This guy's a genius.
He managed to be both the plaintiff and the defendant and no-one noticed until the garden received the bill.
He may be a loon, but he's a loon with some serious balls!
A lawsuit has been filed in Hawaii in an attempt to hold up the start of operations by the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) atom-smasher on the French-Swiss border. A colourful American botanist, teacher, former biologist and sometime physicist says (in outline) that the LHC may rip a hole in the fabric of the space-time continuum …
You have a little giggle at Mr Wagner's description of "Generva, Switzerland" and then drop a clanger of your own by saying "unescapable" instead of "inescapable."
And yes, that is the most dangerous thing in that article. Mr Wagner seems the type to suggest that we would all be wiped away by the enormous gravitational forces of all the planets being aligned with the sun at a single moment. Last time it happened, a couple of years back, Patrick Moore very snottily explained that the gravitational effects would be about the same as a bus passing your front door.
Which isn't far from what the boffins at CERN appear to have said.
So the Swiss get sucked into the vortex with their mountains plugging the hole to save the rest of us. With Switzerland annihilated there will be nowhere for aviators to march too when shot down in the ensuing land grab of Euro-War XXVVXII, what with the existing border countries having been stretched by a few hundred miles to carpet over what will be known as the Swiss Gap.
Go as in gone, bye, tata, etc to the Swiss
Surely a more Wagnarian scenarios would be that the strangelet-custard conversion and monopole transmutation threats causes the manifestation of large breasted women on flying horses who drag us through the black hole into a giant hall where we spend the rest of eternity feasting!
Bring it on!
"I Hope so Blackadder.
You know, if there's one thing I've learned from being in the army, it's never ignore a pooh-pooh.
I knew a major: got pooh-poohed; made the mistake of ignoring the pooh-pooh -- he pooh-poohed it.
Fatal error, because it turned out all along that the soldier who pooh-poohed him had been pooh-poohing a lot of other officers, who pooh-poohed their pooh-poohs.
In the end, we had to disband the regiment -- morale totally destroyed ...
... that this geezer is as mad as a wardrobe but if this ever gets out then the GMTV watching plebs, who get their science from Heat magazine will be panicking about being sucked into Black Hole.
I only have a layman's knowledge of particle physics but isn't it true that the LHC *might* create only atom sized black holes? And, according to Prof. Hawking, don't black holes ultimately go "pop" because of quantum leakage just outside the the event horizon? I would imagine that it won't take an atom-sized black hole long to wink out of existence...
And assuming that there is other sentiant intelligence out there and assuming that they're more intelligent than us, can't we assume they've been knocking about with the same things that the LHC is doing? And, oops, the Universe is still here!
Its called prior restraint. Even if he could prove that these things will happen they can't be stopped until they actually make an attempt, by which time its too late anyway.
Its the way of law. he should be aware as well that nuclear blasts that have already taken place have probably unleashed similar levels of energy in the proton collisions associated with them, and the earth still exists (for now).
An American has noticed what can be colloquially called 'the rest of the World'.
And it's thrilling to see commaed geography back in action 'Generva, Switzerland' - bless. The latest in a veritable Whicker of glamorous destinations, 'Paris, France', 'Venice, Italy' and everyone's favourite 'London, England'. Though it really needs a bit of stock footage for full effect - possibly a cuckoo clock or a vault filled with Nazi gold*.
*That's for Generva, Switzerland obviously; not Paris, France or London, England**.
** which can only be summed up by a consumptive Julie Andrews in a bowler hat.
"There could be a parallel Earth ruled by an evil victorious Nazi empire with space battlecruisers and so forth."
I think this possible outcome has been dismissed too early by some of you cynical posters. After all, as we all know from films, where there are evil space cruisers there are also intrepid heroes battling them. Usually there are really fit birds on both sides in quite skimpy costumes too.
Add some comedy aliens, wicked weapons, great uniforms for the bad guys, a happy ending, the complete lack of Earth concepts like "Gordon Brown" and "project deadlines" and I for one welcome our new particle-smashing overlords.
In the immortal words of the Sugababes, "Push The Button".
...this hasn't already happened?
And some theories of time postulate almost infinite creation of alternate Universes on a continuous basis as decisions and quantum events decay. So inevitably the things Wagner is concerned about will occur, but most of the Wagners in the various alternate Universes will persist and be oblivious to the fact that a strangelet soup claimed them in an alternative branch of time...
If he served the the papers to his wife, as am officer of the corporation...
And appeared at the trial as an officer of the corporation...
And won a summary judgement against himself...
Doesn't that mean that he and his wife need to pay THEMSELVES the back salary, plus interest, plus whatever damages the court assigns, plus both sides' court costs?
Damn! They're gonna get so rich from this suit that they may have to declare bankruptcy!!
(...and now my head hurts...)
Surprised US "Special" (Wonder if they really are special) forces soldiers have not taken over the whole of CERN and claimed they were a Terrorist group planning to blow up the world as after all we all know that if anyone is going to destroy the world it is going to be the US otherwise they will take your ass to court quicker than you can say Wormhole.
Interestingly, his site is:
"LARGE HADRON COLLIDER - THE LEGAL DEFENSE FUND SITE"
and its pupose?
"We are seeking donations to provide for legal intervention. We suggest a donation of $10.00, but would be delighted if your donation were larger. We expect to encounter expenses in excess of $100,000 in this action."
Surely a qualified lawyer/nuclear physicist with his track record (the Botanical Gardens scam... i mean case... is pure genius) is going to charge more than $100,000.
Oh, yes, "in excess"... he's got that covered
Still, at least "You will receive a Thank You letter and a written acknowledgment of receipt of your donation."
the boffs at LHC expect to create MBHs or miniature black holes as a matter of course during the running of their collision experiments, where they will be accelerating protons to within a millionth of the speed of light. quite fast. the decay of these MBHs will be due to theoretical hawking radiation which as yet is practically unproven. hopefully the math will work out. if the holes dont decay they should be able to escape earth. however this is simply expressed as a probability. there is therefore a probability they won't. we would not destroy the universe, just earth. if all the earths mass fell into a black hole it would still have the same gravitational field dur! as moylesy would say....
Paris Hilton: Thats Hot!!
Stephen Hawking: (in robot voice for full effect) Actually, Hawking radiation has a blackbody radiation with a temperature T given by: kT = hbar g / 2 pi c = hbar c = (4 pi r s) blah blah blah...
Paris Hilton: Thats Hot
etc etc etc til the end of time (whatever that might be ha ha ha)
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