* Posts by Mike Moyle

1069 posts • joined 8 Feb 2007

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Hooves in spaaace: Goat Simulator goes galactic

Mike Moyle
Coat

For anyone still unclear, there's a documentary film by Paul VerHooven that explains it all.

... sorry.

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Thai bloke battles jumbo python in toilet todger thriller

Mike Moyle

Re: Headline revamp

Thai Man Snakes Out Toilet the Hard Way.

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'Acts of war in a combat zone are not covered by your laptop warranty'

Mike Moyle

Re: Enjoyable read but...

Once you finally get through the touchpad options maze and get a live person on the line, YOU DON'T HANG UP -- even under sustained enemy fire.

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A UK digital driving licence: What could possibly go wrong?

Mike Moyle

"Sorry, Officer... I can't show you my license because I'm using my phone to record this traffic stop!"

Hilarity ensues.

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Aussie wedges spam javelin in ring spanner

Mike Moyle
Coat

Did he make the classic mistake of trying to use a metric wrench on an imperial head? 'Cause that'll do it every time!

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Hey, YouTube: Pay your 'workers' properly and get with the times

Mike Moyle

“The rising flow of royalties that should be nurturing artists and labels has slowed to a trickle..."

What he was THINKING, I'm sure...

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Stop resetting your passwords, says UK govt's spy network

Mike Moyle

Requisite "The Princess Bride" reference:

"It is inconceivable that..."

"I do not think that word means what you think it means."

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'Toxic' WIPO catches flak as US congressmen call for Gurry's head

Mike Moyle

Whistleblowers against "them" = GOOD!

Whistleblowers against "us" = BAD!

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Linux greybeards release beta of systemd-free Debian fork

Mike Moyle

Re: Init freedom

...Well, innit?

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E-cigarettes help save lives, says Royal College of Physicians

Mike Moyle

"E-cigarettes help save lives, says Royal College of Physicians"

It's true. Every time that I started smoking again, it was because my aggravation level had gone into LEO and my options had narrowed to: A - Have a cigarette, or; B - Beat one of my co-workers to death for being an idiot/tool. A puff or two on an e-cig keeps me from buying a pack of cancerettes (which I *WILL* smoke all of, even after the immediate impetus is removed), and then another, and another(..) and allows my co-workers all to go home at the end of the day with their internal integuments intact.

Counting just them, that's some thirty lives that have been saved on a regular basis by e-cigs!

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America edges closer to get-a-proper-warrant-to-read-my-email law

Mike Moyle

"... the unanimous vote will put extra pressure on the upper chamber to pull its finger out and get the legislation enacted."

It would be lovely if SOMETHING could!

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Redback sinks fangs into Oz builder's todger

Mike Moyle

Re: IT?

Because, fortunately, it wasn't

"Them!

"THEM!!!"

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The web is DOOM'd: Average page now as big as id's DOS classic

Mike Moyle

Re: Lazy Devs

"Now though all web devs are trying to out do each other by having the flashiest sites///"

As a print designer, I hear you brother! I have long said that there are two types of designers: those who design to get information to the end-users and those who design to impress other designers. The examples that I always used were Popular Mechanics magazine was an example of the former and Wired as the latter.

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Sysadmin given Licence To Perve shows why you always get it in writing

Mike Moyle

Re: Surely he could have found a desktop

"I can't help thinking that the test plan document listing all the websites, searches, and language filters could provide entertaining (and possibly educational) reading..."

Back in the early '70s, Massachusetts and the city of Boston were trying to shut down Boston's "Combat Zone" adult entertainment district. Part of that task was proving that various shops were, in fact, selling obscene materials to the public. For any trial, the courts have to post a public notice announcing that on such-and-such a date, in such-and-such a court, so-and-so will be tried for this-and-that and telling anyone who might have an interest in such a legal action to contact the court or appear at the time and place specified. I happened to be bored and reading the classified ads in the Boston Globe and saw -- to paraphrase Tom Lehrer -- the juiciest, spiciest, raciest legal notice that it has ever been my pleasure to read. Because, you see, in order to prove that the vendor was selling obscene materials, they had to list -- without elisions of any sort -- the TITLES of every book, magazine, 8mm loop, etc., that they were going to present as evidence. These ads are always in something like 6 or 7 point type and my recollection is that this particular ad had to be four column-inches long, at least! I don't know who submitted that legal notice or who composed the type for it, but they did me a POWER of good, I can tell you that!

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FBI boss: We paid at least $1.2m to crack the San Bernardino iPhone

Mike Moyle

"We paid at least $1.2m to crack the San Bernardino iPhone."

