back to article Anal whitening biz drops one million clams for Vibrators.com

A tiny etailer in the suburbs of Detroit has paid $1m for the web address most conducive to selling vibrators. PriveCo Inc. - the company that sells anal bleaching cream from Shopinprivate.com and penis pinatas from Bachelorette.com - is now the proud owner of the Vibrators.com domain. "Of all the companies in the world," …

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  1. Dominic Kua
    Thumb Down

    Bachelorette...

    ...What was wrong with spinster?

  2. Neil Greatorex
    Coat

    "your very own stripper pole."

    If it will take the paint off my doors I want one.

  3. Big Pete
    Boffin

    Anal whitening cream?

    I never realised such a substance existed.

    Which leads me to ask: How white should my arse ring be?, i can't even see it, should i ask someone to check for me?.

  4. RW
    Happy

    @ Big Pete

    You've led an overly sheltered life, m'boy.

    Please note: no Paris icon; she would be just t-o-o obvious.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    IT

    I know there's an angle here somewhere....maybe buried in that cream.

    Paris, 'cos she know what it's for.

  6. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Porn exploits people?

    Is it on the management board of Nike or something?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Old skool

    He'd have been better spending that million dollars on PPC. And I'm sure Ann Summers is much *ahem* bigger than that, even in online terms.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well bugger me

    I am truly enlightened. The world of anal whitening has passed me by (until now)

  9. jake Silver badge

    Marketing ... whole 'nuther language.

    > We draw the line at what's exploitative.

    Selling useless overpriced crap to idiots isn't exploitative?

  10. P Saunders
    Paris Hilton

    "Of all the companies in the world..."

    "PriveCo is probably the best choice to run Vibrators.com." Gawd, these press release writers really know their stuff. When there is nothing to write about, take up at least 3 paragraphs of argle bargle, PR-speak and unmitigated crap.

    Paris, for the most obvious reasons......

  11. Ian Oliver
    Boffin

    Erm...

    Really, what the zark is "anal whitening cream" and why would I want or need to use it?

    Does it "improve" the experience, whatever that might be?

    To be honest, I don't think I want to know the answer but I just know I'm going to spend the rest of the day wondering about this...

    Obviously, I've led a sheltered life...

    Goggles icon, because when using that stuff I guess you'd have to take safety precautions...

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    a family in the "industrial vibratory equipment business."

    Wow, industrial strength vibrators. Thats certain to be a womans best friend! :P

  13. Evil Graham
    Happy

    OMFG - anal whitening cream

    Sorry, but I agree with Big Pete on this one. I haven't led a particularly sheltered life but I also had no idea such a product existed.

    The only possible customer I can imagine for it is Michael Jackson. Mind you it that's true, you have to admire his attention to detail.

  14. adnim Silver badge

    Albino starfish

    "We draw the line at what's exploitative. We don't sell pornography because it exploits people."

    And selling anal bleach to the anally retentive isn't exploitation?

    From $10/£7 to $50/£35 (approx, conversion), per product, I'm sure there will be something cheaper and possibly quicker acting found under the kitchen sink for the average DIYer.

    Nope, anal bleaching ain't for me. It would be too much hassle having to wipe after EVERY dump.

  15. Brett Weaver
    Paris Hilton

    @Big Pete

    You don't wait to be told you need anal whitening cream...

    Paris.. Because...

  16. Chris G Silver badge

    I may be naive

    But what the hell is a penis pinata?

    Is it some thing I need or don't really want to know about?

  17. Andy Worth

    Uhh

    "filters that go in your underpants so that when you pass gas it doesn't smell"

    So where's the fun in silent but deadly then? I mean, it's like alcohol free lager and renders your farts completely worthless.

  18. Duncan Hothersall
    Heart

    @ Big Pete

    I imagine you could use a web cam to see how much anal whitening cream you need to put on.

    And there, ladies and gentlemen, is the IT angle.

  19. Sceptical Bastard
    Paris Hilton

    I'm with Big Pete

    WTF *is* anal whitening cream? More to the point, why? Also, I hate to sound like a thicko, but what's a penis pinata?

    Perhaps our beloved Moderatrix can enlighten us all?

