The perfect crime....
Force him at gun point into a load of kinky bondage gear, suffocate him, and all the fundamentalist christian loonies are too embarrassed to investigate it properly..
On 24 June this year, 51-year-old Reverend Gary M Aldridge, senior pastor at the Thorington Road Baptist Church in Montgomery, Alabama, was found dead at his home having failed to put in an appearance at that morning's services. A preliminary autopsy by Dr Stephen Boudreaux "indicated that Aldridge died of suffocation, and that …
Force him at gun point into a load of kinky bondage gear, suffocate him, and all the fundamentalist christian loonies are too embarrassed to investigate it properly..
Seems the DA etc. had the decency of intent to permit the passed-on pastor's posthumous privicy to prevail permanently.
Unlike the Smoking Gun, and, it seems, The Reg.
Shame on you both.
He really did love that latex.
Was he in training to be a Tory peer?
has one less Tory MP been sad news? ;)
....well, not really is it?
Why publish this? I read the Reg to keep up to date with what is happening in the world of IT, and also a bit of science. Would this have been counted so newsworthy if the poor guy was not a pastor? I'm a pastor too, there's none of us perfect, but this guy's (and his family's, and his church's) tragedy does not need to be reported here.
Also noted that the path. report is for a 41 year old, not a 51 year old as this guy was. Is the report wrong. Is any other part of the report wrong? Maybe we should be told.
By keeping it under wraps, it puts the rest of the public in danger by not highlighting the the possible dangers of wearing half a ton of latex and various straps whilst trying to get some jollies.
Also highlights the danger of not having a partner around to remove said gear should you die, sort of along the lines of your Mum making sure you have clean underwear on in case you get run over.
Most likely to me it seems that someone else must have been involved, in the preparation at least; it sounds far too elaborate and difficult from the description for it to be a solo affair. Who and where and maybe even what is that other person? (The answer to that may be the more embarrassing part.) There may be an ongoing investigation and perhaps that is in part why the autopsy report is being suppressed.
While it's a bit off to laugh at people for their sexual preferences, especially when they're dead, but I would guess this pastor preached a lot about the danger of sin and keeping away from depravity.
Hypocrisy is not a required trait for men who claim to follow God, however there are very few who do what they tell everyone else to do.
In which sense can a crime without clear payoff be called "perfect"? I like the thinking (organise crime scene, embarrass investigators not to search), but demand to see the money.
If it's a revenge-inspired motive, it's too rare an opportunity to be useful; if it's for money, this doesn't hide it in any way.
"restraining the decedent" read "restraining the indecedent"
the all weather gore tex please...
The pay off, aside from one less misguided moron in the world? Well, I'm given the impression that some ministers in the US manage to extract a good deal of money form their parishioners -- so perhaps there's a monetery payoff for all too?
There are people who kill just for the fun of it.
>And the IT angle?
Get a life, if a baptisit pastor dying in an autoerotic frenzy being covered up by the Da's office isn't news, go bite a dog.
By Les Matthew
Posted Thursday 11th October 2007 10:53 GMT
has one less Tory MP been sad news? ;)"
Ever since Labour MPs began to be elected.
I find the rubber-clad dildo-arsed death of a vicar highly interesting and deem it worthy of reproduction here in The Register. If you're some kind of community leader and they find you hanging by your ball-sack in a fur suit I think it's in the public interest. Sure, you're entitled to your sick perversions in the privacy of your own home but if you die nailing your cock to the dinner table hen prepare to be laughed at. We all laughed at Mr Hands.
A lot of people are missing the point.
If the DA is allowed to pick and choose what they tell the public (and lie about it their reasons for suppressing it), where does it stop?
Embarrassment is no excuse for a public official to lie. I don't suppose the DA belonged to his church by any chance?
Anon finds the idea of anybody in a gimp suit with a dildo up their arse suffocating to death funny and thanks the register for bringing this particular loltastic event to his attention.
Now, Pics or it didn't happen.
And who the hell reads the reg to keep upto date with the IT world, if you want to do that go to a normal news site not our beloved red top.
Why does anyone's death, bondage-loded or not, get covered up? What makes this guy so special (and no, 'pastor' is not special enough. 'President' is not special enough) that his personal life needs to be protected after death? The only reason I can see is if the police are hunting a partner, because (depending on if his hands were tied before or behind him) there had to be someone else in the room, who has at least been negligent.
I agree with Finnbar's point that the issue is censorship of the crony kind.
While I sympathise with this guy's family, he surrendered any right to privacy over his personal behaviour when he chose to make a career out of lecturing others on how they they should live their lives. Priests may be only human, but if they want to occupy a position of moral authority, then they should be held to a higher standard of behaviour. They get away with far too much hypocrisy as it is.
>Most likely to me it seems that someone else must have been involved
Are we to assume your in-depth knowledge of the preparatory practices involved in autoerotic self-asphyxiation arises from your personal experience?
As a matter of fact, do *you* have an alibi for the time of the death?
>if it's for money, this doesn't hide it in any way
That all depends on how big the dildo was and how far it was shoved up.
