* Posts by Ian Emery

1205 posts • joined 9 Aug 2007

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Microsoft's 3D Jedi phone explored

Ian Emery
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Re: Wave your hand and hope....

OOO ERR ! But plus 1 for knobs!!!.

I HATE most modern car radios, millions of tiny buttons labelled in even tinier writing; the perfect way to crash and kill yourself!!

My old Clarion had it right, push, click and twirl a single know for all the most commonly used functions.

Of course current Clarions are useless, mine cant even switch to a traffic announcement without taking a few minutes* lie down to read the USB device and start playing it again, something the Chinese can manage in a £28 ICE unit (just a pity the sound output is shite).

*Yeah, I said MINUTES; it takes about 2 seconds per GB and my in-car USB device is a 128GB thumb drive. The cheap Chinese unit will start playing at once, and catalogue the file list in the background.

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Free Windows 10 upgrade: Time is running out... should you do it?

Ian Emery
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Alert

"keep it current for the supported lifetime of the device"

Define "supported", and supported by whom??

A cynic might suggest that this means "when the warranty runs out on your device, you have to start paying for updates"

Which means for a lot of people "upgrading" to Win10 on older equipment/cheap tablets, might be in for a shock in the near future.

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BOFH: Free as in free beer or... Oh. 'Free Upgrade'

Ian Emery
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Mushroom

Or Epson

I have a super duper multi function job sat next to me with everything mentioned included - except none of it works when connected to a network, ethernet or wireless; only when it is connected to a single PC by a USB cable.

For scans I have reverted to using my old camera and cropping the image!!

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Wavering about Apple's latest security fix? Don't, says Talos

Ian Emery
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Re: Does it.....

After the last update an Air stopped working with a TPLINK router and a Maplin repeater that it had been working happily with for months.

I got it working with the router by DOWNGRADING the security; the repeater has had to go, as not only was the Air not working with it, it was doing something to stop anything else working with it either - switch the Air or the repeater off, and every other wifi device could suddenly work again.

Just to reiterate, this is my parents house, I wouldnt touch an IOS device with a barge-pole.

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Ian Emery
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Childcatcher

Does it.....

Does it fix any of the things the last update broke??

(Not a hope in hell, but mummy asked me to ask).

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Star Trek Beyond: An unwatchable steaming pile of tribble dung

Ian Emery
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Re: Star Trek Beyond: An unwatchable steaming pile of dung

I hate to be a pendant, but tribbles dont poo, they just eat, purr, and split into more tribbles.

(Yes, I need to get out more - but I wont (LOTR lvl75 Hunter))

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BT internet outage was our fault, says Equinix

Ian Emery
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Re: Ah, that was it

No, that's just life as a PN customer.

(Why on earth would you join PN??!!)

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Ian Emery
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Re: Don't know how to configure a Data Centre

Only one diesel generator?? Not much failure proofing there!!!

Then there is maintaining the equipment, of which I have an example - although not IT related.

My local pumping station had THREE diesel back up generators, so you would think in the event of a power outage, the water would keep flowing city-wide; alas, the company involved are notoriously bad at both record keeping and maintenance.

On the day the power went out, it turned out No1 wouldnt start, No.2 hadnt had its fuel replaced, or been serviced since the mid 70's and No3.....

Well it seems No3 had last been checked in 1943, all that remained was a large pile of rust.

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How's this for irony? US Navy hit with $600m software piracy claim

Ian Emery
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$500 million IS small change, it is barely enough to buy a box of DoD approved hammers.

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An anniversary to remember: The world's only air-to-air nuke was fired on 19 July, 1957

Ian Emery
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Re: just goes to show how little ...

I would just like to add Cheylnabinsk (spl?) to the above.

After several accidents at the nuclear weapons factory the area was so heavily contaminated with radioactive debris that Chernobyl looks like a minor spill.

The life expectancy is/was ~50, and until recently, doctors were'nt allowed to list cancer as the cause of death.

I would also like to point out the rise in cancer rate amongst the population of the WHOLE WORLD since the US and USSR started exploding nukes left, right and centre in the 1950's.

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Blighty's Coastguard goes into battle against waterborne Pokemon

Ian Emery
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Re: They are on Weston-super-Mare beach

several people EACH YEAR have died.."

There, fixed that for you.

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Ian Emery
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Re: Sky meets grass?

"That's a fallacy. If the sky meets the grass there is no room for the house or the stick-people. I'm an artist so I know this stuff. Honest."

