back to article Breakfast with bin Laden

I shot Lennon; I shot the Pope. I shot the devil; now you got no hope. -- Suicidal Tendencies It's been an interesting month: I've been breakfasting with Osama bin Laden rather often lately. I can hardly open my morning paper nowadays without reading about al Qaeda. Apparently, there are al Qaeda cells all over London, al …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Interesting

    This is interesting as I'd thought that the whole al Qaeda thing had died off in recent months. What with the inept 'attacks' we've had I think most IRA hardened Britons are starting to find the whole idea of hard-core al Qaeda terrorist cells everywhere a bit silly.

    Maybe Bush is still pushing it in the States but, hopefully, we'll have less of it here.

    And am I missing something with the whole 'Breakfast with bin Laden', 'Sorry, I forgot to be scared' thing? Will it make more sense in the next part?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Calling Osama, calling Osama

    Oh my, I wish Osama would finally come and kill me, so I would not have to stand this world with everyone bending over to this bushy bullshit any longer.

  3. Simon Painter

    But they won't impeach him

    They won't remove him from power any more than the germans would, or could, have removed Hitler from power. The believe what they are told by CNN and everyone outside their own borders must be a terrorist. Beware, El Reg, as you may be branded as part of the Axis of Evil. I would imagine that Middle America probably visits Al Jazeera more than El Reg already though.

  4. The Cube

    Ah, finally some rational analysis in the press

    Thanks, clearly you are not part of the 'white house press office' that now seems to encompass most of the US networks, ITV and the BBC. Refreshing to see a journalist actually telling the truth instead of helping spin the party line. Whilst Britons are tiring of the endless 'be scared' drivel from politicians and the Murdoch 'press', over there in JesusLand clearly the critical faculties of the burger troughing population are even lower than those of our tabloid readers.

    Of course the political land mine for Bush right now is the US forces data that shows there are more Saudi national 'insurgents' currently killing US troops in Iraq than any other group. That just can't get out or we have to admit that the George's Global War is not on terror, it is about US economic interests. You can't sustain an empire without exploiting client states and it is getting increasingly difficult for the CIA to 'arrange' elections now, just ask their branch RCTV which Chavez shut down after they took part in the US sponsored attempted military coup.

  5. Joe

    Osama for breakfast?

    Surely it's just the 'Two Minutes Hate'? I hope you're shouting at him! Eurasia doubleplusungood.

  6. steve lampros

    i found al-Qaeda . . .

    . . .in my pants, and had to change them. MAN they're EVERYwhere

    Thank You Mr President /tossing cookies

  7. Not Needed

    Tech news?

    Since when did the Register become a political commentary site? I think The Register should stick to what it does best, reporting on *tech news* and thumbing their nose at it. There are far better political websites out there.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    NOT TECH NEWS?!

    Oh come on Not Needed, if you paid *any* attention you should know about the technological relation of all the fear-mongering. Or read Maureen Webb if you don't.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    anonymous

    the above anonymous is an imposter as true anonymous understands the joke.

  10. Jack Pastor

    Impeach BUSH ?????

    PUHLEEZE !!! Not until they impeach Cheney first !!!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Naaa...

    with all the "this is off topic" whining lately, he was quite likely serious. Otherwise we might as well have Apple fanbois masquerading as witless Wintel fanbois any minute now. Also, I am the only true anonymous.

  12. Chris

    Good to read you again

    To "Not Needed" re: "tech news?", get a life. Mr. Greene's columns have almost always been political. And believe it or not, there are people (a great many, I would guess) that actually LIKE his articles, and don't try to force El Reg into a "tech news only" niche. If you don't like it, why do you read it? Based on the article name, you could quite clearly tell that this article had nothing to do with technology.

    On a side note, it's good to read another great article from Mr. Greene. I was afraid that once he crossed the pond, his commentary would cease.

    As for the fear-mongering, this is absolutely correct. The only reason that "al Qaeda" and "terrorist" are ever mentioned is to cause fear, usually to encourage the citizens to give up freedoms they once had (illegal wiretapping), and sometimes to force other countries to bow to our will (PNR records). But this administration (and probably future administrations, as well) will never let go of the "terrorist" puppet because it will almost surely always cause the desired reaction.

