A baby seal walks into a club...
/Mine's the fur lined one.
Canada has declared its annual seal cull - which this year will see off more than 280,000 seals - as "humane, sustainable and responsible", despite protestors' claims to the contrary. Canadians are expected to go out clubbing in force* in the next few days in the Gulf of St Lawrence and around Newfoundland to reduce the 5.5 …
A baby seal walks into a club...
/Mine's the fur lined one.
...it should stop the Canadians from making films, even if only for a short time. In fact the seals should think themselves lucky that they just get clubbed and never have the remotest possiblity of seeing a Canadian film. If being forced to watch one of those isn't inhumane then I don't know what is. And why do greenies use the word inhumane when speaking of animals?
Great lets stop the seal. Now, when the seal population keeps growing,what is the fishing industry to do?? Where are the people going to get there fish from - the area where these seals are is also the best fishing grounds! The seal cull serves the purpose of both providing found and skins as well as allowing the fish population to continue.
Club the activists.
Please leave the penguins alone.
...they could combine this with clubbing as we know it they would have a REAL tourist attraction.
7:00pm - Hit the bar, start drinking.
8:00pm - Start a ponderous bar-crawl towards the nearest clubbing-club
somwhere around 10-11ish (noone is taking any notice of the time as blood alcohol levels rise) - Arrive at the clubbing-club. Drinking moves on to spirits/mixers/whetever happens to be on special offer, hit the dance floor with lound music blaring, or start chatting up that stunning bird (who you KNOW will not be stunning the next morning after the beer taxi calls, but you dont care)
Midnight - Clubs, mallets, and any other blunt objects are handed out to the clientelle, and hundreds of baby seals are released onto the dance floor. LET THE CLUBBING COMMENCE!
Come to think of it, it may even stop all the drunken fights that happen at the taxi stand as everyone has already taken out their aggression on the furballs.
Oh, I forgot, around 3-4am - Arrive home, wash the blood and guts off if you can be bothered, then either fall asleep or shag the little minx you managed to lure back to your lair (possibly still covered in said bodily fluids and internal organs of the furballs).
Mine's the fur-lined leather coat, goes well with my crocodile-skin boots
Would you like some cheese with that whine?
When discussing the seal hunt the big thing I always wonder is where to start. The untruths and lies used to promote the anti-sealing campaign is mind numbing. Go to any anti-sealing site and look at the pictures of the cute white coats. The fact that the hunting of seal pups, whitecoats, and bluebacks was outlawed in Canada in 1987. A grey coat adult seal will get no sympathy from anyone so the anti-sealing sites don't mention that they are now the only type legally hunted. What about the money. The IFAW currently makes about $100 million a year mainly on the protest of the seal hunt. The head of this organization made $250,218 in salery in 2004. If these groups were really interested in animal welfare how about the pig which is hung on a hook, electrocuted and has it's throat slit. I'll tell you why in 1978 Paul Watson of the Sea Shepard conservation society was asked.
Interviewer: You suggesting that they fight for seals rather than other animals because it's easy, or easier to raise money that way, or because it's a profit maker for them?
Watson: Well it's definitely because it's easier to make money and because it's easier to make a profit because there are over a thousand animals on the endangered species list, and the harp seal isn't one of them.
By the way when that interview was done the seal population was two million seals. It is currently 6 million. If the hunt is so detrimental to the population shouldn't it be going down and not up.
I'll have a lager and a large Canadian Club for the seal please.
Yes, I know, but it's waterproof and warm.
Me and my girl sealclubbing
Me and my girl out on the ice
Me and my girl sealclubbing
Me and my girl, ooh how nice
Half Man Half Biscuit - Back in the D.H.S.S
Thirsty... Canadian Club on the rocks anyone?
Sorry - the old ones smell the funniest... having a great deal of trouble seeing the word "Canadian" without also thinking about the term "flip-top head". Icon for her classic version of "head".
OMG - did I actually TYPE that?
