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* Posts by David Glasgow

107 posts • joined 24 Aug 2007

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True fact: 1 in 4 Brits are now TERRORISTS

David Glasgow

Terrible infographic

Please don't think I am ignoring the horror and tragedy of this event.

However, that infographic is seriously misleading. In what way is the 25% circle 25% of the whole? (Don't respond with the correct answer. The fact that there is an answer is not the point)

Edward Tufte would be turning in his grave if he was dead.

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Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!

David Glasgow

El Reg tiightwads?

Or did the good folks of Ars also decline to buy a stockie of the correct gecko species?

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Trick-cyclists defend Facebook emoto-furtling experiment

David Glasgow

Re: Cute, though

… but isn't that the part of the point?

Doing science gets really tricky when the objects of study get pissed off and object, or if you have to tell the object of study you're doing an experiment - "but just act as you would if you hadn't been informed".

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David Glasgow

Re: It's more of mostly complete...

<No doubt they read messages, viewed posts and pretty much all the personal information shared to formulate a case study.>

No, they didn't do those things…

" Researchers did not view any names of users or even the words posted by users. They relied on automated text analysis, through a software program called the Linguistic Inquiry Word Count, to measure the emotional content of each post."

<No doubt they caused a lot of sever reaction in the real-world with their invasive and intrusive private invading methods>

This is closer to the real issue, but still wrapped up rather in pitchfork talk. The research might have triggered a negative reaction sufficient in some vulnerable participants to precipitate significant harm. Did the researchers anticipate and mitigate that possibility?

I say this not because I am defending the apparent absence of consent in this research, but because there is a baby in this bathwater.

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DISPLAY DESTRUCTION D'OH! Teardown cracks Surface Pro 3 screen

David Glasgow

While my tablet gently weeps

When they did the iPad Air, they had lots more guitar picks closely placed around the seam. So maybe an insufficiency of guitar picks on this one, boys?

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CIA rendition jet was waiting in Europe to SNATCH SNOWDEN

David Glasgow

Re: One jet or more?

I got a thumbs down, for that?

Barak......was that you?

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David Glasgow

One jet or more?

I'm sure I read somewhere that in June Obama said that he was “not going to be scrambling jets to get a 29-year-old hacker.”

Perhaps it is the specific use of the plural that allowed him to make such a statement - or maybe he just had his fingers crossed behind his back

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Assange™ makes fresh bid for FREEDOM from Scotland Yard's 'physical encirclement'

David Glasgow
Joke

Re: Who cost the taxpayer £6M?

Thank you for adding such clarity to a hopelessly confusing story.

Suddenly his defence "but m'lud, I was wearing boxing gloves" makes sense.

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Monster croc 'the BALROG' tussles with mighty Titanoboa snake

David Glasgow

What's the difference between

A crocodilian and a crocodyliform?

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Reg man builds smart home rig, gains SUPREME CONTROL of DOMAIN – Pics

David Glasgow
Thumb Up

"After success in the bedroom..."

I wonder if remote lighting control assisted with this, or whether he was simply invigorated by his technical triumph?

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Windows 8.1, which you probably haven't upgraded to yet, ALREADY OBSOLETE

David Glasgow

So basically.....

Eadon the now Unperson was right all along?

He should be airbrushed back into the digital history of El Reg, and be rehabilitated from whatever Gulag to which he was banished.

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Apple has THREE TIMES as much cash as US govt, TWICE the UK

David Glasgow

Er wha?

The UK has 1.5 times the reserves of the US? Really? What does that work out per capita? Or per square Kilometre?

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Triple-headed NHS privacy scare after hospital data reach marketers, Google

David Glasgow

What has it got on its serverses?

It's mines. Nasty dirty NHSICes. Master tricked us, nasty tricksy NHSICes.

But NHSICes is kind, and wants best for us, makes us all more healthy helps research

NO. They messes it all up. Master will sell us all and they don't know their arses from their elbowses.

STOP IT NOW!

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NSA, GCHQ, accused of hacking Belgian smartcard crypto guru

David Glasgow

I thought my marching days were over

..... Not since the Thatcher years have the old legs started twitching against social injustice. Not that there isn't any, just I've been leaving to the younger generation.

If they start doing bad things to Mr Snowden, I do believe I would get the old walking boots on again. Would there be other grey haired geeks out on the streets, I wonder.

In my book we owe Snowden a great debt, and not just for filling quiet news days.

