." "It told him to go ahead and start the machine up if he thought it was fixed!" "No, you said, 'OK, give it a bash' - a completely different thing altogether …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    4 weeks!?

    Is not four weeks a bit long to write down another episode ?

    The author can be lucky that most readers can not reach him with a CP.

  2. Bruno Girin
    Thumb Up


    BOFH is back! Great start to Friday afternoon!

  3. Psmiffy
    Thumb Up


    The BOFH is back!!!

    I was desperatly waiting for it .. almost all year so far.

    If Simon wants to get back on quote, he may have to pull out some midweek episodes ...

    Thanks Simon, they are always great!

  4. Dave Ross


    pyromania, that other terrible condition that many IT people suffer from :)

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    So, probably I have the Aspergers syndrome as well, as I work in IT and repetitivly check the register for new articles particular in the odds(/bofh) section ...

  6. Joskyn Jones
    Thumb Up

    Love the subject matter....

    Read and weep Gary.....!

  7. Dave Silver badge

    worth the wait....

    ...but why such long gaps between episodes these days?

  8. MarkP


    Long time coming but oh so worth it!

    Thanks BOFH

  9. Tim Schomer
    Thumb Up

    How True...

    "And reading between the lines you're suggesting that working in IT makes you a spiteful vindictive bastard with borderline Aspergers?"

    Sums up my experiences woking in IT pretty well, wonder if anyone's ever done a real study into the subject?

  10. Mark Lockwood Silver badge
    IT Angle


    It's nice to have a name to this horrible affliction

  11. Anonymous Coward

    new BOFH

    Has it realy been a month since the last one? will it be a month to the next one?

  12. D. M

    Good one

    What if they have to deal with CICS? That would be an idea. *kick* the boss.

  13. Chika

    I really missed this...

    I might even use some of the suggestions for my job eval!...

  14. Evil Auditor Silver badge


    There's an IT company around here which recruites particularly aspies (and gifted). Must be fun to do project with them. At least, you'll want to be very clear about the specifications; which is a good thing anyway.


  15. Duckorange

    Thank you for the diagnosis

    I knew there had to be an explanation for all those users I killed.

    Said too much...

  16. Lee

    Thank you

    I needed a good laugh and as always BOFH came through

  17. CockKnocker


    I always wanted tourettes because of the fun you can have, now im thinking about swapping that for Aspergers tho ;)

  18. Bill Cumming
    IT Angle

    Classic Great!!

    "And reading between the lines you're suggesting that working in IT makes you a spiteful vindictive bastard with borderline Aspergers?"

    love that bit! it's so true.. :D

  19. Anonymous Coward

    yes it's been a month and we've all been a bit anxious

    but it's the summer hols in NZ, where I believe the master resides and whilst we've been shivering and suffering credit crunch - he's been enjoying sunshine and errm... other kiwi pursuits (have to be careful with the humour there, CP and all that).

    I'm willing to live with the odd gap in service as long as the service remains this good.

  20. this


    Isn't that some kind of pointy green vegetable that makes your pee smell strange?

    Oh no, that's dyslexia, sorry.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    I've had nothing to do on my friday lunchtimes for so long, I was afraid it had finished!

    As good as ever Simon!

  22. Nick Palmer

    "A title is required." is it?

    "It's more of a sliding scale"???? ROFL! Awesome!

  23. MarmiteToast
    Thumb Down


    zzzz, this is the first BOFH I couldn't be bothered reading to the end... very poor

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    hey, I resemble that remark

  25. Anonymous Coward

    Meddling studios

    The Director's Cut ended at "Fire it up!".

  26. CJ
    Thumb Down


    That was hardly worth a 4week wait. If it is going to be once a month it would be nice if they were a higher standard.

  27. Chronos Silver badge


    What schedule? He's a busy guy. Things to do, bossen to blackmail, lusers' machines to toast, you know? These things don't write themselves...

    Just thank Eris you got a fix and STFU or Simon may just sod off on a junket and delay the next one deliberately just to wind you ungrateful buggers up. Instead, if you really are that addicted, may I advise those of you who haven't already visit to test your own levels of bastardy?

  28. Scott Silver badge

    Ass Burgers

    I have heard it pronounced that way on occasion. Considering the volume of junk food & coffee that IT workers eat, this may me the right way!

    ps - I am not small and was at McDonalds yesterday too...

  29. amanfromMars Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    IT ...... Your Virtual Friend to Vanquish Personal Foes and Imaginary Phobias

    ...and/or /Intellectual Hurdles/Neural Blocks.

    ""And reading between the lines you're suggesting that working in IT makes you a spiteful vindictive bastard with borderline Aspergers?"

    "If we're talking cause and effect here it might be that being a spiteful vindictive bastard with a mild personality disorder might attract you to IT," I counter, "as opposed to IT making you that way. Leastways, I know it is in my case."

    "So now you're saying that you have it as well?"

    "Absolutely - but over the years my assistant and I have evolved a clear and concise language with which to pass on instructions. For instance, we avoid terms like 'kick the server in the guts', 'give it a bash', 'ok shoot', and a whole host of other phrases which, when subject to literal translation, could be misconstrued."

    Wise Words to Cherish for Sanity in the Crazy Worlds Defined and Running and Run with Binary Code Manipulation for Virtual Machinery Man Management.

