* Posts by Ian Emery

1251 posts • joined 9 Aug 2007

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DVLA misses out on £400m in tax after scrapping paper discs

Ian Emery
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Re: MOT

Had this more than once over the last 10 years, to the point where my MOT is now due in June instead of January.

I also managed to dive without insurance for 7 months; the insurance broker failed to take note of a change of address, sent a letter to the old address, didnt get a reply, so sent a letter cancelling the policy TO THE OLD ADDRESS.

I only found out when I went to make a claim.

Stupid thing was, when I finally got hold of the original letter, it said I DIDNT NEED TO REPLY!!!

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Ian Emery
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Re: This should be one of the easiest taxes to collect ...

" I had a pretty Chinese teenager decide she was going to walk out onto a light controlled crossing when it was my right of way and if I hadn't been watching her going to cross she'd have been mashed"

That wasnt her being an idiot, that is how they cross the road in China, you walk out slowly and let the traffic flow around you, while watching for any vehicle that looks like it might not.

When not even the buses stop at a red light, that is the only way to get from one side of the road to the other.

(Hence the 300,000+ road deaths per year)

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Ian Emery
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Coat

Re: This should be one of the easiest taxes to collect ...

"If you can't see a cyclist or pedestrian because they're wearing black on a bike in pitch black on a single track country road in the middle of nowhere,"

Had this several times on a narrow, twisty lane near where I was working, 2am on a call out and a bike comes around the corner with no lights on, see's me and dives into the ditch.

Mind you, at 20MPH, I had a good chance of stopping, my really closest miss was on a dual carriageway near midnight; while overtaking a slower car, I came over the brow of a hill at ~ 70mph - and found a guy in a mobility scooter in the middle of the outside lane, weaving his way home from the pub.

To this day, I dont know how I missed him.

Not a coat, but newly browned trousers

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UK IT consultant subject to insane sex ban order mounts legal challenge

Ian Emery
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Re: So if some girl (or wimminz) doesn't like you

I think you mean "prosecuted", but I will put it down to auto-complete.

I have been in this situation, a woman made accusations against me on three occasions - horrific accusations of sustained rape of a pre school child.

There was no physical evidence, the woman made the same accusation, but kept changing the date and venue, and I wasnt there anyway - they still threw me in a cell and gutted my house; thank god it was before this new "Guilty even if proven innocent" rule was introduced.

Not one thing has been done to her, she is still fostering children for the local County Council, who seemingly have no official knowledge of her accusations, despite the fact that the child was in her foster care and it should have been reported to them.

And she still smirks at me when she sees me, knowing the hell she put me through; it takes all my self control not to punch her in the face.

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CERN staff conduct 'human sacrifice' at supercollider site

Ian Emery
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strangelets

Last week, when I wrote tomorrows letter about todays article, I had no idea that Christmas 2012 was going to be so mild.

Come on, Playmobil, or it never happened.

(Yes, I know, but the tradition must survive)

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LinkedIn sues 100 information scrapers after technical safeguard fail

Ian Emery
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Re: I dont have a Linkedin account

This could be it, I did originally contact this guy for some building work. (he had ripped off a genuine builders "RatemyBuilder" profile).

He took the deposit, then made excuses not to turn up and do the job for nearly 6 weeks after the quoted start date, at which point I named a few unsavoury characters I knew, and got the money back.

Remarkably, the cheque didnt bounce (REALLY unsavoury characters).

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Ian Emery
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Facepalm

I dont have a Linkedin account

Yet they still managed to send me a link request last week - from a known local fraudster!!!

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We're going to bring an asteroid fragment into Lunar orbit

Ian Emery
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Paris Hilton

We need Paris

I hear she is good at inserting oddly shaped things into strange places.

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Oh dear, Xiaomi: '$46bn' winner's phone shipments tumble 38%

Ian Emery
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The problem is the ex Samsung guy at the top.

He has ditched everything that we customers bought Xiaomi for, in favour of gimmicks and trendy looks.

Gone (for the last two generations of the HongMi Note), are the microSD card slot and the removable battery; and in comes, thinner cases, thumb print scanners and much higher prices.

