* Posts by Ian Emery

729 posts • joined 9 Aug 2007

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The Pirate Bay SUNK: It vanishes after Swedish data center raid

Ian Emery
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Black Helicopters

The Swedes did it??

Damn!! I have been blaming the Great Firewall of China for my lack of access.

(Posting from behind the bamboo curtain)

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Firmware update kills Lenovo Home Media Network HDDs. Here's how to resurrect them

Ian Emery
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Not effected but....

as much as I love the Lenovo products I DO own, I recognise that they are a CHINESE company; and the Chinese have never really understood the concept of "Customer Service".

This will have to change if they want to compete effectively on the world markets, right now they are selling on price, but if they ever want to move upmarket, the punters will want to know that they can get the support they need when they need it.

I have a number of Chinese company products that are good.... but could be great if they ever got around to fixing minor niggles in the firmware; including an £50 ICE unit that does everything digital far better than big names like Clarion, but clips a tiny fraction of a second off of the start of every track.

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An alleged 27GB Sony Pictures data dump. 65 PlayStation web servers. One baffling mystery

Ian Emery
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Trollface

Breaking News

Sony has just changed its cloud server passwords from "Password" to "PASSWORD".

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Man asks internet for $1k for pebbles. INTERNET SAYS YES

Ian Emery
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Joke

Soap stone

For a cleaner taste.

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E-cigarettes fingered as source of NASTY VIRUS

Ian Emery
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Boffin

Re: Let's sum it up

ER - caffeine is highly addictive and acts on the central nervous system in a similar way to HEROIN.

(Dont just downvote - go do some research, the NASA study is particularly effective at showing what caffeine does to the brain)

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Sick of the 'criminal' lies about pie? Lobby the government HERE

Ian Emery
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Windows

I will sign IF

he adds an exemption for pies with two huge pastry horns coming out of the top.

(My local does a nice "Desperate Dan" pie)

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That sub-$100 Android slab you got on Black Friday? RIDDLED with holes, say infosec bods

Ian Emery
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EVERYTHING coming from the well known tat bazzaar is a clone-of-a-clone.

I suspect your problem may be that the hardware being used is telling porkies to the firmware; I have a Lenovo smartphone clone that is convinced it is the real deal, despite the hardware not matching what the firmware thinks it has; for instance, it shows GPS - and I can enable or disable GPS and the icon changes colour, it reports the state change etc - BUT THERE IS NO GPS!!

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Festive streamers caught in Vulture's claws: Gadget-ogle for audiophiles, video geeks

Ian Emery
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Dabbling my toes in the water

I heard too many bad reports about the Chrome devices, so when I wanted to try out the modern world of streaming music and video I picked up a cheap DroidBoX from a well known Chinese tat bazaar. The wifi doesnt like keeping a stable connection to my router*, so it is now hard wired, but other than that it is doing a good job of keeping my daughter supplied with Peppa Pig, Ra Ra, and Tinga Tinga, as well as exposing her to music streams from all over the world - she goes to sleep listening to traditional Chinese music and Buddhist chants!!

I havent explored more than a fraction of its capabilities yet - possibly because the user manual is two tiny pages of Chinglish.

* It may not be the devices fault, everyone in the area suffers from wideband interference covering everything from AM radio up; there have been times when my PC cannot detect my wifi enabled printer - despite it being less than 1m away; and at least once a day my normally rock solid 300Mbps connection to the router drops to sub 1Mbps and wont authenticate.

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Fiat 500X: A fun-loving Goldilocks who'll get down and dirty

Ian Emery
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Trollface

Something missing

THATS IT!!!

You forgot to tell us how many bits fell off or broke during the test drive!!

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Dawn raids on Orange over TROMBONING allegations were fine, rules EU court

Ian Emery
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In France

the perceived wisdom is that, if it is French, it MUST be good.

How else could Renault cars or Atomic skis still be in business.

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FTC: Sony told big fat WHOPPERS in its PlayStation Vita ads – and now it has to pay

Ian Emery
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Joke

"reassures the viewer in sultry"

Sultry, thats in Essex isnt it??

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Boffins find Jackie Chan's SUPERCOP is good for something

Ian Emery
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Re: Finally a use for Zoolander.

