Feeds

* Posts by Stretch

280 posts • joined 22 Aug 2007

Page:

iWallet: No BONKING PLEASE, we're Apple

Stretch
Bronze badge

iDiots.

1
3

Apple winks at parents: C'mon, get your kid a tweaked Macbook Pro

Stretch
Bronze badge

giving kids crapple products is child abuse

0
6

Who has your credit card data? 1 million HOLIDAY-MAKERS' RECORDS exposed

Stretch
Bronze badge

Re: ICO ?

PCI isn't a regulation or from the FSA. Its an industry "standard" designed to allow transfer of blame away from the card providers.

3
0

SAP gets into OpenStack bed with... ORACLE? (and 100 others)

Stretch
Bronze badge

so are they dropping CloudFoundry?

0
0

BBC goes offline in MASSIVE COCKUP: Stephen Fry partly muzzled

Stretch
Bronze badge

Didn't even notice...

..since the woeful eye-bleeding update a few months ago I don't use it anymore.

0
0

SAP: It was our Big Data software wot won it for Germany

Stretch
Bronze badge

Re: "Also, it had to be sufficiently simple for the German team’s staff to use without SAP support"

HaHaHaHANA? Its must have been damn slow then. And crashed a lot. Very slow and unstable under load, and my instance is deployed by SAP, run by SAP, in SAP network. So it ain't me.

1
2

Don't put that duffel bag full of cash in the hotel room safe

Stretch
Bronze badge

Re: you usually aren't covered

I see you have experienced insurance before.

0
0
Stretch
Bronze badge

Re: Fertle

"But what people fail to realise is that it is true of *any* safe"

This is true of all locks, alarms systems and indeed all security up to and including Quantum Keys based methods.

0
0

Orange unleashes API assets, hires San Fran firm to lure in devs

Stretch
Bronze badge

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Have you worked with any Orange devs? They have serious issues finding arse with both hands.

0
0

Cops nab suspect using CREEPY facial recog system

Stretch
Bronze badge

The tone of this piece seems to suggest that this is somehow a good thing

11
2

CERN data explains how Higgs heavies other matter

Stretch
Bronze badge

Is there an anti-higgs then?

0
0

Seventh-gen SPARC silicon will accelerate Oracle databases

Stretch
Bronze badge

Re: Resiliency Model

This has nothing to do with SPARC

2
0

Microsoft's new 'Adam' AI trounces Google ... and beats HUMANS

Stretch
Bronze badge

Yawn. Bayesian classification. Easy peesy lemon squeezy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bayesian_inference

"distributed implementation of stochastic gradient descent" i.e. its a small cluster of boxes running a bayesian algorithm.

0
1

Whoah! How many Google Play apps want to read your texts?

Stretch
Bronze badge

Yes this sucks but its the app writers fault not google, they request ludicrous permissions for their apps.

2
8

ISPs 'blindsided' by UK.gov's 'emergency' data retention and investigation powers law

Stretch
Bronze badge

that's a "sunset" clause, not a "poison pill" clause

6
0

Down-with-the-kidz Apple stuffs up with wild 'funness' claims

Stretch
Bronze badge

scumness.

0
0

BT slapped down by BSkyB over O2 broadband 'switch off' porkies

Stretch
Bronze badge

being switched to sky is functionally equivalent to turning it off. So ASA got it wrong here.

4
4

'iPhone 6' survives FRENZIED STABBING. Truly, it is the JESUS Phone

Stretch
Bronze badge

The glass is just a product. its not crapple exclusive.

"harder than gorilla glass" is not much of an accolade. That shit could be scratched by an angry jelly baby.

1
4

Simplivity drops sweet OmniCubes into channel's cup

Stretch
Bronze badge

high performance is gonna need a few more cores than that. try 96 per box and you might be getting there.

0
0

ISPs haul GCHQ into COURT over dragnet interwebs snooping

Stretch
Bronze badge

Re: Here come the lawsuits.

Nah I will just call them evil fuckers who are doing this bugging solely to line their own pockets. Drives me totally mad that they get billions every year with no accountability that they then use to further enrich themselves and their friends. And then they say "Its for your own good! There are scary people!" Bullshit.

10
1

Cambridge Assessment exams CHAOS: Computing students' work may be BINNED

Stretch
Bronze badge

Don't learn the nubs.

Nuff said.

0
0

Microsoft's anti-malware crusade knackers '4 MILLION' No-IP users

Stretch
Bronze badge

Surely this is then precedent for MS to take over every single TLD that ever had a subdomain containing any trademark of theirs?

How exactly do they appoint judges over there in crazyland anyway? Raffle at church on sunday?

4
1

BOFH: You can take our lives, but you'll never take OUR MACROS

Stretch
Bronze badge

"you don't have a spreadsheet at home with all your DVDs and CDs"

My wife does...

"video shop"

the what?