Put these back in NEXT years model, along with a better camera & lens - and I will think about buying it.

I know it is not just me, there has been a lot of grumbling in the Mi forums.

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Bees bring down US stealth fighter

Ian Emery
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Joke

But not just ANY F35, she was waiting for the F35B.

Its Monday, this is the best I can come up with, try me again tomorrow.

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Nobody expects... a surprise haemorrhoid operation

Ian Emery
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Re: Much less likely in America, paranoia rules here

Last time I was in a UK hospital for an op, I had the op.

Then they proceeded to put me back in the wrong bed, and less than 5 minutes later another crew turned up to take me for ANOTHER, more permanent op.

I was barely concious enough to protest; (lucky that the NHS is so stingy with general anaesthetic), and delayed them just long enough for the guy who should have been in the bed to come back from the toilet and back me up..

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Ian Emery
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Boffin

Chinese restaraunt, good idea, but...

One big problem, Most of the Chinese outside of China speak what we call Cantonese; but for the last 40 odd years, the official language taught in schools in mainland China is what we call Mandarin; unless the man was old enough, or came from Hong Kong, Guangdong or Guangzhi provinces, he wouldnt have spoken a word of Cantonese.

Writing might have helped, the written language only has two versions, Traditional (a bit like UK English), and Simplified (a bit like US English), but again, Traditional is used mostly by Chinese OUTSIDE of mainland China, as their parents left before Mao enforced the simplified version.

it is true though the Chinese are brainwashed from birth into doing whatever someone in any type of uniform/authority tells them to do (except traffic cop).

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Idiot flies drone alongside Flybe jet landing at Newquay Airport

Ian Emery
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Re: Ban Them!

White listing El reg is probably fine as the ads come from 3rd party websites; just use NoScript to turn off unwanted active scripts and you will be fine.

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Italian MP threatens parents forcing veggie diets on kids with jail

Ian Emery
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Re: Criminal offence to impose a diet lacking in essential elements ?

@heyrick

You need to learn what the difference is between a VEGETARIAN diet and a VEGAN diet; the difference doesnt seem very big, but in reality is is enormous; a Veggie diet is not to difficult to arrange for a child, as they can get proteins etc from eggs and cheese (and fish in some variants), but a vegan diet has no easy way to safely intake proteins (nuts being a big no-no for young children); soya products are about all they can readily have, and it doesnt contain the right mixtures a young child needs.

(and soya based baby milk is down to a single brand in the UK now, C&G ceased production of their excellent product after a fire, leaving only the slightly whiffy SMA version.

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Ian Emery
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Boffin

Re: Criminal offence to impose a diet lacking in essential elements ?

It is EXTREMELY difficult, though not impossible, for a CHILD to have a healthy vegan diet without taking some supplements.

The problem is that parents think THEIR healthy vegan diet is suitable for their children - and it is not, children need much different nutrition at different stages of their development.

This is an issue in the UK as well, and has been for over two decades; doctors and hospitals in affluent areas seeing children brought in with rickets and other ailments caused by malnutrition.

Not POOR people, but wealthy, chinless, idiots forcing their lifestyle choices on their children without thinking it through.

Yes, it is possible, but it takes research and a lot of planning to get a healthy balance throughout their childhood, I used to know a lad raised this way, and his lunch box was always filled with weird shyt he needed to eat to get what eating a bit of beef, chicken or pork every day could give him.

Obviously, someone it Italy has lost patients with trying to teach the parents to be responsible.

(Waits for down votes from chinless wonders)

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Brit network O2 hands out free Windows virus with USB pens

Ian Emery
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Re: Win95

Yes it did, and some times it even worked!!

The poor PC wasnt helped by my boss saving everything to the root of C:/ though.

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Email proves UK boffins axed from EU research in Brexit aftermath

Ian Emery
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Re: From the number of downvotes

Look up info on cartridge fuses for portable appliances (ie 13amp plug fuses), and the downgrading of circuit breakers to the point where modern one are more useless than a fuse.

IEEE wiring 16th(?) regs were dumbed down to match EU rules and regs back in the late 80s/early 90s (?), but at the same time, a few stricter German electrical regs were added to consumer electrical rules (and nearly killed off the banana plug for HiFi use).