    The funny thing is, when you think about it, the terrorists have already won. Almost the entire U.S. lives in fear (or at the very least, they act like it), and so the goal of terrorism has been achieved, no more is needed.

    I don't feel bad for the stupid Americans who let the government and media control them like sheep (obviously not all Americans, but the majority of them). Nor do I feel bad for the stupid Americans who were all gung-ho to join the military after Sep 11; they knew perfectly well what they were getting into. The people I *DO* feel bad for are 1) the innocent civilians in Iraq being murdered every day (whether it's intentional, or whether it's "collateral damage"); 2) people of Middle-Eastern descent who are distrusted and treated as criminals simply because the Sep 11 attackers were of Middle-Eastern descent; and 3) the people in the various segments of the U.S. National Guard (which, last I checked, was to guard the nation, within our borders).

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Anonymous

    Anonymous is Legion, Anonymous does not forgive, etc,etc, etc...

    Can't believe I didn't bother with an "In Before - Not tech news" Tshh

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A. A. ?

    I seem to have wandered into a meeting of Anonymous Anonymous.

    Hi, my name's Osama...

  15. Jeremiah Steidl

    Anonymous

    Nay, it is I, the true anonymous! So, which button do I click to go anonymous?

  16. This post has been deleted by its author

  17. Rick Barter

    caveman

    Take down the WTC, blow up a train? It's so easy even a cave man can do it. The Bush boys wants us to believe a bearded idiot in a cave did these things. Give me a break! Watch the symetrical fall of the three trade center buildings and tell me the cave man did that! How stupid do they think we are? I guess very stupid for no one in power is asking any questions. Is he so powerful that he can silence the truth?

  18. Not Needed

    Not Needed

    "Oh come on Not Needed, if you paid *any* attention you should know about the technological relation of all the fear-mongering. Or read Maureen Webb if you don't."

    Please explain it to me. This article is akin to a democratic talking point. How is it tech related? Thomas Greene was making it very clear he isn't a fan of President Bush (and being from Ireland, I don't see why he cares). It was bad article to post on a tech website.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    G.W.B.

    http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2007/07/20070717-3.html

    Latest in a huge number of Unconstitutional Legislation...

    Police State anyone?

  20. Rick Barter

    Osama

    Has anyone bothered to read the 911 commission report? These idiots can't spell Osama Bin Laden's name right, they spell it Usama. And these people are in charge of our protection from the great Caveman. Bush should of had his head on a platter by now! I think Usama is working in the basement of the White House as a janitor.

  21. Eduard Coli

    Osama for breakfast, Yum!

    The problem is the upper echelon.

    The president is rich and the congress is rich and the party bosses are rich and in the US oligarchy the government only represents them.

    There are many of those with big money making bigger money off of the war or whose activities are not news because of the war.

    Maybe thats just the way it is, but does it have to be that way?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Anonymous

    Anonymous is really a tool of Al Qaeda used to weaken the fine foundations of teh interwebs.

    Also El'Reg has a big red banner indicating it is a tabloid rag, not a high brow tech broadsheet, and we love it as such.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    re Jeremiah Steidl

    Yur Doin it wrong

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    RE : G.W.B.

    ...and fear shall lead us down this path... (or the perception of it)

    Ban photography of buildings etc? but.. but... ("Its because of the WOT") oh ok...

    Erode our freedoms? but.. but... ("Its because of the WOT") oh ok...

    Each little piece they take is one more nail in the coffin for freedom and we just accept it - when did we take our eye off the ball and let the governments do as they wish?

    To use the old frog in a pan adage, we are slowly being boiled alive without realizing it.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    AQ's tool - that's

    ...the other anonymous then, not me.

    Not Needed, if you failed to notice the implementation of world-wide high-tech surveillance in the wake of the BE VERY AFRAID tactics of certain leaders, you're either beyond help or sound asleep.

