back to article Baptist church in assault rifle giveaway

An Oklahoma baptist church has insisted it will proceed with its controversial plan to give away an AR-15 semiautomatic assault rifle* during a youth conference - a move described as "a way of trying to encourage young people to attend the event", according to local Koko 5 news. Windsor Hills Baptist apparently has a history …


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    Godly Rifles

    So this is how they intend to stop Gay & Women Bishops...

    Fight for the law!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Jesus Army.....

    .....have Kalashnikov's for Christ.

    I always wondered which was more dangerous, guns or religion. Putting the 2 together, Wow!

  3. Robb Dunphy

    Guns and God

    That fun mix that you find in America. They are "nice god fearing people who love everyone" but strangely enough love having their guns.

    Bit of a contradiction. Then again look at what they believe in and it all makes sense.

  4. Gordon Pryra

    Am I allowed to state my personal view?

    Which is "Fucking Morons"

  5. Anonymous Coward

    US heading for civil war

    I'll give it 15 years before they start killing each other.

  6. Secretgeek

    And lo...

    He transformed her into a pillar of (as)salt (rifles). Bob 3(ii)

    Mine's the one that says 'I'm going to hell' on it.

  7. Hugh_Pym

    Please god....

    ..."injured his foot and wouldn’t be able to attend"...

    .. Tell me he shot himself in the foot.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Boondock Saints

    now makes a whole lot of sense.

    Connor, Murphy, Il Duce: And shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.

    Il Duce: In nomine Patri.

    Connor: Et Fili.

    Murphy: Spiritus Sancti.

    [they execute Yakavetta]

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    You couldn't make it up!! Funnies thing I've read in ages.

    On a serious note, should you really be giving away assault rifles to obviously irrational, deranged, easily led people who are clearly incapable of applying a degree of common sense to their daily lives and who can't separate reality from fantasy?

    I would suggest not.

  10. Anonymous Coward

    And now, a reading from the Book of Armaments

    ...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." ... etc

  11. Tim Russell

    Gun not used for killing ?

    [quote]My goodness, we’re putting a weapon in the hand of somebody that doesn’t respect it who are then going to go out and kill.[/quote]

    What other F***ing use has a gun apart from killing things? Intentionally shooting to injure is against the Geneva convention as it is classed as torture, doing as a person I'm not sure, but it will certainly mean the person you shot can answer back in court. (Read

  12. Anonymous Coward


    I'm no gun nut but even I know this is not an assault rifle. That AR15 is not an assault rifle, which are illegal in the US. It is only capable of firing a single round at a time, not multiple rounds. The mechanism is almost completely different and would need to be replaced in order to make it an assault rifle.

    It may look remarkably like a military rifle used since the 1960's but most hunting rifles look remarkably like and in some cases are exactly the same as military rifles used in WWI and WWII. Why is it acceptable to own something that looks like an M1 Garand, but not something that looks like an M16?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    I am pro-gun, anti-religion

    Not really sure who to vote for :-(

  14. Doug Glass
    Thumb Up

    Strictly Speaking

    The commercial version of the M-16 is not a genuine assault weapon since, for one thing, it doesn't have selective fire. It's classified as such only in legalistic circles. But that's splitting hairs maybe. But it disturbs the liberals and that's good enough for me.

    Personally I prefer the Barrett Light Fifty sniper rifle and the mantra inspired by sniping, "You can run, but you'll only die tired".

    Bring it on........

  15. Doug Glass
    Thumb Up

    Just a Tab of Clarification

    The AR-15 is a lightweight, air-cooled, gas-operated, magazine-fed, semi-automatic, centerfire, shoulder-fired rifle. The original ArmaLite/Colt AR-15 was a selective-fire prototype submitted for consideration as a military infantry rifle, which was later adopted as the M16, and is distinguished from later civilian-model AR-15 rifles marketed by Colt Firearms. Currently, AR-15 is a generic term for a widely-owned[1] civilian semi-automatic rifle similar to the military M16/M4-type weapons.

    Therefore, Commercial M-16 = AR-15

    Need to keep my hobby arms straight.

  16. Anonymous Coward

    This article

    Has left me more than ever wanting to buy an island somewhere and get away from humanity. I hope that they give some sort of competency test before doling out the rifles. If any of these rifles are ever used in crimes, I hope they hold this organization responsible for being 'enablers'.

  17. Doug Glass
    Thumb Up

    Civil War Rev.1

    RE: US heading for civil war

    Yeah, we took lessons from Northern Ireland. And if it happens, you blokes can have the land back.

  18. Anonymous John

    So what's new?

