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* Posts by MYOFB

60 posts • joined 20 Aug 2007

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DVLA declares J14 HAD on BU14 SHT and SL14 AGS

MYOFB
WTF?

A bit late aren't they?!

I can confirm (as I've seen it with my own eyes more than once) there is a vehicle in the northwest of the UK bearing the registration number: PE51 NIS. They missed that one by a country mile and then some.

Offensive? Fuck Nooooo!!

Funny? Sure is.

DVLA (or any government dept for that matter) should get a life or over themselves. There's too much misery in this country (let alone the world) to be so anal about such innocuous things. Anything that brightens my day by making me smile or laugh is more than welcome in my world.

Even though it could be construed as "toilet humour", it produced a positive outcome even if only for a few seconds. I'll take that each and every day of the week thanks!!

ICON?

Cos I'm sure there's a few cars out there registered with that combination of letters!!

Wankers!!

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Bloke jailed for being unable to use BlackBerry Messenger freed

MYOFB

Re: This is...

I can go a lot better (worse) than this. Picture the scene, burglar gets rumbled by plod on the beat and a chase ensues. Blagger, in his attempt to escape, bursts into a house whose occupant is nursing an ill BABY. The blagger is waving a crowbar around, screaming and shouting, plod bursts in and tackles the scum. Unfortunately, the scumbag starts to get the better of plod and in due course he shouts to the father nursing the ill BABY for help. Obviously, the father is in no position to profer such help, being in the circumstance of nursing an ill BABY and the burglar eventually overpowered plod sufficiently to make his escape.

End of story? Not by any stretch . . .

The father of the ill BABY was charged, prosecuted and convicted for failure to help an officer of the law in discharging his duties. IIRC he got 2 years in the slammer and spent 12 months in there before his sentence was reduced to 1 year but the "crime" was not overturned.

It was the biggest WTF!! moment of my life at the time but it left me with the overall impression that still exists today that the law is one big saggy fat ass!!

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Speculation swells as Apple event draws near

MYOFB
Jobs Horns

P'raps . . .

. . . a new liver served up on iPharva Beans washed down with a glass of Chianti?

P'raps not . . . Who knows?!

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Crowds greet A380 at Manchester Airport

MYOFB

Oooh . . . So that's what

the noise was!!

Big plane

Big deal

Bigger problems than either 4me . . .

. . . and U2 if you can wake up!!

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1

Microsoft releases FixIt for critical flaw in 100 apps

MYOFB
Pint

At least that explains why . . . .

. . . everything else Microo-Shite has gone wrong today/tonight!!

SNAFU !!

Beer? Cos I can relax and enjoy it now!!

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6

UK.gov smiles and nods at commentards

MYOFB
Big Brother

My suggestion was . . .

. . . to get rid of the ability to move the goalposts of legislated law by using Statutory Instrument.

Why? Because if you can't cover all the bases in Primary Legislation it is either bad legislation or you're being lazy!!

Remember YOU ('re supposed to) work for US !!

BTW: My take on PR, AV and/or FPTP system(s) is:

Let's do a Capello and not let the populace or the politicians know until an hour or two before (kick-off) polling stations open what system is being used to count.

OR

Add in a second ballot paper to allow you to vote on which system you want used. If a vote system ballot is enacted then count the vote system ballots first and then the votes.

That will definitely make them work for us!! No PM'sterial debates, no meally-mouthed promises, NO SHIT!!

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UK.gov may cut BBC licence fee in 2012

MYOFB
Stop

I think you will find this interesting

You are not required (or to use your parlance: FORCED) to pay the licence fee if you own/purchase equipment capable of receiving a "broadcast" TV signal.

The requirement to pay is if you *DO* use it for that purpose. How do I know this? Here's how!

"If you watch or record television programmes as they're being shown on TV you must, by law, be covered by a TV Licence, no matter what device you're using."

Taken from: http://www.tvlicensing.co.uk/

The operative portion of the above being: " . . . as they're being shown on TV . . . " ie *Broadcast*!

You can watch any amount of TV programming you want to Catchup on at the likes of iPlayer, 4OD, etc . . . so long as it's not at the time it is being *Broadcast*!

BTW, next time you go to purchase any equipment capable of receiving a TV Broadcast and are asked for your name and address, tell the sales droid to FOAD as it's not a legal requirement to provide that info to allow you to buy a telly, etc . . . !!

PS: I have a 32" *TV* that I hook up my Wii, DVD player and laptop to . . . An aerial, WTF for . . . TV is ess-aitch-one-tee!!

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Ex-BT tech chief quits Phorm

MYOFB
Pint

". . . pursue other interests" . . .

. . . is a euphemism for being shown the door, given the push, or in very, very simple terms: SACKED!!

I have worked in many companies that, on the departure of a well known and apparently successful employee, an email from a 'high ranking' figure used the exact terminology.

The reality of what actually tranpsired is, the high ranking bull shitters were out-bullshitted by a bigger bullshitter, finally caught on and didn't like it one bit . . . ergo statement of " pursuing other interests"!!

Sclerapis' parting "comment" was manufactured by Phorm in a "please stay calm, everything is ok" moment or by Sclerapis himself in as much as "I'm as good at what I do as I say I am"

Whichever is the case, there's still a lingering smell of . . . Bullshit!!

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Privacy watchdog bashes UK.gov net snoop plan

MYOFB

I'm late again . . . I know already BUT!!!! . . .

. . . the question I'm asking in my mind is . . . are Dan 10 and EdwardP reading my thoughts??!!

I only ask because:

1) It's pretty creepy and

2) You've both saved me a lot of typing.

I couldn't put what you have both posted any better myself!

@ Paul Gomme . . . You didn't imagine it, it's all true . . . BUT . . . I suspect you know already (and if you don't, you will soon) that the biggest threat of terror is already upon us all . . . and it is certainly NOT from without our own shores.

The majority of home grown "Terrorist Acts" originate from the Palaces of Westminster these days . . . if you catch my drift!!

Beyond our shores, they emanate from a variety of persons with a "vested interest" in keeping the cycle of terror spinning . . . . I'll leave it up to yourselves to work out who!!

All that said, I will ask this question:

Is it not about time we had Magna Carta version 2 . . . Wherein, instead of the Barons forcing the King to be subject to law, that the personage of Parliament and Queen/King be forced to be subject to who pay their salaries and for them to perform their roles as deemed by the masses??!!

Yeah I know, too simplistic but I would rather be living in the 21st century with my eyes open and savvy as opposed to living in the 13th century in blindness and ignorance!!!!!

If you catch my drift!!!!!!!

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Former astronaut takes control of NASA

MYOFB

Devils' Advocate?

Were we to add up all the money spent on space exploration by the various governments of the planet we occupy and had chanelled all of that monetary resource throughout 'Life on Earth (tm BBC)', for the last forty years then maybe . . . . just maybe . . . . we might not be witnessing the world of today as we (as individuals) see it today!!

That is not a criticism of the last four decades . . . . just a repetition of the last two millenia.

I am not a climatologist, nor am I an ecologist. I'm certainly not a terrorist (but then again who is?) or an evangelist. I am not a scientist but I have studied physics/chemistry/biology in my life.

I am not a doom-monger either . . . . BUT . . . . I reserve the right to say this at least . . . .

Whatever your concern is about the marble you inhabit today, if you want it to remain the third rock from the sun, then you had better start thinking . . . . .

"Shouldn't we be looking to solve ALL the issues we have here on the Blue Marble . . . . first and then go looking for trouble elsewhere??!!

I leave all that for you to decide.

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Visa dings teen for $23-quadrillion restaurant charge

MYOFB
Happy

Fnar-fnar-fnar!!

1. Haircut by a blind stylist . . . . £15

2. Dinner with a minger of a blind date . . . £10 (including tip, charity box donation and his/her bus fare back to ugly land)

There are some things money can't buy . . . Fucked up billing?

We'll leave that to VISA!!

For everything else, you can rely on MasterCard.

PRICELESS!!!!!!

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US city demands FaceSpaceGooHoo log-ins from job seekers

MYOFB
Flame

This is definitely a test . . . .

. . . . of the integrity of anyone applying for a position in the, Police, Fire, Lifeguard, City Hall areas of Numpty Land(tm)!!

Either that or the City Attorney is a complete fuckwit trying to defend such requests!!