@YetAnotherLocksmith

"who wouldn't allow anyone to actually do anything with IT beyond what was on the desktop"

Seems very sensible frankly.

0
0

Spanish struggle to control spelling of 'WhatsApp'

Stretch
Bronze badge

Re: Gender of the internet???

Où est la plume de ma tante?

0
0

You want a medal for writing a script? Sure: here it is!

Stretch
Bronze badge

Bet the original developer quoted them a squillion bucks for a batch mode.

6
0

DOH! Google’s internet of things vision is powered by… Mac OS

Stretch
Bronze badge

You see, I would rather die than ever touch anything made by fucking crapple. So the "thou must use crapos" seems ridiculous to me. But then google make you use fucking git, which has no windows support at all, and is an atrocious pile of wank. So what do google know? Knock out barely supported free app after free app then pull out the rug after a few months when next flavour comes along.

fucking idiots the lot of them. a pox on them all.

1
3

It's a Brit Apple supplier BORG: Two become one £80m fruity tech titan

Stretch
Bronze badge

Fools. Bargaining with the devil.

0
0

REVEALED: Google's proposed indie music-killing contract terms

Stretch
Bronze badge

Sigh.

Again, to be clear:

You have absolutely no right to be paid. Just get that out of your heads. Otherwise I'm going to brute force copyright every combination and permutation of notes, letters and bloody 1s and 0s.

If you want to be paid, you work on commissioned work, on a contract, and get paid up front. Everything else is wishful thinking.

1
0

Microsoft tests HALF-INCH second screen to spur workplace play

Stretch
Bronze badge

Logitech beat them to it

"Research?" Nothing original here.

http://www.logitech.com/en-gb/products/keyboards/articles/554

0
0

Bitcoin is MONEY, says Canada

Stretch
Bronze badge

"how much money do you owe them exactly ?"

Their answer to this would be, "what have you got?"

No taxman has ever had a hard time deciding you owe them money. No actual calculation is involved or required.

3
0

Higgs boson even MORE likely to actually be Higgs boson - boffins

Stretch
Bronze badge

Where's my anti-gravity Flying Car?!?

1
1

Columbia U boffins HACK GOOGLE PLAY to check apps

Stretch
Bronze badge

"Google has started using his techniques"

What? They didn't sue him until his ears bled? They didn't try to suppress his work and ruin his reputation?

Lies. I cannot believe for one second that any organisation like Google would accept any form of criticism or suggestion of fallibility without firing off the full force of their lawyerbots first. Especially as they bypassed so many things designed to prevent exactly this....

0
0

Sony CEO forced to shush shareholder heckling at fiery AGM

Stretch
Bronze badge

The root kit thing will rankle for a while.

But i have a new Sony tablet and it is really awesome. Best one on the market right now. So they are starting to get back to doing things well.

They need to push Walkman more. They should use this brand to back up a music streaming offering that the indies would get behind. They could easily beat Google in this space if they are willing to let others make a profit too.

And I never understood why they sold Viao. "They're not a PC company" is such a silly statement. They were making really quite desirable laptops. Its so hard to buy a laptop you would actually want due to sheer number of macscum ruining everything, willing to pay through the nose for poor sample hardware with massive return rates running second rate software. Surely there is scope there. Simple education would be enough.

0
2

Canada to Google: You can't have your borderless cake and eat it too

Stretch
Bronze badge

Need to out of jurisdiction

C'mon google. Lets have some orbiting data centers with ansible connections. Quick. Can't be that hard.

2
0

DON’T add me to your social network, I have NO IDEA who you are

Stretch
Bronze badge

Inherent risk of your chosen profession it would seem. Perhaps you need a Nom de Plume?

0
0

Rackspace gives world the servers Google and Amazon keep secret

Stretch
Bronze badge

peopleware

yikes.

0
0

Good god, where will the new storage experts come from?

Stretch
Bronze badge

"For houses the economics are pretty simple: you'll spend more renting in a lifetime than it would take to pay a mortgage, and when retirement comes around the fellow with the paid of mortgage has a house to live in rent-free. "

Wrong.

Renting is 85% of the cost of buying. Recent research has shown this.

0
9

Code Spaces goes titsup FOREVER after attacker NUKES its Amazon-hosted data

Stretch
Bronze badge

someone do this to github please

1
2

Hate phone games that make you buy in-app gumble? Congrats, you're a niche player

Stretch
Bronze badge

Unmitigated Bullshit

Played computer games virtually everyday for the past 25 years. And I've only ever installed one game on any mobile device.

Lemmings. On my Motorola A1000. You know, the one Crapple copied to make the shitephone? Back when the P900 dev community hadn't been reemed out by the fuckers. Mmm I miss my stylus.

And I will never pay for application or game on a mobile device. And I would certainly never be so utterly dumb as to pay for one and then pay-to-play too.

But I guess there are many extremely stupid fools out there who can be parted from their money.