    Rick, you watch too many conspiracy movies ;) - but let me know if you find the plane that crashed into the Pentagon, its gone missing for some reason.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ozzie bin Ladin's evil weather machine

    Actually, if you were a trainee terrorist following recent news, you'd learn that an excellent method to cause massive disruption in the UK might be to disrupt an unprotected electricity "switching centre" like the one which nearly got its underfloor control/data cabling flooded yesterday. In the case of the Walham centre, not only is it (allegedly) the sole source of supply of electricity to hundreds of thousands of people, the organisations it supplies also include the spookstation GCHQ Cheltenham and a nuclear installation which C4 news said they weren't allowed to name (the former CEGB/BNFL Barnwood is perhaps in vaguely the right place but isn't it just offices???).

    http://www.channel4.com/news/articles/society/environment/saving+walham/624157

  27. Malachy

    Arrrghhh...

    ifyoudontlikethistypeofarticledontreadit </rant> ahhhh, and relax. Seriously though, everyone keeps looking at america and going "oh they are terrible, they elect bush again and then he takes away all their freedoms". Do you think Blair/Brown (I've stopped being able to tell the difference) have any other ideas?

    We may not be losing as many freedoms by law, but those same freedoms are now 'monitored' and thats no different at all. Also the government want to monitor more and more every week.

    Mid year resolutions.

    -Next census I'm going to put in the most random data I can think of.

    -Lie blatantly to any government agency, telemarketer, survey or anyone who asks me for information about myself.

    -Change all of my streets numberplates to the same number.

    -constantly wear a balaclava

    etc.(you get the idea) if the databases are filled with invalid data, then they become disinformation tools and useless.

  28. Andy Bright

    Back to their pre-9//11 levels and readiness?

    If this is true then the war on terror is actually winning - and excuse me if I'm not gob-smacked at that inconceivable notion.

    Because prior to 9/11 Al Qaeda were just about a crap an outfit as you could hope for, they were being pulled apart by political/leadership in-fighting, and their recruitment was at an all time low. 9/11 itself was a last-gasp effort to gain some kind of recognition throughout the Middle East. But they went too far, even for some of the more extreme regimes - and if it had been left at that, 9/11 would have been the biggest mistake ever conceived.

    The biggest mistake ever conceived prior to the Bush Administration's War on Terror that is. What the Bush administration managed to achieve through incompetence and belligerence was turn Al Qaeda's fortunes around and save them from their final death throws.

    So if we're back to pre-9/11 numbers we have a lot to be grateful for, and certainly a lot less to fear from these whackos.

  29. Doobie

    Re: But they won't impeach him

    Of course not. Who in their right mind would give him a blow job?

  30. Bob Jones

    Easy for you to say!

    You're in Dublin ... would you write from London or Glasgow next time and see how safe we are?

  31. the Jim bloke

    Re RE : G.W.B

    Its not WOT, its GWOT, you are obviously spreading disinformation in an attempt to hinder the free nations and support the evil al Quaeda in Cornwall and all their affiliated branches around the globe (which is what the G in GWOT is for)

    BTW, 4th post in mentioned Hitler. This thread is in violation of whatsisnames law.

  32. Rick Barter

    Building #7

    Lets just say the airplanes brought down the twin towers. How do you explain the symetrical fall of #7 only 5 hours after the twin towers fell? All 91 tempered steel support beams were weakened and failed at exactly the same nano second? Listen I don't want to think the worst but there are some pretty big questions left unanswered. It takes weeks to prepare for such a demolition, the explosives had to be in place prior to 911 PERIOD!

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Anonymous

    I have no objection to articles on current affairs in el reg, particularly if they're as well-written as this one. I like the comments too. But I do object to smug nitwits referring to stupid americans - after all, who elected Blair?

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ Bert Ragnarok

    but D:Reams song was soo catchy!! Its not our fault!

  35. Patrick Ernst

    Did Gearge tell the truth?

    My Muslim perspective

    "How did Osama & Co become so prevalent recently? Primarily because George W Bush has been running at the mouth, working the phrase "al Qaeda" into every third or fourth utterance, thus: "The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq are the ones who attacked us in America on September 11th, and that's why what happens in Iraq matters to the security here at home". So said Junior during a recent White House press conference during which he mentioned "al Qaeda" over 30 times."

    If Osama bin Laden ever got a fair and open public trial, which I would doubt, he might just say in his defense that George W may just have spoken the truth here. A truth being so much easier to say than a lie. He might say that the USA is the one bombing innocent people in Iraq and were also responsible for the WTC.