Anyone who actually applied for such high office/integrity positions that relinquished the requested account details would automatically FAIL to secure employment in said positions!!

In fact, if you were applying for a street cleaner job, I'd fucking FAIL you!!

And as for City Attorney Greg Sullivan . . . he failed the moment he opened his saggy jawed chops and slavered his sputum in an attempt at a defense . . . . Wanker!!

\ Calm \

Yeah, definitely a test . . . . if only of my patience!!

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Judge orders Echostar to disable set-top DVR

MYOFB
Coat

I feel this is a dumb question . . . .

. . . . but as I say to anyone who asks . . . . "There's no such thing as a 'dumb question' unless you already know the answer!!".

So my question is . . .

"Is a TiVo PVR/DVR one and the same (or linked/manufactured/marketed/sold) in much the same way as a TVonics PVR/DVR piece of kit?

I only ask because my TVonics box . . .

"allows the user to store selected television broadcast programs while the user is simultaneously watching or reviewing another program."

If they are the same company then ignore my post . . . . otherwise . . . .Echostar may have a point!!

\Coat on before I posted . . . Tin foil hat donned already . . . Just firing up the fusion reactor to deflect/deter all and any "Tosser" responses!!!

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Expenses row MPs warned to change cash card PINs

MYOFB
Coat

What's the difference . . .

. . . between . . .

a) Unemployed person(s) committing benefit fraud.

b) Police Officer(s) inappropriate use of force credit card(s).

c) MP/MEPs fiddling their expenses claims and knowingly doing so.

d) Law abiding member of the general public going about your lawful business.

Answer(s) . . .

1) If you fall into category (a) or (b) then you will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law, probably attracting a jail sentence (and if not, a hefty fine), be required to pay back what you've stolen. If you are in (b) then additionally you will lose your job and pension rights and basically will have fucked up the rest of your life.

2) If you fall into category (c) then you can enter into a protracted High Court case to evade FOI requests at taxpayers expense, will get the opportunity to vote in a bill to evade FOI requests by arguing they should not apply to you (National Security, Terrorism/Etc...), when you lose the case, stick 2 fingers up at the courts/general public by appealing against the decision, ignoring any deadlines imposed, when info is leaked be outraged by such activity, use mealy mouthed rhetoric and issue hollow apologies in an effort to make it right, be free from prosecution, evade a jail sentence, evade being 'compelled by law' to pay back the monies you stole, continue in your job and keep your pension rights, get to leave (or even compelled to leave by the voters) and walk into a highly paid position on some company/quango or advisory body payroll and generally feather the nest for you and yours for the rest of your life.

3) If you fall into category (d) then you get to watch such delights as, your nation entering into an illegal war based on lies (WMD anybody?), the erosion of your civil liberties and personal privacy, the loss of multiple millions of personal information which will at some point in your future come back to bite you in the ass, your taxes being spent bailing out incompetent businesses, your taxes being spent on projects to keep an eye (and ear) on all you do throughout the whole of your lives (DNA-DB, National ID card, etc...), your taxes being squandered on umpteen ill thought out projects, the possibility of being killed because you were in a legally rightful place but just at the wrong time, the possibility of being harassed/arrested because you were in a legally rightful place but just at the wrong time . . . I could go on indefinitely but think I may be running out of space . . .

\ That would be the MP/Copper/Benefit cheat with their hand in your pocket . . . AGAIN!!\

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Adobe users imperiled by critical Reader flaw

MYOFB

And when you've disabled it . . .

. . . I would suggest very strongly that you test that javascript is disabled.

Why?

Cos if the setting acts anything like "Automatically check for updates" (unchecked) then it will just ignore you and carry on regardless!!

Version 8.1 (could be 8.1.1) was the worst of the lot. The bar-steward tried to update, failed disgracefully and looped forever. Before we knew what had hit us, the 8meg leased line had ground to a halt.!!!

Long story short, had to reconfigure the companies firewalls to drop all connections to akamai's servers and manually rename the 2 offending exe's/dll's for the entire company.

To say I was less than happy would be the largest understatement ever achieved in the history of mankind!!

Grrrrrrr!!!!!

/ Mine's the one of me putting the smoking gun back in its' holster after shooting the Adobe development team!! /

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BBC botnet 'public interest' defence rubbished by top IT lawyer

MYOFB

Addendum!!

Go back and watch the Click Prog again between . . . 00:58 & 01:04 and count how many UK / US computers!!

And when you've done that, go to 06:35 and watch carefully!!

If you're still fucked off then . . . go ahead and withold your share of : "The license fee that you paid and they spent"

22000 bots times £30 (per 1000) divided by 24,000,000 equals £0.000275 which you can put towards your next bill for your subscription to Sky TV!!

Oops . . . Too presumptious I guess!

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Indefinite liability for online libel must end

MYOFB

Food for Thought.

While I'm no fan of mainstream media, I am equally as impressed with archaic laws such as this and stupified by those who strive to retain them!

Analysis of the timeline of this law would appear to be the following:

1. The Duke of Brunswick in 1847 learned of a libel levelled against him some 17 years previous, sent his servant to obtain a copy from the publisher and the British Museum (2nd and 3rd "publications") and successfully sued the publisher, which although this article doesn't name, was most probably The Times.

Precedent set.

2. Fast forward 101 years to 1948, when the New York Court of Appeals introduced the "Single Publication Rule" with their decision, into US Law.

Although not explicitly stated, we have to assume (for brevity) that the limitation of one year to act upon a libel was established at the same time or sometime shortly thereafter, in both US & English Law.

What we cannot assume however, is that English law acquired or instituted the Single Publication Law. If it had, this article and our comments wouldn't exist.

3. Moving forward a further 54 years, we find once more that the NYCoA ratifies the 1948 judgement, only this time they reflect upon and incorporate the Internet.

Remember, this was in 2002, a year on from 9/11, which happened in the NYCoA backyard!!

Future historians may well look back and condemn this decision but somehow I doubt it.

4. Rewind to 2001, when the British High Court ruled that every time a defamatory comment was accessed online, it constituted a "new publication".

So, no change from 154 years ago!

Remember, way back then, being "online" was coming to terms with the new fangled thing called a "News-paper".

The Duke of Brunswick didn't get 'with it' but was fortunate (and affluent) enough to send his servant to retrieve the new publications of his "online" world.

5. The Grigori Loutchansky episode only serves to prove that the "one year" rule to act upon a libel is a fallacy today in much the same way it was so many years ago.

6. Having wrote all I have, I would like you to consider the following and decide where it fits in with yester-year and today . . .

Daily Star vs. Jeffrey Archer (Libel: 1987)

Archer was alleged to have had sex with Monica Coghlan. The trial jury found in favour of Archer and awarded him half a million pounds in damages plus costs. On top of that, the Daily Star incurred costs of £1 million and sacked their editor, Lloyd Turner.

One might say, "Fair enough"! Libel claim was brought within the one year limit (which does NOT exist within English Law) and a just result awarded.

Move forward, (SLOWLY), from 1987 towards 2001 and assess this!

If J.A. hadn't brought about his claim of libel back then and waited a number of years (a bit like the Duke of Brunswick) he could have sued many more times over, for each and every "online publication" to the tune of £500,000, each and every time!!!

And then? . . . We run full tilt into reality!! Perjury and Perverting the Course of Justice.

Back in 1987 he said he would "Give the award to charity".

In 2001 he paid back the £500,000 he was awarded to the Daily Star / News of the World, along with the £1 million they incurred in court costs.

Who pays and weeps for Monica Coughlan and Lloyd Turner?

You, Me, Them??

As I said at the beginning: "While I'm no fan of mainstream media, I am equally as impressed with archaic laws such as this and stupified by those who strive to retain them!"

But I remember the victims and I have no association with any of them except my own humanity!

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World of Warcraft: 'The crack cocaine of the computer world'

MYOFB

So much Angst!!

But what's to be expected . . . especially from addicts and Kids??!!

I have read all the comments . .. all the way down to '@mycho By David S' . . . at the time of my post . . . BUT . . . the one I read, read again and re-read many times was the one entitled:

"Addiction" and posted by AC @ 00:37 GMT

My reply is from the heart and may make for interesting reading, perhaps even amusing but remember . . . it is from my heart (as well as my head). Feel free to read on . . . or not . . . that is your choice!