    Simon, that was worth the far-too-long-a-wait and the withdrawal pains during the wait. :-)

    Oh dear, does that identify one as a Potential Borderliner into BDSM and Maxxed Out Role Play, or just some who would mention it in Passing Thoughts?

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Horns

    Simon ...

    Keep us waiting again next week and i'll tell PFY to fire you up..

    absolutely awesome, I've not laughed so much for a long long time

  31. Anonymous Coward

    Been awhile

    Been a long wait but you definately picked the right Friday to publish it.

    Damn Sharepoint roll-out is doing my nut in, like I care what users want from the system..... damn I think I might have a touch of the aspergers

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Mark Lockwood

    I thought we already had a name for the horrible affliction - "users"?

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    He's a very literal man

    Quality and full of laughs as per:

    "No, you said, 'OK, give it a bash' - a completely different thing altogether. He's a very literal man, my assistant."

    "No one would mistake 'give it a bash' for 'hit it repeatedly with a hammer'."

    Good work Simon!

  34. Geeks and Lies


    I for one welcome our new Aspergers Overload!

  35. Jesthar

    'Fire it up!' - excellent!

    I was beginning to worry about you, Simon! Nice to see a bit of accomplished boss owned hardware-torturing back on the menu.

    Just one request - please don't make me wait so long for the next one, my last few Friday afternoons seem to have lasted forever!

  36. Dave P
    Thumb Up

    Oh yes!

    Ah well, I feel MUCH better about this month now that I've had a fix of BOFH.

    Now, what mischief can I get up to?

  37. Rosuav
    Thumb Up

    Ahhhhhh life is back to normal again

    We have BOFH! I repeat, we have BOFH!

    (I went and called my brother from his bed as soon as I saw the new episode. And he got up without any hint of resentment.)

    Question: What IS the BOFH's daily lie quota?

  38. Dave
    Thumb Up


    Yes! More BOFH, I am happy that the writer is actually alive and well and hasn't himself become trapped in the tape safe, or had a trip down the stairs, or an accident with the halon system...

    Just please... don't leave it another 4 weeks until the next one!

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    New legal defence of the week...

    Nice, now when I get hauled in front of a judge for property damage I can say aspergers made me do it. (If insanity works for serial killers why not aspergers for me?)

    (we really need a deranged icon)

  40. Newsman

    Ahh... The Master is Back ... ABOUT DANG TIME!

    Very nice touch there Simon. Very worth the wait, but PLEASE... I know it's summer down under, but please don't keep us waiting another month for the next installment! Surely it can't be that hard to find a few minutes every day to work on writing an episode.... I do understand that you've got a life outside of this, but I just have to put in my 2¢ worth and join with those who say "PLEASE don't make us wait another month!"

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Aspergers - good for techies :)

    Over my time working in IT it has become apparent that many of the qualities of a good problem-solver, whether in Operations or Programming lead me to believe that a person who appears to suffer from mild Aspergers is a jolly fine candidate for the job.

    Hell, better, give me a couple of full-on autistics and we'd accomplish miracles of IT - re-write Windows so that it works! Deliver device drivers for Linux. Make Macs cheap!

    They'll be none of that "I've got a social life" disease that occasionally afflicts many of our brightest sparks. Just people who want to work quietly and keep to themselves doing 60 hour weeks behind a keyboard.

    Oh well. Stuck with all these normal people around me. At least I don't have to talk to them often...

  42. Gordon Grant

    Agreed @ Finally!

    I agree Dave, 4 weeks is too long, come on simon I know it's hard to come up with stuff..

    I need my BOFH fix..

    Answer: The BOFH's daily lie quota is what ever he can get away with, boundery push...

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Speaking as one...

    ...IT is a gift to us from the heavens. A field we can often work well in, especially welcome since there are so many fields where you have to do nearly everything by getting *people* to do what you want. Computers at least do what you damned well tell them. In theory, anyway. In the end there's always a discoverable reason why they don't. People on the other hand...

  44. Jeremy

    re: Defense of the week...

    Well if it works for McKinnon.....

    As one, it bugs me no end when people wheel out their new-found diagnosis as a defense in court...

    On the Bastard, more cattle prods and carpet rolls, please Simon!

  45. Anonymous Coward



    Good episode. Not a classic but a good episode.

    Nice standard weekly episode as I've come to love in last couple of years.

    Violence content lowered but good enough.

    But recent ones have been upping the violence towards the old school style and...



    FFS WHY SO LONG??????????????????? WHY THE WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I can't take the wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It just might work...

    You don't think that cutting off a BOFHs porn supply might lead to more displays of anti-social behaviors?

  47. SigKill

    Boss? What Boss?

    Is this supposed to be a new Boss? What happened to Mr. Sue Youall?

  48. Anonymous Coward

    BOFH lie quota

    Now *that's* something that ventures into recursion. How many? Would you believe me if I told you? I'm lying about my lying quota now.

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Like a breath of fresh air

    Huzzah for new BOFH. Nice episode as well Simon, I never considered the Aspergers angle. However I think at the end of the day it's not a mental illness that causes us to be anti social, it's clueless end (l)users that do it to us. Either way thanks for lightening up my Friday.

  50. Clint Sharp


    "Question: What IS the BOFH's daily lie quota?"

    I think it's more of a sliding scale...


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