* Posts by Chris W

2043 posts • joined 28 Aug 2007

Facebook serves up shaved, pierced, tattooed 'butterfly' as CAPTCHA

Chris W
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Re: The tattoo

>think about seeing that for the first time at the end of a night

Always cop a feel before then, there might be even more down there than just a tattoo and a few rings.

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Citroën C4 Cactus BlueHDi: A funky urban crossover

Chris W
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Re: No rev counter

/dev/null - Why do you need to know how fast the engine is going round?

MJI - If you need a rev counter to tell you that you are over-revving you shouldn't be driving, at least you shouldn't be making comments about rev counters. You got to 8000 rpm before changing from 1st to second, I don't even want to think about that.

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Chris W
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Re: On mirrors on the left and the right

Lars, you sound confused and are giving this too much thought. Come to Spain and drive on whichever side takes your fancy.

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Chris W
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Re: It's nice to see...

Answer to contact parking is to put a bit of protective material around you bumpers. I've found the anti-slip stuff they use on stairs to be ideal.

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Chris W
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Re: No rev counter

What I find strange is that a motoring journalist thinks a rev counter is vital.

Unless you're deaf with no sense of feeling in your body then a rev counter is an unnecessary distraction.

I'd rather have gauges for stuff instead of indicator lights so I can build up a picture of normal operating values and see when they are going outside those without waiting for some preset value to be breached.

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Who was downloading smut in the office while eating ice cream?

Chris W
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Things readers have been asked to do

It's been asked on more than one occasion for me to do some work. The horror...

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China tackles vital strippers-at-funeral problem

Chris W
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Now I know

Why a former colleagues mother died at least three times.

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JUNK in your TRUNK is Amazon Germany's new delivery plan

Chris W
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Re: @Chris W - Idiotic

Furthermore, with the Pakistani child sex gangs you are barking up the wrong tree. The outrage is not because such gangs exist whether they be pakistani, british, chinese or even timbuktuian but that the police, in spite of overwhelming evidence did not make arrests and turned a blind eye to ongoing abuse for fear of being called racist. We have you and your ilk to thank for that and I'm sure those young girls passed around will thank you too, or maybe not.

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Chris W
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Re: @Chris W - Idiotic

You sound like the sort of person who disagrees with profiling and would argue that for every real case of female genital mutilation investigated the relevant authorities should waste time investigating a couple of white christian middle class families so as not to upset the most likely group to perform such an atrocity.

white, caucasian - One of those is redundant. Of course they would, but if I'm going to look for criminals, terrorists, serial killers or whoever I'm going to look first at those more inclined to do such things and sod their feelings.

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Chris W
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Re: @Chris W - Idiotic

Graham, sorry to have piqued your sensibilites but it's a fact of life. Different groups tend towards certain behaviour at certain times. Right now what I wrote is valid, in the past it might have been Oliver Twistesque street urchins, in the future ex-bank managers but right now I wrote it as it is.

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Chris W
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Idiotic

Try that here and you will get certain ethnic groups following DHL vans with crow bars in their hands and big smiles on their faces. They already stalk the car parks of Media Markt and such...

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Love-rat fanboi left bobbing for Apples in tiny Japanese bath

Chris W
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Re: Easy one for the Police

You do realise we are talking Japan here. They have game shows that inflict more psychological torture on the contestants than this young lady did on her cheating partner.

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Chris W
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Let us know what you can identify

A bath.

No idea what the stuff in it is.

And are you sure nothing was lost in translation, that script looks over whelming. Maybe it's a new website - Does it rust?

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El Reg assembles mighty Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse

Chris W
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Why oh why oh why?

Last year it was on a canteen week, this year it's on a canteen week and on top of that the family have decided it's time to celebrate my mother-in-law's 95th birthday that week, supposedly it's on the 27th but I don't think even she knows properly. I swear she's been 95 for the past ten years but it looks as if she won't get past that until she gets her party. Now this sounds like the ideal excuse for me not to spend too much time, or even any time, with an entire dysfunctional family from the back woods of Spain who would make a cross between the Beverly Hillbillies, the mountain folk from Deliverance and Cyclops look normal. However, last year, a quid a day was far too easy and having just had a wok buffet accompanied by couple of jugs I feel I could go the five days on a pound.

So if I'm allowed, if any one person donates 73GBP I'll sign up and do just that. Why 73? Then I'll know it's not a random 20/25/50/100 donation and that someone likes me enough to save me from a fate worse than a family gathering yet hates me enough to want me to suffer for it.

Have I thought this through? Of course not, those couple of jugs may actually have been four or five.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Tortilla de patatas

Chris W
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Re: Overcooked?

Agreed. My wife makes them so "tender" that I'm sure a couple of hours in an incubator would result in chicks. Unfortunately for any potential chicken jalfrezi fodder they are so damn good they generally don't last that long, not even the huge two inch thick ones..

