* Posts by s. pam

388 posts • joined 6 Sep 2007

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UC Berkeley profs blast secret IT monitoring kit on campus

s. pam
Facepalm

Janet from another planet has landed

And the spies are crawling from the woodwork like Lice on a damp afternoon!

Who'd of thunk it?

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Leak – UN says Assange detention 'unlawful'

s. pam
Alien

I could sooooo care less about what's his name!

Talk about using all avenues and protesting too much!

Why didn't he just man-up, meet with the team accusing him on safe ground, and save everyone a helluva lotta bother?

I hope this is the end of this noisemaker but I doubt it is!

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Did you know ... Stephen Fry has founded a tech startup?

s. pam
WTF?

I'd hate like hell to hear the elevator pitch

Mr Fry would wibble on incessantly for hours on the what's why's and wherefore's! As I've done a fair bit of technology assessment/ advising to VC's that'd be one startup I'd skip attending and funding meeting!

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BT blames 'faulty router' for mega outage. Did they try turning it off and on again?

s. pam
Coffee/keyboard

Horsefeathers -- was it a DDOS or a failed upgrade?

To air is human but to really fuck things up is a oft overused phrase.

You don't take down a couple hundred thousand users without either being hit by a DDOS or an upgrade gone wrong. No one could be so cheap as to have a SPOF or could they?

Perhaps, BT couldn't get through to the scummy helpLESS lines in OpenReach to get help? That'd be fitting karma!

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Home Office lost its workers' completed security vetting forms

s. pam
Facepalm

No worries, we can trust them all!

Ole Teflon will make lotsa noise in the press about what a hard job it is then nothing will change. Repeat cycle, spin, rinse, repeat cycle.

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Apple’s retail chief: ‘Touching customers’ key to retail success

s. pam

Re: How about touching a REAL UK Keyboard?

Wrong-O

I bought a new iMac 21" in September from apple.com/uk (their UK store!) and it came with a USA keyboard, and NO option to get a UK one.

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s. pam
FAIL

How about touching a REAL UK Keyboard?

That'd be a first -- I'm sick and tired of Apple not getting the fact that not all of the world likes to touch a Yankee only keyboard.

Every damn new Mac comes with a USA keyboard -- epic fail! I have to spend at least 10 mins remapping all the keys!

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Five technologies you shouldn't bother looking out for in 2016

s. pam
Facepalm

"IoT will go mainstream"

For those brave enough, have a follow of the Twitter account @InternetOfShit.

That'll turn anyone into a permanent luddite living in a cave in NW Scotland forever!

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Microsoft: We’ve taken down the botnets. Europol: Would Sir like a kill switch, too?

s. pam
Flame

Seriously? Are they delusional?

They routinely crash PCs with bad updates, or cause lock-ups due to their poor Q/A. So to seriously suggest a kill switch seems counterintuitive as their own product is more than capable of doing just that already!

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Engineer's bosses gave him printout of his Yahoo IMs. Euro court says it's OK

s. pam
Angel

Bwahahaha what a tool!

There's no real surprise in this decision! Companies have Acceptable Use Rules for a reason and clearly the guy felt he was above that rule.

Add in the fact for more than 10 years now, Chat sessions in a corporate environment are likely in many companies to be logged, just as email is for compliance &/or regulatory reasons.

He should not be moaning for sympathy -- which BTW is between shite and syphilus in the O.E.D. !

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Stephen Hawking reckons he's cracked the black hole paradox

s. pam
Thumb Up

Let's send Jeremy Hunt

To test out Hawking's new theory as he clearly is smarter than everyone!

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Come in Internet Explorers, your time is up. Or not. Up to you

s. pam
Boffin

I'd say the bookies should make a mint

Holding book on which banks get pwned first for still running IE6 and IE7 although I know a UK bank with instances of IE5 still in place!

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Boozing is unsafe at ‘any level’, thunders chief UK.gov quack

s. pam
Headmaster

Which cash-sucking consulting firm is involved?

I've just done the survey.