Come on boys, it's time to get conservatin! *loads shotgun*
Mine's the one with the Futurama DVD in it, which I'm sure had an episode set on Pluto with a much funnier version of that joke.
I eat meat, wear leather, love humans, and am not a supporter of rabid eco-fundamentalists* but I have to say I regard this annual 'hunt' as a shameful embarrassment to my country.
*Which means that I won't be wishing harm on the 'hunters' as the less civilised members of the eco industry will be doing.
If only my website could get that many hits!
IIRC, these are the guys who were throwing acid on the Japanese whaling ships. I would like to see them try that tactic on a group of 6'4", 250lb loggers, each wielding a club....
Thanks to AC - "Based on Lies" @ 1413. As a Canadian (living in the UK), every year I get grief because of the propaganda surrounding this. Nice to see some people not taken in by the "cute lil seals!!!!" BS.
Get a feel for the Canadian Maritimes and try to find the "Ferryland Sealer" song by Great Big Sea on the tubes.
The album is folk, but otherwise quite good. It will dull your concern for the cute fuzzies that are getting whacked.
I wonder what would happen if the seal hunt was incorporated into the production of bio-fuels? Would we see a lot greenies' heads imploding as they tried to assimilate the data?
@Based on lies.
Thanks for that useful information. As a Canadian I should have been aware of that.
suggest change of URL to include "barenakedladies".... and they're Canadian too so that's nicely relevant.
Funny how it is deemed necessary to kill the seals because they eat *our* fish, and that fish stocks only dropped in the era of powered fishing boats.
A nasty bloody business, and of course all about money.
Change the word SEAL into the word COAT in 3 moves...
Mine's the thermal outfit with browny-red stains....
I reckon if the hunters used precise rifles with only one shot to the seal's head then there would be less controversy. Its the image of people out there with clubs bashing seals on the head, with their blood strewn over the white snow, that causes anguish. Canadians need to learn about marketing and PR from their US cousins.
I'm against the cull, but if it's going to happen the Canadians should make it as humane (in the sense of the humans acting in a humane and treating the seals with some compassion) as possible.
The EU is to try and introduce a ban on seal pelts; not sure if this will have the desired effect if the justification for the cull is to preserve fish stocks. We could try and boycott Canadian products but apart from the Blackberry I can't think of what else there is to avoid !
Paris because she'd shed a tear for the seals and go and support the protesters while wrapped up in a fur coat...
You bastard, that tune will be running around in my head for the rest of the day!
Because inanimal is illegal. At least in this country.
What do they do with the carcasses? It would be a shame to leave them. Do Canadians eat them?
Have to agree with whosit above. It seems to me that seal hunting, and animal hunting generally is a bit outdated. What's the point really, I mean don't they have any supermarkets in Canada where they can buy other food or shops that sell fake pelts. If it's like an actual sport, then why don't they just breed seals in captivity (like we do cows and other farm animals), and then people can come and club those instead....
"Great lets stop the seal. Now, when the seal population keeps growing,what is the fishing industry to do?? Where are the people going to get there fish from - the area where these seals are is also the best fishing grounds! The seal cull serves the purpose of both providing found and skins as well as allowing the fish population to continue."
OK, I'm as much for lambasting hypocritical environuts as the next man, but suggesting that seals are responsible for depleting fishing grounds is just stupid. Besides, even if it's us-or-them with the fish, who are we to say that we should get priority for the fish over the seals? Last I checked, the seals can't nip over to the corner shop for a packet of crisps, whereas we humans retain that option should the price of fish rise.
It's a pretty unique meat - very greasy. As an old Innu once told me, "Caribou will fill your belly, seal will keep you warm". And it's not like there's any fish left to eat!
At the bottom of this page... we have google ads. The first two:
Ads by Google
Flip Off Seals
Order Flip Off Seals here Flip off seals in several colors
Hunting For Security Seals? We Identify The Options.
I don't care about cute baby seals being clubbed to death. Unless it improves my bottom line. And I'm not talking fur lined underwear here.