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How much did NSA pay to put a backdoor in RSA crypto? Try $10m – report

David Glasgow

Re: Mr Snowden is a self-indulgent pompous prig

1/ In what way (exactly) do these alleged personality traits reveal themsleves?

2/ Even if present, do they in any way detract from the service he has rendered exposing what is being done to us and others by those who claim a mandate to act on our behalf.

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OMG, Andrex KILLED the PUPPY! Not quilty, exclaim bog roll boys

David Glasgow

Mere tissue of a story

How do you do it, el Reg? I read it, and enjoyed shaking my head at various points.

And yet...... this 'story' ..... if it merits the term, is concocted around a thing that a few strange people thought was going to happen, but it wasn't. To most of us, it wasn't even a very important thing, and one of the head shakes came as a result of learning the thoughts of some to whom it was apparently very important. Or would have been, if it had been going to happen.

The headline promised dead puppies. Or at least one, threatened, or bumped off by a heartless corporation. To demand my pound of puppy flesh would be very, very wrong. Yet, surely there has to be some correspondence between the headline and the facts of the case?

And another thing. Am I alone in suspecting the whole thing is a marketing ploy? Designed to get the playgrounds of England abuzz , like it was when we all had to work so hard to save Tony the Tiger. Or was it the tiger in our tanks? I can't bloody remember.

So some arsehole runs software which harvests all the mentions of puppies and toilet paper on the interweb post 'story', converts that into an advertising value, generates a report which goes to an executive, who smiles.

Our only weapon is to make sure we wipe our arses on something else, and I resent having to take time to think about that.

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Developer unleashes bowel-shaking KILLER APP for Google Glass

David Glasgow

Fart app graph please

After 8 years the rate of release really ought to be reaching an asymptote on iOS. Unless there is something really weird going on. What kind of thought processes are involved in a developer now deciding that a fart app is the way to go?

Unless of course there are new challenges and frontiers in the field of fart apps that my blind prejudice has prevented me from appreciating. Any aficionados out there who can ... Ahem.... spill the beans?

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Brit inventors' GRAVITY POWERED LIGHT ships out after just 1 year

David Glasgow

Curse you headline writer!

So this isn't about combining solar sails with a gravity converter to finally allow interstellar travel?

Don't you know HOW OLD I AM? My time is running out, and I have been waiting so long.....

Nice trick with a bag of rocks and an LED though.

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Calling Doctor Caroline Langensiepen of Nottingham Trent uni

David Glasgow

Well I for one....

....demand to read the Estonian/Russian 2011 click fraud botnet article.

It is exactly the sort of stuff I lurk around el Reg for.

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WATCH LIVE: Comet ISON DESTROYED by Sun, NASA brains fear

David Glasgow

Bad show

Comet was fine. But Karen Fox talked to me as if I were 8 years old, and nobody else seemed to quite know what was going on.

Seems like NASA wasn't really ready for this event. Really?

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Winamp is still a thing? NOPE: It'll be silenced forever in December

David Glasgow

And what position...

... did the male secretary adopt?

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'I'm BIG, I'm BALD and I'm LOUD!' Blubbering Ballmer admits HE was Microsoft's problem

David Glasgow

Re: Steve Ballmer was Microsoft.

Kafantaris2...... Steve....... Is that ....... you?

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You've been arrested for computer crime: Here's what happens next

David Glasgow

Pretty good article....

... But in fact there is a lot more bumbling about, arbitrariness, argument and delay in the whole process. The police hi-tech units are hugely overworked, and often the work is rather less hi-tech than this article suggests.

There is no universal standard for analysis, or reporting thereof, so even reading the statements prepared for court, it is often it is rather difficult to gain a clear picture of exactly what was where on a drive, and why.

I recently spent a long time trying to find any research on the probability of finding illegal materials on an ordinary sample of domestic machines. There are anecdotes about malware, poisoned torrents and zip archives containing unexpected and unsought but disturbing images, but just how much illegal material is the baseline on your average multi user family machine?

If any Reg readers have any references, or informed opinions, I would be interested to know.

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Apple will FAIL in corporate land 'because IT managers hate iPads'

David Glasgow

Functional Silo Syndrome

... Is what I diagnose.

I've experienced this from both sides. I train professionals who have no wish or capacity to understand the brutal realities of professionally administered IT systems. I also struggle to enable them to be creative and productive in the face of those constraints. I understand why they exist, but that doesn't make them easier to cope with.

