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19 posts • joined 13 Aug 2007

Clone dog mistress denies she is 'sex in chains' McKinney

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Stop

Extradite from the US?

The chances of extraditing a US citizen from the USA is pretty small. That she is blond, and a ex-beauty queen, makes those small odds to pretty well infinitesimal.

I'd hazard that the UK won't even bother to ask the US for her.

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Devil dog laughs in the face of Taser

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Flame

Tasers non-lethal?

Tasers non-lethal? Give me a break!

Poor doggy, it was only doing what it was trained to do.

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Slashdot website down

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Paris Hilton

Hot grits

1) Maybe Natalie Portman poured some hot grits on their beowulf cluster and they're now naked and petrified.

2) ???

3) Profit!

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Home Secretary in ID card gaffe

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Hacked before it gets used

This database will be such a valuable target, and being run by such utter twonks, that it is an easy one to predict it will be cracked before it even gets off the starting blocks.

Remember you read it here first.

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Mobe snap murderers face justice

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Alien

Re: Errrr....

How else do you think a modern police force were going to catch them, except with a GATSO?

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YouTube biker clocked at 189mph

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Alien

The outcome of the police investigation should be amusing ...

The outcome of the Police investigation should be amusing, as that guy rides just like someone who's been through the Police motorcycle training scheme.

The roads could really do with a few more people who can drive that well.

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Apple guns Xserve and Mac Pro to 11

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Thumb Up

re: Price of add-ons

Yes, indeed there is at least one specialist doing 32GB in the required matched pairs for the MacPro what with that plus 4TB of disk it's cheaper than a Mac Pro with 16GB and piddly disk 8-)

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German air passenger quaffs litre of vodka

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Go

Class

Who says Germans don't have a sense of humour!

I for one, would ask that you get hold of his address so we can all send him a Xmas gift.

He deserves it for one of the best laughs this year.

Incidentally I think these security regulations are just so much Emmanuel Goldstein.

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HMRC offers £20k reward for ID goldmine CDs

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Alien

20k

Whoever ends up with them disks could make more than £20k, every day, easy.

Planks. Utter planks. Utter clueless planks.

Yet, I suppose offering some reward looks good to the sheeple who vote for them. Baaaa.

I bet they set up a committee to decide on how big a reward to offer: big enough to look serious, but not so big as to cause a stampede to every government waste disposal site. I then go on to posit that the cost of supposed committee meetings is greater than the reward they're offering.

Yet, this reward is still less than the quoted cost of removing the data as originally requested by the NAO.

Planks.

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Running queries on the HMRC database fiasco

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Alert

Encryption?!

As someone who knows a little more than nothing about encryption I'd like to point out that even if they'd encrypted these disks you should still have been worried.

This data is going to have significant value for many years. In fact it will only start to make good money for the bad guys in about 3 years, and then onwards for a lifetime, what's that, maybe another 80 years more. If bad guys have got them they'll probably sit on them for a good few years before even starting to use them.

Cryptography is always advancing, and so is the speed of machines. Encryption systems in use today will be broken eventually, they always are. These disks have a significant value, and will continue to do so for a long time. It would be worth the time and money for the bad guys to break the scheme in use. (I now look forward to myriads of posts about how hard it is to crack the current encryption schemes. Yes, currently it is hard, but next year it will be easier, and in ten years: probably trivial.) Considering the governments wherewithal on security, I doubt they would have encrypted it properly anyway, even if they'd tried.

The issue is not the use of CDs, the posting in the mail, or the lack of encryption, the issues are these lunatics thought it OK to send a large quantity of that quality of data about, as it exhibits a monstrous level of cluelessness, and that people so cavalier are even allowed through the gates, never mind given positions of authority.

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How HMRC gave away the UK's national identity

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Alien

@ Nick: Don't Panic?

It may be true that you are not in receipt of child benefits, but I would hazard that your mother was.

This isn't just the current data, it's all the data they have!

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Vodafone billing woes continue

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Salvador Dali is art!

Hang on a minute, Salvador Dali's work is Art! Every telco billing system I've seen, and I've seen lots, are the product of some sales droids enthusiasm to get their grubby mits on as much of your money as possible by means of confusion marketing, combined with their complete inability to notify the billing department of what they're up to until customers start phoning up complaining about the bill. In fact the confusion is usually so extreme that no one really knows what the bill is, and it generally falls to some sort of agreement or acquiescence on the part of the consumer as to how much you pay, and then the billing system is quickly written using staff of dubious ability. Then you get the next wave of complaints on these bills, and they get some slightly more experienced staff to try and sort out the new mess.

Eventually they end up with loads of highly experienced contractors, who spend their time tinkering with the systems in an effort to minimise the number of customer complaints, and still maximise the take for the telco. Although it is hardly ever described in that fashion.

Then, every so often, some management type decides they're going to save loads of money by unifying their billing system and getting rid of all the contractors. Sounds and looks great on the PowerPoint slides. Unfortunately the management droid has to look up what POTS means by use of Google, so their understanding of the situation is likewise vast, not! So they get a new system, written by a bunch of part-time college students, some of who do actually study IT, so it does at least compile..

Then they get contractors in to sort out this next mess.

And so it goes.

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Pirate Bay sues media giants for 'sabotage'

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Any evidence is admittable under Swedish Law.

Any evidence is admittable under Swedish Law. In fact the only stipulation about evidence is that is should be relevant, but that is often ignored.

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Top judge: put everyone in UK on the DNA database

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Worryingly this is a top judge

It is quite worrisome that someone can reach such dizzy heights as to be a top appeal judge in England, and yet apparently not have a clue about what it means to be British.

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National Guardsman suspended over personal website

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Journo in misrepresentation shocka

So a journalist misrepresents someones comments and makes a news story out of it. Same old same old.

Was a really good website, very funny.

Sad that the more and more of this that happens, the more and more the web becomes this homogeneous 'safe place' and you get the feeling like walking around the supermarket after it has driven all the corner shops and boutiques out of business.

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Pirated Simpsons movie traced to phone

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Who makes the money from a cinema goer in the UK?

I think you'd be un-surprised to know it is local and central government in the form of taxes, licenses and other such crud, something like 89%

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Running biometric footware

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Dune

There's something like this in Dune. Young Paul Atreides gets told off for using his latent mentat powers to discern that the footsteps in the corridor are not faked.

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VAT fraudsters 'laughing all the way to their offshore tax haven'

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The solution is simple

Decriminalize carousel fraud: if it's not a crime then there are no criminals!

Can't see how that can be considered dafter than having trader-to-trader VAT.

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Investigator ridicules UK visa site

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Why is this a surprise?

From the original specification this 'debacle' appears to have been the intended outcome.

Then they waste a load of money on a report. Explaining what went 'wrong'.

Yet, nothing did go wrong because the outcome was what was intended from the outset.

IIRC, they did a similar thing to the Doctors: set up a website, specify that security should be more than lax, gather loads of personal information, wait for the identity thieves to harvest as much as possible, and then shut the stable door. If the outcry is loud enough commission a report, or in extremis put up some doe-eyed PR bunny to say what a terrible thing has happened and it's all the contractors fault.

What I find annoying is that these reports never put this in very large type on the front page. In effect these reports are not just throwing good money after bad, but actually part of the 'modus operandi'.

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