$12.95 for the crack, $1,199,987.05 for the lawyers.

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Dutch PGP-encrypted comms network ‘abused by crooks’ is busted

Mike Moyle

Highways are abused by criminals, too.

...and in cars that are OPAQUE to law enforcement. Shut 'em all down!!

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Are bearded blokes more sexist?

Mike Moyle

Indeed -- A sufficiently bushy beard can hide a multitude of chins.

(Accept the word of one who knows.)

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This headline will, in part, cost pepper-spraying University of California, Davis $175k

Mike Moyle

Re: That reminds me...

I was thinking that maybe she could do a fund-raiser for the school and the admin. Maybe get some other celebs who have had feuds with social media and do a group fun-raiser... Call it "(S)kool Aid" or something/

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Mike Moyle

"The cop doing the spraying repeatedly told the students that they could either let the cops go or be sprayed."

If so, then perhaps he could have been better justified if he had acted against the ones standing and blocking their exit instead of the ones who were sitting down and in custody. This strikes me as akin to the old National Lampoon cover: "Buy this magazine or we'll shoot this dog." Just a thought...

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Flying Spaghetti Monster is not God, rules mortal judge

Mike Moyle

"A prisoner could just as easily read the works of Vonnegut or Heinlein and claim it as his holy book, and demand accommodation of Bokononism or the Church of All Worlds.”

And your point, Your Honor...?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_All_Worlds

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Mike Moyle

Re: This is the kind of nonsense

@ Kurt Meyer: I'm from Massachusetts -- around these parts we learn to look both ways before crossing a one-way street but I've lived places (New York, Los Angeles) where this is, apparently, considered abnormal. "Common sense" varies from place to place.

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Texas Attorney General charged in 32-bit 'eco-friendly server scam'

Mike Moyle

Re: God doesn't want me to take your money

@ Voyna i Mor:

Sure it is: "I believe this will help me get your money."

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Britain is sending a huge nuclear waste shipment to America. Why?

Mike Moyle

Re: Why not send it into space...

Store it in a dump on the moon. What's the worst that could happen?

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Commentard April Fool decries Blighty's dodecaquid

Mike Moyle

The brilliance comes when someone can be skeptical because it's April Fools' Day and can STILL get it wrong!

That's master work, right there.

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Mike Moyle

Re: Harsh indeed...

I think that there's an upside and a downside to your argument.

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Blighty starts pumping out 12-sided quids

Mike Moyle

Re: iSIS

"Could the coins, rather than being just a lump of metal, actually contain some kind of chip?"

They've chipped Her Maj? My, your Royals certainly don't get the respect they used to!

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Flying Scotsman attacked by drone

Mike Moyle

"What if it had gone through the window?"

Then someone on the train would now have a free drone!

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German lodges todger in 13 steel rings

Mike Moyle

Re: Die Welt

No, no... It's because the whole situation is likely to leave Die Welt on the affected area.

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Austrian mayor spunks €40k on virgin-eating dragon

Mike Moyle

Re: Either stupidity or corruption

Semi-obligatory "The Oatmeal" reference:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/exposure

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Mike Moyle

Re: Either stupidity or corruption

This suggestion is the functional equivalent of: "You work with computers, yeah...? Mine's not working. If you can fix it, there's a fiver in it for you!"

Both say "I need what (I think) you do, but I don't value it enough to actually pay you what your time and expertise is worth."

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Home Ebola testing with a Tricorder? There's an app for that

Mike Moyle

Frugal.

Bugle.

Arugul(a). ;-P

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Carolina cop cuffed for 'carjacking'

Mike Moyle

I think that, in this case, the problem was with the short arm of the law.

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The paperless office? Don’t talk sheet

Mike Moyle

Re: Number 11

It's true -- the smell of good paper and ink can be intoxicating, as can the feel of it.

If it is possible for a business card to be sexy, then the sexiest that I ever was handed was from a Levi Strauss company VP. It was a pale blue-gray and was of the most sensually velvety texture. He handed it to me and I just went "Oh... my..." and stood there for a moment, holding it in both hands, rubbing it between thumbs and index fingers. It turns out that they contracted with a paper mill to custom-make their business card stock from 100% cotton bluejean trimmings/waste from the manufacturing process. Sublime!

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Depressed? Desperate for a ciggie? Blame the Neanderthals

Mike Moyle

@ x 7

"why did the neanderthals die out? Probably just back luck."

Dying for a cig and all the tobacco was on a different continent.

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Microsoft quits giving us the silent treatment on Windows 10 updates

Mike Moyle

Re: I loath what Microsoft are doing

@AC

No idea, etc., etc., so have an etc., etc.