The comment "The ipad I have.....I don't want. It makes a nice toy but a pitiful excuse for a computer. A ten year old laptop is more of a computing device than a brand new iPad." caught my eye as getting to the nub of the issue here...

I doubt anyone is asking you to give up your precious 10 year old laptop (are they?). If they are, I can see that might be upsetting. However, why is it so hard to imagine the possibility that an iPad is some professionals' ideal tool? It's almost as if it makes some people cross that productivity and profit are substituted for personal preference (pause to wipe screen). I'll admit I have been amazed at how much I enjoy being a consumer of the iPaddy stuff. However, I have also been amazed at the boost in business related stuff too. Not top 500, but it's still a business, and my iPad has paid for itself many, many times over.

What I look for in an IT professional is someone with an open mind, as well as expertise. A facilitator of what needs to be done. Of course I want to hear about how I might get in a pickle with the ICO and whatnot, but I also want to hear how we can get round the problem, in a way that doesn't involve a 10 year old laptop, or XP, or switching to Surface unless that will also pay for itself many times over.

I couldn't care less that other businesses take a different view. I have no interest in persuading anyone angrily, dismissively or with a reference packed post that businesses should support the use of iPads. In fact, if I am right, the more they don't, the better for me.

So, feel free to completely dismiss the above.

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Dark matter: Good news, everyone! We've found ... NOTHING AT ALL

David Glasgow

Re: Plasma model of the universe

"... Exactly match the ones that were engineered for them on the basis of a gravitational model of the solar system."

Well, that's not strictly correct, is it?

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Google's new Glass: Now with audio connection INSIDE the SKULL

David Glasgow

Re: Leftie version

O h for goodness sake man! Just put them on upside down.

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Coding: 'suitable for exceptionally dull weirdos'

David Glasgow

Re: Comment from the Cockwomble in question

Upvoted. Good point, well made.

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Expensive blingo-rama iPhone 5S OUTSELLS cheapo-plastic 5C

David Glasgow

Mote car analogies please

They really clarify the issues.

...and bonus points if it includes a Morris Marina.

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Blighty's National Crime Agency nabs first crook ...for £750k cyberscam

David Glasgow

"has involved the examination of a large number of data,.."

'... nuff said.

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'I don't trust Microsoft' after NSA disclosures says former privacy chief

David Glasgow

Re: Australia does

"Hell, 75% of us arent even aware our national anthem has a second verse, let alone be arsed to learn it."

Not to mention the fact that it goes so high it would tax a castrato.

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Microsoft Surface 2 fondleslabs finally get off ground with airline order

David Glasgow

You forgot....

....the joke alert icon.

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Borland's heir Embarcadero says one dev tool can rule them all

David Glasgow

Re: What about Livecode?

'Compiled' is a rather slippery term, particularly if you have a compile free workflow as Livecode does - prior to compiling a standalone for Win/Mac/Linux/iOS from the same code base.

The point is, the claim "Embarcadero is claiming it is the first development tool capable of producing native apps for Windows, Mac OS, iOS and Android" is one that could only be defended by Mr Logic pedantry regarding 'compile' and 'native'.

Granted, I wouldn't want to build an industrial sized scientific data cruncher in Livecode. But if you are looking to go cross 4 platforms, that's unlikely to be the goal. I freely admit I am biased, becasue I've had 12 years of fun and profit out of it.

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David Glasgow

What about Livecode?

http://livecode.com/

Been around a long time, AND it's Open.

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BILLION-TONNE BELCH emitted from Sun to hit Earth this weekend

David Glasgow

Safe to take of the tinfoil hat yet?

I kept checking the aurora watch sites. Nothing. The two wobbly line charts showed no extraordinary wobbling.

So where did the energy/matter go?

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Just add creepiness: Google Search gets even more personal

David Glasgow

Pedants corner

"try and predict the questions..."

grrrrr.

"Try to predict...."

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NORKS prepping glorious People's Smartmobe

David Glasgow

I'm relying on el Reg

To cover rumour site dodgy photos, spec speculation, fannorks queuing, same waving precious box, unboxing and blending.

I haven't been this interested in a mobile since my Palm Treo.

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Nude swimmers warned of GONAD-GOBBLING FISH ON THE LOOSE

David Glasgow

Re: Fishy

mätäkuun juttu

That has too many accents and 'u's to be a thing in any language on earth.

