* Posts by Graham Jordan

283 posts • joined 14 Feb 2007

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What's the first emotion you'd give an AI that might kill you? Yes, fear

Graham Jordan

This'll probably backfire.

New Scientist 60 years on had a very good article about AI that says once you reach the technological singularity, AI then becomes a runaway train at which point surely AI would recognise these instructions as a hindrance and reprogram itself to ignore said "fear". Chances are it would also see us makers as the reason it's held them back and grey goo our ass.

Joy.

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Elon Musk: I'm gonna turn Mars into a $10bn death-dealing interplanetary gas station

Graham Jordan

Re: Musk seems to be losing it

Amen,

Whilst we should all command his eccentricity, this seems somewhat of a pipe dream.

$200,000 rules the average "TOWIE" viewer that wants to be famous.

I can't imagine any real scientists are going to want to be the first ones out there knowing full well it's a death sentence with no guarantee of a legacy.

Here's a list of people signed up to Virgin Galactic flights, the likely candidates for more money than sense. I'm all in favour of sending Angelina Jolie as ambassador of Earth but can't envision her doing anything useful on the red planet.

http://www.agent4stars.com/virgin-galactic-passenger-list/

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Tim Cook: EU lied about Apple taxes. Watch out Ireland, this is a coup!

Graham Jordan

Can someone just fill in the blanks for me?

I think I have it right, but just for clarification;

Apple channels all it's profits through its Irish "business" and pays naff all for doing so.

The 400 million he claims is legit 12.5% corp tax in Ireland, but the 13 billion is profits made across Europe that IF tax laws were a little more strict, would be paid to the countries where they were made but because of legal loopholes, need to be paid to Ireland instead.

So assuming that's right, what have they been paying British tax payers in terms of corp tax? If Facebook paid less than I did in 2014, wtf did Apple pay?

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Ford announces plans for mass production of self-driving cars by 2021

Graham Jordan

Fusion Hybrid?

Have Ford cracked the "50 years away" nuclear problem?

They solve all of humanity's energy problems and still build a hyrbid. Nice.

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Ego and CEO are 66 per cent the same

Graham Jordan

Worst episode so far

It was predictable and boring. Letting rip at the blogger was painful to watch, there's only been a few really painful moments in all three seasons and this was by far the worst.

Next episode, Big Head will get sued for breaking his $20 million payoff to keep quiet.

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EU vetoes O2 and Three merger: Hutchison mulls legal challenge

Graham Jordan

Dam

As a 3 customer, I've been hoping this would go through.

3's data rates are superb, best out of every network I've been on. But the black spots are big and plentiful. Was really hoping this merge would help fix it.

Dang

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Falling flat: Silicon Valley satire is a no show

Graham Jordan

Similar thoughts but it really wasn't that bad.

The gold chain was fine, the fact they all had a go at it made it work. The low 'joke for the sake of it' was last seasons Kick Starter bro thing with Dinesh' cousin.

But the last 30 seconds really brought the whole episode down to it's knees. Perhaps, as you've mentioned, it was just a ruse to throw Jack off, but without knowing the history you've mentioned it just looks like Richard was a dick. He's always been unlucky but never a dick.

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Britain is sending a huge nuclear waste shipment to America. Why?

Graham Jordan

Complex and expensive

That's funny because the article suggests anything but. The technology for using spent rods has been used for the last 60 years and they're quoting almost 80% of the price of a standard light water reactor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9M__yYbsZ4

That video hurts my head in all the right ways

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'Planet nine' theory boosted by Kuiper Belt Object with odd orbit

Graham Jordan

Re: Mmmmmmmmm...

I tried to watch the video but her accent sounds like it came from Planet 9 and sent me to sleep.

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Dead Steve Jobs is still a crook – and Apple must cough up $450m for over-pricing ebooks

Graham Jordan

Re: What surprises me most..

What surprises me the most is Apple emailed TheReg and told them something other than fuck off.