    He might well point out that the WTC crime scene was never adequately quarantined and searched forensically for evidence of the perpetrators (or is that perpetraitors). He may ask why was the evidence cut up, cleaned up and removed without proper investigation. He might suggest that the WTC was designed to take the full impact of a laden Boeing 707 travelling at 500mph. He might suggest that the much of the accelerant burnt outside the building. He might suggest that the black smoke from the building indicated that the flames never got hot enough to incinerate the building let alone make it collapse. He might refer to the evidence, recorded on video, of NY firefighters who discussed the similarity to planned demolitions. He might discuss the power outages in the building in the weeks prior to Sept 11th, purportedly to install new data cable (anybody ever heard of power outages to install fibre) which conveniently meant no security video. He might refer to various witnesses identifying the second plane as *not* a United Airlines aircraft but a grey aircraft without windows - this includes a Fox reporter. He might ask why no steel framed high rise had ever collapsed prior to this, of 3 WTC buildings collapsing.

    Osama may well ask how it was possible for passengers to make mobile (cell) phone calls from flying aircraft. (Try it yourself, just for fun. You'll never get a connection over a couple of thousand feet and no serviceable connection under 2000) He might ask why the Pentagon site was "cleaned" of "aircraft" debris on the day, as opposed to following normal air crash investigation practices of forensically surveying the site for evidence. He might ask how is it possible for an aircraft to strike a building like the Pentagon leaving only a 14" hole (prior to the roof being pulled down), with no impact damage from wings and tailplane. He may very well ask how is it possible that there is NO video footage from of the incident, at this most security conscious US military site (there were 6 cameras on the roof of the wing impacted by the UFO). He might ask where is the video for the nearby carpark - all of it, not 6 frames.

    Do you really think Osama could ever be found guilty in an open court? Frankly I think the US administration should be in court for perverting the course of justice, for subverting the investigation of a crime, for the war crimes of attacking and invading countries in no way associated with this Sept 11th event.

    http://www.911scholars.org

  36. Karl Lattimer

    Can I just point out

    Dick Cheney (emphasis on the Dick) is the one with his hand up the arse of the puppet they call Bush.

    He's got the legislative branch, the executive branch and the judicial branch of government in his hands. He's more powerful than any president has been.

    And he shot someone in the face.

    Someone should impeach Cheney rather than Bush, the fear doesn't originate from the texas hollow head...

    Oh and when I say impeach, I really mean boil in oil.

  37. Neil Hoskins

    Yeah, yeah...

    This has all been known since 2003. What do you think two million of us were shouting about on 15 February of that year? The problem is, how do we convince the sun-reading, foxnews-watching proletariat?

  38. Peter

    Fahrenhiet 911

    Think you should all watch the Micheal Mann film "Fahrenhiet 911" answers all questions.

    Why Bushies went to war.. wasn't about Terror it was all about money. Plain and simple. The CIA escorted the Bin Laden family out of the US post 911!! how mental is that?.

    Roll on 2008, and we "might" get a little sense into the Whitehouse.. but then again we might not...

  39. Hooch181

    We did!

    But the problem didn't start until he started hanging out with Bush, bad influence!

    If you don't want the world to view Americans as "Smug Nitwits", then stop behaving like "Smug Nitwits".

  40. Cameron Colley

    RE: Stupid Americans?

    As other people have pointed out -- the vast (voting) majority of this country are just as stupid and controlled.

    While I like a "dumb American" jibe as much as the next Englishman, suggesting that the US public are stupid without mentioning our current government could be seen as Blair/Brown propaganda to distract us from our own totalitarian regime.

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Safety

    That's the spirit, Bob Jones! If I were you I wouldn't go outside. It's a dangerous world.

    I wonder whether you're in Glasgow or London? Wherever you are, you're more likely to be hit by a car or worried to death by a civil servant than be blown up or set on fire by a terrorist. Especially if the terrorist is one of the new breed of Doctor Dooms.

    London certainly feels pretty safe at the moment to me.

  42. Colin Jackson

    Yeah

    Yeah let's save the holier than thou attitude. We elected Blair with a bigger majority than our American cousins elected Bush.