Yeah, it sucked harder than Traci Lords, BUT

Just remember, there are worse films out there....

"Morons From Outer Space" anyone??

By some freak of nature, the book is even LESS funny than the film.

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Guess which US tech giant was just hit with a $137m tax bill in China?

Ian Emery
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$137M

SO they will just scrape out a bit of change from down the back of Bills old couch then.

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Mega GP tech services framework badge awarded

Ian Emery
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Unusually modest for a government contract; has anyone lost half a dozens zeros down the back of the sofa??

In any case, they need to get the last lot of tech working properly before being given MORE money; the automated booking-in system at my local surgery hasnt worked since the day - three years ago - that they were forced to get an "upgraded" NHS computer system

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You stupid BRICK! PCs running Avast AV can't handle Windows fixes

Ian Emery
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Windows

Time to Upgrade to a better OS

Avast work fine on XP!!!!

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The next big thing in medical science: POO TRANSPLANTS

Ian Emery
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Re: Gut ... er journalism?

At the modern technological stage, these transplants have been taking place for a number of years, so why the sudden headlines - quiet day???

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BIG FAT Lies: Porky Pies about obesity

Ian Emery
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Boffin

Re: Good stuff.

Here is something else to ponder.....

My sons GF comes from a sink estate and was fed nothing but cheap processed "junk" food her entire life; at age 20 she was invited to tea at our house and had to confess she had never SEEN a home made apple pie before, let alone eaten one.

(Her diet seemed to consist of Findus and Iceland products).

At 18 she was diagnosed with a brain tumour, Doctors said it was almost impossible to safely remove it or treat it, so all they could do was give her regular scans and monitor it.

Every 6 months she went for a scan, and for years the tumour got bigger and bigger; then at age 23, she moved out of the sink estate and moved in with my mother - who fed her healthy, freshly made home cooking.

At her next scan they discovered the tumour had stopped growing, and the scans since then have shown the tumour to be shrinking!!!!

Of course, no doctor will ever link the two events; it is just a coincidence - like the coincidence that my rare auto-immune illness has gotten better* by avoiding yeast/yeast extracts, despite my having no anti-bodies for yeast.

* My average Full Blood Count has DOUBLED since I established the link and started to avoid yeast, and is now 13-15% of normal; it has been as low as 2%.

Thats a Boffin icon - a boffin is someone who manages to do something a SCIENTIST says is impossible.

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BOFH: WHERE did this 'fax-enabled' printer UPGRADE come from?

Ian Emery
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Angel

I must admit

My little* Epson W4535 MFP hasnt put a foot wrong (yet).

* In comparison to the big office jobs; it is still HUGE by SOHO standards.

To think I used to hate Epson and only buy buy old HP's.

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Ian Emery
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Facepalm

Had a boss like this at G.U.S. (Kay&Co) back in 1992

He bought £500,000 worth of swanky office furniture for all the 5th floor executive suites, with built in power sockets, and from a non-EU country.

Needless to say none of it met UK or EU electrical safety standards, so I failed it during PAT testing.

They sacked me.

BTW, he had a degree in Electrical Engineering, but managed to wire his desk lamp with the earth and neutral swapped.

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Leaked screenshots show next Windows kernel to be a perfect 10

Ian Emery
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Trollface

The Chinese will love this build

All those 8's in the build number means that THIS will be the most popular version to pirate!!!

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Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie FIRED in three-way fsck row

Ian Emery
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Paris Hilton

Sounds like my boss

Ridicules your ideas, then a year later announces "I have an idea...."

Paris, because she is good at extracting biological data transfers from a "fat" pipe.

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Samsung Galaxy Note 4: Spawn of Galaxy Alpha and a Note 3 unveiled

Ian Emery
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Re: Won't upgrade

I get that on my WinXP PC, I am in the UK and the set-up is UK, but Google and FireFox occasionally give me Chinese instead of UK English when updating.

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Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

Ian Emery
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Trollface

Re: Don't get it.

" Kinnect "

Isnt that some sort of toy???

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Ian Emery
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Coat

Point camera at ceiling/blank wall when not in use.

THERE!! PROBLEM SOLVED!!

My coat with the Anti-tracking liner.

