back to article No sense of humour? Avoid Bootnotes

It's come to our attention that, while having provided years and years and years of non-IT-related merriment for you, our beloved readers, our Bootnotes section continues, despite containing headlines such as "NZ finds Black Cocks hard to swallow", "Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog" and indeed "Woman gets mobile …


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  1. Simon Painter
    IT Angle


    where's the IT angle, eh, I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards

  2. Steve
    IT Angle

    IT angle?

    I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards

    You asked for it.

  3. Anonymous Coward


    to sell my kids into slavery last time! AND YOU DIDN'T YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Their still there, leaching off my wallet, lounging in MY chair, eating me out of house & home and drinking my beer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You did, you PROMISED!!!!!!

  4. Stew Wilson


    New Reg readers in no-sense-of-humour shocker! Youtube videos of people *not having fun* within!

    As the old saying goes, "Fuck'em if they can't take a joke."

  5. StillNoCouch

    Where's the IT Angle ?

    Couldn't help myself.

  6. Jacob Reid

    ok, but...

    Where's the Paris Hilton angle?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Well said..

    I also get furious when I find sport in my newspaper. Luckily the particular broadsheet I read quarentines it away from the real news in an easy to thow-away section.

    Immediate disposal of this item in an exaggerated and public manner is a great way of attracting women, I have found, who understandably are suspicious of men who immediately (on seeing a headline on the front page suggesting we are all goig to die within the next fifteen minutes or that hemlines are going down again this year) immediately scan through the paper to find the pictures of fit men in shorts.

    As for bootnotes? Well, although it can be blocked with a simple proxy rule I have yet to find a way of using this technique to attract members of the opposite sex.

  8. Daniel du Preez

    I for one... disappointed at the lack of NSFW content in this article, given the nice red NSFW tag.

  9. Dangermouse

    Why classed as NSFW?


    I can only find one direct reference to sex, and one swearword. If that now means that these sort of articles should be classed as NSFW, then The Register shall be removed from my etc etc etc, fought in 4 world wars, grumble, grumble, old tyres for shoes, 85 miles to school in winter, mutter...don't know they were born.


    Col Reginald Mutterington-Oldfart (Rtd), 1st CannonFodder Rifles

    Tunbridge Wells

  10. David Rollinson
    IT Angle

    What's the IT angle?

    ...but I did like "fucktards"; keep up the good work!

  11. Sam Kirkpatrick


    "Cue a (very polite, I hasten to add) email..."

    Oh good grief! Here we go again!

  12. Dalek13
    Thumb Up


    I, for one, welcome our animal fancying, orifice buzzing, nipple festooned, lego-based overlords!

  13. Steve Mason


    sorry for the caps, but


    I have nothing more to say.. if you don't like it, don't read it.

    PS. Fucktards was coined by me over a year ago, and I demand royalties ;)

    PPS. I am now putting together a "Motivation Poster", so fasionable these days, of a Monolith with the caption "The Internet: My God! It's full of tards!"

  14. Anonymous Coward

    Go on i the first?!

    where's the IT angle, eh, I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards!

    Only kidding, keep up the good work :)

  15. Damn Yank

    Amen to that!

    Well played..

  16. Graham Dawson

    This is all good and well...

    ... but where's the love?

  17. Andy

    Football section can be as funny as bootnotes. Sometimes

    It's ironic really - the football pages are quite funny atr the moment thanks to Liverpool having a board or directors that loathe each other, you'd probably enjoy ready the footy section today.

    Or remember this classic photo of Ashley Cole in the sports pages:

  18. Simon
    IT Angle

    Where's the ...

    <ouch>Stop that!<grrngg>

    put me down! I didn't mean it



  19. Neil
    IT Angle


    The icon says it all, really.

  20. brian
    IT Angle

    Where's the IT angle?

    I'm shocked that there is a possibility that my crack-den might be turned into a house and given to a white, english, indigenous native of these islands.

    At least wait until we've finished our roast swans & the football section.

  21. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Cue???

    That is the correct use of 'cue'.

    Please shush.

  22. Mike Crawshaw


    where's the IT angle, eh, I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards!!

    Oh. Chuck Norris, you say? Deeply sorry, old chap, I, er, thought I was on Slashdot...

  23. Inspector_Morse
    Paris Hilton

    Don't beat about the bush, Lester....

    ... tell us what will really happen to the first 'where's the IT angle' poster.

    Paris, because she doesn't have a bush to beat around.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bye bye "IT angle"

    Good on you, I am sick and tired of posts with an IT angle...

    I don't work in this industry to want to read about it :p

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Sweet Jesus, how can I resist

    Where the f@ck is the fokking IT angle.....

    (ear cocked, waiting for black helicopters and sound of CN coming down zip line to dispense said justice....)

    Paris because she always changes ITs angle.......

    I'll get me dribble-proof mac...

  26. Ben

    NSFW - RSS

    Do you think you could mabey not include all the rude naughty bits in the RSS feed sumary. I'm luck at my place as i don't use the proxy but i guess thats not the case everywhere?

    Anyway, bootnotes, I love bootnotes!

  27. Iain
    Paris Hilton


    I personally find it utterly ridiculous that a well respected source of informative and entertaining current affairs such as "" should find it necessary to engage it's formidable phalanx of mental power in constructing an article which pandered to the whining content-nazis (and yes I am aware of Godwin's Law and believe that it too was invented by the same people who continually complain and use the comments page for vitriolic and non-sensical rants which seem to meander on and on and on and never actually come to a conclusion or indeed a sensible point and ignore any form of grammar or punctuation except where totally inappropriate and fill up valuable space on ""'s servers and I just have to ask myself why oh why oh why can't there be some sensible IT oriented content on demand when I want it now I want it now give it to me now. I am now thoroughly disgusted and my bookmarks will be 0.5kb (approx.) lighter.