1. "Ok smart non-parents...You wipe your computers clean of WoW. You close the account. Sorted, right?"

I am a parent and a grandparent . . . Wiped many computers clean in my time but not of WoW but I'll stand by your story for the moment. Sounds reasonable to "close the account" and being "Sorted, right?"

Who the fuck opened the "account" in the first place??!!

2. "Nope. Your kid can get a prepaid debit card to pay for an account. As pointed out, it's only $15/mo. He can play at friends. He can hang out at internet cafes. Remember, this person is approximately as smart as you are, and *all* they want to do is play WoW."

Really??!! How does any kid get one of those without money?? Sorry, my mistake, he can get the money, play at friends and hang out at Internet cafes because your a fucking lame excuse of a parent who can't be arsed doing what you should be doing as a parent and sit on your lardy arse saying: "You want what? Oh, It's in my wallet, take what you want / need.". BTW Your kids smartness is ahead of your proximity . . . don't fucking insult MY INTELLIGENCE with your STUPIDITY!!

3. "Your kid lies. He says he's doing something else, hanging with his friends, studying. You have to catch each lie and give it consequences. And you're biased toward believing him, because he is your own child. Yeah, you can punish him, but remember, he's *motivated*."

All kids try to lie, it's part of growing up. The trick is not to be a liar yourself and when you're found out to be one, don't bleat about your own 'innocence' and fail to accept theirs!! A liar can never catch out a lie and the consequence of your fat arsed lazy actions would leave anyone *motivated* to carry on in the same way!!

4. "Whatcha gonna do if they defy you openly? They're big, physically. Want to lock them up? Hit them? This kind of parenting is frowned upon, and sometimes they hit back. You send them to their room, and for the next few hours, they aren't playing. Gonna stay up all night to keep 'em from sneaking out of the house? Gonna stay home from work to keep 'em at home? You have less free time than your kid does, even if you are a perfect parent. If it was actually drugs, you could get in-patient treatment at a rehab center. Not so many opportunities if the activity isn't illegal."

You shouldn't have put yourself in that situation in the first place! And you're not "Big Physically!!" No need to "lock them up" or "hit them"! What for, your own dismal failings?! Maybe it is "frowned upon" but why would they "hit back"? Maybe you should have sent "them" to the bottom of the stairs instead of the haven of their room! The only reason they "sneak out of the house" is because you're a prick of a parent and you wouldn't need to stay "home from work" if you weren't!! You're right on the "free time" comment and I'm certainly not and never will be a "perfect parent" (or grandparent for that matter), but if you choose to cave in at the drop of a bottom lip then tell me why should the 'treatment' be paid for by more responsible parents just because you didn't, couldn't and never intended to give a SHIT about YOUR KID!!!

5. "Ultimately you can throw him out to teach him a lesson, but this is the "nuclear option" of parenting. It implies complete failure."

The only ultimate and nuclear conclusion to this part of your post is you are a complete failure. I'm not 'IMPLYING' this conclusion . . . It's a STATEMENT OF FACT!!!

6. "Yeah, there are parents who can't handle even a mild case of playing too much. They need to be, uh, corrected. But even a really terrific parent will struggle with addiction. To anything."

A true and real 'parent' can handle whatever comes along, be it mild or extreme!! How can they do this?? Because whether the child they bear is planned or un-planned, a true / real parent takes responsibility, accepts responsibility, feels and is, ultimately responsible for their children!!

The only thing that needs to be "corrected" is the gene pool that spawns fuckwit 'parents' such as yourself . . . unfortunately you've already spawned another generation of your defect but maybe . . . just maybe . . . your kid will be able to get far enough away from you that by the time he becomes a 'parent' said gene will be permanently dormant . . . I do hope so!!

To El Reg moderators:

Obviously, you are free to reject my post and refrain from allowing it to appear on your site but I truly hope you don't, as I feel my response is a counter-balance to many of lifes' reflections.

Regards

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Google gets a touch of the ODFOs

MYOFB
Happy

@AC 13:17

ODFO you Doofus!!

Please acquire a sense of humour soon, although to gain that you would also need a life.

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MYOFB
Coat

What's the Prize?

I was just wondering cos I am thinking about claiming it, seeing as you're running a 'Spot the Difference' competition. . . . Well it is Friday!

1. The 'pages from Australia' radio button is selected in picture #1, 'the Web' in picture #2.

2. The 'Results' stats are missing in picture #1 but appear in picture #2.

3. The 'Search' button has a grey background in picture #1 whereas it is white in picture #2.

4. The time saving 'Tip' doesn't appear in picture #1 but does in picture #2.

5. The top and left border of the search box in picture #1 are 'emboldened' but not in picture #2.

So what have i won . . Huh, huh??!!

/ Mine's the one with a copy of 'Puzzler(tm) in the pocket /

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Ruling: Gov reports into ID scheme must be disclosed

MYOFB

Transparency . . vs . . Opaqueness . . .

. . . vs . . . Darkness.

1. Transparency:

I see you, you see me, in amongst our modesty. I see the sea just like thee, in amongst our modesty. We see the sea together.

2. Opaqueness:

I see you through lowering cloud, You see me through a gathering crowd. I see you, you see me, regardless of our modesty. Can you see the sea?

3. Darkness:

I see you, though it's difficult now. Can you see me, through that sacred cow? I think I see you but can you see me? I can't see the sea and neither can we!!

If only we had our modesty!!

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0
MYOFB

Shouldn't we be chanting . . .

. . . "If you've nothing to hide, you've nothing to fear"? at the OGC, Guvmint, MP's, Councillors and anyone else involved in the:

Enigma, wrapped up in a riddle, inside a conundrum that represents all shades ands habits of the political and media "professions"?

Or is that me being a little too cynical!!??

"Yes!!!"

'Really . . . I thought I was being realistic . . . Ho-Hum!!'

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Fraudsters cream opposition in cybercrime wars

MYOFB

John . . . You 'Almost' had me going there . . .

. . . until your last "Caveat" paragraph!!

It's a good job you signed off with that because I was looking to rip you a new one . . . or two!!

It doesn't help when you 'file a report' with acronyms such as . . . OFT, APACS and FSA . . . whether you expand them or not!

But the clincher . . . for me personally, was . . . the 'comment' from David Emm, senior Tech C'unt of . . . 'Kasper - drive your bulldozer through my front and back door - Sky' looking for a way out of the . . .Ess-aitch-one-tee !!

Which, as it happens, was preceded by this:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/02/10/kaspersky_promises_audit/

My summary?:

1. S.I.D., et al, should 'cease and desist' using the "cyber" prefix! Dr Who always defeats the Daleks and Cyber(wo)men . . . or so I am told!!

2. OFT and GSO research ( Who the feck are GSO?) shows fuckall about fuckall because they know fuckall about fuckall. The only thing missing from their report is 'child abuse!!'

3. APACS "report" is to June 2008 and has fuckall to do with 'online banking fraud' and more to do with covering their fecking asses in the same way the FSA is doing!!

Hmm, what's that smell? Er, nothing. Really?

I thought it was . . . books . . . cooking!!

4. A risk outlook report by regulators the Financial Service Authority lamented that consumer awareness of fraudulent techniques is mediocre - at best.

Is this a defense plea or a , , , "Yippie-Ky-Ay . . . MoFo!!" . . . moment??

5 . . . "and finally" . . . To appease all those who have . . . "Nothing to hide, nothing to fear" . . . advocates . . . I personally have nothing to hide and the only thing I have to 'fear' . . . is FEAR ITSELF !!

Or more precisely . . . FUD . . .

Fear (Hmm, don't think so),

Uncertainty (I know where others are coming from but I know where I am),

Doubt (Don't we all, but like a blizzard . . . I can see through a shit-storm and a storm of shit!!)

Ho-Hum for now!

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Immortal Dr Who jellyfish poised to rule Earth

MYOFB
Alien

Hmm, I'm sure I've seen these before . . .

. . . if I could only figure out where . . .

"First up, yes, the thing doesn't die unless it feels like it."

". . . is just about impossible to kill. In the face of starvation, physical attack or "other crisis", it shapeshifts itself into "a bloblike cyst" from which it can then be reborn in a quite literally stomach-churning process."

Ooh, ooh, it's just come back to me. I read the upside down Union Flag snippet and seeing Mandies' face clinched it . . . the Palaces of Westminster are fucking full of this shit !!!!