    (Paris for oh-so-obvious reasons)

  20. Mark Menzies
    Flame

    Now this may be useful...

    "filters that go in your underpants so that when you pass gas it doesn't smell"

    Something for the "silent but violent" brigade???

    Flames, cos you should never light a match in enclosed spaces with air biscuits in proximity.

  21. Tom Austin
    Stop

    @ Big Pete

    I'm with you on this -- up until this morning, I had NEVER heard of anal whitening cream. My life, strangely enough, was not the poorer for it.

    Now, however, I'm just pondering, disturbingly, the mental picture of someone whose job it would be to check, grade and, I assume, probably apply the afore-mentioned product.

    Stop sign because, if this is where your job is fast-tracking you towards...

  22. Adrian
    Coat

    Anal Whitening Cream

    Is there any marketing blurb with before and after shots?

  23. Anton Channing
    Flame

    Porn exploit?

    As an ex-porn model I can say that as an insider to the industry I don't remember seeing anyone exploited. Maybe somewhere there is a seedy corner of the industry that does, but if so I didn't see it. All I remember is getting paid a decent sum of money for a couple hours of fun. Best job ever.

    Now if only I could have gotten enough hours to make a living out of it...

  24. Simon Painter
    Alert

    @Big Pete

    You should click on the link, it's very enlightening. Apparently a bleached ring makes you look more youthful!

  25. Elrond Hubbard

    So..

    The children making penis panatas for 1$ a day arent being exploited...

  26. Master Baker
    Black Helicopters

    Expensive anal bleaching

    A cheaper cream for anal bleaching is, well, bleach. Get some domestos, a wire brush, squat-down in your bathtub and become your rings worst enemy (or best friend - you decide).

    Your exit hole was meant for waste duties. It's probably evolved into a shade of brown to cover-up the slops.

    With a shiny-white hole you'd be able to spot a dangle-berry at 50 paces, which would put you right off your impending stroke.

    That helicopter looks a bit like a naturally-aspirated a*hole.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    You have led a sheltered life, in fact

    Some gay men have been paying good money for anal bleaching for years..

  28. Mike

    You guys should get out more

    Anal bleaching is often used when those who don a G-string do not wish their chocolate starfish to be too obvious during bending maneuvers, and if the summer in the UK lasted more that seven minutes then you too would have the opportunity (not) to see how rusty the sheriffs badge isn't.

  29. hexacet
    Paris Hilton

    hmmmm...

    wonder if they'd be intrested in one of my beer induced registrations, namely www.wheretolookfothingstofuck.com ;)

    paris 'cos weve all looked for that video....

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    I really have no idea what to say

    "Anal bleaching cream"

    Personally I dont think Wacko Jacko needs this. Dont really see the kiddies having time to ripen....

    "Penis Pinatas"

    Just thinking of how they get the candy these makes me cringe.

    "Stripper Poles"

    So the question here does the pole come with a stripper as well?

    Anon for ovbious reasons

    /Mines the one thats vibrating.

  31. Stewart Haywood

    @ Big Pete

    An old friend of mine used to announce, in very public places, that there were three things that every man had done. Have a woman, have a wank, and have a look up his own arse with a mirror. I have often wondered how many men went away in search of a mirror after hearing this. Obviously some did.

    The vision of some old dude stood in the shower with stuff to make his grey hair go brown and stuff to make his brown arse go grey has popped into my mind. I think that I will stay with grey hair and brown arse.

    @Well bugger me

    No thanks, it's the wrong colour.

  32. Nebulo
    Coat

    Oh, dear, oh, dear

    I'm putting anal bleaching in the same category as alt.sex.bondage.aluminum.baseball.bat - "think about it if you must but you probably really don't want to go there".

    (Shakes head trying to forget)

    (WTF's this tube of cream in my pocket??)

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Right.

    They say they want nothing to do with porn because it exploits people...

    Anyone want to hazard a guess at which group of people are the most likley to want to have thier anus looking spick and span? I'll give you a clue, they get paid to have cameras pointing at them.

  34. twat
    Coat

    Stealth farts

    If there are no "beneficiaries" why bother to fart at all?

    The only use I can see for this fart filter is for astronauts wearing space suits!

    Mines the one with the filter in the vent.

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