  28. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  29. James Condron

    Ah yes,

    Another piece where Lester Haines gets in a mood and decides to use the new El Reg blog service to go after critics. Soon Haines will do a Dawkins and release a book slamming everyone who disagreed over the last so many years... the IT Delusion perhaps? Not as snappy a title, of course, but I'm no writer.

  30. Tim


    They're the main reason I read The Reg!

  31. Edwin
    Thumb Up

    @Steve Mason

    That has to be the best idea I've heard all week.

    I'll have one when you're done!

  32. Joe K

    *holds handbag* Ooooooooooooooo!

    Well! Someone never got a chance to go out for the traditional Friday liquid lunch this afternoon.

    Meetings all day, eh Lester?

  33. Slaine

    We don't need no steenking IT angle (on Fridays)

    Haaaaaaaarrrrumphhh, <clears throat twice for good measure and adopts a really deep gravelly voice before booming> I didn't fight in two world wars just to sit here typing, "I didn't fight in two world wars".

    No really, I didn't fight in two world wars. I'm all about peace and love, and really bad eggs, and the pictures of sweet Paris. Such a lovely city.

  34. preethi
    Paris Hilton

    The IT angle is in.....

    the way this new reaches us. So i for one have no complaints.

    As for the Paris Hilton angle, my mind is always there.

  35. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Ah yes,

    'El Reg blog service'?

  36. Anonymous Coward

    NSFW = Not Suitable for Whiners

    RE: those picking up on NSFW. Unless you've a browser from the dark ages you might have noticed the dotted line underneath the abbreviation NSFW indicating in this case "Not Suitable for Whiners". It's a joke... in Bootnotes... whatever next!

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    RE: @Disgusted

    On this side of the pond, we prefer to refer to this sites address as ""

  38. Anonymous Coward

    More please!

    Give me more titillation please, compooters are booring!


  39. Kane Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    @ Steve Mason Re:My God! It's full of tards!

    Nice! Once I get home I'll be on the old photoshop knocking one out!

    Paris, cos she knows how to knock one out...

  40. Aditya Krishnan
    Paris Hilton

    IT? What IT?

    Took me three weeks to realise that this was *supposed* to be an IT site... first thing I ever read on Le Reg was a BOFH piece back in '06.

    Paris, cos she prolly doesn't know either.

  41. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: NSFW = Not Suitable for Whiners

    Congratulations, Anonymous Coward! A nice cold one* to you for being the first to spot that.

    *Please note this comment does not entitle the recipient to a nice cold one

  42. Jamie
    Paris Hilton

    As per your comments

    Where is the Paris nip slip???

    Paris cause you have never seen enough of her nips.

  43. Kevin Crisp

    @ Steve Mason

    SO Fucktards was YOUR fault.

    It should be fuckards - this works much better; try:

    "Fuck the fucking fuckards/fucktards" - the first rolls off the tongue so much more easily.

    Of course, nothing can beat "fuck the fucking fuckers"

    Linux Penguin - because he's the fucking greatest.

  44. Anonymous Coward

    Steve Mason re fucktard

    sorry someone I know has been using it since at least 2003. expect the writ in the post.

  45. Hans
    Paris Hilton

    Banging on

    Couldn't give a fuck about the lack if IT angle, but I would like to object strongly to this line

    <quote> "people banging on and on and on and on and on"

    Who exactly are these people, and how come they are able to bang so much when I'm lucky if I can get it once a month, in summer only!

    C'mon Reg, respect the fact that some readers are less fortunate than others in the banging department, no need to rub our noses in it.

    Paris, because she knows a lot about banging and if she'd care to come and teach me I'd willingly defend her honour against the army of El Reg fucktards who maliciously malign her.

  46. Rusty Warrior

    Where's the IT angle?

    In the corner with Paris probably...

  47. Hans

    and another thing - Bootnotes

    The word Bootnotes makes me think of Bootcamps

    Bootcamps ---->Jackboots

    Jackboots -----> Nazi goose-stepping

    Nazi goose-stepping -----> where's the Max Mosely icon?

  48. Big_Boomer

    I'm not ALONE!

    Lester, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for enlightening me to that fact that I am not the only human male in the UK who finds football (soccer for our NA allies) dull, boring and a pointless waste of truly vast sums of money. At least in Rugby & American Football there is some form of manly violence rather than the airyfairy prancings of a bunch of overpaid wimps who fall over as soon as their bootlace contacts something. That said I'd rather watch

    Some friends and I came up with an excellent theory many years ago w.r.t. the nature of collective intelligence. To whit, intelligence is combined the same as resistors in parallel. Take 2 people with IQ's of 120 each and their combined IQ drops to 60. for 3 such people the combined IQ is 40 and so on. This explains the stupidity of gang behaviour and a great many other thing sin life. So, you can probably see that the combined IQ of a full football stadium so closely approaches 1 as to be all but indistinguishable. :-)

    As for the non-IT content,....who cares. I've spent all week IT-ing and all I need now is my weekly dose of BOFH and I can go home happy!

    Merry Weekend everyone!

  49. Richard

    @Sarah Bee

    The red dots actually show Not Safe for Whiners

  50. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: @Sarah Bee

    Yes. What's your point?


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