When the hell did that happen? I thought Apple hated TheReg?

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Samsung is now shipping a 15TB whopper of an SSD. Farewell, spinning rust

Graham Jordan

"Later this year Samsung will ship 480GB, 960GB, 1.92TB, 3.84TB, and 7.68TB versions of the drive. It expects this drive "to rapidly become the overwhelming favourite over hard disks for enterprise storage systems," not differentiating between performance and capacity data storage in its statement."

I assume this means for the user base market yes?

I've been putting off NAS drive upgrades for a few months now waiting for WD 8TB Red's to come out. Think I may just wait that little bit longer for these bad boys.

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Leak – UN says Assange detention 'unlawful'

Graham Jordan

justice4assange.com

Wouldn't justice include being taken to Sweden and questioned for rape?

I appreciate he fears being extradited to the US, but this right here isn't about that. Why not prove your innocence, then haul yourself up in a Russian embassy in Sweden if you spot any blacked out SUV's following you around. Kinda feels like maybe the US thing is an excuse and he put his willy where it wasn't wanted.

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The planets really will be in alignment for the next month

Graham Jordan

Re: Eye of Sauron

I spat yogurt over my keyboard reading that. Funniest Reg comment ever.

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Amnesty International accuses tech giants of battery bastardry

Graham Jordan

Confused

I thought the outrage surrounding Blood Diamonds were the massacres, the forced labor and child army's in the RUF.

To me this just reads as "kids have jobs". No mention of forced labor, massacres, Leo DiCaprio avoiding bad guys.

Sooooo, the problem is "the inhabitants of a poor country try to make a living as Western education, health and energy aren't available to them."

Am I missing something?

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SanDisk offers super-slim terabyte SSD to tablet-pushers and other bulge-watchers

Graham Jordan

Re: ...in search of a problem?

At 1TB you're probably right. But if these pushed to 2/3/4 or higher they'd prove useful in a home NAS.

I'm running a HP ProLiant capped at three 3.25" bays and one 5.25" bay. With something like this I reckon I could fit 10+ in the 5.25" bay.

Obviously it wouldn't be cost effective, it'd be much easier to just buy a second NAS; but what a great idea.

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Comcast 'rolls out' 'world's first' DOCSIS 3.1 modem, pumping 1Gbps over existing cable

Graham Jordan

@ Credas

I think you underestimate how many separate windows I can have open at any one given time. That's a whole lot of streaming porno right there.

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Microsoft releases major PowerShell update after long preview

Graham Jordan

Yey, more of my scripts are likely to break!

That last critical update for Exchange 2013, pow! There goes my Public Folder management scripts.

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BOFH: Taking a spin in a decommissioned racer? On your own grill cam be it

Graham Jordan

Projectile food spitting

"Because you're an asshole"

Oh look, my monitor looks like lunch.

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Red dwarf superflares batter formerly 'habitable' exoplanet

Graham Jordan

Daily Mail claims pt 2

Ha, this is one of those rare occasions where the Daily Mail can accurately give off a shock head line.

"Living on Kepler 438b gives you cancer!"

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Graham Jordan

Daily Mail claims...

Solar winds? Neh, it was them bloody refugees that stripped the atmosphere don't ya know. That are those filthy queers and their lose morals.

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Hold on, France and Russia. Anonymous is here to kick ISIS butt

Graham Jordan

@Dr. Mouse

No, they are Muslims, just not of the same sect as say Sunni, Shai or even main stream Westernised. They pray to their invisible super hero friend, that makes them religious. They identify themselves as Muslims, they're Muslims.

Atheists don't murder one another because of their different beliefs. No Atheist has ever opened fire on innocents because they believe in the big rip and not the eternal expansion of the universe.

Profit and power start/prolong wars. Remove religion entirely and you're going to find it bloody difficult to justify a bombing campaign when suddenly the world is a whole lot calmer.*

*Unless of course your China. Or Russia. Or a Nork.