Mine's the one with "Green Piss"
Is the world really that large nowadays that people still refer to our country as one, giant, borderless, cultureless land mass? Get real people. There is a very small portion of our population under scrutiny here. VERY small. . . I highly doubt there are people who will travel the nearly 4000 Km from the opposite side of the country just to club a seal. I won't even get out of bed to smack the cat when it scratches the carpet. Of the 30,000,000 people that live in Canada, how many do you think are gonna be out on the ice with a weapon? So what if they practice a "culling" (though I would use the word massacre, not being a supporter of the event) once a year? We don't execute retards, we don't shoot people based on skin color -- or hang them or chase them down in trucks or hold rallies against them -- and we try our best to elect fairly sane, independent thinking leaders. Now that I've laid down a good stereotype, how many Americans are pissed off that I said that? Sucks to be lumped into a category based on the COUNTRY you live in, isn't it? That goes for you, too, Reg. We don't all say "eh" or "aboot" and we CERTAINLY do not all appreciate being associated with what happens in a small part of part our country with a small number of residents.
If there are so many seals that they affect "our fish industry" why don't we just cull the humans?
We have enough people who don't give anything back to society, that we can spare 2 or 3 million to mark as "free targets"
We could even sell tickets.
I would jump at the chance to club some leeching parasite DHSS scum to death...
"Please leave the penguins alone."
We don't have any penguins here, they're quite a ways to the south.
As far as clubbing vs shooting... clubbing is obviously the environmentally responsible option. Personally I think all hunting should be done with clubs, it would be a little more sporting... moose clubbing, anyone?
I think they should feed them to polar bears then we won't have to worry about them gadding about on melting icebergs.
@Gordon Pryra: "If there are so many seals that they affect "our fish industry" why don't we just cull the humans?"
Funny, I don't see anybody worrying about the fish -- seems to me they get eaten either way. Perhaps they aren't furry and cuddly enough?
I am entirely in favor of Moose clubbing.
And then, of course, there's the possibility Paris clubbing...
Vegetarian, living in Canada. I have no time for the people who whine on about this kind of thing without the slightest consideration for philosophical consistency.
If you're going to complain about Canadian seal culling or Japanese whaling, you should also stop eating meat, wearing fur or leather or any other animal product, and (arguably) drinking or eating any animal byproduct unless you're damn sure about the welfare of the animal it came from. Otherwise, you are frankly just blowing smoke.
Personally I wouldn't go out and club a seal, nor would I go out and shoot a cow in the head, which is why I don't eat meat. But I'm perfectly well aware that this is a minority position, and thus I'm perfectly okay with accepting that there are people who don't consider it wrong to shoot cows in the head, eat the meat that comes from shooting cows in the head, hunt whales, or club seals to death. I don't agree with them, but hey, I don't agree with lots of people on lots of things, and we get along fine.
If seal culls make you uneasy, then by all means, consciously refrain from going out and beating a seal to death today or any *other* day. But if you're going to make a big fuss about it, please be aware that there's about a 99.9% chance you're a giant stinking hypocrite.
What misguided information the IFAW is supplying to the international community and not only that anti-sealing individuals are naïve enough to believe them. First, seals are no longer clubbed but shot with high powered rifles. Second, sealer don’t kill White Coats, baby seals, not since 1972. Third, the IFAW exploitation of the seal hunt is the largest revenue stream, mainly from naïve Brits, for their organization and if the truth be known cheers rise from the IFAW executive every time the quota is announced for the seal hunt. Fourth, Paul Watson like Brian Davies are Terrorist of the worst kind by distributing false propaganda and paints all peoples of Canada’s east coast as barbarians, and drunkards but the truth is persons like Paul Watson and Brian Davies are Neanderthals and prey on the uninformed and uneducated. If misguided individuals that are scammed by the IFAW and others know the truth they would not be so eager to give up their money and time to Terrorist organizations like the IFAW. Another pet peeve that I have is when we hear from those so called animal rights organizations and their supporters that have no problem with eating veal, beef, chicken, fish, pork, wild game, etc. To me that is the most despicable form of hypercritic that there is. We humans are mammals and eating flesh is something we are genetically designed to do. The seal hunt is as or more humane than most government sanctioned slaughter houses or the hunting of moose, boar, whale, deer, elk, bear, etc. It is time for the world to wake up and realize that if the seal herd isn’t culled within a few years the seals will eat themselves out of their food supply, where will the IFAW be then when the herd is lost to starvation.