I'm still shaking my head over "an horizon".

I think the game makers should get a special award from the Darwin Awards people, for helping so many achieve a Darwin Award.

I see the rozzers have stopped and fined a guy driving around while playing.

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Tor veteran Lucky Green exits, torpedos critical 'Tonga' node and relays

Ian Emery
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Black Helicopters

both of the above

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One in five consumers upgraded to Win10 for free instead of buying a PC

Ian Emery
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Re: Once again. We have passed peak PC.

"an iPad does it better".

yeah, right.

I've just had to roll back the firmware on my parents router to a less secure version AND ditch a new repeater, because the latest IOS update on their Air refuses to work with them.

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Tupperware vehemently denies any link to storage containerisation

Ian Emery
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Coat

Re: The rules mean they have to do this @Ian Emery

Sorry (hangs head in shame), I blame my wife, more than once I have caught myself talking pigeon English to friends and family after a long session talking to my Chinese wife.

That's my Chinese made coat, the brand name is "Despot of Brigade" (real brand).

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Ian Emery
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Re: The rules mean they have to do this

In which case they could of written

"We have to defend the trademark, so here is a slap on the wrist!! Naughty Boys (and/or girls)".

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Theresa or Teresa May? Twitter confuses nude model and new PM

Ian Emery
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Teresa and her chief whip

Maybe T without a H and her party could win the next election; they certainly couldnt make as big a mess as the last 2 decades of tosspots.

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Ian Emery
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Boffin

Re: It's not just Twitter

Have you tried switching off "Safe Search" mode??

I do agree with another reply though, auto"correction" is a PITA when trying to search for something obscure.

(Switching it off and on again is a highly technical process that shouldnt be performed by non-professionals).

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Teen thugs lure, rob Pokemon Go gamers

Ian Emery
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Playmobil - or it never happened

As title.

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Win 10 Anniversary: 'We're beginning to check in final code' says Microsoft

Ian Emery
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Joke

New Micro$hit announcement

Following customer feedback, they are going to launch a Win10 vacuum cleaner, because 99% of people say Win10 really, REALLY sucks.

Joke Alert (just in case).

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Blighty will have a whopping 24 F-35B jets by 2023 – MoD minister

Ian Emery
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Black Helicopters

Actually, the F35 is covered by so many US military secrets acts that ANYTHING beyond kicking the tyres and checking the oil requires that it be shipped back to the US for repairs (see current P.E.).

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Ian Emery
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And SOOO reliable, that they have

1/ lied about only having one for displays (they have 2).

2/ are so worried about BOTH breaking down that they have 2 USM piloted versions as back ups to the back up.

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Ian Emery
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Alien

Future history telling speak.

By the time these enter service, the wonks in charge will be complaining they are obsolete, and that they want the new F1000 super space plane - not even in the design stage and expected to cost £100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 each (plus spares and maintenance), and be available for test flights some time after 2100 (the year, not the time).

Him? he's believed to be the next democratically elected president of the USA - after the 250 year reign of Nehemiah Scudder, né Trump.

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Cafe killer remote code execution affects 140 million MIUI Androids

Ian Emery
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Trollface

Irony indeed; still, it is faster and safer to update via the MIUI PC Suite after attaching your phone to your Windows PC.

What? You dont have a Windows PC??

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Ian Emery
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MIUI 7.2??

Then this is quite old news, 7.3 has been out for about a month; still, good to know they are still updating old phones like my HongMi Note 3G, such a pity the new Note drops SD card support; I will have to hold on and hope the next version brings it back.

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Microsoft's cringey 'Hey bae <3' recruiter email translated by El Reg

Ian Emery
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Joke

"Jine Filter"

Translates as "Absinthe"

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Ian Emery
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Terminator

My translation - based on the original meaning of bae

Hello shit intern with tits.

Was this targeted at female interns with poor results and big chests??

This? How I feel every morning.

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TP-Link abandons 'forgotten' router config domains

Ian Emery
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Re: Same rubbish with Netgear

Actually, DLink are the worst; my sister bought a modem and separate WiFi unit (dont ask why), BOTH use exactly the same local ip address for set up - which for obvious reasons doesnt work; you cant set up the WiFi unit to access the modem when connected to the modem, because the page always shows the modem set-up!!!

Did they never consider someone might be stupid enough to buy BOTH bits of tat from them??!!