"In fact the disgusting *PARLIAMENTARIAN* slime hordes exhibit all the qualities one would expect in a hideous notional composite made up of equal parts jellyfish, vampire, lycanthrope, clone stormtrooper assassin and Dr Who/Dorian Gray/Benjamin Button/etc. Not only that, they are also freeloading hitchhiker degenerates, who have spread to conquer all the *CORNERS* of the world by riding undetected in the bilgewater of human *APATHY*."

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Apple scores 'power connector' patent

MYOFB
Coat

OMG!!

USPTO grants Apple a patent on a cigarette lighter!! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .

Apologies for my absense . . . have just been registering my "Design" and "Utility" patent on USPTO's website for my invention!!

The "Design" part of my patent application involves an as yet undiscovered way of allowing an individual, (male or female), to rid themselves of their 'Bodily Wastes'!!

The "Utility" part of my patent application involves another, as yet undiscovered, way of allowing an individual, (male or female), to rid themselves of 'All other wastes they encounter'!!

To explain more concisely:

'Design'

If you can shit, piss, belch, puke and fart as good as me, then you ain't got NOTHING!! But you turn out a Turd, Piss or Puke swirl or Belch/Fart in a decibel range that resembles anything like my Patent, then you're up for a whole load of Whupass!!

'Utility'

If you can Talk Shit, be Piss Poor, Belch Crap, Puke Patents and Fart as Loud, then carry on doing what you know best!!

If not, then . . . . . .

Feel free to use my 'Utility Patent' for the purpose I invented it for . . . . . .

Get rid of all the crap that keeps floating to the top . . . . even after you've flushed . . . "HOW MANY TIMES!!

// Cleaners/Dry Cleaners . . . Not as good these days as they were years ago . . . for getting rid of SHIT!!

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Obama unfurls master plan for US cybersecurity

MYOFB

Correct me if I'm wrong

"Funding for research and development to harden the US cyber infrastructure. The initiative would involve private industry and academia "to develop and deploy a new generation of secure hardware and software." . . .

The funding for this R & D exercise will come from sacking all the idiots who allowed McKinnon to walk in the front door, thus allowing the employment of personnel who actually *know how to* secure a network of such magnitude!!

"Working with the private sector to establish "tough new standards for cyber security and physical resilience." . . .

While at the same time the 'Private Sector' will be working to 'Secure' their share price and the 'Resilience' of their profits on the back of 'Government' investment . . . For 'Government' read Tax Payer!!

"Preventing corporate cyber-espionage to protect the nation's trade secrets and research and development" . . .

My personal opinion is: Tthe 'China Hack' is completely true!!

"Developing a strategy to minimize opportunities for cybercrime, including "shutting down untraceable internet payment schemes." . . .

Looks like the Lads from Lagos have got the attention of the Prez of the USA but I don't think Western Union will be too happy!! . . . OR . . . It could be a veiled threat to UK.gov so they won't try to re-introduce a bill to prevent FOI requests on MP's expenses that are sucked out of the coffers to fund the 'Grand Cayman Ball' or such like!

"Mandating standards for securing personal data including the institution of "a common standard for security such data across industries." . . .

Shouldn't that be: 'security of' OR 'securing' . . . "such data across industries"? That was just nit-picking!! What the sentence/phrase means is . . . "Look, if we're gonna do a Phorm job, we need to be singing from the same hymn sheet to secure as much of all that lurrrvvvly personal data for all of our misguided needs and deeds!!"

That's just my take on this El Reg article and it has probably caused offense to some but what I find most offensive is this:

"Certainly, the President will need advising on this issue," said Bruce Schneier, chief security technology officer for BT. "How he gets it matters less than that he gets it."

Oh phor Phucks sake, Phorget it!! You get into bed with Phorm Phuckers then you choose to be Phucked over. "How he gets it matters less than that he gets it" Yeah, sure, I agree BUT not phrom YOU!!

Maybe Phil Zimmerman but I guess you're still acting out your role in 'Sneakers'!!

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CPW's Dunstone admits 'dread' over state of the economy

MYOFB

My, my . . .

All true with the most pertinent comment being:

"Every single one of us is now paying for the mistakes that were made by financial institutions and their regulators over the past decade."

But at least the latest mistake by the FSA worked in their (CPW's) favour because they (the FSA) should have keel-hauled David Ross for his behaviour!!

The fact that they didn't just goes to show the regulators, in this case the FSA, should be sued under the Trades Description Act for failing to throw the book at Ross and CPW.

The FSA's 'trade' is to 'regulate' according to the rules and no amount of pitiful excuses for failing to act on the illegal actions of David Ross is good enough to count as mitigating their entire inability to fulfil their duty!!

Furthermore, the reason the FSA put forward for taking no action is a complete and utter lie in itself!! To wit:

"The Financial Services Authority (FSA) said today its rules on whether David Ross was required to declare the loan arrangements had been *unclear*. It added that in future directors must obtain permission from them to use company stock as security."

Unclear my ASS!!! The reporting requirement when utilising shares to transact first and/or third party business has ALWAYS been as clear as night follows day!

I think I'll leave it at that (even though there's more I could say) because if I don't I'll be accused of digressing from the story.

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Government pipedreams on internet ratings doomed to fail

MYOFB

Re: AMFM - 14:46 GMT - Yesterday

I do not and will not, pretend to understand your latest post in response to mine.

Please do not be offended by my revelation, I am more connected to posts such as your previous one @ 31st December 2008 10:07 GMT. That made more sense to the "realistic" side of my being.

But don't despair, despite my inability to decipher the whole of your cryptic message, You have struck a chord with me.

Like yourself, I read the pages of El Reg (along with many others) and despair of the world we find ourselves in. That is nothing new, despair, but hope is around the next corner or so it is said.

And that is where mere mortals fail, with hope in their heart. Am I a mere mortal? No, I am not!! I am me!!

It is at this point I will seem to digress from the subject but history is replete with such activity.

The last time, in our history (if you go back far enough), that we were subjected to Absolute Rule by one "faction" was just a little over 350 years ago.

Back then, mere mortals (subjects) rose up and fought against what they believed was wrong with the system. Nothing wrong with that, especially as in the intervening 350 years or so, "things" got better.

But maybe . . . just maybe, the Parliamentarians have just got too big for their boots this last decade or three and then some??!!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not for or against Cromwell and neither am I Pro / Anti Monarchy . . . I am a realist and the realist inside of me says this:

If it took the Monarchy 1650 years to piss off mere mortals, they must have been doing something right, because it's only taken Parliamentarians 21.21% (approximately one fifth) of that amount of time to completely get up the nose of everyone else since then!!

So, in answer to your question of: "What I propose to change anything" my answer is:

Let's go back 350 years in time, resurrect the Monarchy, bring them forward in time to the here and now & bow and curtsey as all loyal subjects should. The difference??!!

When the "powers" that prevail today bow to the Monarchy, they (the Monarchy) use that fucking sword to draw their blood and stain the carpet a proper colour of RED!!!

\ Too many Icons to choose from, Thumbs Up/Down - Stop/Go - Smile/Frown - Etc . . .But one thing it isn't . . . is a Joke Alert!!

Black Helicopters it is then . . . At least for me!!

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MYOFB

Re: AMFM - 13:57GMT

High praise indeed but I prefer reality to rant. If you believe that to be a rant then you wouldn't want to read a true rant from me.

As for proposals to change things, well I think they're about to change dramatically over the course of the next 12 months. The last 2-3 months has only been a taster for what is to come and if there are still people asleep to what those in high office are doing with their "power" then they are the lost ones.

Aside of that, only this:

"A citizen must always be ready to defend him/her self . . . Against their Government. Ask the question of Why?"

One final note. It was a surprise, bordering on shock, that during the Queens' speech at the opening of parliament, there was one item missing from the agenda . . .

"My government will bring forward legislation to make it illegal to vote against the Labour party at any future elections. Anyone found to be voting for any other political party will be hung, drawn and quartered"

Then I regained my senses and realised they would do like they always do and tag that legislation on to the end of some obscure and/or boring policy (fishing quotas for example) where there is no-one in the house at 3:00am listening to it. Just like they've done for a multitude of morally inept legislation already.

All the best to You and Yours for 2009.

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MYOFB

I'm Back!!

