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back to article NZ man uses hedgehog as ninja star

A 27-year-old New Zealand man has been charged with assault after using a hedgehog as an improvised ninja star against a 15-year-old, NZ's Sunday Herald reports. Cops allege that Whakatane resident William Singalargh scooped up the unfortunate creature and threw it about five metres at his unnamed target on 9 February. Senior …

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  1. Sceptical Bastard

    A Pirana brother?

    Dinsdale was convinced that he was being watched by a giant hedgehog whom he referred to as 'Spiny Norman'.

    Only in El Reg! Brightened my morning.

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  2. R Callan
    Linux

    Dangerous hedgehogs.

    Could you claim that the culprit was spineless, but the victim anything but?

    OT don't ask how to pronounce Whakatane, this is a family website :-) (cowardly kiwi from nearby).

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  3. Michael O'Malley
    Joke

    Poor old hedgehog

    The article does not specify what the fifteen year old was, so I assume it was a hedgehog. That's pretty old for a hedgehog. No wonder it was found to be dead afterwards, suffering a reddened leg and a shock like that. I wonder if the thrown hedgehog was OK?

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  4. Dave
    Coat

    Pah!

    What a bunch of pricks

    Mine's the spiky one.

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  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @R Callan

    I think Whakatane is pretty innocuous really. Its a good job this incident wasn't in that noted South Island beauty-spot and ski location, Wanaka.

    ;-)

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  6. Sam

    Singalargh?

    Any relation to Hodgesaargh the Falconer?

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  7. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    DINSDALE!! DINSDALE!!

    Mine's the thorny one, thanks...

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  8. Wize

    Are the going to reclasify hedgehogs as dangerous animals?

    Will you need a licence to have one in your garden?

    Will they require muzzling in public (or a cork on each spike)?

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  9. XML slave
    Coat

    Suddenly it seems...

    Sonic the Hedgehog is not nearly as dangerous to a raving mad scientist as was previously concluded. The little fellow can't even kill a teenage with his speed and spines. How does he expect to take on the worlds Meglomaniacs?

    Mine's the one with SEGA on it...

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  10. Kevikus Mordren D'lonzo III
    Joke

    Sonic

    I wonder if it made a megadrive style spin-dash sound effect?

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  11. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Police brutality!

    " [ ... ] it was dead when it was collected as evidence [ ...] "

    Yeh, right. I bet it was fine when they picked it up, until it "accidentally" hit its head climbing into the police van and then "fell down the stairs" when it got to the station...

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  12. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    well, Terry Pratchett was wrong

    It seems that "the hedgehog can never be buggered at all" doesn't quite stand up to recent evidence. Although kiwis are usually known to go for sheep, but in this case the protagonist was obviously looking for a challenge (either that or he was, in fact, a fakir)

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  13. Ishkandar
    Joke

    @well, Terry Pratchett was wrong AC

    Actually, he's a masochist....muttered something through his teeth about "no pleasure without pain..."

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  14. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    We must ban video games...

    Obviously he was inspired to do this from playing one of the 'Sonic the Hedgehog' titles...

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  15. Grey

    Sonic...

    Sonic the Hedgehog unavailable for comment. Dr. Robotnik to be questioned...

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  16. J
    Flame

    Whakatane?

    Beautiful name, really... (wackotane? whackamole?)

    Great, another thing they'll ban me from taking into the airplane! Bugger...

    Are those flames or spikes?

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  17. Spoonguard
    Flame

    Fokker-ta-nay.

    That is a flame.

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  18. Jon Tocker

    For the Continentals:

    Depending on which tribe you're listening to, "Wh" can approximate to an "F" sound, the a's are a short "ah" sound not too unlike the u in "stuck" (for anyone except for certain poms who pronounce that word to rhyme with "book" and the e is pronounced like the one in "get".

    So one could phonetically render it as something like "Fah kah tah neh" - say it fast enough and you'll understand what R Callan was talking about.

    Incidentally, in other news a car rental company caused a bit of a stir with one of their advertising billboards:

    "The billboard, featured three images of road signs with place names beginning with whaka - Whakatane, Whakamaru and Whakamoa.

    Next to the pictures the billboard said "Rent a car from only $25.00 a day so you can visit any whaka.""

    They took it down after a complaint was received...

    More here: http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/4454041a11.html

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  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    For the record...

    It's pronounced "Fuck-a-taan-E" (the e pronounced as if reading it in the alphabet).

    That's why everyone was making sly asides.

    @Simon Holt - Wanaka? I assume you were trying for "Wanker"? Missed by a mile mate. It's pronounced "One-a-ka".

    And as for throwing a hedgehog, hey - some people use broken glass bottles. Others use small spiky mammals. It's just a difference.

    Kona ra folks.

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  20. Matthew
    Alert

    pronunciation

    whakatane = fuka-tah-nay

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  21. James Henstridge

    place names

    When I went to NZ, I was reliably informed that the town name "Whakapapa" is not actually funny.

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  22. Damian Gabriel Moran

    oh well

    won't be long before hedgehogs are banned in this country then!

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  23. Rhys
    Thumb Down

    @ Damien G M

    Sooner they're dead the better.

    Bloody little pommy spikers eat the birds eggs.

    The only native mammals are a couple of species of bats, so a lot of native birds lay their eggs on the ground in nests in clumps of long grass, right where hungry egg-loving hedgepigs can find a meal.

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