back to article BOFH: What GPS is for

The good thing about sales reps is that they're never too busy to come on site and explain a couple of their products to you if there's a potential sale in it. Better still when the IT consumables company replaces the grizzled veteran of "over a million 8 inch floppies sold" with Susan, a lovely young woman with a pleasant …


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  1. Rosuav
    Thumb Up

    When will the Boss ever learn...

    ... not to buy anything that the BOFH recommends? I wonder whether he'd be eligible for a Darwin Award for this.


  2. Roger Greenwood


    I've just ordered my GPS.

  3. xjy

    Knock down Ginger

    At last!

    Knock down Ginger meets Hi-Tech and a beautiful bouncing baby is born...

  4. Chad H.

    the boss can't learn

    the boss isn't a single character... The boss is frequently... Err.. "Recycled"... Clickety click here, Zappity Zap there, and bang, one new boss vacancy at BOFH towers.

    (What ever happened to *Clickety click*?)

  5. Anonymous Coward

    @Rosuav: The Boss can't learn... he is replaced, suffers an "unfortunate" accident, etc before he even has a chance. Besides, he must be a slow learner for maximum comedic effect...

  6. Sean Nevin

    The Boss never learns...

    ...because they never last very long. Usually the Boss get fired (because of the Bastard); quits (because of the Bastard); or has a "tragic workplace accident" (again because of the Bastard). I think the Boss turnover rate averages about six weeks, just a little more than Beancounters.

  7. Will Godfrey Silver badge


    Tying adjacent door knockers together then ringing the bell just pales into insignificance <sigh>

  8. Spike


    Ah, Simon obviously knows the real meaning of GPS. It's a Geographical Punishment System!

    In 300 yards, go straight over, off the cliff.

  9. yeah, right.

    Much better.

    Simon's back! Giving me some cracking good ideas too...

  10. Dave P

    Re: GPS?

    Ah, like the bloke in California who turned onto the tracks in front of a commuter train because the GPS told him so. Then had the brilliance to stand on the tracks, waving, to try and get the train to stop.

  11. Trygve Henriksen
    Thumb Up

    Does the BOFH go Geocaching?

    Just imagine the swag he could leave in the caches...

    Or where he would hide his own caches...

  12. Rhys
    Black Helicopters

    I geocache

    It's fun, but really, the clues should have lead the boss to try and break into the ECHELON Antenna domes or some other govt installation guarded by humourless paranoids Black Helicopter drivers who would have held him for weeks for questioning :P

  13. Chad H.


    could geocaching be combined with beancounter pinball?

  14. Jeremy

    @Trygve Henriksen

    Where would he hide them?

    Haqre n uvtu ibygntr ryrpgebqr

    Of course! (That's rot-13'd for the uninitiated)

  15. tony trolle


    we know about the 'Recycled' bosses but how old is the PFY now ?

  16. Jon Pain


    Under a High Voltage Electrode

  17. Trygve Henriksen


    Maybe the BOFH would do that...

    I'm not so much of a bastard, so mine are mostly hidden on mountaintops...

    (I have a few on islets, too. Can't make it too easy... )

    My handle is Gadgetman! if anyone is interested.

  18. BatCat

    Best GPS trick...

    ... I've done is setting some poor geographically challenged visiting Road Warrior's Home address to somewhere completely different. They just jump in the car, fire up TomTom and hit Home as the destination. I wonder how long it is before they realise they're heading in completely the wrong direction...


  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    GPS and mobile phone tracking

    GPS is not the only way to track your location. Websites such as and can trace the location of any mobile phone in the UK to within 50 metres according to their websites faqs.

  20. Anonymous Coward

    @mobile phone tracking

    Well, on the topic of mobile phone tracking, I upgraded Google map on my TyTN the other day and suddenly found that it could pinpoint where I am without even a GPS device. Too bad the range is almost always off- by 500 meters at best (the bloody thing said I was standing in the lake near my workplace! when I tried it in the office) and 200 kilometers at worst (said I was in a village in a state to the north).

  21. barnaby

    @ Anonymous Coward

    The updated Google Maps usually has a circle around the "location" showing the area you might be in. This is because it is picking up the information of which cell tower you are connected to and then guessing the maxium range of that.

    On my N95 it starts with the acuarcy of 1700 metres based on cell location and then a few seconds later pinpoints me based on the GPS info.

  22. A J Stiles

    You know you've been misusing computers too long

    You know you've been misusing computers too long when you can read rot13 text straight off the screen .....

    Also, if you're going to ring doorbells and run away, it helps to have some sort of surprise lined up for the householder when they come out. See "The Simpsons" series 10, episode 17 .....

  23. Phil Rigby
    Paris Hilton

    @tony trolle

    The PFY would be about 30 - he made his appearance in '96 as the nephew of the (at that time) boss. BOFH and PFY working together got the boss fired 2 days later, being blamed for the person who swapped the Windows boot splash screens to something less business appropriate.

  24. R


    So the PFY was hiding there the whole time, was he? One would hope that this Boss would be a bit more observant. I can't see him lasting very long...

  25. Anonymous Coward

    Re: the boss can't learn

    Never mind "clickety click", what happened to "draggety poke"?

  26. Andrew Moore Silver badge

    Oh dear...

    GPS??? Geocaching??? How very last millennium. Sales totty should have sold him a state of the art GNSS unit.

  27. |333173|3|_||3

    @Phil Rigby

    The PFY first appears as Simon's replacement late in the old series (when the BOFH is a Manager), and the PFY's uncle is not just the Boss, he is the CEO.

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