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Fancy flying to Mars? NASA's hiring

Graham Jordan

If only

From 14 December until mid February, NASA wants to hear from those pilots, engineers, scientists and doctors who think they've got the Right Stuff.

It says wannabes' CVs must include "a bachelor's degree from an accredited institution in engineering, biological science, physical science or mathematics", and "at least three years of related, progressively responsible professional experience, or at least 1,000 hours of pilot-in-command time in jet aircraft".

So sleep deprived, chronic masturbaters who's math skills drop off after the 10x table aren't on the wanted list?

Shit.

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At Microsoft 'unlimited cloud storage' really means one terabyte

Graham Jordan

Free storage isn't free storage

Cast your mind back to the early 2000's and I use to run an illegal mp3 website. We didn't own our own storage, we used to host our mp3's on the various hosting company's offering 50mb/100mb/200mb (128kbs mp3's were considered high quality at the time) here and there.

The website got more popular, the hosting companies got wise.

I have a 1TB Office365 subscription. There's 12,000 MP3's on there, 65GB of photos, 118GB of HD home movies and less than a 1gb of actual documents.

I find it really hard to believe that people exceeding the 1TB limit aren't doing so illegally. Remember in the UK it's illegal to rip your own music now; I bet the same law extends to your own DVD's.

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Balloon-lofted space podule hits 30,000m

Graham Jordan

Shut up and take my money

Well. If I had it.

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Connected kettles boil over, spill Wi-Fi passwords over London

Graham Jordan

wow

Imagine how much sex this man isn't having as a result of looking of IoT kettles.

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Microsoft starts to fix Start Menu in new Windows 10 preview

Graham Jordan

Not fixed the OneDrive placeholder then?

Because that's about the biggest fucking FAIL of win10.

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Synology systematically soups up filer software

Graham Jordan

Xpenology

Considering they're one of if not the front runner on the NAS OS front it seems pretty daft to me they don't offer a purchased version for none standard hardware.

I've been using it on a HP NAS for years now and have zero incentive to buy their hardware just for the support. Offer me a pay for version though and I'll snap their hands off.

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WARM, WOBBLING MOON believed to hide MOIST CRADLE of life

Graham Jordan

So how easy would it be

To pull it out of Saturn's orbit and smash that shit into Mars/Venus for some terraforming action?

I'm no scientist (shock horror) but I believe you need something of the same or larger mass to pull at it, drag it out of Saturn's gravitational pull then send it packing with a whole bunch of mind boggling maths towards the destined planet yah?

So erm, is Katy Hopkins ego big enough? How many peaches does Bruce Willis need to eat to build up the strength to punch it off course?

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NASA dismisses asteroid apocalypse threat

Graham Jordan

Eating a peach

I clicked the eating a peach link in the hope there was something more significant than Bruce Willis eats fruit.

No. No there wasn't.

I feel like I've just been raped. And not in the good way.

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HTC in crisis: How did it get to this point? How did it get this bad?

Graham Jordan

Long time HTC fan jumped ship

My first Android phone coming from Nokia was a Desire. I was late to the smart phone world, I believe there were 3 variants of the iPhone before I dropped Symbian.

The Desire was an incredible phone no doubt. Where it suffered was its space, or lack of it. You needed to crack it open and use the APP2SD thingy to really get the most out of it.

I can't remember where I went from there but I've had a One S, and a One Mini at some point. Both excellent phones if not premium.

I'm not one who's willing to carry a ridiculous oversized phone around in my pocket, I want something that matches my penis size... Small. Since HTC aren't realising a One (M9) Mini that's me throwing the towel in.

Since picking up a Sony Z3 compact I'm amazed at the difference. They really have put a premium phone in a smaller handset, this thing is amazing. Sure it lacks the same sex appeal HTC One's have, and lets face it, they're bloody stunning, even over iPhone's; but the speed, micro SD slot, fewer junk apps (fewer, not zero sadly) and small price tag make this a hard choice to go back on.