Carry on!

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Firing a water rocket to 1km? Piece of cake

Mike Moyle

Using a lower acceleration means that you're wasting impulse lifting the remaining mass of your fuel for a longer time, hence you'll get a lower altitude. Blasting it out all at once means that more of that potential energy stored as pressure is used to push the vehicle alone, getting you to a higher altitude.

As long as you're not worried about the effects of too-rapid acceleration on fragile payloads (Fleshy water-bags like passengers, say) you're best off using as much of your launch fuel as possible to accelerate you as quickly as possible as early as possible in your flight.

Note: I am not a rocket scientist.

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AI no longer needs to fake it. Just don't try talking to your robots

Mike Moyle
Facepalm

I'm scared.

1 -- As AI technology advances, more functions in society will be amenable to being performed by machines.

2 -- If history is anything to go by (vis. publishing, multimedia) the porn industry is an early adopter of new technology.

3 -- ...damn...

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Safari iOS crashing: Suggestions snafu KOs the Apple masses

Mike Moyle

Not happening on my Macs nor 'Pad, all of which are up to date.

Probably too soon to have a handle on (even rough) percentages of affected systems...?

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Berlin takes down ‘for sale’ sign over top Nazi’s love nest

Mike Moyle

The iron bar on the door was just a backup -- you didn't break any of the lines in that weird design on the floor, did you?

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Uber driver 'pulls handgun' on passenger

Mike Moyle

Re: Interesting

Both passenger and driver were out of the car. Seems to me that the driver only felt himself in danger because he didn't choose to close and lock the back door then get back in and drive away.

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Flock of sheep ends NZ high-speed car chase

Mike Moyle

Did the driver exclaim...

"We're flocked, mates!"?

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GCHQ spies quashed this phone encryption because it was too good against snoopers

Mike Moyle

So, if MIKEY-IBAKE was too secure, would this mean that their new, preferred version should be referred to as MIKEY-HALF_BAKED?

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Trump's new thought bubble: Make Apple manufacture in the USA

Mike Moyle

TheRump's plan to "make America great again"...

"One idea to do so is a mooted 35 per cent tax on companies that choose to manufacture offshore."

And would this be including the makers of the made-in-China Donald J. Trump men's clothing line...?

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Activist investors want tepid Yahoo! to reboot crashed Marissa Mayer

Mike Moyle

Typical vulture* capitalists...

"The company must 'deeply reduce unnecessary costs', flog its unprofitable businesses, and overhaul its incentives and compensation programs, it said."

i.e.: "Screw the employees; WE'RE the only ones who should get paid!"

* No offense intended to Vultures, Central or otherwise!

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Brit cuffed for Kyrgyz 'horse penis' sausage quip

Mike Moyle
Coat

Mr. McFeat thought that he...

...Spotted Dick.

... sorry...

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DEAD MAN'S SOCKS and other delightful gifts from clients

Mike Moyle

Re: The gift that keeps on giving...

Damn! You probably could have made your fortune opening up a sideline hat business with that!

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JD Wetherspoon: A 'hacker' nicks 650,000 pub-goers' data

Mike Moyle

Hacking a pub...

Dear GOD...! Is NOTHING sacred?!!?

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WDC's shingle-free stocking filler: A 10TB helium disk drive

Mike Moyle

Re: @AC... Will we see 10TB desktop drives? Nope.

More importantly, if you put your music library on a helium-filled drive the singers' voices get all high-pitched chipmunk-y sounding.

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Ex-IT staff claim Disney fired them then gave their jobs H1-B peeps

Mike Moyle

Companies who (...) run fun parks are not going to be places for real IT wizards to shine.

Sure, if you're talking about some guy in a greasy mac running the Wonderwheel, you're right. But do you have any idea how many (and, simply, HOW) computers are used @ Disney? "Haunted Mansion", as a simple example, has a computer-controlled "drop" that is randomized for start time in the narration, amount of shake, duration, etc., so that it's impossible for someone who has ridden before to anticipate. Also, at least a part of Disney Animation -- which is largely CG -- used to be in Florida, and I assume that it still is. So you're talking rendering, storing, and accessing some pretty big data files. Their data center is critical to Disney's operations.

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Tech firms fight anti-encryption demands after Paris murders

Mike Moyle

Re: Join up your thinking

FWIW, Senator Feinstein has a 0% rating from the National Rifle Association.

There are plenty of other things that Feinstein is guilty of -- and I've been annoyed by her since I was living in exile in California in the late '80s -- but being a gun supporter is TOTALLY not one of them.

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