(?) It was a long time ago, and I cannot remember the exact year the revised regs came out.

I was thinking of something specific when I said French, but now I cant for the life of me remember what it was.

Then there is the stupid CE mark, which is completely worthless, yet replaces most BSI Kite marks as the "legal standard".

I left the trade a while back, and didnt keep any of the reference/regs books.

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Ian Emery
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Re: From the number of downvotes

Anyone who has to quote wiki has already lost the argument.

As for the europa link, you need to look at what went on in France a few years AFTER WWII, but before the C.M. was proposed.

A history written by someone about themselves only ever mentions the parts they want you to know; try reading 3rd party histories.

I am saddened at the lack of down-votes, I was expecting historic levels, and all I am seeing is the same few, petulant losers.

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Ian Emery
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Re: From the number of downvotes

I didnt get a vote, I was too young; but as I understand it, the vote was to join a "Common Market", not join "The Federal States of Europe".

I also remember the French blockading the ports and refusing to let BRITISH lamb in, long before NZ lamb became popular, and the French blockade on British beef is still ongoing, even the European court has ruled it illegal, but the French wont give it up - one of the reasons so much livestock mysteriously disappears from NI and reappears in Eire, where no such French blockade occurs.

As for whinging, no, I just voted on the historical and current FACTS, not those ridiculous claims made BY BOTH SIDES in the run up to the vote and quite honestly, I expected to lose due to the fear-mongering spread by the "impartial" government.

Under any competent government, we should rapidly recover and prosper outside of the EU, but I expect the sad bunch we have, both in power AND opposition, will drag things out for so long that we will have a very bad decade to come.

[HINT] Instead of "Quantitative Easing"; which just threw money at the prats that caused the crisis, they should have invested in INFRASTRUCTURE, like building Hinckley Point as a government investment, instead of toadying to the French tech industry - who havent even managed to get their first attempt at the design to work.

Far better to have triggered A50 the day after the vote, and let the markets sort themselves out, than this constant up and down, panic and profit; for several years the markets has been reported to be substantially over-valued, so a crash was coming either way.

Keep up the down-votes, I dont expect any better from you.

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Ian Emery
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Mushroom

From the number of downvotes

I am guessing a lot of people posting today took part in the "Sad Losers Parade", a week after the Gay Pride Parade.

To all the "Remain" sadsters, I suggest you actually go do some research on the UK and the EU, right back to the day BEFORE we signed up to the Common Market, when they secretly signed away our fishing grounds.

The French and Germans have ALWAYS been anti-British; year after year they have proved this, with treaty violations specifically aimed at the UK - the embargo on British lamb, British beef; so why the fuck should we keep subsidising them, or bowing to crappy EU laws that are based on shoddy French safety standards.??

(Waits for histrionic levels of down voting)

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'The box' Bones uses to fix any ailment on the Enterprise? Yup, it's real

Ian Emery
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Re: I'm stuck in the UK

Still mystified on who or why the down votes.

You dont like sick people??

BTW That food allergy trial, the NHS wouldnt fund it, because it cost £2,000 per person for the tests; a charity organised it.

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Ian Emery
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Re: I'm stuck in the UK

They are covered by basic medical insurance in most European countries, and until BREXIT occurs, I could in theory move to France, Holland etc, and get them for free - with the NHS HAVING to pay for them.

This is not for cancer btw, I have something much, MUCH rarer; exact UK figures are impossible to find (I know I am one of only two men being treated by my local, county-wide NHS trust, but the US CDC estimates make me 1 in 1.4 million men.

In a food allergy trial for the illness a couple of years back, they struggled to get 160 patients, even after shipping them in from Ireland, Holland and Norway.

£12k is the headline cost; some people lucky enough to get on the initial drug trials found that the dosages needed started to drop after a couple of years, and now the amount the needed costs £500 - £2k per month.

The alternative NHS treatments are nasty, ineffective and have up to a 16% chance of killing me. BUT ARE CHEAP!!

Just getting a diagnosis was difficult, for 9 1/2 years they just kept telling me I was lazy........