She later tried to fob them off on our parents, so I threw them away and donated my old TPL7980; they can now access wifi from the Co-Op on the other side of the park from where they live (~300m)

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Ian Emery
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tplinklogin.net

Gets me a blank grey page served up from Germany (yes, I have new-this-year TPLink Router).

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AMD promises code fix for power-hungry Radeon RX 480 GPU

Ian Emery
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Re: AMD RX 480 is a defective product! Period.

Maybe he is another NV employee.

As for an earlier post; a 12.5% performance boost and up to 40% cheaper makes a significant selling point; specs are so high these days that even 2% is regularly touted as an impressive improvement.

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Ian Emery
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Megaphone

Re: Compare to the GeForce GTX 970

NV employee??

Plenty of tests on games have been done, the RX lagged slightly on games that are known to be optimised for the NV cards, but trounced the 970 in nearly all others, even beating AMDs own 390 in some.

The tests were done with a stock RX480 against O/C variants of a range of cards.

I would post a link, but cant be arsed.

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NASA curious about Curiosity's fourth 'safe mode' event

Ian Emery
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Slow and buggy

Have they checked for Conduit?? Possibly picked up from some Marian porn site.

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Microsoft's Windows 10 nagware goes FULL SCREEN in final push

Ian Emery
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Re: Updates off - Rock on

@aqk

Do you work for Micro$hit (there - happy??), you sure come across like a fanboi, even after claiming to run Ubuntu.

XP v Win7 - I run both, XP is easier to fix when something goes wrong in most cases, although in a few areas Win7 manages to do a better job (networking mostly).

I only switched away from XP on my main PC last year, when RAM upgrades werent supported by the OS; it is a pity they did such a poor job with XP64, or I would probably not have upgraded to Win7 at all.

I also run Ubuntu, but after 21 years of Windows, it is a steep learning curve, I dont have the time or energy I did before getting ill, and I have tried and failed to get various emulators to run my favourite Windows games, so I tend to revert to this Win7 box for most of the day, and a XP netbook or Android mobile when abroad.

The netbook might be huge, old and slow compared to a modern handset, but it is more FLEXIBLE when it comes to doing "stuff", and despite the scare stories, has never been compromised.

Looking ahead, Micro$hit say Win10 is the last OS; for them it may be; I predict the markets will turn on them within 12 months - when it is obvious the Win10 push has failed, and the share price will crash.

How long before they are featured on the "Death Watch"??

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Isis crisis: Facebook makes Bristol lass an unperson

Ian Emery
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FAIL

FACHEBOOK??

As title.

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Ian Emery
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Terminator

Re: Fix the Scunthorpe problem

I dont think ANYBODY deserves to be called a Scunthorpe!!! Although I understand someone called Bonking Boris called Oiky Gove it behind the bike sheds at St Cakes earlier this week.

And finishes with an icon depicting T. May without her make-up on.

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400 million Foxit users need to catch up with patched-up reader

Ian Emery
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Does this mean Foxits "Safe Viewer" mode is bjorked??

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Brexit-bored Brits back to bashing the bishop after ballot box blues

Ian Emery
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Childcatcher

You mean like green being made up of blue and yellow??

(Goes back to finger painting)

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Ian Emery
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Re: Says everything that there is to be said

There may be MILLIONS, but the BBC only managed to find one brain dead woman who would admit it; and even then she thought she was only doing what her SON wanted her to do.

Actually, "Brain dead" is too polite.

Come on everyone, tune in to BREATHE FM... Breathe IN....... Breathe OUT..... Breathe IN..... Breathe out...

(Millions suffocated the last time they went off air).

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This local council paid HOW MUCH for an SD card?!

Ian Emery
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A carpenter friend did this once, asked to make a new board room table for a local business, he ordered what he THOUGHT was eight lengths of oak wood; what he ACTUALLY ordered was eight TONNES!!

He didnt realise until the low loader tried to drop the lot in his tiny workshop a few days later; luckily they took it back.

SWMBOS boss does this all the time, SWMBO asks for eight of something and the boss orders eight boxes.

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No means no: Windows 10 nagware's red X will stop update – Microsoft

Ian Emery
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Linux

I LOVE Italian food.

I HATE Windows10

Insisting love is only for people is a very Eastern European outlook, where are you from Carl?? Is BREXIT worrying you??

I love penguins - they taste like chicken.

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You know how that data breach happened? Three words: eBay, hard drives

Ian Emery
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Facepalm

You are all wrong

You take the platters out and give them to SWMBO to use as bird scarers in her garden, or in certain parts of the country - as ear rings.