According to the DSM-IV casebook approximately 500->1000 people a year die stateside due to scarfing or similar sexual asphyxia. [The DSM-IV casebook is a set of illustrative cases that amplify on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental illness of one sort or the other revision 4 criteria] That one of them should be a pastor is about as remarkable as the sun coming up today. I dare say you will find the odd priest in there too.
Now the picture is bad enough already, but to clarify: what we in the USA call 'suspenders', you call 'braces'...
You have got to love the world. So many sick monkeys out there to entertain us with their deaths.
I wonder if this guy has got a darwin nomination yet ?
In addition to the wrong age in the report, this appears to be a "cut and paste" job. The section under "evidence of injury" details some specific things,including the bound hands and feet. (page 2). Under the section "external examination", the statement that the body is consistent with that of a "41" year od (did he drop a decade somewhere?). there is also reference to the anus being "unremarkable" (kind of odd seeing how he allegedly died), and most telling, the upper and lower extremities are unremarkable. since the evidence of injury seems to indicate some injuries there, i am left with the thought that this was a simple cut and paste job to smear a pastor..not too uncommon here in the states
To my fellow El Reg contributors of the "shout first, engage brain later" persuasion:
The deceased was a preacher at a Baptist church (yes, you have those in England too.) "fundamentalist christian loonies" are rare in Baptist churches - even in southern Baptist churches. Most of hte people who attend these places are just looking for a little reassurance.
Also, "some ministers in the US manage to extract a good deal of money form (sic) their parishioners" is perfectly true but, to be a tad more specific, that "some" is a minute number compared to those who go about their ministry in a quiet, relatively impoverished way - just as they do in England.
Fair comment to all the rest but those mentioned above are not going to get away unchallenged with an "I've got a stick up my ass about the US and I'm going to vent my prejudice at every opportunity."
Call me dim, but it just occurred to me that celibate Priests deserve a Darwin Award for removing their gullible irrational genes from the pool.
This made my day! A priest who spends his life berating other people on how to live dies with a dildo up his ass. How typically Christian.
(I hope he wasn't someone who gave millions of dollars to actual charities and traveled the world doing good, or I'd feel bad for laughing, but since that's extremely doubtful (He was Christian, after all), I'm enjoying a good chuckle)
There's plenty of fundamentalist baptists, there's even a web ring.
A "Pilgrim Fundamentalist Baptist Press"
And Yellow Pages lists four Alabama Baptist churches that proclaim themselves to be "fundamentalist".
I made no comment about the mans nationality, I'm well aware that we have nut jobs in the UK as well as the US which has many more.
Hey John, I've some news for you... I've got a stick up my ass about the US and I'm going to vent my prejudice at every opportunity.
Glad I don't live there.
If he preached against sexual deviance and homosexuality and set himself up as a moral authority on such matters then this is precisely why this information should be in the public domain. Hopefully it will be enough to convince a few to question their bigotry/faith.
This article is awesome, the El Reg should put more of these to illustrate the stupidity of our atlantic cousins (sorry yanks but you guys really are dumb compared to the rest of the planet, just look at how much oil u guys use, buy a more economical car stupid!). Sorry to generalise but these are the people (Americans and especially their government) that preach moral authority over the rest of the world, claiming to 'spread democracy' and 'protecting the free world' and are always the first ones to impose their views and values on anyone else, regardless of whether they want it or not (one of the reasons why America is hated so much around the world). Note to all californias who will no doubt say how much their state (and a couple of others) are trying to make climate change get noticed im America; you guys still elected Arnie (a dumbass nazi, i mean republican) as governor...
Admittedly this particular man's private should, ideally, be kept private. However as one of the earlier posts so rightly put it, this guy forefits all rights of privacy as he was in a position of moral authority, telling all those around him to follow rules that he could even follow himself. Who knows what other kinks this guy had, who is to say that he didn't kiddle fiddle while dressed as the rubber man? The fact that this information came to light only because of 'leaks' is a complete shambles. The District Attorney et al need to be chucked out for trying to hush this up.
A message to all u religious nuts (of ALL religions) - practise what you preach, otherwise God will shove a lightening bolt up ur behind (or in this case a dildo, make u dress in a rubber suit and then die for all ur congregation to see and laugh). If you feel that u are unable to curb and control ur desires, leave the church/mosque/synagogue/temple/general holy place and never go back, you are not meant to be a guardian of moral authority...
We Americans thought such outrageous behavior was reserved for sexually repressed Brits--and the Dutch, of course.
Apologies, John, I would just like to state, for the record, that I have nothing against most Americans -- it's just religion I have a beef with -- I would say exactly the same where he a Church of England vicar in the UK or a Catholic Priest in Poland. Oh, and apologies also for the muscle-memory typo of "form" for "from".
Re: "DSM-iV Casebook statistics"
"...That one of them should be a pastor is about as remarkable as the sun coming up today. I dare say you will find the odd priest in there too."
But THIS odd?
Re: "@ John A Blackley"
"Hey John, I've some news for you... I've got a stick up my ass about the US and I'm going to vent my prejudice at every opportunity.
"Glad I don't live there."