(The US CDC gives the average life expectancy untreated as 4 years)

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Ian Emery
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Coat

I'm stuck in the UK

Where I cannot access life changing drugs due to the cost (the NHS wont fund the £12k per month).

How much is the box, how much does it cost to run, and can it manage TPO gen2 drugs??

Of course I probably wont be allowed to buy one, as it will also be able to make germs and "recreational" stuff.

Lab coat with ink stained breast pocket.

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Microsoft: You liked Windows 10 so much, you'll get 2 more in 2017

Ian Emery
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Joke

Re: do you enjoy

It could be worse, he could be a Mac-oist.

(A little Apple humour)

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Render crashing PCs back to their component silicon: They deserve it

Ian Emery
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Re: " like the way your bank waits until you are abroad...."

@LPCollier

Was it HSBC/First Direct by any chance??

EVERY time I told them I was going abroad they would block my cards, I got stuck in France, Portugal, Russia and Hong Kong - then I forgot to tell them I was going away (Dubai), and everything was fine, even though I drew right up to the cards credit limit one night (£3k doesnt last long in Dubai).

So I stopped telling them.

The next year I spent 6 months in China, using the cards and making large cash withdrawals in 3 different provinces (and Hong Kong), and never had a single issue with either of my cards.

(Cash for my wifes visa, because the UK embassy only take cash, and lots of it; and cash to buy my wife off of her family in the first place).

BTW, Dont let those Mastercard and Visa signs in the shops fool you; they only accept cards issued by a mainland Chinese bank.

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Ian Emery
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Re: My mama always said...

In this case, it is probably a worm.

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Ian Emery
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Re: You forgot printers

Yes, the little (or big) shites.

Mind has been nagging me that the black cart was empty for months (it wasnt).

Then, at the beginning of summer, it started nagging me that the clock wasnt set (it had been, but now suddenly wasnt).

I ignored it until this Monday, when I accidentally hit "Yes" instead of "No" to the clock nag, and had to go through setting the correct date and time.

As soon as I did this, it REFUSED to print another character - until the black cart was changed.

Just as I was trying to print out the weekend's order list and address labels.

It makes me wonder if the carts have a kill date built into the control chip.

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The developer died 14 years ago, here's a print out of his source code

Ian Emery
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E.E. "Doc" Smith

You were slow on the update, I read his books age 8, decided they were dreck aged 12, and settled down to read "The Silmarillion" again.

Still, he wasnt as bad as J.K.R.

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Samsung Note 7: Probably the best phone in the world. Yeah – you heard right

Ian Emery
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Samsung v Xiaomi

SWMBO has a Note4 and I have a HongMi 3G; despite the Xiaomi hype, the Note 4 has a far superior camera, but other than that, the HongMi is not only a better phone, it is ~1/3rd the price - and I still get regular OS and security updates (about 5-6 so far this year).

The current Xiaomi Note offering has been tainted by the new ex-Samsung development leader; hopefully the NEXT one will return the removable battery and microSD slot - then I will probably buy it.

BTW, a spare battery and usb battery charge charger for the phone cost me £3.40.

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Ian Emery
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Re: Smartphones are horrible phones

Disable all the PHONE features, and even a phone with a dying battery will last for a week of music, games and video.

Did this with my old P780, put it in flight mode and removed the SIM after loading it with suitable games and music, and gave it to my 2 y/o daughter to play with.

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TP-Link fined $200k, told to be nice to wireless router tinkers after throwing a hissy fit

Ian Emery
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Last time I tried, OFCOM were charging £115 PER HOUR to investigate radio interference issues; I and my neighbours have been suffering from wide band noise issues for over a decade - it covers EVERY frequency from MW up through 2.5GHz and beyond.

Actually, the noise covers a moderate amount of band width, but cycles up and down through the frequencies throughout the day; so my TV can have 100% reception and signal quality at 3pm, and lose 5 out of 6 DTV channels between 5 and 7pm.

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Ian Emery
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Re: Simple work around

@ Symon

No, TPL and other sell omni directional 9dB (sorry, blame the sinus infection) antenna, you can buy them on Amazon, Ebay or AliExpress. They look just like the originals, but are much longer and a bit thicker.