It has too much consultant-speak and should simply say "drinking whilst pregnant may injure, deform, or destroy your unborn child". Or it should say "drinking too much may damage necessary organs, cause you to injure yourself" or "drinking too much in one session will cause you to have spawn just like yourself"!

The instructions to the pubic are filled with thousands of words when 10-20 would suffice!

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Spooks, spyware, Ashley Madison and Windows 10: What you read in 2015

s. pam
Thumb Down

If El Reg had any cajones......

You'd have taken aim at Adobe Flash and the scourge of the interweb it truly is!

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Chat messages in Skype for Windows are bang out of order – so here's how to 'fix' it for now

s. pam
Pirate

Mac version is a 3-D cluster...

The last 3 Mac updates are utter butt roll leftovers of non-working code. It's gotten so bad we've had to keep a spare DMG around our home to clean up when a new turd arrives.

How could someone so fuck up a working product..??

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Patch now! Flash-exploitin' PC-hijackin' attack spotted in the wild by Huawei bods

s. pam
Mushroom

"If you haven't already enabled click-to-play for Flash in your browser".....

Did that, we've purged Flash is Trash from ALL computers in our family. And extended family. And closest friends.

Adobe should have their doors forcibly closed for perpetuating Flash!

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UK says wider National Insurance number use no longer a no-no

s. pam
Holmes

Aegon is sure as hell using NiNo !!!

I've got a long standing mess with Aegon where they've LOST my home address yet cheerfully accepted monthly Pension contributions that I think I've finally fixed.

The proof you may ask?

Today I received a form from Aegon demanding all the stuff I've already provided 7 years of proof for, AND a "fill in your NiNo here" boxes for it to go into.

Having no choice as I want to get 15 years of Pension moved to another company I've had to comply. Hopefully they don't fuck up management and securing my personal data!

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Man faces 37 years for sarcastic post insulting royal dog

s. pam
Pint

Que Pasa Bato, Fido Tacos anyone

I once went to a upscale taqueria in Mexico City with some co-workers whilst working there. The meat was grey, but tasty and with a few beers, seemed ok.

They asked me on the way back to the office how I liked DOG Tacos? Perhaps a nice Dog Pud Thai would be more to the King's liking?

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Mozilla looses Firefox 43, including Windows 64-bit variant

s. pam
Facepalm

How about "World has flushed Firefox"?

The lack of modernisation coupled with the malware and lack of security updates mean to many it is flushed from their $home, $work, and $life.

Shame, they fscked things up so badly they handed the market to Chrome.

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11

Adobe: We locked our customers in the cloud and out poured money

s. pam
Thumb Down

Now, FLUSH Flash

If you're really wanting to make some money Adobe, FLUSH Flash and see customers return.

The Ebola virus of network security nightmares ='s I won't spend a pence with you until you do.

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Booming Ballmer bellows 'bulls**t' over Microsoft's cloud revenue run rate

s. pam
Alert

I guess it's no different than the $40B

That MSFT were telling all SW developers was the revenue to be made supporting $harepoint. Glad that wasn't bullshit then SteveO.

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Microsoft Office 365, Azure portals offline for many users in Europe

s. pam
IT Angle

It's raining turds and birds

Oh gee what a surprise -- I can't get into email for the company I'm contracting to due to MSFT. I've been trying to get into their email for 2 hours with little luck, even tried reboots, different browsers.

I guess I'll go remove the caulk in my shower that's leaking then.

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Oh em gee – Adobe kills Flash Professional (it's called Animate now)

s. pam
Flame

Now fucking kill Flash completely!!!!

In the name of all things Holy, PLEASE,

Get your Ebola virus of an app off of the Internet once and for all!

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All hail Firefox Dev Edition 44 – animations, memory and all

s. pam
FAIL

Isn't FF a painful orifice tool?

FF, pah humbug. Rubbish SW.

Deleted from all our systems for FF's owners sins.

End of transmission.

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Lights, power, action! Smartplugs with a twist

s. pam
FAIL

Americans are so lazy...