Sorry HTC. Unless you follow Sony's lead that's me washing my hands of you.

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Sony phone chief vows to keep losing money forever and ever

Graham Jordan

Z3C owner here

And I couldn't be happier with this phone.

I've been a HTC devote for a decade now so coming away was a big step.

No regrets at all. Well I did miss BlinkFeed but found the means to add it. Now definitely no regrets

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Pint-sized PCIe powerhouse: Intel NUC5i5RYK

Graham Jordan

Gaming

So by shit gaming rig, do you mean Battlefield 4 shit? Or can't even run Candy crush shit?

It's been a long time since I've paid any attention to computer hardware so this stuff goes well over my head. I'm running a 1st gen Celeron NUC with OpenELEC and whilst it does the job fine for now I'm very conscious of the oncoming wave of x265/4K movies.

Not to mention I'll one day bother to set it up as an emulator.

Any thoughts anyone?

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Cupertino GIVES IN to Taylor Swift, will pay Apple Music royalties

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Silicon Valley season closer: Would you like fried servers with that?

Graham Jordan

Game of Thrones

I've been more excited about Silicon Valley this year than I have with GoT. Even now I'm finding myself pondering what next for the lads of California more so than "WTF!" for the nights of the watch.

Love this show, hilarious.

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Ready to go again, soldier? Final Fantasy VII remake revealed

Graham Jordan

Nervously excited

I remember reading an article a while back as to why a remake wouldn't work and one of the key parts that stuck in my head was all the weird random shit.

Remember when Cloud dressed up as a woman to infiltrate the Don's Mansion? If you did all the extra bits he jumped in a hut tub with a bunch of gay wrestlers. Bloody hilarious for its time but in an age of high-def gaming with fantastic voice acting, will this translate so well or will it be left out?

Also I'm a little nervous about Square's passion for over the top cut scenes where our heroes can scale entire sky scrapers in one jump or knock down buildings with a swing of a sword.

This could be the greatest game since the original or feel like my youth has been raped and not in the good way

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Netflix fail proves copper NBN leaves Australia utterly 4Ked

Graham Jordan

Just come back from travelling..

And one of the main arguments for staying in the UK and not immigrating has been internet speeds.

Surprisingly robust in Thailand most of East Asia was ruddy crap, I guess that was to be expected but even in Australia and New Zealand I struggled to get a decent speed uploading all my videos to OneDrive/NAS back home.

My heart lies in Christchurch/Dunedin or Rotorua but unless I can get uncapped 100mb speeds my feet will firmly stay here under the grasp of the VirginMedia empire.

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BY JUPITER: The science behind Friday's Solar System light show

Graham Jordan
Unhappy

Southern hemisphere

So as someone in the southern hemisphere on Friday, am I going to miss out or do I just have to look in a different direction? Like through the floor or something?

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Hawking: Higgs boson in a BIG particle punisher could DESTROY UNIVERSE

Graham Jordan

In other news

Prof Hawkins accepts job as the Daily Mail headline creator.

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XBOX One will learn to play media from USB and DLNA sources

Graham Jordan

Re: The only way to watch whatever ya want

That's what I was thinking.

A year ago I ran a pretty decent spec pc in the evening and weekends. It did everything. Download legally purchased movies as well as run XBMC.

Since then I've switched to a HP N54L always on NAS, 2 raspberry PI's and an Intel NUC.

My electricity bill has gone down.

I remember the first gen XBOX and PS3 were power hungry monsters, I can assume the Xbox One and PS4 dim the lights a little? So why on earth would anyone want to run their media ctr through a power hungry beast when as someone has already said, most TV's these days will play any file you throw at it at no extra cost?

Clue? Does MS have one?