3
2

Microsoft 'Catapults' geriatric Moore's Law from CERTAIN DEATH

Stretch
Bronze badge

So they added a SPARC chip in effect. Hmm.

0
1

YouTube will nuke indie music videos in DAYS, says Google exec

Stretch
Bronze badge

"The big labels offer independents a much lower royalty rate, among other things."

Is that exactly what you meant? Did you not mean that Google was offering a lower rate to independents than majors?

1
0

Virgin Media boss AND ex-Murdoch man: BSkyB broadband is 'lousy'

Stretch
Bronze badge

Re: I can confirm...

You are right, I meant Mb/s.

1
0
Stretch
Bronze badge

I can confirm...

...as a paying customer that Sky broadband is lousy. This is an apt description. When I first got their service I was receiving only 0.5 MB/s. I'll repeat that.

0.5 MB/s!!!!!!!

That's equivalent of what I was getting from NTL in 2000.

So I phoned up and had a massive go at them. As you do. With lots of sarcasm thrown in. And the next day my routing changed. And suddenly 10 MB/s.

But the problem was they blamed me soooo much. It must be MY fault that its slow. And they have a dumbass script:

Them: "Oh, its the Wifi. Please connect your laptop directly to the router"

Me: "I'm not using a laptop and I'm already using a network cable"

"Is the WiFi on the laptop broken?"

"Um..."

Them: "Please close all applications and run the speed test"

Me: "Ok all closed apart from the speed test window in chrome and i get 0.1 MB/s at the moment."

"Please close chrome too"

"But its running the test?"

"Please close chrome and run the test again"

"Um..."

9
1

Slippery Google greases up, aims to squirm out of EU privacy grasp

Stretch
Bronze badge

Re: At least Google no longer tries to declare itself exempt

"it uses its international structure to mostly ignore law"

Most laws are made by the stupid for the rich. So please, ignore them, it can only benefit all of us.

2
2
Stretch
Bronze badge

None of this is about US arrogance, or Google doing evil, or any other partisan position.

The point is the ruling is just damn, damn, damn stupid. I mean really, completely idiotic. Its the sort of perverse and illogical decision produced the heavily lobbied and badly misinformed. It is simply legal revisionism, and will only benefit criminals.

For those of you too young to remember, there was no internet before Google. Seriously. You remember trying to actually FIND anything pre-google? No chance. If you didn't know the web page address then you simply weren't going there. Do you remember the dumb ass programs you had to use to "submit" your site to huge lists of "search engines" with pages and pages of faked up meta data (this used to be SEO you know...)?

So Google gave us a working internet. Then they gave us working email with storage greater than 2MB. And then when fucking crapple stole, ahem, "invented", the mobile phone they gave us an operating system that meant we could stick our finger up at the fucking fanbois.

And I've never paid them a penny. And I have a famous person "masking" me in search results. There is no downside. APART from these idiotic "non-technicals" (and that is the most damning insult there is IMO) trying to fuck with things that don't concern them.

Frankly if the Germans don't like it they can block Google. And see how far that gets them.

2
8

Supermodel Lily Cole: 'I got a little bit upset by that Register article'

Stretch
Bronze badge

You all heard her name and spent time googling her etc. So seems like achieved exactly what it set out to achieve. Just wish she had paid for it herself.

0
0

Tom Hanks NICKED my COPYRIGHTED PIC, claims Brit photog

Stretch
Bronze badge

70 Years

What absolute bullshit. 70 years? That's not helping anyone except copyright trolls.

Anyway. You all must get over this SILLY notion that you have a right to get paid. You don't. Your pictures are not worth anything. Your music is not worth anything. Your art is not worth anything. Your software is not worth anything.

If you want to get paid, you get paid by working on commission, at an agreed rate and hopefully in advance.

0
3

You'll never believe it: Apple stock is going for CHEAP

Stretch
Bronze badge

This just stops the price looking so inflated. Once the cash pile is doled out in dividends then the price will drop. That's all the value is atm: a lot of people just staring at the bank balance and drooling. The have made some very overpriced purchases recently and smartphones in general have saturated some markets. The tablet competition is very healthy with segmentation that even they have been forced to follow. New programming languages are two a penny and do not interest big shareholders. So where can the price go really?

Say the following happened:

- They lose a big patent suit...

- They get knobbled for tax by governments under media pressure...

- They are forced to write off value of some large acquisitions...

All of these things could easily happen in the short term and even all at the same time. Of course, the same could happen to Google. Or Samsung. I think Apple are most vulnerable though. They have built a market on 'cool'. And that tarnishes. Its already happening imo.

1
3

Everyone can and should learn to code? RUBBISH, says Torvalds

Stretch
Bronze badge

Irrelevant.

The man made Git. Therefore I would propose all sorts of things for him that would not be allowed under Malicious Communications. He has ruined everything.

0
6

Page: