I feel sorry for the poor child
who would stab someone because their shoes told them to.
Nike has decided to withdraw its "Air Stab" range of trainers in the UK in response to "horrified reactions" from consumers and anti-knife charities, the Times reports. Nike's Air Stab trainer So far this year, 53 people have been stabbed to death in London alone, the Times notes, and last year "over 5,000 people across …
who would stab someone because their shoes told them to.
This is just stupid. It just adds to the bile I've already built up over the beeb's report on banning sharp knives in kitchens.
Kona have been making mountain bikes for some time and have not (so far as I'm aware) had any complaints about the naming of their Stab model (which is quite a nice bike).
I'm guessing this is another case of mass hysteria; people who just cannot avoid flapping their gums on the assumption that they have to in order to prove to other people that they are keeping up with the "what to be offended by" zeitgeist.
Taking a stab at the poor offended customer, while also knowing very well that the knife cuts on both sides when it comes to publicity for nike.
(the knife-proof one)
Cue the trainers becoming sought after and going for a song on ebay.
"given the current media pushed bollocks in the UK"
Fixed that for him.
Hearing the name didn't make me want to shank someone (with the possible exception of the individual who named them), but it did instantly make me think "what a SHIT name for a pair of trainers".
Then, on seeing the image, my first thought was "what a SHIT looking pair of trainers". So I guess the name is appropriate -- maybe they can try to justify it like that to the overreacting mob.
The "Pocket Knife" shoes are no great shakes either (name+looks)... Iif there a whole "blade" theme coming through here?
Does this mean the Kona will be withdrawing their Stab mountain bike range which includes a "Stab Deluxe" and a "Stab Supreme".
Getting my bike jacket now.
Forget the air stab we should be banning vodka shots etc .. these not only lead to binge drinking but encourage the use of firearms whilst doing so.
Is that like air guitar?
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Nike Airslash, or Airgarotte.
A bit tasteless, don't you think? ;)
Make guns legal.
It works like this. They'll still attack each other but instead of wounding they'll just kill each other, which means fewer injured idiots straining the A&E department, which in turn leads to less money being used up to save idiots who'll just be in again next week. Reduced strain on limited funding means that it can be more effectively distributed, saving money, reducing the costs and letting the NHS fund more livfe-saving treatments for cancer patients and so on. I just saved the NHS! Where's my consultancy fee?
Heathrow Campaigners were outraged at Nike's new Air Port range...
I guess these would be found in the 'Street Crime' section of the shoe shop! :)
who buys nikes anyhows? they are awful! or am i just getting old???
Not only should Nike 'Air Stab' trainers be banned, but also the word 'stab' should be deleted from the dictionary, and forcibly removed from everyday lingo. Similar sanctions should be imposed upon the words 'Hack', 'Slash' and 'Gouge'. In addition, we should also take serious action against anyone moving their hand in a jerky forwards motion, as it may be construed as 'stabbing practice'.
Only when all of this has been achieved will we have protected our children and our children's children from getting an almighty stabbing. I blame a pair of shoes for all of society's ills.
point your foot in the direction of your victim, tap your heel twice and see them on the ground in a hale of bullets from the integrated mini machine gun.
Jeez, grow up people.
You'll take my anthrax laden assault trainers when your pry them off my cold, dead feet!
Knife crime will continue to increase becouse as a nation we are incompetent.
Why do children commit crime?
They are bored. Get home from school, nobodies about, nothing to do, bored of their games, bored of school, bored of the humdrum pointlessness of it all. Nothing to do.
They go hang out with their mate. It's a laugh.
They and their mates become bored. They make some fun.
They drink, take drugs and come up with ways to make things more interesting, berating passers by, acting tough.
This behaviour ups the ante, other groups of bored teens looking to look tough go around looking for groups to have a barny with. Verbal starts, violence breaks out, people get a kicking, people go home.
Groups of kids get home, bit hurt, bit bruised, want some payback, want some protection, want a penis extension. They get weapons, next time they're out they're tooled up. Run into another group again, this time the weapons scare the other guys a way, someone takes a thrashing from a bike chain.
The other group gets tooled up, now you're looking at full grown parties, seige mentality kicks in, people protecting their turf, the kid and their mates are well full of themselves by now, harrasing folk, being tough, smashing windows, doing their thing. One day some guy f--ks them off, he fights back or doesn't hand over his junk. Guy gets killed. That's that. Or tehy meet another group and it all gets out of hand.
Society stopped taking responsibility. Locking folk up wont stop that cycle, but it's the only way for many, their too deep into the mentality, the siege and terretorial mentality, it's a base instinct after all and infects the mind pretty quick. You go from a normal person to a predatory pack member in days.
The problem? Nothing to do.
The biggest solutions would be after school clubs (as they have in Japan and to an extent in the states - where you are expected to join a club, the clubs are run by students and mentored by a teacher) but in Britain we'd never give students that kind of freedom or responsibility and schools just a dungeon anyway. Western society presses the idea that being good and intelligent are undesirable traits, it stresses that aggression and rebellion are the ways to get what you want.
The second solution is more out of school clubs and facilities, but the problem here is 2 fold, cost - our government would sooner spend 20 billion on ID cards then 4 billion on after school and weekend activities.
The second problem being that we have become obsessed with the notion of sex offenders, nobody wants to work with children accept people who have little credibility with them and think very much inside the box and government requirments makes those who may be interested in helping unable to do so. As someone mentioned on another thread about a village judo school.
A general problem is the media and society being willing to be retarded - as this article once again proves.
People need hobbies, obsessions, distractions - sports, science, litrature, games, technology. They need like minded people, but it's too late for most teenagers, for our school system, for the future.
When Tony Blair said "tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime" we believed him, but it seems his concept of cause was freedom not opportunity.