@ Graham Marsden:

Well said Sir, succinct, accurate and restrained. I congratulate you on your use of "Government" and not Nu-Labour, as it matters not which colour is in power (red, blue, yellow, etc...) because the fundamental policy of any colour is to shaft its' electorate as hard and for as long as possible. Which brings me nicely to . . .

@ Winkypop:

How old (or should that be naive) are you? The probability of ANY politician acquiring a clue about ANYTHING (let alone the Internet) is as remote as the outer reaches of the solar system! Well, that's not entirely accurate, they do have a clue on how to line their own pockets, look after number one, rape the country of its' self esteem and stick it to the masses quicker than you can blink. Please wake up!!

. . . and finally . . .

@ David Wiernicki:

How can anyone derive such a sense of smugness in voting OUT a president who was never voted IN!! Unlike yourself, I possess a longer attention span than an amoeba and a far greater memory capacity than a goldfish, which is obvious as I recollect the 2000 presidential election debacle. Nuff said on that point.

As for your Freedom of Speech, well, how can I put it across to you in simple terms? David Blaine springs to mind!! Just an illusion but then again I also figure Git'mo doesn't factor into your vocabulary let alone Extraordinary Rendition, does it??!!

Their is a ray of sun in all my ramblings, to wit, I do like the US restriction of two terms for their leader. At least you're guaranteed to get rid of the shit in eight years time, unlike over here where they can go on and on. The downside is that your president has ultimate say over anything, so what's the point of congress and the senate in terms of running the country? A great hive mind of collective thought come up with a brilliant plan and country hick Bush spits his dummy out.

I do hope Obama works out ok for you. He reminds me of Blair, champion of the people in the face of adversity . . . and what did it get us? The shit we're reaping today, THAT'S WHAT!!!!

\Anymore TWUNT comments yet?

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MYOFB

Short and Sweet . . . For NOW!! I WILL be back!!

@AC 16:36 GMT, I hope you are truly rested in readiness for NYE and are up for the long haul.

BTW, have your last 'glass' on me . . .

You know the one . . . Mind Bleach and Fire Lighters!! That will definitely make you "forget about this crap!!'

As for Mr Mc @18:51 GMT . . . Maybe you could share a straw with AC ??

Like I said in the title, I will be back to read more moronic posts on the subject.

\Pity there's no TWUNT icon, it would probably suffice for the rest of the comments!!

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Blighty's jumpjets under threat in MoD budget wrangle?

MYOFB

What a Larf . . . !!

Of the first 4 comments on this article the only one that makes any sense is 'Suspicious Git'.

I whole-heartedly agree with spending ANY money we as a nation (don't make me larf) have left in the coffers, on ALL of the services highlighted.

BUT . . . . . Anyone who truly has their eyes wide open to the world about them knows that just isn't gonna happen any time soon or ever . . . Period!!

I hasten to add that it would never happen through the 'good times' either.

This has fuck all to do with Boom or Bust and more to do with 'Screw you Jack/Jane, I'm alright and I don't give a flying fuck about you!!'

I could bang my gums (and keyboard) forever but fortunately for all of you . . . I won't but I will leave you with this last sentiment . . .

"A citizen must always be ready to defend him/her self . . . Against their Government. Ask the question of Why? Because if we don't then there's only the question of . . .

Where, who, how and no answer to WHY!! Let's face it, we've done the where, who and how throughout history but have never had a proper answer to the WHY!!

Think about it.

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Nvidia offers Intel-thrashing netbook GPU tech

MYOFB
Dead Vulture

SCC with HD (Graphics) . . . Bollocks!!

Try getting your SCC reviews up to date with the latest and greatest BEFORE expousing this crap!!

Or have El Reg fallen out with Samsung for some inexplicable reason?

Look, I know times are hard at the moment but do you not think it a reasonable thing to do, every now and then, to focus on the here and now, instead of this 'Pie in the sky' cod piece of fluffy technology??

Let's face it, if the SCC community doesn't take off further than it has done, then DreamWare (tm) such as this will never see the light of day. Why?

Because the manufacturers haven't recouped their Manufacturing/Marketing costs, let alone the R & D costs!!

So I put this to you El Reg: It's nice to hear and read about the innovations "Just around the corner" but sometimes, just sometimes, we have to settle for what's on the plate laid before us, eat it all up and trust that there will be better fayre on the menu in times to come.

If we don't, then all we can expect is more of the past and nothing of the future.

\THAT Icon? . . . Self explantory if you think about!!

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Acer beats arch-rival Asus in Q3 netbook match

MYOFB
Paris Hilton

Touched a Nerve . . . Did I?

AA1 - £179

NC10 - £Spank Monkey!!

Is it my fault you bought ASUS/Acer netbooks??!!!

Or am I the scourge of all you behold with the SCC you have laid before you??!!

Chrimbo sales? You'll be lucky to buy one next April !!

Me? Gotta get 2 of 'em before Xmas . . . Wanna show me where I can get 'em??

\Paris . . . Need I say it again? Bed . . . Crawl over . . . For NC10 . . . NUFF SAID!!/

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MYOFB
Paris Hilton

Wait for Q4 . . . Samsung Will Be Spanking Their Monkey!!

I can't believe El Reg hasn't reviewed the Samsung NC10 yet!!

I also know why you haven't . . . because you can't get hold of one . . . That's why!!

They are flying out the door faster than a lady of the night can drop to her knees for a warm beverage . . . It being winter and a recession all over the shop.

I truly do not expect this comment to be allowed through but what I do expect is a full, in depth review of THE BEST netbook on the scene from people I considered to be at the forefront of technology!!

For Christ' sake, I had to search out 'other' review sites to confirm what I already know!!

\Paris . . . Because I would crawl over her to the other side of the bed to get my hands on an NC10!! ;-)

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MoD kit chief: Blighty unsure of supersonic stealth jumpjet

MYOFB

You're F***ing Kidding . . . Right??!!

I had to check the calendar a couple of times and realised that we're a long way past 01/04/08 and a fair way short of 01/04/09. Besides, the timestamp on the article is 18:02 GMT which would have made El Reg the fool.

Having read this article twice and checked other sources of reference in respect of the world I currently (believe) I live in, I am more than convinced that there is at least one other parallel dimension or existence.

The dimension/existence that I currently occupy is one of global magnitude. The one that imbibes me with news of market collapse, millions (nay billions) of currency being pumped into economies worldwide that are suffering from SARS (Sad Assed Recession Syndrome).

Apparently, General Sir Kevin O'Donoghue and cronies occupy another dimension/existence. One that doesn't suffer from the trivial flotsam and jetsam of the real world I believe I live in.

Oh, to be on the other side of the Nexus . . . It must be a true wonder to behold!

But I am wasting time here as I have only got another 60 days to ramp up my stash of Extreme Porn before it becomes illegal and prosecutable (does that sound right Ed?).

There is but one saving grace for me in my world though, both myself and General Sir Kevin O'Donoghue will be either prosecuted or exonerated under the same law . . . To wit . . .

"Pornographic" is defined as being produced for the purposes of SEXUAL AROUSAL . "Extreme" includes acts which THREATEN A PERSONS LIFE, RESULTS, or is likely to RESULT, in SERIOUS INJURY to a person’s anus, breasts or genitals, involves sexual interference with a human corpse, or sex with an animal (dead or alive).

In addition, the picture must be grossly offensive, disgusting or otherwise of an obscene character and "A REASONABLE PERSON" would consider the action depicted to be real.

Don't know about the rest of you but my ass is really sore from the constant shafting I take from the powers that be . . . OUCH!!

\ No icon, as none of them truly represent the EXTREME ROGERING we all have to endure!!

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Oz sex trade to spank parliamentary prudes

MYOFB
Happy

Well, well, well

I think our antipodean brothers,sisters, aunties, uncles and cousins should step back . . . take a deep breath . . . and look back into their recent past and ask themselves . . . .

. . . "Did we do the right thing when we voted NO about if we wanted to become a republic?"

My honest opinion? No you didn't!!!

BTW I'm over here, not over there . . . Wish I was but unfortunately I'm not!!

The reason I feel you made the wrong decision is pretty obvious really . . . You are all starting to feel the 'Pinch' from your Government (snigger . . . Sorry, Oops UK.Gov I meant to say) in the same way we have felt for the last 10 to 15 years or so . . . and then some!!