FFS -- a plug to turn something off? W. T. F. ...?

It'll all end in VERY expensive epic fail when all the plugs are behind furniture.

Oh well, they'll never make a UK equivalent Americans never go overseas or over the border anyway!

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Remember Windows 1.0? It's been 30 years (and you're officially old)

s. pam
Thumb Down

What about: Windows for Whackos?

You forgot the Ebola Virus of MSFT OS's: Windows for Workgroups which routinely barfed all over the network. WfW was short for "we ain't got a fucking clue about networks, but we're the Borg and damnit, you better do as we say".

WfW was a great believer in networks should all be set to a netmask of 255.0.0.0, or in other terms, it only worked in a Bridged network...

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Brit cops accused of abusing anti-terror laws to hunt colleague

s. pam
Holmes

Wow -- who'd have thunk it?

Police abusing their power?

Never!

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Your taxes at work: Three hours driving to turn on politician's PC

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Trident test-shot startles West Coast Americans

s. pam
Black Helicopters

Americans get all dazed and confused

By brights lights and shiny objects.

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Spanish town trumpets 'Clitoris Festival' thanks to Google snafu

s. pam
Facepalm

Finger-licking good

When consumed with a Bud or two...

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In-a-spin Home Sec: 'We won't be rifling through people's web history'

s. pam
Boffin

Liar Liar, pants on Fire

Sorry but anyone who believes Teflon Theresa May be sectioned at no notice!

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HMRC 'reluctant' to crack down on VAT fraudsters – tax ace

s. pam
Facepalm

HMRC Goon Squadies would rather bugger taxpayers

The Goon Squadies would rather bugger the likes of you and me for small mistakes by driving a Eurostar train up our backsides than actually do something that could grab the real criminals.

I've just finished the end of a 4 year nightmare with them for a £202 mistake. End result was a £9,100 fine, yet they won't get off their arses and go after YodaPhone, Amazon (hint: they're in Dumfermline Scotland HMRC) or others.

Scum.

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Volvo eyes kangaroo detection tech

s. pam
Mushroom

Fix your sodding DSG transmissions first

Volvo needs to fix their self-destructing, "That'll be £5,500 please" gearboxes before worrying about not killing Skippy! Volvo's Epicfail answer is "TADTS" which is far from good enough!

This burned us so badly on a 2010 V50 a temporary fix was done and we dumped the car.

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NATS climbs into the cloud to fight legacy software snafus

s. pam
IT Angle

All Flights are delayed to/from LHR due to The Cloud

Who the "£$%^ are they listening who are smoking G*d knows what?

NATS has proven itself as expensive and flaky with shiny new things as The Met.

I can see this decision will end in hours of hand wringling whilst consultants make gazillions!

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Online pharmacy slapped with £130,000 fine for flogging customer data

s. pam
FAIL

So what happens?

If you've actually bought something from these c-nuts? I bought some stop smoking thingies from them. So are my personal details out in the wild, and if so what's my reward?

Seems to me a years free Experian would be a good start!

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

s. pam

No Carly, you cannot make the other Presidential debaters wear those!

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Good news: Adobe bangs out Flash patch fast. Bad news: Google's defenses were useless

s. pam
Mushroom

Flash is a diorhea that just won't end

Would someone PLEASE PUT Adobe out of our misery?

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Fingerprints, facial scans, EU border data slurp too tasty for French to resist

s. pam
FAIL

Phuck Off Phrenchy!

This smells worse than 5yr old toe or navel cheese and just goes to show why France is where all the illegals should be locked *into*.

Sacre Bleu what idiots they are! Cloud Cuckoo land is ringing!

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Adobe to brick eight Acrobat, Reader flaws next Tuesday

s. pam
Flame

How about they shitcan that fucking Flash ?

Flash is the real hole into hell from them and must be cancelled as a product now and put out of our misery.

They should get a clue that the BROWSERS are now blocking it and shitcan it now!

Flash is Trash - friends don't let friends have Flash on their computers!