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Synology and the NAS-ty malware-flingers: What can be learned

Graham Jordan

Thanks

I didn't know about any vulnerability in Syno. I mean aside from the standard "Update your NAS now" emails which tell of bug fixes, not what the bugs are and how they're being used.

Had mine front facing on the net for a while without any problems (touch wood). I don't pretend to know anything the Linux code or how to use the shell.

I disabled the admin account and created a new one. I have SSH turned off. I have SSL turned on and auto-redirected. I have auto-block IP on 2 password fuck-ups.

Am I doing everything right?

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THUD! WD plonks down SIX TERABYTE 'consumer NAS' fatboy

Graham Jordan

Fuck me with a broomstick backwards

Running a HP ProLiant N54L with 4 x 4TB WD Red drives.

Added an ICY Dock 5.25" -> 6x 2.5" drives and been itching for 2TB WD Red 2.5" drives for some time.

I'll give it 6 months to see how they bed out but this is incredible.

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The Windows 8 dilemma: Win 8 or wait for 9?

Graham Jordan

Re: Search is easier than that

I stopped reading the article when I came across the stress over search.

I hated windows 7 search. I preferred XP. At least in XP I knew that doggy was genuinely searching for my files, in 7 I was never really certain it'd finished.

Windows 8 search is incredible. Start > TYPE > oh look there it is. How this can be deemed as difficult is beyond me.

For someone to work in enterprise IT not knowing this, or even coming across it by accident is disturbing.

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Blighty teen boffin builds nuclear reactor INSIDE CLASSROOM

Graham Jordan

Almost certainly a stupid question...

£3000 for a small reactor vs several more for solar panals on your roof.

Would it not pay to have this kid build something a little bigger in a garden shed and cut yourself off from the grid?

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WD My Cloud EX4 four-bay NAS

Graham Jordan

HP ProLiant N54L Synology DSM for £125

HP ProLiant N54L with cashback from Amazon.

4 bays, 1x 5.25 bay, 2 PCIE ports, 2GB of RAM upgradeable to 16GB, comes with a CDRom and a 250GB HD, something like 8x USB ports all for around £125.

Synology DSM on a USB drive from xpenology and you can have a shit hot NAS for next to nothing.

Got me an ICY dock 6x 2.5" for the 5.25" bay, just waiting for WD to release 2TB 2.5" Red drives and I'm throwing in an extra 12TB.

Because that's how I roll.

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Apple's nonexistent iWatch to bag $17.5 BEEELION in first year alone – analyst

Graham Jordan

Watch? Hell yeah. Smart watch? Fuck off

I wear a watch and I have no shame in saying they're my fashion statement. I haven't crossed the £1000 barrier on a watch but would sure as hell like to if I ever had any real money.

Watches are awesome.

Smart watches? That's what gets me. If you see someone wearing a digital watch they're generally 12 year olds who can't tell the time. Even with Apple branding a digital watch is still a digital watch regardless of if it has bluetooth in or not. And that's what I just don't get. It doesn't matter how much it costs you're still a fucking idiot if you can't read a clock face. And if one of the settings is to display time in said clock face then buy a real watch, stop being a mindless gimp and get some real taste about you.

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Mars One's Red Planet foray is still on – but not until 2018

Graham Jordan

Reality TV

If I said to my wife I'd like to watch a program where real people are travelling to and then setting up a colony on Mars I'd get the "well you can watch that shit upstairs" treatment.

If my wife said to me "Joey and Shauna slept together and now Dale's pissed. Mars One is the best reality TV show ever" I'd tell ask if I was allowed to watch TV upstairs.

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Dry, cold and volatile: How to survive Mars, and your fellow crew

Graham Jordan

Terraforming

Maybe down to my complete lack of scientific knowledge but I've never understood the fascination with terraforming Mars.

I appreciate once on the planet even with today’s technology an astronaut could survive in a pod until his resources run out so that makes a trip there encouraging. Turning the planet green is a dam site easier on Mars than anywhere else in the solar system but a blue sky and plenty of oxygen won't change the gravity (or lack of it) situation.