    "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition."

    Mine's the one with the shoulder holster.

  19. Mr Fury
    IT Angle

    Be interesting to see...

    How many of their kids turn into rabid killers vs, say, your average inner city London comprehensive...

    Anyway, it's always amusing to see pig-ignorant views on gun ownership by my fellow Brits, nothing like a bit of ex-colonial arrogance to wake me up - its that kind of thing that made Britain what it is today!

  20. Anonymous Coward

    Guns, morons, religion

    um. Where's Webster? Surely this is home-town-land for him.

  21. Blacklight


    Didn't someone issue a commandment reading "Thou shalt not kill"?

    Ah, interpretation ftw. Or maiming, depending on actual end uses of said firearms...

  22. GottaBeKidding

    Praise the lord and pass the ammunition!

    As the widely misattributed quote goes.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I now pronounce thee

    ... man and rifle, you may now kiss the bride.

    And everyone knows the uzi 9mm is the favored weapon for the God squad drive-by/cook out events ... Sheesh!

  24. frank

    Thou shalt not kill*

    * terms and conditions apply. The value of this statement may go down as well as up.

  25. Tam Lin
    Thumb Down

    Religious psychopaths (I know, I'm repeating myself)

    This is why the Taliban have modeled themselves so closely to Bush's Suicide Baptists.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And all in the name of God

    who, like Santa ... doesn't really exist kiddies!

  27. Anonymous Coward


    I thought this article was the funniest thing I had read in ages, until I got to this comment:

    "I hope that they give some sort of competency test before doling out the rifles."

    Which beats the article for humour hands down

  28. Dave

    @ Mr Fury

    Well, it is always amusing, in a horrific sort of way, to read the pig-ignorant views on gun ownership of Yanks who should know better - nothing like a little ex-colonial arrogance to make us all feel grateful. (Surely it is them over the pond who are ex-colonials ?)

  29. Nemo Metis

    Onward Christian Soldiers.....

    So, not only do we have half the country worried that their next president is going to be the anti-christ (i'm still waiting on how they got to that one), but they're also letting the churches arm the kids. is it just me, or can anyone else here Janet Reno in the background shouting for tanks?

    mine's the one with highway to hell on the back....

  30. Alan Mellor
    Thumb Down

    Sorry, couldn't see the IT / Paris Hilton angle for all the religion bashing

    This might be (non-IT or Paris) news in the UK, where it is illegal to own a firearm without a licence, and where such a licence would be tricky (impossible? dunno - never tried) to get if you're a teenager. But in the US, where IIRC it is everyone's right to bear arms (is that right?) then I can't see what you've got here. In a country where owning a gun raises no more of a legal eyebrow than owning a chocolate bar, I don't see why giving one away as a prize is newsworthy. Maybe a little ill-advised in some respects, but that certainly wasn't the tone of your article.

    I note that the organisation doing the giving was religious. Your writing shows that you view these people as a group clearly different to you, that you do not appear to like nor respect them, and that you evidently feel rather superior to them.

    Maybe I am the only one here who thinks this, but I think Register articles would be improved significantly by not mixing Bytes with Bigotry.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How very Old Testament

    Can any of you religious types point me to one, just one bit in the New Testament where Jesus recants the "turning the other cheek" bit and suggests reducing your enemies to bloodied chunks of meat instead? Anybody?

  32. Mark

    Women Bishops.

    Well, will there be less bashing of Bishops when women are allowed in? That's what *I* want to know!

  33. P Saunders

    Guns don't kill people...

    Marilyn Manson kills people. Just ask the kids at Columbine. Firearm + American Youth = Weapon of Mass Destruction.

    Paris afetr the gun nuts get ahold o' her.

  34. Julian

    It's a Baptism of Firepower

    Well, those US Baptists sure know how to dunk themselves in controversy.

    But it's not like that's unusual, I've known of Texan Baptist churches that have given away rifles in raffles (perhaps the pronunciation in Texan drawl makes for a natural connection ;-) ). Or maybe it's just more like they think the second amendment applies to the Bible even more than the US Constitution.

    Or to quote from a recent theological commentator "They preach the Gospel, but they depart from it."

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Some lessons there though

    If we had a heavily armed electorate as in the US does anyone think that Gordon Broon would treat us with as much contempt as he currently does?

    Mines the one with the target over the Gordon McBroon silhouette....

  36. Steve Evans

    Good greif...

    Surely it's easier to get teenagers in by just giving away free alcohol... Or am is my 30 something year old brain total lost and out of touch?