O well, what ever.
Personally, I hadn't even noticed these were on the market. I was looking forward to the Air Rape model. My running partner is still deciding between Air Pillage and Air Murder.
The atrocity here is not that stab reflects violence and death. The problem is that some (payed) jackass has the imagination to pair "stab" with shoes to form a sort of marketing ploy and Nike followed through with it!
Yeah, a 10% reduction in crime is such a big problem.
Johnny 5 was a killbot, he had a Nike swoosh on him, so clearly they have links to violent bringers of lasery-death.
Each group outraged more than the last... Otherwise they wouldn't make the papers.
Does it come with a flick out knife a la Rosa Klebb in from 'Russia with Love'?
v. stabbed, stab·bing, stabs
3. To make a thrusting or poking motion at or into: stabbed the air with his fingers.
Courtesy of http://www.thefreedictionary.com/stab
56 fatal stabbings in London alone?
While it's obviously horrific to the families of the deceased, the truth is, Britain is still a very safe place, if you're in such a tizz about that figure.
56 dead sounds like a bad (yet not uncommon) Friday night at Chris Hani Baragwanath hospital (Johannesburg, South Africa). One night, one hospital. And half of those would have been gunshots, not knives.
One of my paramedic friends told me of the exchange program they had with an English hospital. The paramedic they got was very fearful/excited when they were called out to a GSW on his first trip. He'd only ever attended to one of these in all his years in England.
By the end of the first evening, he'd seen so many that he became as blasé as the South African paramedics.
I think its a good name, its quite hard to stab someone with a trainer. It could be worse, they could have released a Nike Knife called Stab - that would at least be justified hysteria.
Besides, why not use other name, like Nike Rape, Nike Murder or better still Nike Kidnap'n'torture.. i mean, if your going to start something, you may aswell go all the way and have a general theme. You could sell a few hundred before they get banned by public pressure.
"They were named before all the recent problems."
Glaswegians know that knife crime has been at a horrific level in the UK for a loooong time. But not in London, apparently, so the parochial London media treats it as a recent phenomenon when it's not.
Yeah, they're all a bunch of Air Soles
reading your comment makes me think that perhaps Nike should call the trainnees (as they apparently call them around here) the "Nike ShitStabbers".
As this probably won't make it past the El Reg censors, I'll just get my coat and leave quietly ...
Air Stabilisers, when I was a kid I had a pair of stabs on my bike and had the piss taken out of me. But when I was a kid I had the piss taken out of me for my bacon 2.99 trainers with the authentic hard plastic on tarmac slap. I think Mothercare should re-brand their toddler walkabout as deluxe child stabilisers, maybe something a bit shorter.
The prosthetic limbs that athletes use for the Paralympic track events, etc., are referred to as "blades" (google Oscar Pistorius). Fatima, et al's, vilification of blade-inspired ambulatory aids is the height of insensitivity towards those that use them.
This is getting stupid . Whats next are Blizz going to remove my backstab ability ? oh nooooeeeessss !
"With the current gun and knife epidemic that is sweeping our country we would expect retailers to be taking a more sensitive approach to promoting products to a young and impressionable market.”
Actually, there aren't any statistics for knife crime that show such a trend, since police only started recording "knife crime" last year. And today was the first time such figures have been released.
"Because this is the first time we have such data this says nothing about the trend in such crime," said the Home Office's Scientific Advisor Paul Wiles.
The swoosh on Nike shoes reminds me of a machete and I would feel threatened if I were at Terminal 5 with a passenger wearing them.
Not sure which would be worse, that or a Transformers T-shirt.
woe-betide the poor film director who shouts 'cut'!
Well, they *will* be having problems with their bike range now if any Daily Mail hacks read El Reg.
My mower has a 20" BLADE. A 20" blade I tell you!
Three cheers to you sir, for stating what should be bleedin' obvious to anyone with the power of rational thought. The papers & TV have huge self-fulfilling prophecy power - house prices rising/falling, panic buying, knife crime, you name it, they hype it to fuck, then away we go. When did people start believing TV was more real than their own experience? I think that for many people the television has become their main experience of life....
Mines the one with the handbasket with the "To Hell" address label
...often use high PR value "outrages" like this to raise the profile of the charity itself. I can't really say I blame them.
This particular instance however is, I have to say, cock of the poppiest variety.
And surely the bottle, in utilising a trigger mechanism, is a direct incitement to commit gun grime... errr...
Paris - I'd ban... oh never mind.
And computers cant be said to "crash" any more because so many people are killed in car and plane crashes?
This is the dumbest thing I've heard since the "kids who say yuk are racist" thing.
"With the current gun and knife epidemic that is sweeping our country"
There is no 'epidemic', just as the previous problem was pedophiles and before that immigrants, the modern media has latched on to knife crime as the current 'problem' as it sells papers.
Apparently, according to the media, your going to get mugged, stabbed or abducted the second you step out your door these days, despite the fact that statistically your safer than you've ever been.
It's the idiot peoples own fault though, stop reading dreck and the red tops and feeding this hysteria cycle that does more damage than good.
I'm still waiting for the Swiss Army Shoe.
I'm suprised the country isn't panicked at the thought of all the kiddies playing about with the 'blades' on their xbox interface.
I presume that this means the end to blade servers and the Motorola RAZR too. To be on the safe side, I've deleted /etc/fstab before the thought police get here.
Anyway, if 'air stab' is anything like 'air guitar', it will just involve miming without the knives, so is absolutely harmless.
I demand the implementation of newspeak immediately to put an end to all of these problems.
Also, when did the amount of knife and gun crime reach "epidemic" levels?
Please ban stuff like the canon powershot as well.
When the media calls for a ban on hands. They can be used to strangle people you know.
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