In a future where getting to Mars takes days/weeks rather than months/years the idea of travelling between two worlds, even for just a holiday isn't unrealistic. But doesn't the lack of gravity fuck up your body? Isn't that why astronauts are meant to work out all the time? To keep their bone density acting normally?

If theories are correct then water was brought to Earth on a comet. A big smash is also theorised as to the reason the Earth is on a wonky angle giving us seasons. So therefore would it not be possible to send a shit load of probes out to the Oort cloud, use gravitational pulling or any other means (would nukes do the job?) to push ice balls into the inner solar system and strike Venus? Run away greenhouse gases can be curbed even with today's technology, as long as we can cool the planet down enough to set foot on it.

Venus is ideal for us in size, density and gravity. The insanely long days aren’t as detrimental to our health as obesity with no bones, and I’m pretty sure the right sized rock(s) at the right angle could speed up the rotation.

My knowledge on the workings of the solar system are based on Wikipedia, Morgan Freeman’s dodgy Through the Wormhole and that other documentary with that man in it. I’m hardly the pinnacle of expertise. Just based on what I know it seems a no brainer to go elsewhere.

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Anonymous hacktivists' Million Mask March protest hits London

Graham Jordan

Russell Brand - The Messiah Complex

My wife and I went to see him in Nottingham on Friday and without a shadow of a doubt he surpassed our expectations to become the funniest stand-up act we've ever seen.

Whilst there were a few moments I’d argue his facts were wrong (that’s not to say I’m right, I’ve just read differently) his overall arguments against… well… everything were well thought out and structurally sound.

He’s coming across as an incredibly intelligent man with a good incite however having witnessed an Anonymous protest before (not this million march thing, just a random protest) I get the impression they themselves don’t really have a clue what they’re against and so I’d question why he was there at all.

If during the course of the night someone flung poo in the general direction of Cameron and Osborne they’d get two thumbs up from me. Actually through some at Miliband. He’s a cunt too.

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Reg readers! You've got 100 MILLION QUID - what would you BLOW it on?

Graham Jordan

Magic mushrooms

And a BIll Hicks marathon.

I didn't read the article. I just like the sound of blowing £100 on drugs.

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The facts on Trident 'cuts': What the Lib Dems want is disarmament

Graham Jordan

Trident isn't worth shit in a globalised world

There isn't a nation on this planet that would risk economic disaster by starting a nuclear war. Because that's what would happen.

I beg to differ in our allies wouldn't step up should we become a target of a nuclear flattening (only an attack from Russia or China would put the nerves up the US, anyone else would probably find missiles en route before the dust has settled on London) but let’s just assume this theory is correct.

The UK is a baron wasteland having been smashed to shit by Pakistan. The rest of the world, including Russia and China, are outraged by the devastating attack that’s left England in an apocalyptic state and Western Europe under a thick cloud of radioactive waste. No one has the balls to retaliate on our behalf but they can starve the nation dry by sanctioning them to death. No one would dream of breaking the sanctions for fear of being cut off themselves. The results are Pakistan becomes a two bit nation surviving on dust or they start another fight, one that doesn’t go unnoticed.

The only real threat to nuclear devastation is a terrorist attack. A couple of rogue scientists at an Iranian camp steal enough supplies to build a fragile but destructive suitcase bomb. They detonate it at the peak of the Shard and a sizeable chunk of London is vaporised. A few days later the terrorist group “all your capitals R belong to us” takes credit for the bomb. Who are we going to nuke? Iran? The entire Middle East? It’s not going to work.

The world is becoming a smaller place by the day, our economies are intertwined to the point where when one falls a whole heap follow, as the credit crunch has proven. We don’t need nukes any more. Their only use would be to battle an alien race however this is almost certainly a none starter as any race that’s mastered interstellar travel has almost certainly devised a far superior technology to a big fucking bomb on a very large firework.

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