If they pop the seals around the arctic, will the cold get out?
We mustn't be too sensitive about stereotyping. We are dealing with products of the British educational system after all...
Paris 'cause she's better than a sharp pointy stick. Or club.
I think Mr Bush is working on that right now.
Twaddle, the campaign against the seal hunt used the white seal pups to such good effect that the canadian gov banned the culling of them as an attempt to side step the emotional issue. Like you say most people would not feel quite the same for the older gray pups, what that i smell, oh yeah, hypocrisy and bullshit don't you just love it.
p.s. hope you fall through the ice.
I only reference this remark because it tweaked something in my memory leading to this thought....
275,000 seals per year (*5) = 1,375,000 (approx.) = the estimate of Iraqis killed in Iraq since 2003 - perhaps a bit on the high side but not that far out of the ball park.
In grade 8 (31 years ago OMG!) I debated this very hunt while blissfully ignorant of the word 'genocide'. Three decades later the seals are still going strong but the Iraq population is declining because of an over zealous cull.
We live IN the environment, not separate from it, which calls for responsible involvement. But in this case lets, for pity's sake get our priorities straight.
"inevitably have serious consequences for the future of the harp seal population"
Of course it will. It will reduce the population. That's why it's called "culling".
What are they supposed to do instead, encourage "abstinence education" or something?
If the seals had arms they'd be clubbing Canadians.
They're coming right at us!
Or, let's thin their numbers!
Whatever it is uncle Jimbo is required to say this year.
They are wining to a country founded on fur trade, lol. I hope we puts a shot off their bow like they did the Spanish. We have the best ship tech. (frigates) in the world and if the Spanish had come over we would have smoked their ships. Or better yet why not boycot us, bigger lol, we produce far too many critical resources. Maybe other countries should stop over fishing off our shores, dumping crap off our shores, wanting us to open the North up (great idea, lets run oil tankers through the North, they are pretty safe aren't they), etc. As maybe then we would give a @#%!.
Yes the seals are to blame for the dwindling fish stock, using the Canadian educational system.
Hunters love the buzz of killing seals but will never admit it when not talking among themselves.
Reminds me of the intellect of english up north. Yorkshire sheep-shaggers and northerm monkey. THe level of IQ displayed every weekend during a football game.
Speaking as an Atlantic Canadian and a professional journalist who has covered the commercial fishing industry here for more than two decades, my observation is that sentimentality, in the form of animal rights ideology, is all the anti-seal hunting protest movement and money machine are based on, since there is no scientific fact or conservation reality to support them.
In the rational world, there are at least two compelling arguments in favour of seal hunting in Atlantic Canada:
1. Seals are an abundant, valuable, and renewable resource in a fishery beleaguered by declining stocks of many traditional catch species.
Reality check: seal populations are greater than they've been in at least half a century and a 2002 report in the Canadian Veterinary Journal (Can Vet J 2002;43:687–694) found that "The large majority of seals taken during this hunt - at best, 98 per cent in work reported here - are killed in an acceptably humane manner."
2. The abundance of seals is not coincidental to stock declines of other species, and the seal population must be diminished if there is to be any hope of saving currently threatened fish species, and indeed possible decimation of other species. The marine ecological balance is indisputably out of whack and dysfunctional, but allowing one species whose natural predators (eg: sharks) no longer exist in numbers sufficient to sustain a healthy balance to proliferate unchecked is emphatically not going to improve things.