There IS a downside, they obviously pick up more "noise" as well, so if there is a lot of radio pollution near the router, it actually makes things WORSE.

As for directional antenna, there are plenty of free plans online, so you can make your own.

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Ian Emery
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Megaphone

Simple work around

Just stick some +9db antenna on, and away you go.

Yep, every TPL router I have come across has replaceable antenna.

My old TPL can be picked up at reasonable strength in the park, 200m away from its new home (mummy's), and as far away as the local CO OP (~400m), and that is with the standard antenna.

As for the BT router, it aint that good; a friend has one, and it has distinctly worse coverage than the last HH he had; 30ft and a wooden door, and the signal is gone.

A strange shape for a router, but it seems to work :-)

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US Air Force declares F-35 'combat-ready'

Ian Emery
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Joke

But only against listed countries

The list of "countries" the F35 is cleared to attack include :-

Monaco

Luxembourg

Easter Island

Jersey

Iceland

etc, you get the joke

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US state sues Comcast for $100m in row over 'worthless' repair plans

Ian Emery
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Re: A credit check reduces your credit rating?

Actually, that is also true in the UK, if you have more than a few credit checks performed in a short space of time, the agencies LOWER your credit rating.

(I think it is about 4 in a 3 month period, but dont quote me, go check out somewhere like Experian)

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Ian Emery
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Boffin

Re: Bastards

Sorry, my bad BTWholesale run the infrastructure, BTOR install and maintain it; BTR is the consumer division. Please blame my sinus infection.

When a 3rd party buys internet/phone access, they dont buy it from BTR, they buy from BTW, who dont charge call connection or termination charges, BTR add them on.

Ré line install, so they currently have an offer on, the price for a new LINE is normally £130 + £50 activation = £180. Even with the offer, it is £65 + £50 = £115

(Plus the mystery connection fee)

When I got my new line installed (by BTOR) via a 3rd party, I paid £50 + vat total. There was another charge, but that was because I was having Fibre installed at the same time.

With BTR there is also an 18 month minimum contract for a new line, I have a rolling 1 month contract.

Yeah, and I forgot the BT "annual" line rental price increase is now every 9-10 months, and the price had gone up AGAIN. I pay £13, and that hasnt risen in 3 or 4 years.

Oh, and my provider charges 5ppm for 90% of the calls outside of the Premium number lines, even calls to my MiL in China only cost 5ppm to her mobile (charged by the second)

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Ian Emery
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Megaphone

Re: Bastards

You obviously havent had any major run-ins with BT.

I came home from a weeks holiday to find my phone cut off - the bill had arrived on my doorstep literally as I left for the airport, the "Red Letter" was date stamped the day after, and the cut off letter the day after that.

Cue 18 months of refusing to pay the reconnection fee - which cost them more than it cost me, because although they cut the voice line, the internet still worked, so I had it free for 18 months!!

For your further enlightenment.

BTOR are the people who run the infrastructure,

They charge BT Retail ~£8 per month for your line rental, BTR charge you £18.

They charge £60 +VAT for a new phone line, BTR charge you from £180.

BTOR dont charge for call connection/termination, BTR charge you ~30p per call.

BTOR charge calls by the second, BTR round UP to the minute.

Still think their are amateurs??

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Going! going! pwned? 200! million! Yahoo! logins! leaked! allegedly!

Ian Emery
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2012 sounds about right

That was when my one and only - not used in the previous 10 years - Yahoo email account got hacked and used to spew spam.

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Windows 10 grabs 22 per cent desktop market share in a year

Ian Emery
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Stands up to be counted

I tried out the internet browser built in to my LG TV, so a few of the 220 might be me.

I also still run XP on a netbook that I use as my holiday PC, as despite all the hype, an Android phone/tablet (I own both) still doesnt offer the flexibility of the old Windows OS.

Ré O/S2, that ISNT me, but probably some "modern" Royal Navy warship.

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Ian Emery
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Re: Great Table

@ David 138

You cannot compare the two, one is a free OS that you have to search for and CHOOSE to install, the other is a "free" OS that is FORCED on you - even if you switch your PC off - and needs to be actively repelled by someone with enough computer knowledge to stop it.