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That Retina display iPad mini delay scuttlebutt? Fuggedaboutit

David Glasgow

Re: The main question, I think, is:

>As they would for a slate with a piece of chalk on a string, if only it had an Apple on it.

Trying to picture this designed by Jonathan Ive. Rounded corners, of course. String definitely not the hairy sort. Chalk colour carefully selected from tasteful palette, doesn't squeak or break. Surface skeuomorphic rendering of slate. Machined from a single piece of aluminium. Beautifully weighted in the hand. Reassuringly expensive.

Damn! You know I think I might just buy one?

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Put up your ... err ... hand for free vasectomy streamed online

David Glasgow

Sadly, a decade to late

and I'm not sure mine would have been what they are looking for. A truly excruciatingly painful experience involving a mid surgery spat with the surgeon, and later, massive bilateral haematomas.

They looked like aubergines (yes, colour AND shape), and I walked with a stick and old cowboy gait for weeks.

Oh wait. This is the sick and twisted interweb were talking about. Would have been perfect.

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Spending watchdog SAVAGES rural broadband push

David Glasgow

What happened to

Mike Kiely who blew the whistle on BT plumping up its prices for no good reason (other than greed and lack of competition)?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2012/oct/03/whistleblower-sacked-bt-broadband

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Rest your head against a train window, hear VOICES in your SKULL

David Glasgow

Re: I quite like the train noises

And the train conductor says

"Take a break driver 8, driver 8 take a break

We can reach our destination, but we're still a ways away"

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What's the most secure desktop operating system?

David Glasgow

Where the Hell is Eadon?

I skipped the article and went straight for the comments to get my daily dose of MSogyny.

Only one poster accused of trolling, and it was pretty poor fair at that. Not enough capitals. Everyone else just being quirky, or reasonable, or a tad silly, or a bit too serious.

This is not what I come to expect. I demand to know if Eadon has been booted off. If so, let the cry go up.... 'free the Register one!'

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Apple: iOS7 dayglo Barbie makeover is UNFINISHED - report

David Glasgow

Re: But..

"They're merely folowing the departed leader. Its a design to appeal to young Barbie wannabees as the target market!"

But I'm a 56 year old chap....

Wait! What's this? Lets see! Oh I feel se-ex-ee, What's come over me? Whoa! Here it comes again...bad times deceased, good times released, my confidence is increased...."

I think I quite like 'em.

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Quantum boffins send data ACROSS TIME AND SPACE

David Glasgow
Happy

Re: Did anyone else notice?

Good spot!

Probably means the paper could be published just about ANYWHERE.

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FLABBER-JASTED: It's 'jif', NOT '.gif', says man who should know

David Glasgow

Re: erm..

You are correct ( as I posted above) that this story has been run before. Not just the debate, but the allegedly authoritative declaration of how GIF should be said. It made bugger all difference the first time round, and it won't be any different this time.

So 95% say it wrong, do we? <http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=.jif%20alert> . Sadly for the JUH crew, it's all way too late. That kind of majority current pronunciation condemns the JUH usage to an interesting historical footnote. Logic and authority don't come into it.

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David Glasgow

chronosynclastic infundibulum?

I read the same story months ago. Did it result in anyone changing pronunciation?

He might as well write an anti glacier book instead..... (or a pro-jlacier book).

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Who is the mystery sixth member of LulzSec?

David Glasgow
Joke

One by one the men stand....

"I am AVunit"...... "I am AVunit" ......

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Surface Pro to hit Blighty priced 25% up on top-o-the-range iPad

David Glasgow
WTF?

What's wrong with me?

Suddenly realised I have just read an article about a product I have no interest in, then through the comments just to read Eadon's predictable response. What's more, I felt a slight pang of disappointment when I couldn't see it.

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ZX Spectrum cassette player lost? There's an app for that

David Glasgow

Love it

For two reasons

1/ it gives me a chance to dig my Speccy out

2/ there is no way Eadon can comment FAIL MICROSOFT from his spittle flecked screen.....

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How much will Google pay to bring fiber to Provo, Utah? Try $1

David Glasgow

Re: Wow, screw Google

A car metaphor. Sigh.

What kind of car is it? Does it have any outstanding HP payments? What model is it? Is it more like a Microsoft or Apple car thing? What if someone hides in the boot (trunk) when you go to the supermarket?. Should that be a crime? What relative value should be put on beautiful versus functional cars? Do people have the right to use a car if they don't know how one works? If someone takes your car, are you entitled to steal it back?

Did I miss any out?

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