back to article BBC's speak you're branes collapses under Brand-Ross sex outrage

The BBC's "Have Your Say" online comment forum briefly collapsed this afternoon as the entire population of Britain sought to express HOW INCREDIBE ANGRGY it was about those men being mean to Manuel off Fawlty Towers. The forum's perma-outraged denizens are notorious as the inspiration of the Twat-o-Tron and accompanying …


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  1. David H
    Dead Vulture


    Am I the only one who initially thought that The Register's standards of grimmer and spilling had fillen down a lack mole?

    Mine's the jacket previously worn by Officer Crabtree.

  2. Ralph B
    IT Angle

    Damn Indeed

    > a bit pointless, rather like this story.

    Too right. The Reg really should be concentrating on the exciting developments of the Peaches Geldof story.

  3. Steven Jones

    Quite apart for the morality

    Quite apart from the morality or acceptability of their conduct, it is kind of heartwaming to see media-savvy loudmouths like that pair slip up quite so spectacularly in their judgement on what they can get away with.

  4. Mike Crawshaw


    But seriously. If I did what they did, I'd be speaking to policemen in the comfort of a nice pair of bracelets complete with connecting chain to make sure I didn't lose my wrists. It wasn't nice, it wasn't big or clever to leave abusive stuff about his grand-daughter on his voice mail, and it certainly wasn't amusing.

    I suggest, as a punishment, that they are both kept off the tv for the rest of forever. Because they're both shit, mainly, so that's a doubleplusgood bonus (I find Brand, in particular, about as amusing as a kick in the knackersack) - and perhaps they'll both starve from lack of exposure.

    (Though I can understand Brand WANTING to do the lady in question - I'd play Pirates with her anyday!)

  5. Rupert Fiennes Bronze badge

    Worthy of Prime Ministerial attention it's not...

    ...but it was a thoroughly nasty thing to do anyway. I don't suppose I can get a discount on the TV license when the pair of them get fired, can I?

  6. Smallbrainfield
    Thumb Down

    *fails to give much of a hoot*

    This story has no merit whatsoever other than it is not about the credit crunch. I don't care much for Ross, and Brand is a buffoon. They don't deserve the shitstorm they're getting for this, though.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Brand Ross sex outrage


    I'll remember that forever, even if my brain is wiped with a mind rubber.

  8. Richard
    Thumb Down

    "Down with this sort of thing!"

    "Careful now!" - UK + Dog*

    *Just so the pitchfork wielding witch hunters don't come after me, let me make myself clear. I mean dogs of the canine variety, and am in no way making insulations that Manuel's granddaughter is a anything but a lovely, vaguely Gothic looking young lady.**

    **The skank.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dance with the devil in tight pants

    I think their prank was completely out of order and the BBC should have known better than to broadcast; but if you engage in carnal relations with Brand, and you know how he likes to boast about his conquests, you should be ready for the inevitable fall-out.

    Like most, I had no idea (or care) who Mr Sachs' grand-daughter was until this story broke. She's cute, but strikes me as a little dim. We all know what Brand is like - you would have thought someone who mixes in showbiz circles would be a little more cautious?!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    are you bored by any chance?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Isn't that insulting?

    I mean Sachs has made it clear he's not bothered by it, but nobodies listening to him. Instead they listen to the newspapers exaggerating his nieces opinion of this! As though he's somehow not able to speak for himself, and their word is more accurate than his on matters relating to him!

    It's very presumptuous of them, to be offended on behalf of someone else. Patronising even.

  12. Jimmy Floyd
    Paris Hilton

    Rupert Murdoch isn't missing out

    At work we have a TV screen which is sometimes set to Sky News, as it was this lunchtime. I notice the Evil Empire is dedicating the sort of coverage to this which is normally reserved for major terrorist attacks, celebutard breast implants and (occasionally) serious news.

    A mite opportunist, one might say?