The sooner you cast aside any and all links with the 'Fatherland' that you call home . . . the better off you will be . . . believe me!!

For all those who don't believe, I would ask this question of you . . .

"If the sun shone as bright, the sea was as blue and the days were as long as where you are now . . . OVER HERE . . . would you come back?"

All those who answered 'NO' . . . Thank you for having retained what you were born with . . . Common Sense!!

All those who answered 'YES' . . . Please form an orderly queue whilst we take a DNA swab, Iris scan, finger prints, stool and urine sample, etc . . .

"What do you need those for, Sir?"

"So we can lose them for all and sundry to use them as they see fit!"

DO YA STILL WANNA COME HOME??!! IF YA DO THEN YA WON'T HAVE TO LEAVE OZ IF YA CARRY ON THE WAY YA GOING . . . DIGGERS!!

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DARPA seeks sticky-goldenballs Casimir forcefields

MYOFB
Paris Hilton

GB's ????

"Casimir stickiness, at present, is so imperceptible and tiny that it can be detected only by the use of special microdetection apparatus featuring solid GOLDEN BALLS"

So THAT'S why LA Galaxy paid so much for Beckham!!!!

No wonder he hasn't made much of an impact on the Soccer [sic] pitch . . . DARPA are fiddling with his GB's.!

Fnah-fnah-fnah!!

/ Paris? Cos she's fiddled with more GB's than DARPA ever could.

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MS confirms European Xbox 360 price cuts

MYOFB
Paris Hilton

Yawl Missed Summat . . . or What???!!

/Quote: Neil Thompson, Senior Regional Director for Microsoft UK, said the cut was possible thanks to global sales of over 20m Xbox 360 consoles so far. “We are now able to pass on the rewards of that success to the consumer with a new retail pricing,” boasted Thompson. /Unquote

While all you FannyBoys were jacking each other off with your PS3 vs. XB360 goading, you really missed the real trick here!!

To translate Mr Thompson's statement into understandable terms . . .

"Cos we had loads of FannyBoy suckers just creaming themselves, foaming at the mouth and GAGGING for it when the XB/XB360 launched, we made a shitload of money outta their stupidity of being early adopters, which has allowed us to fuck over our original buyers by offering it at our lowest price ever to (hopefully) even more FB suckers in an effort to shift the last of our production stock before we fuck them over again by bringing out a new Ooby-Dooby new XB (Let's fuck 'em again Bill) console."

Would you like me to elucidate some more?? Thought not . . . ASSHOLES!!

BTW:

Sony can't drop the PS3 price cos they're still paying for the cock-up of their BD folly with their subsidies to all and sundry to get rid of HD-DVD.

As with the VHS vs. Betamax war of the 70's, the best format lost out but Sony made damned sure they weren't gonna lose out again!!

Paris? Cos you're all bigger suckers than she is!!

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Thus passes to C&W

MYOFB

Hahahahaha . . . Etc. . .

C & W take over Thus (THUS therefore taking over Demon . . . Geddit??) and you are all hoping they don't fuck up???!!!

Don't make me laugh!!

Two weeks ago Clowns & Wankers decided to change their DNS server IP's without telling anyone.

First I (and the company I sysadmin for) knew about it, was when there was 4000 emails queued up on the mailserver and all feckin' T'Internet connectivity is down!!

We are a BUSINESS customer FFS!! What chance do you DOMESTICS think you got??!!

NUFF SAID!!

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McKinnon loses extradition fight

MYOFB

Shame On All of US!!

FOR and AGAINST this extradtion!!

Yeah, it can be said that GM's lawyers turned his case, appeal and all other appeals, into a circus but FFS how can anyone criticise THEM and HIM for that, when you are doing so much WORSE than they could ever do??!!

This is NOT . . . I repeat . . NOT, a REALITY TV show. It is NOT any type of SHOW!! This is real life . . . someones REAL LIFE!! Not one that can be decided with the push of a voting button!!

Nor is it one that deserves to be placed in the same context as such a SH(AM)OW!!

Is GM guilty of the charges? YES!!

Is GM guilty of being innocent? NO!!

Is GM guilty??? I would like to say "The Jury is out on that one" . . . but obviously it isn't.

Quick . . . Flick to another channel . . .Get another update on who's NON REAL life you have just decided to discard!!

Do I think GM is guilty?? My answer . . .

. . . It doesn't really matter what I think as an individual . . . It doesn't really matter what YOU think . . . as an individual.

All that really matters is . . .

That you feel comfortable and at ease with the bunch of FUCKTARDS you voted for back in 1997 along with the FUCKTARDS you voted for back in 1979!!

Feeling comfortable and at ease then?? Well you shouldn't . . . Because you are the biggest FUCKTARDS out of all of them!!

I will sign off with this . . .

Depending on your beliefs, you are either gonna take an UP escalator to the Pearly Gates or a DOWN elevator to the fires of Hades!!

Me? . . . Probably the latter but only because the former is a load of Bollocks!!

Don't like my viewpoint?? Then BITE ME!!

So, anyway . . . We all get to the bottom of the Hades elevator, the doors open and we are confronted with . . .

"Right MOFO's . . . We aint got all day . . . get your sorry asses outta the lift and listen carefully as you do . . .

"All you CUNTS line up against the LEFT wall and all you BASTARDS line up against the RIGHT wall !!"

Everyone was all lined up and ready to go, when one dazed recruit came out of the elevator and tapped Old Nick on his shoulder and said . . .

"I am not a CUNT!!"

Old Nick's reply??!! . . . .

"Well get over there . . . YOU BASTARD !!!!!!"

Think about it . . . It could happen to you!!

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UK boffins roll out video periodic table

MYOFB
Flame

Periodic Table Memories . . . Ahhhh!!

I'm going back over 30 years but I recall our Physics teacher standing in for the Chemistry guy, due to the latters illness. Back then, the stand in didn't 'teach' bugger all about the subject, it was just a time filler until the bell sounded.

Anyway, to pass the time, Physics Teach brought out a jar of Potassium and went on to explain it's volatility, why it was kept in a glass jar full of oil, etc. . . . Us all being wide-eyed and curious, not to mention said Phys bod was fond of telling a tale or two, we talked him round to giving us a demo. Outside into the 'playground' we went.

To set the scene, it had been raining that morning and there were quite a few large puddles. So Phys opens the jar and cuts a piece of K off the size of a match head and chucks it into the puddle we had all gathered round . . . Phut-phut-fizz-fizz!!

GREAT-WOW-COR were the general expressions, do a bigger piece Phys!! And so he did.

The piece he chucked in was 3" long x half inch wide x quarter inch deep.

What happened?

Let's just say there was no more puddle as the resultant EXPLOSION blew it all over everyone watching, made us all deaf for the rest of the day and pretty much woke the dead!!

Ahh, schooldays . . . Don't you miss them??

PS I learnt the periodic table off by heart and still remember it to this day . . . Here's the first 20 . . .

H, He, Li, Be, B, C, N, O, F, Ne, Na, Mg, Al, Si, P, S, Cl, Ar, K, Ca and so on!!

And NO!!! I didn't Google or Wiki it . . . I truly do remember!!

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Info commissioner says comms database is leap too far

MYOFB

All Becomes Clear . . . Now!!

It's a riddle, hidden inside a conundrum, all wrapped up in an enigma!!

Well it is to most people. Because the majority of people just don't know WTF is happening and worse still, even if they had a clue, wouldn't give a FUCK!!!

Apologies for that assault, I feel I have demeaned myself in your eyes with my foul mouthed outrage. Hopefully you will read further.

To explain my outburst, I had just caught up with the news on El Reg and flipped 'channels' to the BBC when this caught my eye . . .

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7507627.stm

I was hopping mad for many a reason, not least of which . . . I didn't see THIS on the Reg FIRST!! Couldn't believe my eyes!!

Thankfully I know how to search for articles and found it here . . .

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/07/15/ico_annual_report/

There's quite a gap between 15:00 and 16:54 don't you agree 'El Reg' . . .You know, the time you reported on it (and buried it) and the time Auntie Beeb did (and didn't, hide it that is)???!!!

What beggars belief even more is you didn't even maul this extract . . .

"To ensure that the agencies can continue to use this valuable tool, the government is planning to bring forward the Communications Data Bill."

Yeah, they're bringing it forward alright because it will probably be the last thing they ever do, whilst in POWER.