  43. Hooch181

    Ooops!

    Wrong way around, lol!

  44. Gilbert Wham

    Good Question

    "after all, who elected Blair?"

    Murdoch?

  45. Dax Farrer

    Title

    Yeah, we voted in Blair and on several fronts the guy was OK. He just failed in some key areas, Bush's poodle (he should have made the same response that Heath made to the yanks on Vietnam .. fuck off, where were you in Suez). Political "donations" or rather cash for honours, your honour. But, Tony, he's just this guy you know.

    Things he isn't is stupid, he is also one of the best orators of a generation. He also has not got Cheney's hand up his arse.

    There were damn good reasons to continue to vote NL in, domestic reasons, we have had the longest, most sustained period of growth recent history. Though debt inflation is a worry, its the way the capitalist system works. Can't really cry foul.

    But you voted Bush in after he fucked up the National Economy, hes stripped the working Joe and given it to his rich chums, who are all doing very nice indeed. I can't see one thing this guy has done right. You tell me, what ? Hes universally hated with the lowest popularity stakes of any president since .. hell ever ?? He personally ripped up America's reputation and now your a torturing, renditions, international pariah. On a par with Saudi Arabia. You kidnap people from their homes and streets and give them to people to soften up using techniques that the rest of the world deplores, but to Cheney and Bush its a "no brainer".

    Now I know your average American is actually a pretty friendly guy, I speak to a bunch of them every night. He doesn't seem to represent anyone, does he represent you Bert ?

    As for Rick, keep wearing that tin foil hat mate. Period. I think there are brain cooling versions now available with a little fan. Tell me, lol, what do you think about global warming.

    As for El Reg not doing politics, well, everything is politics baby, everything.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Arrrghhh...By Malachy

    "etc.(you get the idea) if the databases are filled with invalid data, then they become disinformation tools and useless."

    Do I sense a delusion that these databases are today filled with valid data and are utterly useful...? We live in "deaf leading the blind world" in which the incompetence found its warm and cozy home.

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Arrrghhh...By Malachy

    "etc.(you get the idea) if the databases are filled with invalid data, then they become disinformation tools and useless."

    Do I sense a delusion that these databases are today filled with valid data and are utterly useful...? We live in "deaf leading the blind world" in which the incompetence found its warm and cozy home.

  48. Jared Earle

    research is hard, m'kay?

    "Osama may well ask how it was possible for passengers to make mobile (cell) phone calls from flying aircraft. (Try it yourself, just for fun. You'll never get a connection over a couple of thousand feet and no serviceable connection under 2000)" - Patrick 'foil hat' Ernst

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airfone

    "Do you really think Osama could ever be found guilty in an open court?" - Patrick 'foil hat' Ernst

    You assume he'd plead not-guilty. Assumptions make an ass out of you and some guy named umption.

    I'll leave the rest of the black-helicopter work to others.

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How does he getting away (sort of) with saying this stuff...

    "The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq are the ones who attacked us in America on September 11th..."

    And just who has caused the bombing (napalming, fuel-air-explosivizing, white-phosphorizing, machine gunning, torturing, etc, etc) the most innocent people in Iraq then?

    Insert another few pages of stupid ranting here... now I'm done.

  50. A J Stiles

    Why they can't stop Al-Qaeda

    Al-Qaeda is not a hierarchical organisation with "top down" command like a "traditional" army. It is essentially a "bottom-up" organisation, and one with which any autonomous group or individual may claim affiliation if they act in accordance with published ideals. There is "no chain of command from top to bottom". Anytime a few people get together to do something "Al-Qaeda-ish", it is clamed as an Al-Qaeda action and they can call themselves an Al-Qaeda cell. But nobody outside the group knows about the action: it was *not* planned from on high and dictated down. If there is anybody at the "top", they are mere publicists, not organisers.

    This is something completely alien to the traditionalists, and it is why they will never "get" AQ -- in either sense.

    Still, when the cheap Arab oil does eventually run out, so will the influx of US dollars to the Middle East. Then, unable to afford to buy Weapons of Mass Destruction from the West, they will just have to go back to flinging dollops of camel pooh at one another.

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