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Visiting America? US border agents want your Twitter, Facebook URLs

Ian Emery
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Re: But my social name isn't my real name

They already have all your accounts, they are just checking to see if you are honest enough to declare them/double check they havent missed anything.

Besides, how much damage could foreign terrorists do, compared to the daily slaughter of innocents by their own gun-crazed citizens??

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Ian Emery
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Re: Is this so wrong-headed?

Government service "Orientation" includes a compulsory trepanning and/or frontal lobotomy; which is why so many of them come across as dumb-fucks.

Ré an earlier post about China being more respectful of visitors privacy - that may well be the truth; on my visits to China I have always been treated with respect at the airports, even when my suitcase set off their chemical explosives detector they were almost apologetic about asking to search it.

(It was some Cheddar cheese I was smuggling in, as the only cheese I had found on previous trips was yank muck).

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Ian Emery
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I dont have ANY of the above mentioned

I still wont visit the place again though; they pointed machine guns at my 7 y/o because a drawing pin stuck in his shoe set off the metal detector.

And I dont mean swung in his direction, I mean pointed AT him until the offending pin was removed.

They also tried to claim the pitch repairer on my mothers keychain was a dangerous weapon (she is a keen golfer).

After taking SIX HOURS to clear customs, and being treated as if we were all terrorists, I wouldnt go back if they paid me to go.

(Disney was nice, Universal Studios Halloween party was awesome, and NASA was... NASA)

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Ho hum, yet another storage startup. But, but, we're objectively different, yell newbies

Ian Emery
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Black Helicopters

94th person - or Possibly not

To point out that the baby used in the headline photo is in his/her underwear.

So under the UK's insane laws, the photo is kiddie-porn.

(Awaits the rozzers smashing their way into The El Reg bunker and taking everything, IT related or not)

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Down and out in the Middle Kingdom: Beijing is sinking

Ian Emery
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Trollface

Are you sure it is not just the sheer weight of the population??

Or possibly the additional stress of coping with the weight of American tourists??

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Three non-obvious reasons to Vote Leave on the 23rd

Ian Emery
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Re: Did UK make ever something positive to make EU stronger?

Turkey are being "Fast-Tracked"; and their appalling human-rights record, and totalitarian government issues are being ignored (see Private Eye - ad nausium)

The EU Army WILL effectively make it "The United States of Europe"; but without all the democratic protections of the US version..

The mainland Europeans distaste for us can be seen every year in Eurovision, so why not just admit they dont like us and go back to our old club - the Commonwealth. Many of our old colonies have at least the POTENTIAL for economic growth, the EU economy is moribund and likely dying under the weight of arbitrary EU regulations.

BTW I have first hand experience of the UK following an insane EU directive that cost thousands of jobs, and had a huge, negative environmental impact, while the French government publicly admitted they were ignoring it.

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Holy kittens! YouTube screens go blank

Ian Emery
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Unhappy

DRAT!

It is working here, my 3 y/o is watching Vampire Queen Elsa and Vampire Princess Anna being chased around by SpiderDaddyPig and Mermaid Barbi

How I long for the days when she was 2, didnt know how to use YT, and I could load up educational programs like kidstv123.

At least this means she isnt hacking my PC, like that undocumented keyboard shortcut that deletes all of my browser history and bookmarks she's discovered.

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Dell tempts hordes with MASSIVE DISCOUNTS on PCs

Ian Emery
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Re: Ah, DELL (time to lament the 90's)..... Now, anyone for MSI....???

I used to swear by Asus, now I swear at them; my last Asus mobo had a SATA port FALL OFF!!

I replaced it with a MSI board - which has its own issues;

BIOS updates have been known to kill the boards - even if you HAVE downloaded the correct one.

The Southbridge can run insanely hot (80C!!) according to various monitoring programs.

And worst of all, sometimes it will refuse to recognise any USB device when trying to do something pre Windows environment - including the USB keyboard and mouse! (ie a boot error asking you to push an "F" key)

This is all shades of Gigabyte; I've had THREE of their AMD boards all fail with the same fault; the original failed after a few months, and two replacements turned up already broken (ethernet port u/s).

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Rejoice, fatties: Giving chocolate electric shocks makes it healthier

Ian Emery
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Re: From comments around the internet

Actually, Hershey tastes fine - after you have had a Chinese formula Mars Bar.

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