  37. Simon C

    your all missing the point

    unless lucky child has a copy of manhunt or mario brothers for that matter at his home, this will never be seen as a wierd thing.

    Throw in a handful of general release computer game titles and we have God arming the raging psychopaths that have been indoctrinated by the playstation generation.

    As for 15 years till the US civil war....aint they started killin each other already?

    God Bless america...well lets face it, if the almighty dont, theres gonna one hell of a shitstorm there soon.

    Mines the one with Atheists Angels on the back.

  38. Stu

    I'm waiting for the...

    ...GTA style crime and killing spree.

    You see, we're all looking for that special someone, these folks thinks its Jesus reincarnated.

    "God told me to do it, here, he even gave me the gun to do it with."

  39. Stephan Samuel

    Let go, it's over

    232 years and the Redcoats are still complaining about how we realized that the right to own guns is granted by God and not the Magna Carta. This, my friends, is why (and how) we won that war.

    Listen to Alan and stick to IT or Paris.

  40. Dark Hippo

    hmm... a friend of mine foresaw the future...

  41. Kane Silver badge

    @ Alan Mellor

    Ok, here's the skinny...

    1) The article is filed under "Bootnotes", hence no IT/Paris angle.

    2) See 1) above.

    Personally, I like a sprinkling of bigotry with my bytes. Makes for a more interesting meal....(mmm, crunchy!!)

  42. Michael
    Dead Vulture

    at least they're not giving away knives...

    .....daily mail would have a field-day (no pun, or artillery referrences)

    Maybe this IS a good idea: *(production of a weapon is regarded as intention of use-which means you can shoot them first in "self defence" )

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    'Raise the lord

    Quote "My goodness, we’re putting a weapon in the hand of somebody that doesn’t respect it who are then going to go out and kill"

    Aha. Handing out firearms to fundamentalists as part of a recruitment programme is a perfectly good way to spread peace through the land.

    I wonder if it was an american mosque doing it, how soon everyone would be being tazered, and given a free goodwill trip to Guantanamo Bay?

    @Alan Mellor

    "Maybe I am the only one here who thinks this, but I think Register articles would be improved significantly by not mixing Bytes with Bigotry."

    Possibly you are, judging by the number and tone of responses.

  44. Stuart Barnett

    Mis-application of sanity

    "If Congress, back when our country was fighting for its independence could give engraved muskets to the fifteen or so eleven year old boys that their teacher, Mr. Akins, led into battle against the British, then we can give away a firearm still today, especially since our Supreme Court just re-emphasized our Second Amendment rights."

    Nothing like taking 200 hundred years for taking things out of context.

    Or does the 'War on Terror' [Copyright of the Bush Administration] entitle these church -cough- men to equip their children for this new Crusade?

  45. Mr Fury


    Yeah, my bad, I meant to say colonial *powers*

    However, trying to see any pig-ignorant views of Yanks and sadly cannot... Plenty of British arrogance mixed in with some genuinely amusing comments though.

    Gun ownership is a complex debate, but the utterly one-dimensional view of Americans and the curious lumping them as one bloc really is quite sad. We get all snotty when some American thinks Birmingham is a suburb of London, yet when we show our ignorance of their side of the Atlantic it's somehow okay?

  46. Roger Pearse

    Before we sneer...

    ...let's remember that we in Britain are living in a society where ordinary people have few rights and those in power force us to undergo every kind of indignity. I doubt that the USA could post cameras at every street corner, if only because the free citizens would shoot them up.

  47. Isabello
    Paris Hilton

    @Steve Evans - ah but...

    ...isn't it illegal to drink in some (most) states under the age of 21?

    "AR-15 & a coke please mister"

    Paris because even she would have more sense

  48. Andy H

    @Alan Mellor

    Although there is no direct IT / Paris angle to the article. It's interesting none the less. The humour of the article comes the point that Christianity is meant to be a peaceful religion. Turn the other cheek, love thy neighbour etc. So for a Church to give-away gun is funny, in a very sad way.

    Plus with it being down south where there is a tendency to be extremely bigoted, just makes it funnier (or more tragic).

    To Quote, Rev Clarkson of the church of the latter day motorist, in regard to his journey down south "They've shot their own sign, what are they doing to do to us?"

  49. shay mclachlan

    @Good greif..

    Are you crazy? Possession of liquor is illegal for under 21's in many parts of America. The righteous teenage baptist yoof need the rifles to shoot the ungodly badass teenage boozers.

  50. Nick

    What's next?

    Now all I need is for Santa to bring me a Glock and the Easter Bunny to give me a bayonet and I'll have the whole set.

    Mine's the one with the kevlar dog collar.


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