    Paris, because she may have slept with Russell Brand but no-one cares either (least of all Paris).

  13. Simon Hildreth

    In other news

    In other news, I rang my bank today and upset the automated call handler lady.

    Mines the one with the null point error...

  14. Evil Graham

    Let's Boycott the comments page in protest!


  15. Mark

    How would wossie like it?

    I thought about phoning up Wossie on his show and asking about whether his youngest is still going to be wearing the "Halloween Whore" outfit he was describing and whether he could get a photo up on the website of it.

    Or would he figure that's a bit off?

    One defendant said that it was no worse than some workplace shenanigans. Forgetting that Andrew Sachs wasn't part of the BBC Radio 2 team.

    I dare say Wossie isn't hurting too much, he's trousered millions from the BBC already.

  16. Andrew Kelly

    One thing that the interweb has taught me

    There are an awful lot of people out there who can't spell even the most basic words.

    My only comment on the Brand-Ross-Manuel saga is: how can Brand be described as a comedian?

  17. Anthony Allen

    I expect...

    ...Britain to collapse under the shear pressure of the masses not being able to vent their collective spleens. Some people need to grow up and get a life instead of echoing their thoughts to the comments section of a news site.

    (Anyway, it was funny)

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    One Reg hack...

    It wasn't Lester then, he's obviously got a thing about celeb's?

  19. Carl


    "The actor, 78, said he would not be reporting the matter to police. "

    Just a hunch, but I don't think that even Ian Blair would be able to miss this glaringly obvious evidence...

  20. Tim Spence

    First-time BBC commenter

    This story (non-story) caused me to write my first ever piece of correspondence to the BBC. And I don't even write stuff at work, for money, so the BBC has a lot to answer for.

    It was a complaint, not about Brand and Ross, but at the BBC for pandering to pitchfork-wielding Daily Mail reading Britain. Honestly, I wish the corporation had some balls and would act a bit more like Channel 4 possibly would in this situation, and issue a statement simply saying "Fuck off".

    I didn't hear the actual show, but from what I have heard in the meeja, it's some people with humour-bypasses who are likely over the age of 60 fuelling the fire. They do like a good moan over a steaming storm in a teacup, don't they.

    As a licence-fee paying person, I also resent the assumption and accusation that I have been offended over this. Mark Thompson: "This gross lapse of taste by the performers and the production team has angered licence payers".

    Mark, I've got news for you; I really don't give a fuck, and actually, neither do most of the licence-fee paying public.

  21. N Silver badge

    Indeed, who gives a f**k

    My comment on the BBC vent-your-spleen-politely-o-tron for the benefit of El Reg readers who cant be arsed to sift through more digital venom than an "I hate Vista" forum:

    Russell Brand & Jonathan Ross are both a refreshing breath of fresh air to a channel fully prepared to ram its own particular brand of political correctness down our throats.

    If I ran an independent TV channel, Id be drafting their contract right now & probably for a lot more money.

    recommended by 8 so far, so probably a record high for me

  22. Andy H

    Sack him

    Chris, how dear you swear in an article on this esteemed and family friendly website. Off to the moderatrix with you, or maybe even the erstwhile Ms Baille here

    and here

    Apologies to all for having to link to the Daily mail and I have to agree who gives a fuck, apart from outraged DM readers (who don't count anyway)

  23. Anonymous Coward

    Pointless story?

    I'll get *your* coat, shall I?

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    It's all a set up

    Look through the horse manure folks, guess who's Georgina Baillie's PR agent is - yes that's right -Max Clifford. In my opinion this is a load of press manipulation to further her career. Money can't buy this sort of publicity and the people who should be being censured are the parasites trying to manipulate the situation for their own personal gain out of my licence fee.

    Don't be sheep folks

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Russell Brand is a talentless tit

    Wait, am I reading this right? Some of you actually think Russell Brand is refreshing? That guy is a talentless cock. I don't agree with the outrage, but I do think the idiot should get off our TV.