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Hackers seize Detroit's database, demand $800k. Motor City shrugs: OK, take it

Ian Emery
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“I found the Microsoft Office system we had was about 10 years old

He should consider himself lucky, my boss still insists on running the copy of Office that came with her first PC - back in 1998!!!

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NOKIA - Not FINNished yet! BEHOLD the somewhat DULL MYSTERY DEVICE!

Ian Emery
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" Nicely specced but the lack of innovation or flair, "

Why does that remind me of other Foxconn re-badged efforts???

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I'M SO SORRY, sobs Rosetta Brit boffin in 'sexist' sexy shirt storm

Ian Emery
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Still waiting

Why no twitter storm - outraged at Coke using semi naked men to sell Diet Coke.

(Or is it Pepsi - they all look the same to me).

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Walmart's $99 crap-let will make people hate Windows 8.1 even more

Ian Emery
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Trollface

Does it blend??

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Poll trolls' GCHQ script sock puppets manipulate muppets

Ian Emery
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Black Helicopters

AH HA!!!!

This explains why I get so many downvotes on certain posts.

OFF TOPIC

Could the BBC please stop the bullying of Iggle Piggle??

Every night it is :-

Wait a minute.

Someone's not in bed.

WHO's not in bed??

Iggle Piggle's not in bed.

Of COURSE he is not in bed, he sleeps in an effing dingy!!!!!

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TalkTalk's 'unbeatable signal strength' and 'fastest Wi-Fi tech' FIBS silenced by ad watchdog

Ian Emery
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Boffin

Back in the old days........

The best wifi device I ever had was built into the cheapo Asus EeePC 901; my son could connect to the internet via a Pub 1/2 mile and 3 streets over from his mums house (she was too tight to even have dial-up!!), and still get a better connection speed than my ADSL line.

A few years later and my future wife had her UK visa denied, and missed out going to the Upton Folk Festival, so I wandered around Upton (connected to someones unsecured router), streaming video from the 901's webcam back to her in China.

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Google DoubleClick goes TITSUP. ENJOY your AD-FREE WORLD!

Ian Emery
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Angel

Between blocking scripts, blocking flash, and blocking pop-ups, I dont see many ads either.

I do miss my old pre ADSL ad blocker though, it would put up a blue box with the word "Ad" in it, to replace every advert it blocked - so you could see you were getting your monies worth.

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ISPs are stripping encryption from netizens' email – EFF

Ian Emery
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Meh

Meh!!

I was always taught that email is about as secure as sending a postcard - every one who wants to can read it along the way.

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Doctor Who trashing the TARDIS, Clara alone, useless UNIT – Death in Heaven

Ian Emery
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Osgood and Missy are not entirely "dead"

I mean why would they kill off the Master anyway??

The get out is the Timelord tech. "Heaven", where the newly dead go. So obviously Osgood and Missy are in there (for now).

Someone watched and reviewed in a hurry - so missed/forgot a few clues.

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BOFH: SOOO... You want to sell us some antivirus software?

Ian Emery
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Re: Foxit

I know, I was delusional, I blame the head cold and sinus irritation - the medication made it seem like a good idea.

As for how many PCs, only a dozen, but they are all old, patched together systems made out of left-over parts and spare XP licences (+1 Win7 machine) that originally ran WinME and uses Rambus Ram); actually THREE of them originally came with WinME.

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Ian Emery
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Foxit

I keep hearing people say it is unstable, but here is the thing, I have been using it since the dark ages and NEVER had a single issue; ADOBE on the other hand, - which I have installed because some government websites INSIST only Adobe can open their pdf attachments - buggers up every other time I try to use it.

As for AV programs, yes, they slow everything down to a crawl; almost as bad as installing realplayer (which I foolishly did again last night).

I have never seen a simple EULA screen effectively lock up my machine for several minutes before.

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Amazon: Put our ALWAYS ON MICROPHONE in your house, please. WHAT?

Ian Emery
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Trollface

Added

to the list of things to buy as presents for people/relatives you dont really like.

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So long, thanks for all the ...er, FISH BRIGHTER than boffins thought

Ian Emery
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Joke

FISH BRIGHTER than boffins thought

Perhaps they should use dimmer lights when looking at them??

"Visual" Joke Alert.

(I know, I need to get out more).

