The answer is obvious.
Step 1. Charlie lets all the gold be lost out of the back of the bus into the Alps
Step 2. There is not much loss because Gordon Brown has sold far more, after telling everyone was he going to, the genius, so gold isn't worth anything.
Step 3. Gordon Brown buys into the criminal fraternity taking a 28% stake in return for an investment to the value of the gold.
Step 4. Gordon also lends the Italian Government 20 Billion Million Trillion Lira (7 euros fifty, to replace the cost of the stolen gold.)
Step 5. All this has cost nobody anything, due to the Gordonomics argument that he's not putting tax up after the election.
Step 6. Gordon is announced a genius. The electorate soon have to pay a new breathing levy, which is not a tax, but is a "levy" to compensate for the CO2 people breathe out.
Step 7. Tessa Jowell suggests that if we all "hope enough" criminals will realise "their methods are unfair, and they'll think about how bad they've been."
Step 8. Harriet Harman complains about Benny Hill molesting women, and the actresses not being paid the same as Charlie.