back to article Sainsbury's punts 'Innocent kids juices' for £2.99

As I write this, I can hear a distant droning which indicates the Twat-O-Tron has just been fired up at its secret location somewhere in Middle England and is about to discharge an unholy turdspurt at supermarket monolith Sainsbury's. Here's why: Sainsbury's offer for "Innocent kids juices" Yup, we're thinking the same as …

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  1. Nic Brough
    Paris Hilton

    El Reg

    Turning into Failblog?

    ICanHasOldParisIconBackPlz? (although the others can stay, this new one just doesn't look as good...)

  2. Steven Foster

    Hahahaha

    I hope they'll be forced to sign the sex offenders register.

  3. Simon Robinson
    Pirate

    Darn it!

    If I'd have known they were squishing kids when I worked next door to them many years ago, I might have turned down all those free bottles...now I'm hopelessly addicted. Really bad as I now work at a school.

    Of course the grammar would have been easy if they'd just labelled them "Innocent juices for kids".

  4. Bob Greenwood

    That's nothing.....

    How many infants have to be squeezed to make a bottle of Baby oil?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Nevermind the grammar

    More to the point, how can they charge so much for 'Kids' smoothies, shouldn't they at least be half the price of the 'Adults' versions?!

  6. Mike Dyne
    Paris Hilton

    My little sister

    Recently gave me a birthday card. She made it herself. She managed to correctly place an apostrophe (It's your birthday).

    Shame on you Sainsbury's.

    Paris, obviously.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Sainsbury's??

    Shop at Asda, nobody there give a shit about apostrophes!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I bought some of those

    On the side of the carton they have a URL printed:

    www.innocentkids.co.uk

    I haven't visited it because I don't want the police kicking my door down at 5am and confiscating my computer...

  9. Marvin the Martian
    Coat

    Never mind the apostrophe,

    Exactly which juices from innocent kids are we talking about here?

    I'm sorry, mine's the dirty Belgian one.

  10. Mike Groombridge
    Unhappy

    i know this is being decussed else where but

    the picture doesn't fit in your new fixed width evil ness place in future crop photo's to fit or get rid of the fixed width (my preferences) other than that it's lovely

    but to the point clearly this is just a sign that the world is deevoling back to the soup we all came from.

    I personally can't wait until we become a split race of super intelligent race of higher beings and a race of illiterate slaves for us to rule over. ofcourse first we must get rid of the third race of people who seems intelligent until they get public office then they suddenly become stupid i believe they are called politians

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    unholy turdspurt

    I can't wait to use that one at the next meeting I have to go to.

    Brilliant. Thanks for enriching my language once again.

  12. Jay Cooper
    Paris Hilton

    @ Mike Groombridge

    For a comment on grammar you may just wanted to have proof read your post.......Capital letters are a godsend in the English language.

  13. Alan Potter
    IT Angle

    Chortle

    I won't complain about the change in format of ElReg because I usually love the content. But this article really is late on a Friday afternoon after a good lunchtime in the pub level of quality.

    So someone missed out an apostrophe. Who gives a flying fuck? The grammatical error is endemic. Yes, it pisses a lot of us off, but I fail to see the IT angle. Even slightly.

    Have you suddenly started being sponsored by The Daily Mail?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Innocent Have Previous Form

    They have also launched a drink called "Thickie". Now when I was at school "thickie" wasn't a drink.... Whatever next? A drink called Retard? One called Guilty Priest Squirt?

    Yes, I know I'm going to Hull for that one...

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Get in my belly

    Well if Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers series decides to go on a liquid diet he now knows where to shop....

  16. Sam

    cannot resist

    My little sister

    By Mike Dyne Posted Monday 15th September 2008 14:45 GMT

    " Recently gave me a birthday card. She made it herself. She managed to correctly place an apostrophe (It's your birthday)."

    She's 24....

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Superb... Well done, Sainsbo's muppets

    *applause*

    Now, El Reg web-monkeys, please fix the formatting so that the darned piccy is sized properly...

