Posts by One-armed Freddy
25 posts • joined Thursday 23rd August 2007 12:37 GMT
£20 a race
If you don't want the other Sky Sports channels, this works out at £20 a race. Bargain!
And if I take into account that I'd be happy to download the early races and miss the boring ones (Hungary & Bahrain,) there's only 5 that I'd lament missing, so the 'real' cost is £40 a race. Amazing!
http://onearmedfreddy.co.uk/blog/2012/01/16/f1-on-virgin-media/
Posted in O2 calls for consumers to lease iPhones
So...
You pay £10 less over the course of the contract, then don't get the £100 or so (possibly more) you'd reasonably expect to receive for selling the handset to a recycling company.
Well done, O2. Thinking of the customers, as ever.
Posted in El Reg celebrates 10th birthday
The real reason there's no Lester
Lester doesn't exist, he's a highly advanced software robot that scours the web for stories about drunk morons killing themselves in amusing ways and tracking Paris Hilton's every movement, before publishing them in Bootnotes.
@ Sarah Bee: how you doin'?
Posted in Polish builder sacked for humping hoover
Weird
The strange thing of course is that if Henry was real he'd be putting his knob up Henry's nose.
Posted in Iowa man sacked for demanding prostitute
Re: ONE YEAR?
Maybe after 5 years they get you a prostitute?
Flawed analogies
The analogy of having public water taps on streets is flawed. If a council has provided a tap for public use then you're allowed to use it. If my neighbour has an outside tap with a sign saying 'free water, help yourself' then it's reasonable to assume you can use it. If I have an outside tap visible from the road that doesn't have a sign saying it's for public use but it's not secured with a lock and key, that doesn't mean you should assume you can use it. The fact that it reflects light into your eyes doesn't allow you to use the water that I have paid for.
The principle is the same for wifi, if you're not sure whether you're allowed to use an open wireless network then don't. If it's been intended for public use then I'd expect that to be reflected in the SSID or to see some signs up somewhere saying 'free wifi for customers.' (Incidentally, this raises the moral question as to whether you should be allowed to use the open wifi provided for customers of the cafe you live above when you've never been in there, but that's for another time.)
If someone leaves a bag full of money on a table in a pub and I take some of it then I'm stealing. Just because it's open and I can see it doesn't give me the right to take what isn't mine. Just because your laptop connects automatically to an unsecured network doesn't give you the right to start using someone else's bandwith. If you see you've connected by mistake then disconnect. It's not difficult. I expect the commenters saying it's the sole responsibility of the network owners are the same people who defend virus and malware coders saying that if people are too stupid to protect themselves they deserve to be infected. Newsflash: not everyone is as computer literate as you! Some people might be unaware that it needs securing! Shock horror! Should we ban them from having computers and keep the internet a pure utopian society for IT professionals?!
And does anyone seriously believe the police dropped the investigation of murders and rapes to come and arrest these people? Come on now, stop being silly.
Hmm...
Still not quite as terrifying as the hormone explosions you can get with actually pregnant women.
Update!
Police announced this morning that notorious crimelord Snow White has been taken into custody. Ms White of Dwarf Cottage is known to be the leader of a seven strong gang of miscreants.
Ms White accused her step mother of trying to poison her four years ago, however the case was dropped due to a lack of evidence. It has been speculated that the resulting frustration may have been the motivating factor in her subsequent crimes.
Misread title
I thought he glued his lad to the bed. That would be better.
Mid air disaster
If it accidentally switched itself on during the flight would it smash its way from the cargo hold to the cabin to be reunited with its owner?
Shipping
I'd still want to use bubble wrap for shipping children though, especially the way UPS kick parcels around the van.
Wind-up
"On the advice of an astrologer and others"
People will believe any bullshit in their horoscope these days won't they? "Gemini: a curse put on you by dogs can be lifted by marrying one. Your lucky lotto number is 17. Call now for a personalised reading (calls cost £95,000 a minute)"
Posted in Prince stomps on unofficial websites
Monkey
On a slightly related note, I read once a story from somebody who used to babysit at a big house in LA - right next door to Prince's big, purple mansion.
One day she was in the garden with the kids when somebody in a monkey suit started running around the garden next door, bellowing and screaming. The babysitter was concerned about this but was reassured by the kids she was looking after who told her, "that's just Mr. Prince, he always does that."
I don't know if that's true, but I really, really hope it is.
A bit rich
It's a bit rich for a half naked wolfman in a tree to be telling people what is and isn't inappropriate. Maybe he needs to take a look at himself.
Posted in Jordan mulls mamtastic epitaph
Idea
If they bury her shallow, with the waps poking through the surface:
"Bouncy castle, 20p. Please remove shoes."
Posted in Sick Brit yobs graffiti dog
It's only a dog
I think it's an improvement. There's probably a market for this kind of dog customisation. Instead of whining about her dog being defaced she should be talking to the bank about a loan to buy a salon and a load of felt tips.
Posted in Dogs blast hunter with shotgun
Rise of the Animals™?
Never mind the RotM, what with the flaming kamikaze squirrels and monkey attacks recently I'm more concerned about the animals rising up and taking over. I'm certain that the government scientist's recent declaration of war on badgers must be what's tipped the animals over the edge. We're doomed!
Briliant
If I was a leprechaun I'd definitely spend my free time luring people into cars that didn't belong to them. Then I'd phone the police and report them. Has anyone reported seeing a small Irishman in the court room, pissing himself laughing?
Workaround
If I set a fat person on fire then they wouldn't be able to charge me.
Also, it would warm my house more cheaply than the central heating.
Any ideas where I can buy a fat person? I'd prefer nearly new, though slightly soiled might be okay.
Posted in Swearing at work 'good for business'
Michelin Stars
The odd swear or nine hasn't done Gordon Ramsey any harm in his workplace. Say what you like about him, he's not afraid to call a spade a fucking cunt.
Since they're not banned
maybe they could go and practise down in Stratford right now instead of flying past my office window for half the working day. Noisy bastards.
Western-style consumerism?
No ma'am, I ain't never gonna be happy till I gots me the latest stetson and boots, a years' supply of sippin' whiskey, some solid gold shootin' irons and the fastest hoss money can buy.
Posted in Man sues God
Alliteratory failure
Why did the alliteration stop when he got to genocidal wars? I was enjoying it. Surely he could have continued it worrying, woeful or wobbly.
What a catastrophic cop-out.
He's lying, sarge
He's a liar liar, pants on fire.
Ahaha.
