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* Posts by Stretch

346 posts • joined 22 Aug 2007

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BENDY iPhone 6, you say? Pah, warp claims are bent out of shape: Consumer Reports

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What about...

...raising it to, say, body temperature before the test? Or hotter as my phone at least gets bloody warm when Ingressing.

I'm wondering what heat would do to this. Bet these were all icy cold.

and hat tip to Somtimes_Right, posted as I did.

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US stakes out 'net battleground ahead of ITU meeting

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@AC

/facepalm

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'Could we please not have naked developers running around the office BEFORE 10pm?'

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Building apps and javascript doesn't count tbh.

Also, i like "what is there to do in berlin: leave"

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Oracle plans German DCs to soothe NSA-ruffled nerves

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Re: All well and good

Indeed. And they won't be stopping at US companies. If you do any business in the US you'll be subject to the same.

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Stanford Uni: Google cash leaves us entirely impartial and unbiased

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Re: Fake Steve

did he Fake die? Can we hold a Fake seance?

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Sun of a beach! Java biz founder loses battle to keep his shore private

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what an asshat!

Great way to make yourself popular locally.

Oh he has to pay for some upkeep out of his BILLION DOLLAR FORTUNE. Oh deary, deary me. Poor rich guy.

What I don't understand, is that they knew where he lived, and didn't sort the problem quickly and quietly by drowning the fucker on his own precious beach.

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Cut-off North Sea island: Oh crap, ferry's been and gone. Need milk. SUMMON THE DRONE

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Swim.

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Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city

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Starting new party...

EU Independence Party. We will start by hacking off a chunk of Kent, call it part of the EU, allowing people Human Rights and all the things the toryscum want rid of, separate from this racist, xenophobic, warmongering, foul, awful, overpriced shithole we call the "UK".

There will be beer.

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Bad boy builds beastly Bash bug botnet, boxen battered

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that's some nice subediting

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Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team

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Re: Many posters in this thread seem to think that all MS OS's crash frequently - they do not.

"I have never seen a single Linux kernel panic (equivalent of a bluescreen) on a stock kernel (a kernel from the repositories), in over 15 years"

You should try turning them on. Helps. I have yet to see a linux kernel panic for over 15 minutes, but many, many, many before. Including in Production. At Christmas. At Midnight.

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Good Man! Completely agree! Ofc, using ipad as the generic term for tablet is a crime against humanity

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While you queued for an iPhone 6, Apple's Cook sold shares worth $35m

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insider trading MUCH?

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EE buys 58 Phones 4u stores for £2.5m after picking over carcass

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Re: Smash and grab

Was for me. You need to learn how to manipulate desperate sales assistants,

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Re: Smash and grab

the point was the better customer service, independent advise, exclusive deals and prices and ACTUALLY HAVING COMPETITION.

You forget, Steve, that EE's interests != Your interests. And if you say this is good for them then it is certainly not good for any of us.

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Apple: SO sorry for the iOS 8.0.1 UPDATE BUNGLE HORROR

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This has all brought me total and blissful joy.

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Emma Watson urges UN to back feminism – trolls threaten to leak her 'nude selfies'

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This has been orchestrated by a sock puppeting advertising agency. Nothing to do with 4chan at all, just using their name.

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MOST iPhone strokers SPURN iOS 8: iOS 7 'un-updatening' in 5...4...

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"faithful"

...is so the right word. They remind me of every other religious nutjob.

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Swiss cops BAN MASKS at meeting of rebellious United Nations IP staff

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how come everything in Switzerland is so corrupt?

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Ab phab: Apple is Britain's coolest brand YET AGAIN

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i assume this is only cool for those who can be influenced by "key influencers", or "fucktards", not for the rest of us.

Anyway, please join me in a campaign of hate directed against that idiot CoolBrands company.

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Germany strikes again over Amazon warehouse pay

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WTF are all these comments about

Nazism? Football? Xenophobia? Crumbs when did the dailymail readership turn up.

Anyway, I agree with Amazon here really but not because of any of their arguments. I'm a supporter of trade unions but I don't believe in these collective pay agreements. They are just backwards and de-motivating. The union should act on the behalf of each individual and use collective action to support individuals in the face of any bullying or unfair actions from the company.

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Apple iPhone 6: Looking good, slim. AW... your battery died

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Re: How much?@AC

lol, lol, lol, lol, lol, lol, lol, lol

your phone "holds its value"? my god. this is actually the most stupid comment on here ever.

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Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us

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Interestingly if anyone was to make use of this information it would instantly become wrong.

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JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!

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Re: Is Scotland too small to survive on its own?

Hmm but...

New Zealand is a lovely place, with glorious weather, fantastic environments and great people.

And Scotland is a shithole.

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surely if they win 51% of the vote and just scrape it, then they only get 51% of Scotland? Seems fair to me.

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Top Gear Tigers and Bingo Boilers: Farewell then, Phones4U

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yeah, blurred coz arseholes are arseholes regardless of market research.

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Microsoft's rumoured $2.5bn Minecraft gobble expected on Monday

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@ Anonymous Coward

Oh you uninformed AC.