    ;p

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ Mike Groombridge

    "I personally can't wait until we become a split race of super intelligent race of higher beings and a race of illiterate slaves for us to rule over."

    Judging by your post, I don't think you are in any danger of doing any ruling over.

  19. Ferry Boat

    Millions of peaches

    The carton at the front appears to contain juices from Peaches. Now that seems like a good idea. At least it might shut her up.

  20. Pierre
    Coat

    I dont see whats you're problem here

    Mine is the greengrocer's one

  21. Andy ORourke
    Joke

    @ Jay Cooper

    I believe Mike Groombridge used the wrong Icon, I think he wanted the "Joke Alert" icon and given the poor quality of the new icons he got confused.

    That's right isn't it Mike, I mean your comments on literacy and grammar peppered with so many mistakes was a joke, right?

  22. Duncan Hothersall
    Heart

    @Alan Potter

    I suppose to the pure, all things are pure; but for the rest of us, the idea of drinking the juices of innocent kids is rather more off-putting than the missing apostrophe, and is indeed the point of the article.

  23. Secretgeek
    Dead Vulture

    FAIL.

    This story is old. This went round the emails about 2 months ago.

    My mates is a manger at Sainsbury's and revelaed that they then went and changed it to:

    ''Innocent Kids' - £2.99

    Oh dear. Fail to Sainsbury's too.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Missing Apostrophe

    I am glad the Reg, has highlighted this grocers' apostrophe mistake, and this is so endemic to IT; you see it is in response to SQL injection attacks.

    Remove the apostrophe, remove the threat I say.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    What?

    Who gives a flying one about the apostrophe? I mean, did you see the price? Bloody hell!

  26. W
    Dead Vulture

    Hoisted by yer own petard?

    ...the deliberate mistake: the mis-spelling of "Sainbury's" in the title of the article was intentional irony, wasn't it?

    "this article really is late on a Friday afternoon after a good lunchtime in the pub level of quality"

    Agreed.

    Aside from the apostrophe incident, while innocent are overpriced at the best of times, this 'kids' version is daylight robery.

    And, as has been mentioed, the image didn't fit the layout either.

    Cuh!

    Self-inflicted downfalls seem to be in vogue: Will G Brown/Nu-Labour or El Reg implode first?

  27. Matt Bradley
    IT Angle

    I see

    I see now why you needed to make more space for headlines on the homepage.

    With solid gold "news" like this, you *really* need the space.

    "Grocer Gets Apostrophe Wrong"

    in other news: pope confesses to closet catholicism.

    Sigh.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    What's the world coming to...

    when you can collect nectar points on innocent kids juices???

  29. Mike Brown

    cat milk?

    reminds me of the day i told my g/f that cat milk comes from cats....the lok of horor was rather funny as i exlained there was factorys full of cats with mini pumps attached to there nipples............

  30. Dan

    So el Reg considers this news??

    Jesus Christ, there are some sites on the web that you expect to pander to this kind of thing, failblog for example, or englishfail, but el reg?? You've got to be kidding me, I'm used to having to filter through the crap to the stuff I'm interested in but at least the crap used to actually be news! This is a joke, and it's not a funny one..

  31. Dick Emery
    Joke

    Pedo trap!

    Seriously only a vulgar mind would think such a thing. No wait...

  32. Adam Foxton

    @Mike Brown

    You can tell it's true- the Simpsons did something similar with rats. It's that whole cat-and-mouse thing going- they thought they'd take the piss out of reality by making it a rat rather than a cat!

    I think they should just avoid mentioning kids at all.

  33. roy
    Stop

    never mind the apostrophe - £2.99!!

    how can they charge that much for juice?? even if it is from innocent kids!

  34. Dave Bell

    Two apostrophes, please.

    Surely they should be labelled "Innocent's kids' smoothies"?

  35. Mike Dyne
    Happy

    You should've resisted!!!

    By Sam Posted Monday 15th September 2008 15:39 GMT

    She's 24....