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China set to be buried under mountain of surplus robots, warns biz chap

Ian Emery
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Childcatcher

(Almost) No Social Security in China

So if they replace all the workers with robots, what will the people do to earn enough to eat??

As it is, you see old men and women patrolling the streets from 4am until after midnight, rummaging for paper, cardboard, plastic and metal to sell for scrap - just to earn enough to buy a £1 meal each evening.

Think of the children?? Seriously, do this and they are lining up even bigger trouble than the growing gap between the number of young men, and the number of young women for them to marry.

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UK.gov rushes out broken 'Orphan Works' system as EU Directive comes in

Ian Emery
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Facepalm

Re: European law?

Even there he is just a copy-cat, the French and Germans have been doing the same since day one.

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Microsoft to bake Skype into IE, without plugins

Ian Emery
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+1 for QQ

Just make sure you get the International version, as the standard version is Chinese only and packed with crapware.

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FATTIES: Boffins say their miracle sunshine skin cream 'prevents obesity'

Ian Emery
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Re: Yes there is -

4 "Thumbs Down"

4 people in denial????

The artificial sweeteners used in UK drinks are banned in several countries due to their association with liver cancer.

They are also very difficult for the body to break down, so the body creates fat cells to store them in.

I studied this at Uni.

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Ian Emery
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Paris Hilton

Yes there is -

The chemicals used to replace the sugar have two well known side effects :-

1/ Liver cancer

2/ The production of fat cells, the nasty ones that give your skin that "spotty blancmange" look.

As for the study, like every other weight loss claim it comes back to healthy eating and exercise; hence my personal catch-phrase :-

CHOCOLATE CAN HELP WEIGHT LOSS

(But only as part of a calorie controlled diet).

Paris, because the best way to burn calories involves her.

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BAE points electromagnetic projectile at US Army

Ian Emery
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Coat

Not quite true; there were a few mass "Armour on Armour", encounters.

Perhaps I need to get out more.

(gets coat).

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Ian Emery
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Black Helicopters

Crew members with fillings need not apply.

Would I be correct in thinking a Bradley would need something along the lines of a "Nail Rail" gun??

Shades of Gordan R Dickinson's needle guns.

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SKYPE has the HOTS for my NAKED WIFE

Ian Emery
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Big Brother

Too much like hard work

Lots of suggestions here for avoiding NSA scrutiny of you or your significant others naughty bits, but they are all just too much like hard work.

Me??

I just keep my camera pointing up at the ceiling unless I actually want to use it.

Although I supposed this link, printed out and taped over the lens might creep-out a few spys.

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRGuwBHAxey18WQjZUu9NAVG_CF5uHps-1IpSKAW0ObKUQhhgxm-15nOPOcMQ

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Ian Emery
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Re: Webcams are vitaly important

It is a genuine site dedicated to men seeking Russian wives, or interested in Russian culture; I still hang out there even though I married a Chinese girl.

Why 7 down votes?? The photos are real, the event was real (he walked right past her twice at the airport, she was so different); or was it because I said he still banged it??

He is a bit of a sex maniac and rogered his way across southern China; including one woman I was supposed to be going to meet!!!

BTW, these things happen on western dating sites as well, I just happened to have recently reposted the photos as a warning, so had the links to hand.

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Ian Emery
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Re: Webcams are vitaly important

Actually, he is an internet friend I have only met in person once; the really scary this is... he still shagged it.

(See newly edited post above - with links to photos.

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

Reg hacks see the woods or the trees In the Forest of the Night

Ian Emery
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Childcatcher

On the up side

At least there isnt too much of the cloying, saccharine, melancholy, over the top, heart string pulling that went on LAST season; that REALLY got on my nerves.

So sugary, will no one think of the children(s teeth).

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Sporty in all but name: Peugeot 308 e-THP 110

Ian Emery
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Thumb Down

Bah Humbug

I used to own a 1980's 2.2 Audi 100 that did 0-60 in under 9 seconds and average 42 enthusiastic miles per gallon; and I am willing to bet that if it hadnt been killed by an old fart, that it would still be going, unlike these micro engines that are too highly tuned and turbo'ed to last.

AND ARENT ANY MORE ECONOMICAL IN REAL TERMS.

(Plus it is French, they will probably not have any spares for it after next year).

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