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Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water

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they don't own shit.

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Oh noes, fanbois! iPhone 6 Plus shipments 'DELAYED' in the UK

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Re: Did you eat the whopper?

Absolutely. This is ENTIRELY artificial.

If you bought one, please, kill yourself for the good of mankind.

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Re: £699

"nontechnical person" you see, you've found my strongest insult.

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Hacker publishes tech support phone scammer slammer

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If you tell the scammer you are going to exploit him when he tries to connect then it would not be a crime. I doubt many of them have any idea what they are doing or how, and would answer "yes, ok" to anything you say

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iPhone 6: Advanced features? Pah! Nexus 4 had most of them in 2012

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Attention Macscum

Question: Did you not see The Fappening?

Question: Do you really want to use Apple Pay?

If the answers are yes you seriously need to reconsider your continued existence.

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Order an iPhone 6 from midnight PT – if Apple's web store holds up better than its livestream

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macscum are not people

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Slap my Imp up: Bullfrog's Dungeon Keeper

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I remember buying this on a day out with my family when very young. What an excellent game.

The creators of Dungeon Gouger on mobile should be hung, drawn and quartered obviously.

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Apple iCloud storage prices now ONLY double Dropbox, Google et al

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no they are what we call "twats"

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Apple Watch will CONQUER smartwatch world – analysts

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Daniel Matte you are dumb. That is all.

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Greater dev access to iOS 8 will put us AT RISK from HACKERS

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"One reason iOS is erroneously perceived to be more secure than Android"

FTFY

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Who us, SHARE infrastructure? Networks reject gov proposal

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Mandatory Coverage Requirement

Give them all exactly the same requirement. Tell them to sort it between themselves. They will simply set up a system that allows them the most profit. The most profit comes from least overheads and costs (you would have thought).

If they all must serve everyone then they will naturally find the least expensive way of achieving that.

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The Schmidt hits the clan: Google chief mauls publishers' 'abuse of dominance' claims

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In the beginning...

The Internet was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Google moved upon the face of the waters.

And Google said, Let there be meaningful results: and there was meaningful results.

And Google saw the results, and that they were good: and Google divided the results from the paid adverts.

And the evening and the morning were the first day. And Google was the internet.

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IT jargon is absolutely REAMED with sexual double-entendres

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Someone has been playing Banished.

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FCC boss Wheeler: Lack of broadband choice is screwing Americans

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NCTA

Simple solution: Do exactly the opposite of whatever the NCTA want and everyone will benefit.

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Jimbo tells Wikipedians: You CAN'T vote to disable 'key software features'

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"you have permanent lower-caste status, and have simply been working hard for other people to get rich."

Ah, smells like the real world.

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Gang behind '1.2 billion' megahack ransack is pwning our customers – hosting firm

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seems like a reasonable response all round from them.

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Apple 'fesses up: Rejected from the App Store, dev? THIS is why

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"Apple sets a high bar."

Oh my. Everyone in the office turned to stare at me after I burst out laughing.

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GCHQ protesters stick it to British spooks ... by drinking urine

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""breaking the law if they attempt to take photos of any GCHQ staff"

Sorry my irony meter just exploded

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'I think photographers get TOO MUCH copyright for their work'

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Important Point

You must realise you have NO AUTOMATIC RIGHT TO BE PAID FOR ANYTHING EVER. If you think you can scam people into giving you money for a pretty picture or a nice tune then gratz, carry on, don't mention what a racket you are running.

But you must, must, MUST realise that it is exactly that: a scam. You must be honest with yourselves. You are con artists. You produce nothing. You cannot eat a picture. You cannot take shelter in a house.

Take a look a the current penchant for survivalist games. You must find Food! Warmth! At no point are you encouraged to develop a system for monetising humming or finger painting.

So please, whinge all you like, but deep down, in the depth of your hearts, please, please, keep close to yourselves that you are worthless scum.

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Euro banks will rip out EVERYTHING and buy proper backend systems ... LOL, fooled ya

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I could not be more happy...

...than to be told that the banks are running reliable, thoroughly specified and tested, rock solid zSeries and iSeries platforms running CICS and COBOL and RPG.

These things WORKED. A lot of effort was put in by well qualified and intelligent people.

Farming things to India to be poorly coded in .net from non-existent designs and then implementing without exhaustive testing DOES NOT WORK.

Just because it doesn't have Cloud written on the side does not mean you should replace it.

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Yes, and the call center staff HATED the crappy, slow web based replacement which was significantly worse than the green screen application. The company was Aviva, the new system was "N200" meaning "Next 200 Years". It was replaced the next year by N201.

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EU justice chief blasts Google on 'right to be forgotten'

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"This ruling does not give the all-clear for people or organisations to have content removed from the web simply because they find it inconvenient"

She must realise that this is exactly what it has done?

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Oz biz regulator discovers shared servers in EPIC FACEPALM

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"blame some junior person"

I am sure everyone understands that when companies pin the blame on "some junior person", said person was only doing exactly what they had been told.

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