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BBC joins war against Flash, launches beta HTML5 iPlayer

s. pam
Flame

It took them fucking long enough

"Flash is Trash" has been the slogan of many for 10 years yet Auntie desperately clinged onto the Ebola Virus of animation. One would have to think Auntie had a sweetheart deal with the vendor or something, the way they've clinged onto clunker technology.

Then it was, *gasp*, Air which was like a root canal done via your back passage with no nitrous oxide. Flaky, bug ridden, constantly crashing bag of bits.

Auntie needs to have a lot of their Techies sacked and get Standards knowledgeable programmers onboard before the firm is so irrelevant.

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Bill Bailey: The man, the musician, the comic, the troll, the legend

s. pam
Facepalm

Wrong wrong wrong El Reg!

We saw Bill Bailey perform live last week in Maidenhead - he's already on tour.

Sadly he used some recycled bits and is still working out what might be funny. We were a bit disappointed having seen him quite a fe times.

Caveat Emptor.

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PETA monkey selfie lawsuit threatens wildlife photography, warns snapper at heart of row

s. pam
FAIL

Is Morrissey in d'hood?

People

Eating

Tasty

Animals

Pissed-Off

Egalitarian

Tossers

Assholes

Are so full of crap it is truly sickening. They're almost the lowest form of life, or is that Solicitors & Accountants? It is so hard to tell!

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South Korea to NUKE Microsoft ActiveX

s. pam
Megaphone

Can we get them to NUKE FLASH while they're at it?

In the name of things deserving to DIE DIE DIE, please fucking kill off Adobe Flash whilst you're at it South Korea.

Extra Kim Yum Yum points if you do!

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Adobe patches Flash dirty dozen, ignores 155 in Shockwave shocker

s. pam
Mushroom

Would someone FUCKING KILL off Flash?

For the love of all things holy, even MSFT killed off insecure rubbish (although consumers/companies ignored them).

Flash is the Ebola Virus of the Internet!

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Rackspace looks to have bypassed vCloud Director upgrade

s. pam
Flame

vClud Director is almost as fucked up as vSphere Web Client

As someone who has sat, pounding my head onto a spike for hours with vCD I can assure you that ANYTHING (including a root canal w/o anaesthetic done from my back passage) would be a welcome break. vCD in my experience is a kludgy, browser malviolent application that also boasts Java as one of its sins. Add to it vCloud Air in the mix and misadventures explode logarithmicly for the amount of inconsistency and pain one must endure.

I wish anyone entering this market well -- it desperately needs better tools.

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Another chance to win a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive

s. pam

EU regulators cower in fear over latest Google search extensions

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Should all Europeans be able to watch Estonian football? Consultation launched

s. pam
Black Helicopters

Just buy a damn Freesat box and be done with it!

Go to electronics store.

Buy Freesat box.

Point at appropriate satellite.

Fine tune.

Job well done.

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Carders fleece $4.2 million from Victoria's MyKi transport agency

s. pam
Facepalm

Nah, don't pay them that's the game!

I used to commute from Sydney to Melbourne regularly to visit customers. I never paid, and did so having learned it was only AU$10 fine (£4-5) if you got caught. Given there were never any ticket checkers, the easy part was to just jump off at a stop if you saw them getting on.

Melbournians are well versed in this game -- only tourists and overseas visitors and mugs pay on their system.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Southern biscuits and gravy

s. pam
Happy

A fine staple of hangovers in the Southern USA....

add Chicken Fried Steak, Hash Browns and 2 Eggs scrambled and even your WORST Tequila hangover will be gone!

When I get to go to Texas I look forward to Biscuits & Gravy. My English wife says it looks like baby puke on scones, but who gives a fsck!

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Help! Our Virgin Media TiVo boxes are stuck in a loop! Help! Our Virgin..

s. pam
FAIL

Re: Oddly enough

It's been shitting all over itself for the last 3 days in Area 31 where we live, hiccup, burp, fart, puke then fine for a while the rinse & repeat cycle. Makes working from home awfully fucking hard.

Must go back to garden and trim flowers !!

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