    It was my 23rd birthday yesterday! :)

    She's 11, not the brightest kid in the world, but damnit, I'm proud she got that one right!

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    @roy

    Well, "innocent" is just another way of saying "naive" or "gullible"...

  37. Chris

    At Sainburys...

    Kids are Soylent Green...

  38. Chris Walker
    Thumb Down

    WTF?

    Has this got to do with IT, or anything remotely close to it?

    My GOD get a life!

  39. Andrew
    Coat

    @Mike Groombridge

    Are you THE Mike Groombridge? (Cambridge, early this decade?)

    If not; I'll get my coat, it's the dirty flasher mac, with pockets stuffed with bottles of innocent kids' juices...

  40. tebiru

    Not to spoil a good joke...

    ...but that's not necessarily incorrect. You can say 'Innocent kids' as a single brand name. In which case an apostrophe isn't necessary between the 'kids' and 'juices'. For example, you would say 'Innocent juices' not 'Innocent's juices'.

  41. kain preacher Silver badge

    Captain Jamie

    One better for you. about four years ago corn nuts did a major ad campaign. Theme was nut busting fun.

    The ad went like this. Bust a nut at work, but a nut at the prom, bust a nut at the park.

    Lets look at that again .

    Bust a nut at work: I don't want to get fired

    Bust a nut at the prom: I'm working on it

    Bust a nut at the park: and end up on the sex offenders list..

    For you people that don't get it it, google bust a nut. Make sure you are not at work

  42. skeptical i

    Essence of Gelfling next shelf over, also on sale?

    And, from the _Addams Family_ movie:

    Girl Scout: Is this [lemonade] made from real lemons?

    Wednesday: Yes.

    Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?

    Pugsley: Yes.

    Girl Scout: I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?

    Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

    (b'dmp-KSSSH)

    Anyhoo, what marketroid decided on the "Innocent" brand name? Sounds a bit Lolita- ish, ya? Or are they trying to carve marketshare away from Megaphone Mark's "Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!" brand?

  43. Angus
    Flame

    @ all the whiners about "wots the IT angle"

    Sigh... the story is in Bootnotes. I suggest if you have issues with articles that have very little or nothing to do with IT you give the whole section a miss rather than reading them and then complaining it. Getting all huffy and then polluting the comments section with your inane whines about "How this has nothing to do with IT" gets a tad old.

    As a simple guide, the articles with "Bootnotes" above the headline are things you probably want to avoid.

  44. kevin biswas
    IT Angle

    Extraction method ?

    So are they cold pressed and filtered, or solvent extracted, or simply pulped or what ? There is a hint of a technology angle there.

  45. michael

    apostrophes bah

    apostrophes who needs them they are just commas filled with heilam I say we get rid of the hole stinking lot of them

  46. TeeCee Gold badge
    Stop

    @Secretgeek

    "My mates is a manger at Sainsbury's and revelaed that they then went and changed it to:"

    O....M.....F.....G.....! All I can say is that your title was well chosen as you appear to have swigged deeply from the cup thereof.

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Actually, shouldn't be an apostrophe

    Apostrophe is for possessive case. As you point out, it would be 'juices of kids'. What they really mean is juices FOR kids, so that's how it should have been written.

  48. Aortic Aneurysm
    Thumb Down

    June called

    They would like their news back

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    There is nothing wrong

    Reg, you are wrong. The caption is 100% correct. There is no need for an apostrophe, the stuff is called "Innocent Kids". It's not plural, it's a name.

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Ok, I confess to being slower than the average bear...

    ... but I read the whole apostrophe thing as an ironic misdirection aimed at highlighting the absurdity of a story on tabloid standard giggle-icious faux pas and a not so subtle dig at those folk that take such things altogether too seriously and vent their misplaced spleens webwise ...

    The bears have been robbing me blind at the three card monte and i could certainly use a bottle of the Innocent brand fruit juice for kids to quench the inferno of my burning humilliation.

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