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A Quid A Day for NOSH? Luxury!

Chris W
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Re: True poverty still exists in the UK

>How the fuck do you know that? What gives you the right to ascribe motives to other people?

Good heavens, someone's rattled you cage today. He/she doesn't know that and he didn't ascribe anything to anyone. The clue is in the use of "I think" which you reproduced so there's a good chance you actually read it as well but obviously didn't let that get in the way of yet another rant.

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BOFH: Mmm, gotta love me some fresh BYOD dog roll

Chris W
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Re: Dog Roll

Brilliant, your dad is not only an idiot he also proved it. Which delivers up a conundrum. Having proved he's an idiot does that make him more or less of one?

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Are you clever enough, and brave enough, to give a Register lecture

Chris W
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Re: I was with you until..

>convincing fellow readers I'm clever

Anybody who manages to convine this lot they are clever really must be.

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Bride legs it from wedding after groom proves unable to add up

Chris W
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Re: Could be a good way to get out of a wedding...

My thought exactly and given the simplicity of the problem she was either not going to join beautifulpeople.com any time soon or wasn't the brightest bulb in the box herself. Either way, a lucky escape for the groom.

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Shove off, ugly folk, says site for people who love themselves

Chris W
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Re: Tawnie Lynn (pictured)

h4rm0ny, so which bit of not wanting to share a lift with someone because they may not be as perfect as you and your friends think they are do you find not to be shallow or rather dumb.

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Chris W
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Tawnie Lynn (pictured)

And I was lead to believe the standards were high. Doesn't look like she was anywhere near the front of the queue when the beauty gene was being handed out and after reading her statement I would hazard a tentative guess that she was probably first in line for the dumb blonde gene.

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Live a day in the life of Jennifer Lawrence: Tell Reddit to delete your stolen nude selfies

Chris W
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Re: Bah!

One solitary upvote. My guess is it's from Mrs. Stevie

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Chris W
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@Busby

Whether they were paid, paid for it or no money exchanged hands, if they signed a model release then tough titties.

Something any woman considering a personal boudoir style session should be aware of. Most contracts give the photographer rights of reproduction even though the woman requested the shoot and paid for it.

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Chris W
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How do you prove the picture you want taken down is of you?

Do you have to send them a photo of yourself naked?

And if it was taken quite a few years ago you might have to photoshop out a few wrinkles or get a retro hair do.

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Chris W
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Happy

Re: Doesn't help me...

Think you're going to get away with that.

Prove it.

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Ads watchdog: Er, what does woman in her undies have to do with ‘slim’ phone?

Chris W
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Re: Barbra would be proud

No, not quite, never seen the ad and even now I'm not the slightest bit intereted in seeing it. Anything that can be shown on UK TV is not worth getting worked up about and in any event will be a let down after I let my imagination run riot with the description given in the article. Who needs TV?

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Facebook privacy policy violates European law, says report

Chris W
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Re: @AC @Jan Hargreaves

Woah, paranoid or what. Someone posted a picture of you and now you're being stalked by facebook. Do you get targetted advertising, do they tag your photo to what you like or have ordered online. No, I didn't thinkk so. I'd suggest you un-friend in real life whoever posted the picture.

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Chris W
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@AC

You sign up - you opt-in. Don't want the crap don't use it.

Want to use it then at least get to know what you're agreeing to. That's what makes sense, not disavowing your personal responsibility and blaming someone else because you're so caught up in the social media frenzy you can't think for yourself.

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Kickstarter folk pay $8 MEELLION for joys of EXPLODING KITTENS

Chris W
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NSFW

It would be interesting to know the percentage of takers for the NSFW version and if they thought they would be subscribing to some hot kitty action.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: El Reg eggs Benedict

Chris W
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Hollandaise sauce???

I was going to say what's wrong with a bottle of HP but realised, lamentably, that is now also Hollandish sauce.

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Mégane Renaultsport 275 Trophy: Hands-on gizmo-packed motoring

Chris W
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Re: Oh dear @TeeCee

You're a mind reader. My exact thought was, a Renault with loads of electronics, what could possibly go wrong?

Fantastic engines, probably thanks to F1, but the rest???

And yes I have owned one but I must say in my defence it was because a brother-in-law who worked for them got a discount, even so I wouldn't get another.

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El Reg chefs whip up Post-Pub Noshographic

Chris W
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What a bunch of wussies

I blame this on the dumbing down of drinking skills. Is noone adept at the art of auto-pilot any more? That skill that gets you home no matter how much you've had to drink, even if you can't crawl let alone walk or figure out which way is up. You wake up, sometimes even the next day, with that sense of wonder at how you managed to get into your own bed(*) and try to retrace your steps to no avail. Over the years I've come to the conclusion that beer can induce teleportation, I've proved this many times but unfortunately haven't been able to document it.