Ooh! POWER, the word has them wetting their pants at every turn and the Libs & Tories too, even as they're deriding the 'Invasion of Privacy' someone's ass is getting kicked (and probably more)!!

Why? Because they didn't think that angle up for themselves!!

But they sure as a snowflake melts in hell WILL NOT bury the policy if they get in POWER themselves!!

Do you believe I am wrong? Then prove it otherwise!!

Postscript:

Our parents are Heroes/Heroines (mine in particular to me . . . as are yours) but you have to face the facts, YOU wouldn't go through or do the same things your parents did!!

Whatever the era they (your parents) lived in, you wouldn't go through the same trouble and strife, wars, rationing, irrational behaviour, protectionist state, etc . . .

Why are you doing it now??!!

Politics aside, my last comment is intended to unlock the. . .

"riddle, hidden inside a conundrum, all wrapped up in an enigma!!"

Neville Chamberlain: " I have in my hand a piece of paper . . . "

Todays' Leaders: " I have in my hand a USB stick, SD card, what-you may-call-it" . . . . . .

. . . . . To fuck you over once again just like "Ma-father-and 4-fathers-did" and all my offspring will do to you in the future!!

Just checked my Lotto tickets from the last six weeks . . . guess what?

I won and I'm outta here!! Bye-bye!!

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EMC CEO's ego has cost investors billions

MYOFB

Oh F*ck!!!

We're implementing VM ESX at the moment and this does not make for good reading!!

Having dipped deeply into VMWare's world and found it to be the most stable product for our requirements, we've gone the whole hog and shelled out a Sh!t load of money.

Wouldn't say we dived headlong into the deal because of Diane Greene or Mendel Rosenblum but not happy to see one of the driving forces behind VM being invited/shoved to 'pursue their interests elsewhere' and getting the feeling the remaining one will go the same way!!

The worst part of the bad news is that Paul Maritz is stepping into Diane's shoes. Whether you view that comment metaphorically or literally, the outcome is still the same, he can't and won't !!

Look, I could rattle on a lot more than I have already but you really need to go look for yourself, as well as see for yourself . . . Wiki is not a bad place to start from.

I will sign off with a couple of comments/questions:

1. Is there not a smell of fish in the air, at least a faint whiff? There is to me considering MS 'Hyper-V' is round the next corner or two!!

2. I believe the saying "Once O.N.I. always O.N.I." is appropriate and fitting in this case . . . or should that read . . . "Once MS always MS"??

You tell me.

PS . . . To Diane and Mendel, if you are "pursuing your own interests elsewhere" then you may want to consider cashing the majority of them in now, BEFORE MS's EX employee Paul M truly flushes them down the shitter!!

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Manchester's congestion charge: pay-to-leave

MYOFB
Flame

Like many, I knee-jerked but . . .

. . . I waited until I read all the posts here and read all the available info on the Manc' scheme.

My conclusion?

It has FAIL written all over it, given the scant info aired so far!! Please bear with me before nodding off and I will elucidate, thus.

Just to set the scene up for you all, there is to be an Outer and Inner 'ring' boundary.

1. Outer Ring: M60

2. Inner Ring: A57 (A57M) aka the Inner Ring Road

The proposed charge(s) will be triggered when:

1. A vehicle 'CROSSES' the Outer boundary and/or the Inner boundary between 7:00am & 9:30am INBOUND to Manchester.

2. A vehicle 'CROSSES' the Outer boundary and/or the Inner boundary between 4:00pm & 6:30pm OUTBOUND from Manchester.

There has been no mention of being charged for USING the M60 (Outer Ring road) or the A57/A57M/Inner Ring road.

Technically, if you enter the M60 at, let's say The Snipe slip road, travel through Stockport (Pyramid, etc . . .) and exit at the A34/M56/M62 et al, then you haven't 'CROSSED' the Outer Boundary . . . Therefore, NO CHARGE!!

But . . .

If you enter the M60 at any entry point that takes you in an Anti-Clockwise direction, then it doesn't matter which Junction/Slip road you EXIT from . . . You WILL be charged (during the proposed charging hours) because you will always be deemed to have 'CROSSED' the Outer Boundary!!

The same scenario would, TECHNICALLY, apply to the Inner Ring road.

Ok, ok, OKAY!! I've heard your screams of clockwise/anti-clockwise use of the Outer or Inner ring roads will be charged for!!

I agree, there's no way that 'OPPORTUNITY' will be allowed to slip by and neither will the one I will let you in on now . . .

A few years ago, I used to live in Delta Road, Audenshaw. Err, What??!!

Go look it up on Google Maps or whatever but take notice of it's proximity to the M60 and in particular to the Snipe Retail Park.

Why? Let me tell you why!!

Imagine that I have taken a couple of (week)days of annual leave/holidays to do some work on my home (in Delta Road) and decided I would nip over to B & Q at the Snipe, bright and early (they open at 7:00am).

I know what I want/need for the job in mind and have to drive over there in my car because I need it to load all the stuff I'm going to buy.

DOH!!

I forgot about the Manc' C-Charge!! It's just cost me 2 quid extra because I CROSSED the M60 boundary (didn't travel along it, just crossed it).

I don't live at Delta Road anymore but would still incur the Manc' C-Charge going to B & Q at The Snipe and any other B & Q store local to where I live now.

Like many of you, my thoughts and experience of public transport are one and the same.

But going beyond that, if public transport could take me from my home to B & Q (or wherever) and back again (however long it takes), with a boot load of stuff I bought there . . . then I would use it (public transport).

The reality is, public transport can't do that (never has and never will) but those of us who use our vehicles for such purposes, will be villified by those who do not have that 'luxury'.

More pertinently, we will be villified by the 'Powers That Be' in every way possible . . . and that stands for everyone . . . with or without a car!!

BTW . . .

The Manc' C-Charge(s) amount to the same as Londons (£5) . . .

The difference is L's C-C is a day rate charge, regardless of how many times you enter or leave during charging times!!

The Flame . . .

Cos if you're really interested or worried about the Manc' C-C then flame me . . .

Otherwise . . .

Fuck Off wasting my time!!!!

PS Still has FAIL written all over it !!

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The economy: A big Arab did it and ran away, claims PM

MYOFB

It's All a Matter of Personal Economics . . .

. . . For the Masses that is!

I've read all the posts on this topic (59 when I started reading and writing) and there are merits and de-merits (and humour) to be found in all of them . . . including this one!!

Just to set the tempo . . .

1. I have lived within walking distance of where I work/have worked.

2. I have lived within cycling distance of where I work/have worked.

3. I have lived within public transport distance of where I work/have worked.

4. I have lived within personal car distance of where I work/have worked.

I can hear the loud cry from you as I write . . . "Haven't we all!!"

Yes, we all have but re-read the title of this post . . . and read on!!

Where I used to work, it didn't make a difference what 'mode' of transport I utilised. Whichever I chose to use would take the same length of time and 'cost' either in time or money.

Where I work now is 4 times the distance as where I used to work but I cannot walk or cycle there because 28 miles is way beyond me (and many others reading this) via that mode of transportation.

So, like many of you, I am left with the option of using public transport or my personal car.

I have commuted to work and back by public transport on many occasions, most recently today.

I truly don't mind having to go out an hour earlier in the morning and arrive home an hour and a half later in the evening, using public transport . . .

. . . BUT . . .

It's All a Matter of Personal Economics . . . I can't afford the cost of doing so.

It costs twice as much in monetary terms (which I don't have) and more than twice as much in time (which I am prepared to give) to do so.

As 'Mike VandeVelde' made clear in his earlier post . . . Please read it again . . .

. . . In essence, we all have to cut our cloth according to our means, and then some (with which I agree) but it really sticks in all our throats when we read about the "John Lewis" list!!

I apologise if that sounds political, I didn't want to get into politics but as I have arrived at that juncture, it may well be in all our interests to decide . . .

. . .

1. "We feel our country is best served by . . ."

2. "In the interests of national security . . . "

3. "WoMD have been found (er, will be found some time soon) . . .

4. Add your own comment . . . if you can be arsed!!

Personally, I think we can best serve our country, in the not too distant future, by demanding our country be run by a coalition of the three polictical parties we have . . .

The caveat being . . . "You can squabble between yourselves as much as you want BUT you will be ultimately be responsible and answerable to . . .

