back to article Armed robbers target Oz biker shindig

Two robbers who decided to target a Sydney club picked the wrong night for their armed assault - a monthly meeting of bikers who duly whupped their asses. The Southern Cross Cruiser Club was enjoying its get-together at the Regents Park Sporting and Community Club last Wednesday when the masked pair, bearing blades and …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lawn bowls improbable? I think not.

    This isn't the first time I've heard of big hairy men getting drunk and playing bowls. Although last time, it was in "The Zoo", at an Australian rubgy club, it was on carpet, and they were naked. May have been linked to a competition involving spare change and foreskin... Maybe just a coincidence.

  2. David Gosnell

    Damage bill

    I wonder what the bill will be for damage to the furniture? Probably more than there was cash in the till.

  3. Chris Miller
    Coat

    Don't try this in Blighty

    The plods will have you banged up for ABH before you can say "proportionate response".

    The leather one with the studs, please.

  4. dervheid
    Thumb Up

    Made my day!

    I take it the guy who exited via the plate glass door was in a bit of a hurry!!

  5. Finn
    Coat

    What were they thinking?

    How do these people choose their targets?

    Robber one, "Let's rob some bar!"

    Robber two, "Yeah! We should take out that one!"

    Robber one, "The one with 40+ harleys parked outside? Yeah, lets go!"

    Mine is the biker leather and crash helmet.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Treated for minor injuries

    When I read the story at the BBC yesterday, it contained the rather wonderfully British piece of humorus understatement thus:

    "Alerted to the robbery, some of the bikers chased the men as they fled.

    One was caught after trying to escape through a back door. He was later treated in hospital for minor injuries. "

    Maybe one of the ne'er do-wells should have tried the "I need your motorcycle and your jacket" line ;-)

  7. Stu
    Flame

    Well what do you expect...?

    Usual behaviour from ye olde penal colony.

    Has anybody even seen any of those Aussie specific Police-Camera-Action type TV programmes? They're stupider even than council estate chav crim activity.

    ...Flame icon for obvious reasons really, but I could just have easily chosen the IT? icon.

  8. heystoopid
    Coat

    Now !

    Now if these wankers had been caught further south of the Murray River by the Victorian Police Armed Robbery Squad equal treatment from the boys in blue would have happened (the old falling down the steps claim)! This Victorian Police Armed Robbery Squad Unit , have a very long known history of dealing out the same type of summary justice on a much larger scale along with tainted and fabricated evidence !

    It now known that in a number of trials and coroners inquests they attended all the officers in this squad had grave difficulties in telling the real truth about numerous events they were involved in to give evidence for the crown In this particular trial after the current commissioner evicted them from the police force very publically , they still even now have problems differentiating truth from their usual line of fiction even after being shown a concealed video of one event !

    One of the many links to these wankers and adherents to the "Peter Principle"

    Link =http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/exdetectives-admit-to-bashing-suspect/2008/02/25/1203788246914.html

  9. ChrisB
    Paris Hilton

    Statement

    'The second perp ran straight through a plate-glass door and jumped from a balcony.'

    Honestly officer. ;)

  10. Tim

    @heystoopid

    Those Aussie cops need to learn a bit about handling the news of such, er, mishaps from their Greek colleagues:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2000/11/06/whij06.xml

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Oh, ROFL!

    I'd pay good money to have a freeze-frame of the looks on those idiots faces when the bikers came crashing in from the other room...

  12. Tim Schomer
    Coat

    @ Damage bill

    Probably covered by a bogus insurance claim mate...

    .. Why yes officer, I do own a leather jacket, that one hanging over there as it happens...

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dumb...

    Reminds me of the guys who decided to rob a bar in Chicago - a cop bar. They came to an abrupt end.

  14. Ishkandar
    Flame

    @Finn

    Real bikers don't wear leathers of crash helmets !! Real bikers use denims and lids !!

  15. John
    Paris Hilton

    Could've been worse

    There are less gentle bike clubs around. Trust me.

  16. Curtis W. Rendon
    Alert

    @Ishkandar

    Not Harley riders. Leathers in the middle of Texas summers...

  17. GrahamT
    Coat

    @Ishkander

    Real bikers do wear leathers. Pretend bikers wear denim until the first off, then they are smeared all over the tarmac so don't count as bikers anymore.

    (And real bikers don't ride tractors - aka Harleys - they are for people with more money than sense. Who wants an underpowered bike that won't go around corners?)

    Mine's the Dianese one-piece with the Shoei

  18. Herby Silver badge

    This sounds like another activity...

    Midget bowling

    'The second perp ran straight through a plate-glass door and jumped from a balcony.'

    I suspect that he was picked up using his collar and belt and they just wanted to see how far you can throw an idiot.

    "Wow, two points, you made the basket!! Oh, sorry, no net..."

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Stu

    Down Under 'ere, we 'ave seen some UK police documentaries too.

    The would be "crims" in Blighty are to to scared to ply their trade these days in case they run up against the fearsome plod Tony Stamp. And if they survive "uncle Tone's" rough-housing, Reg will probably bore them to death with stories about trains and Marilyn's cooking in the panda trip back to the 'nic.

  20. Andy S

    the sad thing is...

    That if this had happened in good old blighty, the bikers would all have been arrested and charged while the armed robbers would be given a slap on the wrist and told not to be naughty in future.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Natural Selection at its best

    They should be sterilized

  22. Fuzzy

    Real Bikie Club

    If a "real" bikie club had been there , like the hell's angels, Bandidos or such this would have never made the news. Well it might have but it would have been limited to how 2 unfortunates were set upon by an unknown gang and will be in hospital for the next 2 months recovering from their injuries and learning to walk again

  23. Tim Brown
    Coat

    Improbable Lawn Bowling

    Not really all that improbable. All you do is pick up the lawn and bowl it...

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    They were so lucky

    If they were to try and rob a biker shindig around here no one would ever know or find the bodies.

  25. Dana W
    Happy

    In the US............

    Criminals have to look for "gun free zones" to pull crap like this. "And doing this to American bikers wouldn't leave enough to capture with anything but possibly sponges"

    Anywhere else and we punch them full of assorted sized holes. I favor .45, though the police favor .40.

    And for those who think Americans don't care for the metric system 9mm is very popular as well.

  26. Stratman

    Shallow end of the gene pool

    This story bears many similarities with a 1990 Darwin Award. The one where the would-be robber targeted a Gun Shop. Full of firearms enthusiasts. With a marked, although empty police car parked outside. The reason it was empty was because the officer was having a coffee in the shop. None of this deterred the wannabee felon, who never saw the sun rise again.

    http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1993-06.html

  27. ryan
    Pirate

    @GrahamT, dainese & shoei

    aye, if the robbers had burst in on you power rangers you'd have all transformed into dinosaurs or something.

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