    Even Paris Hilton has more intelligent that the idiot.

  26. Bassey


    I think it would be quite funny if their service provider suspended their telephone service - much like they would for any of us who made a series of abusive calls. Not going to happen, obviously, but it would be amusing to see the Beeb try to justify it's phone-centric output as "Entertainment" once the phone part is taken away. It would certainly put an end to that fecking "Children in need" shite and, for that alone, I would have to thank the talentless twosome.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle


    How strange that after the programme in question was broadcast Radio 2 only had a couple of complaints about the swearing.

    But now, since the "story" broke, there's over 20,000 complaints. I would guess 99% of which are from people who didn't even listen to the programme in the first place.

    All these people with nothing better to do than jump on the complaining band-wagon.

    The British love a good moan - even if they don't know what they're moaning about.

  28. Leigh Smith


    What bothers me is that the biggest news story in the country for the last 3 days is that two Radio DJs upset an old man. What the hell?

    This has obviously been stirred up the commercial press to take a swipe at the BBC. Until the likes of ITV, SKY and the tabloids decided this was going to be the world's most important development the BBC had all of two complaints. Once the story broke Sach's received and accepted an apology. Naturally the press successfully stirred up outrage amongst the Daily Mail readers of the world and on seeing a bandwagon rolling on by the politicians couldn't help but throw themselves at it. Brown and Cameron must have been falling over each other to jump on it first.

    Naturally of course it was revealed today by the some of those responsible for starting this shit storm that no lies where told in those answerphone messages. I found it very Interesting how ITN and Sky News initially described her as a dancer and singer and not as a kinky Satan fetish stripper. I'm sure Sach's is already fully aware that he has a depraved tart as a Granddaughter so I doubt it was protect his sensibilities. No it was just to paint the BBC in the worst possible light . Rupert Murdoch must have creamed his pants when he got wind of this news story.

    If this had been on a local commercial radio station nobody would have have cared or noticed. If Sach's hadn't been in Farty Towels nobody would have cared either.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What really gets me

    is that fat f---ing theiving incompetent lying sack of s--- Gordon "Fascist overlord" Brown and equaly s--- filled w----r David "Facist overlord in waiting" Cameron voicing opinions on it, don't you two t---s have anything better to do? Like wrecking another economy, trashing more jobs or making more perfectly innocent things illegal?

    Bunch of f---ing monkeys spunks, but as I said yesterday, the people get the government they deserve.

  30. TimM


    Yes it's on face value OTT, but on the other hand it is a reflection of the true feeling against Ross (in the main).

    This has been an opportunity to voice opinions on how ludicrously highly paid he is and not worth a penny of it.

    More than that though is it is our money paying for him.

    What I never have understood though is why the Beeb backs him, pays his insane salary, and yet struggles so much that they have to flog the iconic BBC TV centre!

    Sack Ross and a lot of money becomes available to sort the Beeb out.

    So yes, it may be OTT, but I like most people don't care, we just want Ross booted out. Let him try and command that kind of salary on a commercial network, not at the taxpayers expense (and yes before you start, it is a tax, not a stupid "licence" fee).

    Brand is a moron who's comedy appeals to juveniles, and fair enough in a way. Let him get his knuckles wrapped and move on. Ross on the other hand is supposed to be the Beeb's top presenter.

  31. blackworx
    Paris Hilton

    Oh yeah...

    Sachs' niece has "cut short" her European tour doing whichever non-celebrated performing activity it is she's been up to thus far, in order to come back to Britain and "deal with the situation".

    "cut short" = gaily abandoned

    "deal with the situation" = get as much free publicity as humanly possible with a view to obtaining (at the very least) a substantial celebrity status-linked salary hike.

    Then again, perhaps I am being a touch over-cynical.

  32. Rat

    As far as I can see...