I know a number of people who got Win10 rammed down their throats, and it is universally hated by all.

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China cuffs ten white-hats, nobody knows why

Ian Emery
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Since all the BIG companies in China are owned either directly by the government, the party, or by the PLA, I would tend to agree.

My 2nd trip to China, I stayed in the most highly recommended business hotel in the city - the translation of the hotel name was :-

"The Peoples Liberations Army Hotel and Supply Depot"

(no joke)

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Kaspersky so very sorry after suggesting its antivirus will get you laid

Ian Emery
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Trollface

Wrong end of the stick

It is quite obvious, from the way the scarf is being worn, that this is a brave Russian homosexual - and so one of the girls.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? The USS Harvey Milk

Ian Emery
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Joke

Re: Five-inch Naval Gun...

Correct, most navies use condoms to keep the gun barrels dry, although I understand the Dutch navy use caps.......

Just in case - I should point out that ONLY the second part is a joke.

It is a pity you can only add one icon, as I would also like to add TWO Paris icons -

one for "Where's the IT angle"

and one because she loves seamen/semen.

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Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

Ian Emery
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Pint

A warning from history

Milk in the pot is fine, just dont accidentally pour it into a cup containing instant coffee.

Te'coffee tastes awful.

Cheers !! (Thats my pint glass of Rooibos tea)

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The return of (drone) robot wars: Beware of low-flying freezers

Ian Emery
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Even in 2016

Adults riding bicycles on the pavement is not allowed - unless there is a clearly marked cycle lane.

Note I said "bicycles", I was seen a few twats riding motorbikes on the pavement.

As for fat women in mobility scooters - I agree - 75% of the scooters I see are being driven by fat women in their 30s/40s; who are too lazy to walk to the bus stop.

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Tinder porn scam: Swipe right for NOOOOOO I paid for what?

Ian Emery
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Childcatcher

Re: The REAL SCAM IS THAT...

@Dadmin

You had me so worried that I went and peeked under my wifes dress. (We met on the internet).

Yep, shes a she.

Buying her from her mum was the best £500 I ever spent.

(and you all think I am joking).

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Microsoft's 3D Jedi phone explored

Ian Emery
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Re: Wave your hand and hope....

OOO ERR ! But plus 1 for knobs!!!.

I HATE most modern car radios, millions of tiny buttons labelled in even tinier writing; the perfect way to crash and kill yourself!!

My old Clarion had it right, push, click and twirl a single know for all the most commonly used functions.

Of course current Clarions are useless, mine cant even switch to a traffic announcement without taking a few minutes* lie down to read the USB device and start playing it again, something the Chinese can manage in a £28 ICE unit (just a pity the sound output is shite).

*Yeah, I said MINUTES; it takes about 2 seconds per GB and my in-car USB device is a 128GB thumb drive. The cheap Chinese unit will start playing at once, and catalogue the file list in the background.

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Free Windows 10 upgrade: Time is running out – should you do it?

Ian Emery
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Alert

"keep it current for the supported lifetime of the device"

Define "supported", and supported by whom??

A cynic might suggest that this means "when the warranty runs out on your device, you have to start paying for updates"

Which means for a lot of people "upgrading" to Win10 on older equipment/cheap tablets, might be in for a shock in the near future.

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BOFH: Free as in free beer or... Oh. 'Free Upgrade'

Ian Emery
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Mushroom

Or Epson

I have a super duper multi function job sat next to me with everything mentioned included - except none of it works when connected to a network, ethernet or wireless; only when it is connected to a single PC by a USB cable.

For scans I have reverted to using my old camera and cropping the image!!

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Wavering about Apple's latest security fix? Don't, says Talos

Ian Emery
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Re: Does it.....

After the last update an Air stopped working with a TPLINK router and a Maplin repeater that it had been working happily with for months.

I got it working with the router by DOWNGRADING the security; the repeater has had to go, as not only was the Air not working with it, it was doing something to stop anything else working with it either - switch the Air or the repeater off, and every other wifi device could suddenly work again.

Just to reiterate, this is my parents house, I wouldnt touch an IOS device with a barge-pole.

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