I am assuming the author is a bit of a retard!
Yes ok PHP is nice an easy but lets be honest now, the majority of dynamic websites out there run off the back of PHP, so it can't be that bad.
Oh and I am guessing you really don't know the weight of a rifle these days!
"For those of you that aren't web developers, this is a bit like trying to kill a person with a rifle by clubbing them in the foot with it, hoping that the blunt end of the weapon will break the skin somehow, and your victim will die of an infection because he's in a place so remote that there's no access to antibiotics."
Considering if you hit someone hard enough with the "foot" (heel or butt I think you may have been looking for there) in the head you could quite easily kill them!