    ...the only real value to this whole thing is that it might finally expel that tedious twat Brand from our screens. I don't have any real beef with Ross.

  33. Tim Brown
    Paris Hilton

    that's showbiz!

    Bad luck on the old bloke, as if getting repeatedly hit on the head with a spoon by John Cleese wasn't enough humiliation for one lifetime.

    However the granddaughter is doing alright out of this. As they say, there's no such thing as bad publicity in showbiz... and I hear she has no retained that pillar of the community, Max Clifford as her PR agent. Watch out Abi Titmuss is all I can say!

    Paris, cos she knows all about showbiz and scandals!

  34. Ash

    daily mail hysteria

    It was a bad joke, end of story. The fucking Daily Heil inciting pitchfork wielding sheepmobs are pretty scary, its a shame people can't think and judge for themselves and within proportion.

  35. Lloyd
    Thumb Up

    Well I give a fuck

    If only because I want to ostracise Brand so he fucks off to the States and spends the rest of his life playing a twatty British rock star in shit teen comedies (to be fair Forgetting Sarah Marshall was actually quite good).

  36. Anonymous Coward


    What I found far more offensive was flicking over to channel 4 last night to witness 'embarrassing teenage illnesses', and the thrushy penis followed by loose labia brought with it. It put me off kebabs for life.

    When will the Daily Mail come to address these issues and ensure its readership can enjoy a bland and unoffensive schedule of costume dramas??

    Mines the one with the antifungal cream in the pocket.

  37. Alastair

    There's no doubt in my mind...

    That the vast majority of people complaining did not hear it, will not hear it, and are outraged because of a lack of more interesting things to do in their life.

    And punish Ross and Brand? Come on. Brand has already starred in a couple of Hollywood films, and has a load more in the pipeline- if anything this will raise his profile. Ross can just get another gold-plated contract at ITV or Sky or something. In other news, the world will continue to turn this week, as...

  38. Patrick

    Stop using licence fee for funding entertainment

    Whilst I quite enjoy Ross, the way they've behaved here is pretty pathetic. I certainly find it offensive.

    It makes me wonder why we are paying £140/year in licence fees to fund "entertainment" on radio/tv? We've got hundreds of entertain radio/tv channels now - with thousands to come in the future via the internet.

    Surely the private sector's perfectly capable of doing this without resorting to public funding?

    They should either get rid of the licence or just have it for public interest programmes that won't be produced by the private sector.

    Alternatively levy UK broadcasters to fund public interest programmes. I wouldn't support government funding as that's too susceptible to political influence.

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Cheap PR stunt... promote the career of a Dita von Teese wannabe.

    Cynical, me?

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Well hopefully some have learnt

    Push the boundaries to the sewer, as seems to be BBC comedy's current plan, and you might just fall into the excrement

  41. Matt Kimber


    I note with some despair that not only have we gone completely over-the-top on a celebrity-centred non-story while there's actual, real news going on in the world (complete with token weighing in by the politicos!), but that the BBC have even gone ahead and thrown in their favourite old tat of calling it a "perfect storm", two words vying for what has to be possibly the most over-used journalistic phrase of 2008.

  42. Sceptical Bastard

    Damn indeed!

    I just *knew* El Reg would succumb to this story. But well done for holding out so long :)

    Anyway, I added my sixpen'th to the Beeb's complaints page (not, I hasten to add, to the Twat-O-Tron itself).

    Why? Is it because dear old Grandad Sachs is a nash'nul trezz? Nope. Is it because a fair young maid was defiled and betrayed by a bounder? Nope. Is it because there is an issue of great national importance here? Nope. Is it because I'm a Mail reader? Good god no!

    It is because I'd do anything within reason to wipe the smug self-satisfied grins off the fatuous faces of those two talentless unfunny puerile pricks.

    Never mind Andrew Sachs, never mind his comely grand-daughter (I mean, you *would*, wouldn't you?), never mind the lack of judgement by the producers - the fact remains that Brand and Ross are stomach-churning wankstains who deserve a timely and massive cut in their payslips, if not actually burning at the stake.