Aside from sentimental idiocy fostered by the unquestionable cuteness of whitecoat seal pups (which haven't been hunted in Canada since 1987), there is no rational reason not to hunt seals if there's a market for seal products, and bringing the seal population down from its current record levels is ecologically beneficial. Besides seal predation of vulnerable and valuable fish stocks, they are also damaging fishing gear and are an incubator for worms that infest other species.
Of course, neither of these logical conclusions will ever convince the fanatical animal rights zealots of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), the Humane Society of the United States, the International Fund for Animal Welfare (IFAW), and celebrity fellow-travelers like Sir Paul McCartney, Pamela Anderson, and Brigitte Bardot, whose objection to seal hunting is based on emotion and ideology - not logic and reason.
According to the Canadian government, sealing is an important source of employment for about 12,000 Canadians, most of whom live in economically-depressed regions with little scope for alternate enterprise Swiss psychologist Carl Gustav Jung once observed that "Sentimentality is a superstructure covering brutality." Now brutality is a term the anti-sealing crowd like to fling at hunters, but in my estimation real brutality characterizes those who would sacrifice the livelihoods and wellbeing of 12,000 sealers and their families and communities in favour of banning the harvest of a renewable resource that is experiencing a population explosion to the tune of 12 percent annually..
As usual, if White Males do it then it's OK, especially as SEALS ARE ECONOMIC TERRORISTS who eat all the fish before the same White Males can over-fish them! Bloody seals! Death's too good for 'em, etc.
MEANWHILE, if the Japanese want to go shoot a couple of whales or a hundred, we call them heartles primatives, murderous bastards, etc. etc.
Long live double standards!
Mother nature looks after popualtions better and for longer then we ever did or have. There for I think your point is pants. Who are We(humans) to decide who or what lives or dies? thats just human arrogance and we should be ashamed for it. I find it hard to believe that a moder (civalised) nation like Canada still commits such brutal acts. There are more efficiant methods to cull a heard or large number of animal then a big lump of Hawthorn. You can know out a field of cows with smoke pellets of certaisn chemicals and these are used for mass inspections or inocculations of cattle and such like in certain cercumstances. This I think would be better if they feel they must cull. How ever the nuts and short n curlys of the issue are this: SEAL FUR IS A commodity. As long as people continue to wear fur this will happen.
The few seals the Inuits get is one thing; and they do have cultural collateral and nesscesity to fall back is one thing, but killing like this some tart can have a seal fur coat is just not on anymore.
So again like many arrogant acts Humans do against Mother nature, I'm sure it will continue. Shame on you Canada.
Its not about sentimentality, Its about the fact that its not our place to play god, creator, decide,r on life what ever. Why dont the people in the depressed rual areas simply move if they can not find a way of making a living in some other way. I
m a paddy and I had to move when there was no work in my town I didnt go out smashing the skulls of peoples pets or wild animals to make a few quid. I got a basic qualifacation and went to London and NYC ect. I was a contract monkey. I saved, lived cheaply, came home bought a house, set up a compnay and invested in my community. This Bullshit about economic needs is rolled out more then a Queens(ny) lilo. These whinging pricks in rural outcrops need to get off thier arse and reach for the apple get some skills or education and get companies to want to go there and employ them, or move.
Rural bliss is great if you can afford it. If you can't, migrate like most of the world. see the longnow.org for a lecture on this subject.
Canada, Shit or get off the pot. Your either a sensible nice culture or you a bunch of insert favourite here......
These people are exploiting somethings life for their own gain. I like to add to life the world and create. Even oil guys create new wealth and value(in the bigger sense). Seal clubbers dont they kill and skin and make a coat. Its not even hunting do dont need skill to do this, its a job for knuckle draggers.
There is no justifacation for this senseless carry on. NONE in today world. The population boom is just a feeble angle to garner support and soften the blow. Ahh well sure were only doing them a favour in the long run..... Bollox.
You can never justify this.
They dont even eat them.......
If they even ate them it would be something.... 1/4 pounder club burger please. sorry ........
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