Pity, "horse". There's a Baptist church in Alabama looking for a new pastor and with that stick up your ass, it sounds like you'd fit right in (or vice versa).
Oi! Less of the repressed!
I'll have you know we have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the developed world coupled with a rapidly growing sexually transmitted disease problem that's one of the worst in europe!
The word "religion" comes from the Latin for "tie or binding", just like "ligature".
Maybe he misinterpreted Ephesians ch. 6 verses 11 on, describing the metaphorical "whole armour of God".
Maybe he visited Denver, Colorado, and liked the sound of their Power Invasion Ministry.
Maybe he was trying to mortify the flesh.
Maybe, maybe he was kind and just man, who managed to carry on his ministry without passing judgement on his neighbours or condemning those he disapproved of to Hell. Unfortunately, southern baptist ministers do have something of a reputation when it comes to style and demeanour.
I wonder if any of the "god hates fags" brigade will turn up at his funeral.
Another note on the "dumb Americans" motif that seems to have made a sudden surge here recently:
There are slightly over 303 million Americans.
There are slightly over 60 million Brits.
This means that even if we have about the same percentage of very stupid people, you will actually hear about 5 times as many stories about stupid Americans.
Likewise, you live on a small island (we have quite a few states that cover more than half your landmass, and I think Texas may exceed it - I know Alaska does, but it's mostly frozen wasteland). We're spread out across most of a great honking continent. While it's true that we waste large amounts of oil on our stupidly large SUVs, we also expend vast amounts of energy just getting from one urban area to another, even in efficient vehicles. Food transport alone consumes huge amounts of fuel over here compared to what it takes in the UK. This doesn't give us a pass, of course; for example, the way we have let our rail system degrade is nothing short of insane. Still, transport is a much larger problem here than it is in the European nations.
I'm not trying to say that Americans are all great people, especially when I look around and I think so many of "my fellow Americans" are stupid fuckwads myself. On the other hand: How many of your neighbors are fuckwads? Happy with who has been voted into office recently? What about those mandatory ID cards? I could go on, I just don't care to. However, this constant stream of "Americans are all stupid" is just getting old, especially when it's so obviously not true.
P.S. @Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse - How sad. I can only imagine that causes gross constipation, which has to make your daily life a pain. Maybe you should you should see a doctor.
Fair comment, but even when you track down the www.fundamentalistchristianloonie.com sites it won't mean there are scads of the little devils out there.
After all, "I've got a stick up my ass about the US" probably has a website too.
I'm nearly embarrassed to admit that the first thing which crossed my mind was a hymn (phonetic phrasing to match the rhythms of the tune)
Blessed be-ee the tie-eyes that bind
Our har-arts in chree-ish-tun love.
The fae-el-low-shi-ip of kii-in-drid min-nds
is lye-ike to th-at a-bove
Second was to wonder how someone could be so trussed up all on one's own.
Third was to reflect how, occasionally, we of the US, might feel culturally inferior to our global neighbors, but then along comes Arif Rashid and his ilk, reminding us that red-necks are everywhere.
>it won't mean there are scads of the little devils out there.
Well no, but then I never said it did, just that there was some in the DA's office...
>After all, "I've got a stick up my ass about the US" probably has a website too.
All the evidence points to that being a site run by a baptist pastor in a gimp mask.
I didn't make any comment about the the US until you started trying to put sticks up peoples asses - and if that doesn't deserve a response, what does?
Uh, the fact that I'm an American and you folks don't particularly don't care for us doesn't diminish the fact that the visualization of this specific story is absolutely hysterical, no matter what part of the globe you may originate from. Yeah, it's a damn shame someone died... But in a wet suit, bound and having a dildo, wrapped in a YELLOW condom jammed up his bum? OK excluding the fact this individual was an ordained "man of the cloth" and that he suffocated, this has all the makings of a comedy of biblical (no pun intended, well, kinda...) proportion.
I'm still trying to figure out the significance behind the yellow condom... The ex minister was a male, so I'm going to go out on a limb that using the dildo wasn't a threat vector (I'm hailing the cab now) for an STD, right? Secondly, since he was in fact a 'he', I don't think that pregnancy would have been a primary concern... Yes, I have the over coat on and am going out the door.
But truth be told, if Paris Hilton & Brittany what's-her-face actually read, let alone el reg, they'd probably be calling their staff and demanding that any and all wetsuits be removed from their "collections".
OK, I'm gone...
I honestly cannot understand followers of a faith which is surrounded by people in positions of power doing things like this. Remember Reverend Ted Haggard, caught with a 16yr old boy after sniffing angel dust, as one example.
The growing perversion of christians is astounding, especially in the US. Over here its only politicians who are >CAUGHT< in these situations.
This is just too perfect for it not to be the work of God.
Brits should not be so self-righteous about this. You have your own fundies, the "Restoration" or house-church movement, whose authoritarian leaders have had equal trouble keeping their zippers up. They've been able to keep the shame and resignations very quiet - even if you know the names, Google doesn't return many salacious details - mainly because they're completely bloody irrelevant in Britain, thanks to your great wisdom in shutting them out of television and politics.