    Other people have put these two fuckers in the pillory so I'm jumping on the bandwagon to hurl rotten fruit at them (and let that fruit be smeared with dog turd).

    Phew! Thanks for sharing. Nurse!

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    May I suggest the sex offenders register

    Aren't we all enlightened and radical? Yeah, or maybe not. I would say you're all about as radical as the Rik character out the Young Ones.

    Making abusive phone calls containing sexual innuendo would get any non-celeb straight on the sex offenders register. Whether you thought it funny or beyond the pale is irrelevant. The pair should be duly taken down.

  44. Steve

    I bought Jonathan Ross's dog

    It died

  45. Jeff Rowse Bronze badge

    And in other news..?

    Wonder what Gordon and fiends are sneaking out while the idiots in the mass media go overboard on a complete non-issue... New databases? More lost CDs/DVDs/Laptops?

    So Wossy and Brand played silly beggars - big fracking deal. Anyone else find it amusing how long it took for "people" to notice what thye'd done? What was it, nearly TWO WHOLE WEEKS(!) before The Masses noticed they'd been a little bit rude...

    I always thought "freedom of speech" could be interpreted as the right to be insulted by, or to insult, anybody but obviously I was wrong. Can anyone recommend a good lawyer so I can sue all those mean and nasty people who ever called me a nasty name?

    Last one out, please turn off the lights.

  46. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    I'll just say that

    I have opinions on this but I am staying well out of it except to say, I bet you don't really care about any aspect of this as much as you think you do, and nor does anyone else.

    I'll be glad when it's over, one way or another, it's just depressing.

  47. Juillen
    Thumb Down

    @Tim Spence et. al.

    Course you don't care. It's not happened to you, right? Therefore, it's ok. You're not offended. No problem.

    Mr. Sachs isn't calling in the cops, so good on him, I say. Just shows he's actually a worthwhile chap who has a lot of backbone (who knows Ross and Brand are going to get a kicking anyway), and just wants to get on with life, without all the fuss.

    Really, Ross & Brand were just bullying. Same thing you see on school playground the world over. None of the kids give a damn about the one being bullied there either; because it's not them, it's ok.

    Was I arsed to write a letter of condemnation to the beeb? No. Do I think Ross and Brand need a kicking for being bullies, and breaking the BBCs own rules of conduct? Damn straight. So does the person who signed off on it.

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Shirley this incident falls within Ofcom's definition of a nuisance phone call? And isn't the standard punishment for such trangression disconnection? If so I think they should cut off all the Beeb's phone lines, especially the voting lines for shows like Strictly Come Dancing.

    Seriously it matters not whether listeners were offended, there's always the off button and even Daily Mail readers can find that. Standard in broadcasting can be controlled by the listener, if enough

    If we're talking nuisance phone calls what does matter however is whether the recipient of the phone calls was offended. And of course nuisance phone calls can cross the line into criminal offence. Could be interesting if Sachs complains to DCI Knacker.

  49. Red Bren
    Thumb Down

    BBC iFlayer

    This isn't the first time a wave of moral outrage has swept through a vocal minority of the population that never actually witnessed the event that provoked their vitriol.

    The BBC needs to review its complaints procedure and put a time-limit on complaint submissions. Something like 8 days after the original broadcast (to allow for iPlayer availability) or the appearance of a shock-horror story in the gutter press, whichever happens sooner.

    That way, only people who actually tuned in to the broadcast and were genuinely offended can complain and not the daily-hate-mail reading morons who would have us watching nothing but endless repeats of Dad's Army.

  50. Anonymous Coward

    aah finally..

    The UK is standing up for the abuse of Satanic goths..

    It's heart-warming to see, after the abuse we've had over ..

    oh wait..

    /the one with the !Wumpscut! logo ...


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