US, the 'Common People'!!

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Tory proposes street-legal Segway legalisation

MYOFB
Paris Hilton

Remember the C5??!!

How the hell the C5 was made "road legal" is anyone's guess but it's probably a good thing it never took off en masse because had it done so, then there would have been carnage wreaked on anyone using it.

Now enter the Segway and the same could be said of it . . . except,

1. The C5 could trundle along at 15mph, the Segway gets up to 12.5mph. What's 2.5mph between friends?? Nothing!!

2. Riding along a street full of parked cars was utter lunacy in a C5 because if a 'real' car driver entered from a side street then the chances were high they wouldn't be able to see the damn thing. 15mph is fast enough to be a deadly problem. At least on a Segway you're stood up and in all but a couple of scenarios, a Segway driver would be seen, as they would be visible above the parked cars, being in a vertical orientation as opposed to the semi-prone scrunched up position taken by a C5 driver.

It goes without saying, the 17 years between the C5 and the Segway have seen a very large increase in road traffic but as far as I'm aware, owners of a C5 can still get out and about on the road in it.

Yet owners of a Segway (which I personally consider to be a safer 'vehicle') cannot.

Given a choice between riding/driving a C5 or a Segway in 1985 traffic, 2001 traffic or 2008 traffic . . . Give me the Segway everytime!!

I'm not a C5 or Segway owner, shareholder, opponent or proponent just someone who can see the difference between the two.

/Paris . . . Cos she doesn't mind being in a 'semi-prone scrunched up position' as long as she can make it to a 'vertical orientation' afterwards!!

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Researchers dig into x86 chips for stealthier rootkits

MYOFB
Coat

@ duncan parkertron . . . First !!

If "are you on crack" is your best response to my post, I suspect the opposite is more likely the truth . . .

"Hey man, I can't get past what I'm smoking to . . . Hey man you must be doing the same thing!" . . . NOT!!

Would rather you rip my post to pieces with a more reasoned response than what you posted . . . Go on, you know it makes sense.

@AC

"Ever thought that PC world in the UK is different to the highly respected industry rag in the rest of the world? try pcworld.com not pcworld.co.uk!"

Don't patronise me on the difference, I know it already and did at the time of my post!

What's puzzling me for the moment is, are you saying you're not from the UK?

If that's the case then don't 'patroniZe' me . . . if you are from Blighty then I spelt it correctly the first time around!!

To both of you . . .

1. Neither of you responded in any way whatsoever regarding my comment on 'reasonable disclosure ethics'! Why?

2. I was going to say, "I'm a seasoned professional" or "I'm the brightest and most capable new kid on the block" but neither comment fits the bill really . . . I either sound too old and past it or too young to know what is what!!

What I will say, because I obviously like the sound of my own voice, is what's your stance on the Phorm issue??!!

Mine went something like this . . . .

@ Jimbo Gunn

By MYOFBPosted Wednesday 9th April 2008 21:49 GMT

1.) Who you are. (I thought I knew already, thanks for the offer)

2.) The town you live in. (My village is a town?!)

3.) The type or pron you like. (There are different kinds?)

4.) Which banks you use. (I must be poor, I've only got one)

5.) The newspapers you read and your political persuasion. (Dyslexia is a bitch!! Isn't that a euphemism for an MP getting into his/hers secretary's knickers/underpants?)

6.) Your religious interests, if any. (I was under the impression that 'Religious Interests' and 'Political Persuasions' are one and the same thing. Please correct me if I am wrong. Or was that a euphemistic statement you made?)

7.) The names of your best online friends. (Please tell, I haven't any in the real world!!)

8.) Your best friends partners names. (My best friend has a Wife . . . you Sinner!)

9.) If you have any pets. (That's too easy, I have about 6 billion and they all live at the top of the food chain, apart from you)

10.) Everything you buy online. (Do you work for Phorm?!)

11.) Your employer. (That would be ME!!)

12.) Your next employer. (That would be BEELZEBUB!!)

13.) Your proficiany in spelling. (Better than your proficiency in spelling!)

14.) The state of your physical and mental health. (Deteriorating by the second due to my urge to categorise you in the Phuckwit Department)

15.) If you're over weight. (You mean 'Overweight', correct?!! I am lighter by at least one space bar you obese git and then some!!)

16.) What your foot size is. (12 inches . . . but my shoe size is a broad fit 9 or a medium 10 but that depends on the brand)

I apologise if I come across as being derogatory of your post but I am more interested in what you can tell me, from my last 'month's web browsing history' about my alien abduction experience, the voices that talk to me in my head, Area 51 and the Roswell Incident.

If you can shed some light on any of them, then you will have convinced me of 2 things . . .

1. I'm still on the planet called Earth . . . and

2. You are not!!!

Thank you for taking time to complete our survey . . . we will send you a copy of the results as soon as they become available.

/ Mine's the one with the Anonymous Clown on the back and pockets full of Crack!!

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MYOFB
Coat

"Sparks told PC World"

PC World . . . PC Feckin WORLD !!!!!

FFS, I thought you were writing a 'serious' article until that came up!!

If these guys turn up at Blackhat with that on their CV then they will probably be laughed out of the place all the way back under the rock they thought was wise to crawl out from under!!

BUT . . .

If they have got something, WTF happened to 'responsible disclosure' ethics?

/Sorry, I forgot, they never existed and even less so at Blackhat.

If you zoom in close, mine's the one that says . . . GFY!!

PS: Begins with 'Go' . . . ends with 'Yourself' . . . I'm sure you can all figure out the middle.

TTFN While I go find someone who can repair my 12 inch long piece of dowel, which is painted black and is finished off with a couple of white ends but unfortunately has been snapped.

HUZZAR!!

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Nintendo says no to Wii price cuts

MYOFB
Thumb Up

Ninty Know The Marketplace Well Enough!!

They should do . . . they've been around in the console biz long enough to know how and where to pitch their wares!!

Since games consoles first hit the streets, I have played on them . . . not mine but my friends. Found them ok but not compelling enough to shell out whatever they cost. Reason? I could sit on my lard in front of a telly anytime I wanted to!!

So, up until the Wii was released, I have never owned a console and had no desire to own one . . . period!!

Now . . . well you've guessed it already . . . I own a Wii, 4 Wiimotes, 2 Nunchucks, a Wii Zapper and as of last Friday, Wii Fit and the amazing Wii Board!!

What does all that mean? Well it means . . .

1. Ninty have me as a consumer of their product purely as a result of the innovation(s) of the Wii brand.

2. Ninty have priced the Wii at the right level from the start that covers all the costs of their R & D expenditure, manufacturing, marketing, etc . . and they make a profit, as should be the way in business.

3. Ninty, quite rightly, have said they will not drop their prices for the Wii (and DS). Why should they, when they have got a winner at the pricepoints they already offer?

I have never derided the merits of consoles like the NES/SNES et al, Mega Drive or more lately the PS series and XBox/360. None of them were 'ME' but the Wii is.

On the other hand, I have heard and read many derisory comments about the Wii system . . . 'Looks like Noddy in Toytown', 'Painting by Numbers', etc, etc . . . but I guess your viewpoint is how you perceive what is FUN!!

The Wii is about people aged from 3 to 53/63/73, whatever age playing on a console, together and having FUN.

PS and XBox is about people in a narrower age band playing a console together and having FUN.

No comprenez vous?

Here's the deal . . . (This is true).

Family of Mum, Dad and 2 Daughters get PS3 and Wii systems at Xmas last year. Facts:

1. 99% of the time, Dad plays PS3 alone, not because he wants to, or the PS3 is 'off limits' to everyone but himself, it's just that the FUN games on the PS3 they have got, pale in comparison to the ones on the Wii.

2. In contrast, when the Wii is on, they all get involved, have a laugh and try harder next time. Friends and family have FUN TOGETHER & come back for more.

3. Since Xmas, Dad has played on the Wii more times than on the PS3.

The Family I write about above is . . .

My Daughter, Son-in-Law and my Granddaughters and just for the record . . .

. . . I bought both the PS3 and Wii systems for them last Xmas.

Make what you will of what I have written, as is your choice and right but what I really want to know is . . .

. . . How the HECK are Ninty gonna surpass the Wii Board??!!

PS . . .

'Thumbs Up' because there isn't an Icon that truly reflects my feelings!!

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