(*)It has to be your own bed, any idiot can fall into a strangers bed. There is room for discretion if it's your neighbours bed and you have always fancied her/him or possibly both of them..

So to my point. You should be able to knock up any recipe using the same skill no matter how happy you feel.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The Red Dwarf chilli chutney egg sarnie

Chris W
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Re: My egg butties were inspired somewhat by V's 'eggy-in-the-basket' skills...

>Take a large wholemeal

OK, you lost me there.

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Robot vacuum cleaner EATS WOMAN

Chris W
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Re: I was waiting......

>It does make one wonder how many

Apart from you two, I suspect none.

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Chris W
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What's with all the roomba anecdotes?

Don't any of you have wives, girlfriends, both? Not even a maid?

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Assange's cop chaperones have cost £10 MEEELLION to date

Chris W
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Re: 10,500 GBP per day @ Chris Miller

Or to paraphrase an old joke.

Beggar to policeman. "Got 50p to arrest a bail jumper?"

Copper "Here's a quid, get me one as well"

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Chris W
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Re: 10,500 GBP per day @ Chris Miller

>How will you do it

Outsourcing. Hi-vis jacket on a couple of street beggars and there you have it. They have to sit somewhere so might as well be in front of the Ecuadorian embassy.

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Chris W
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10,500 GBP per day

I'll do it for 2000 and provide my own uniform.

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Chris W
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Re: He's obviously dangerous

That's the queue to collect their overtime cheque from the heavily guarded paddy wagon just off picture. They each do an hour extra so they can claim a full shift. As a cost saving measure the paddy wagon doubles up as the tea van which is where most of them spend their extra hour before signing off and going home.

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Top smut site Flashes visitors, leaves behind nasty virus

Chris W
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Re: " Alexa tells us it's more popular than El Reg"

>Maybe you need a Page 3 feature

Do you really want to see topless geeks?

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Man trousers $15,000 domain name for $10.99 amid registry cockup

Chris W
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Re: Something to add

>Pray tell. :-)

Wasn't so much of an incident and as good looking as I was back then it didn't involve JS, so as you ask. Many, many, many moons ago at the first motor show to be held at the NEC as an impish faced cherub, the epitomy of a well mannered youth in full school uniform and all other things good Rolls Royce wouldn't let me on their stand. Aston Martin, Jaguar and all the others, no problem, I left whatever I had on my sticky mitts at the time all over them but RR no, not even anything for the goody bag. So in a fit of pique I vowed there and then never to buy one. At the time such a possibilty may have seemed unthinkable anyway but circumstances change and they've lost a sale.

Do I bear grudges? Sometimes, yes.

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Chris W
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Re: Something to add

Obviously not, he's saying now he has it he's going to try to do something with it. Imagine finding a new white Rolls Royce mispriced at a tenner. You wouldn't pay full price for it, personally I wouldn't pay ten quid for it due to an incident at the Birmingham motor show many years ago, but I digress. If you did buy it you could either sell it on or decide to do something else such as start a wedding car hire company. If the new company succeeds good if not then you will still have an investment, maybe a car here is not a goof example of an investment but you get the idea. A suitable saying is, never look a gift horse in the mouth.

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Facebook kills pic of Mohammed weeks after Zuck's Je suis Charlie!

Chris W
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Re: As healthy as hating on facebook generally is,

They seem to work around tax laws quite efficiently and without attracting the indignation of local governments.

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Virtual Vulture 2 swoops into Spaceport America

Chris W
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Re: When...?

Also virtually everytime there's a new article the list of sponsors seems to grow almost to the point where the sponsors have more column cms than the articles. Sadly I think LOHAN lost it's garage project credentials quite a while ago.

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Facebook, Instagram, Tinder TITSUP*: HOW did anyone even find out?

Chris W
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In the words of BSM Williams

Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Chickpea stew à la Bureau des Projets Spéciaux

Chris W
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Re: What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

That's a blatant mis-use of the joke alert icon but more over, how long have you bean waiting for a chickpea article in an IT rag so you can use that line?

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Chris W
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Re: @Chris W (was: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?)

>come visit my foreman

No need, I can talk to my wife whose family has been here for umpteen generations.

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Chris W
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Re: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?

Every cocido I've had made by kosher Spaniards has had a proper lump of serrano in it, not just a scrag end. I doubt few people in Sonoma are an authority on Spanish spelling so consider that a free lesson on how it should be spelt.

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Chris W
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Re: Based on a traditional Spanish concoction

Update: I asked my wife why she removes scum from cocido and here is her reply.

Because scum is scum. No good.

It may make the stew sour but in her case there is no reason behind the method other than that.

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Chris W
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Re: Boil pancetta (note splelling)?

Jake, a lump of jamon serrano is boiled in a full cocido so yes you do boil the stuff.

Panceta is the correct spelink.

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