384 posts • joined Wednesday 8th August 2007 07:14 GMT
Never mind the spelling, check out the apostrophe abuse. Pah!
Stating the bleedin' obvious
Later on "Stating The Bleedin' Obvious", "water wet, fire hot", court is told.
...would be an ecumenical matter.
IBM Selectric Golfball typewriter?
What's not to like? I churned out masses of total bollocks on one of these as a Penniless Student Oaf in the mid-80's and it was streets ahead of my crappy Olivetti portable.
I used to work with a chap who used the predecessor of that Microwriter wossname for *everything*. It was spooky watching him in meetings taking notes with one hand, without even looking at the thing.
...perhaps I'll be able to watch HD without the signal disappearing every time a bus goes past Larrington Towers
That is all.
Re: Shooting in 3D of absolutely nothing and collecting no samples.
Apparently you CAN go lower, as another bloke called Cameron has demonstrated recently...
Someone tried this a few years ago on K2 and came up with a result that made it higher than Everest. Then someone else had another go and found that K2 was, as had been long suspected, more than 800 feet lower than Chomolungma.
ISTR an episode of Steve Bell's "If", in which Reg Kipling described five-foot tall extinct penguins as resembling "Francis Pym dressed as a nun".
Daniel Craig is so wooden he makes Keanu Reeves look like Laurence Olivier.
...as the "plank" who was the last passenger to board BA 219 on September 3rd this year, it was entirely the fault of the useless twunt at the check-in counter who issued me with a boarding card that directed me to entirely the wrong gate in entirely the wrong part of LHR T5. *And* my phone was switched off.
If it's any consolation...
...a couple of months ago BA's automagical check-in system decided, in mid-process, to decline to acknowledge my existence. I therefore went to the organic version, who duly issued me with a boarding pass. Gate B67 at LHR T5. When I got there, I found a big shiny Boeing 747 loading passengers bound for Los Angeles, which was a more than minor inconvenience for someone who wanted to fly to Denver. Fortunately a nice and, crucially, competent BA employee was able to direct me to the correct aeroplane.
I was the last to board. "We've been waiting for you" said a member of the cabin crew, disapprovingly. I showed him my fatally flawed boarding pass. He was apologetic. I was apoplectic, though not to the extent that I'd consider using a US airline for next year's holibobs.
PDP - Aaargh!
In my first job as a Babbage-Engine driver we had a PDP which was used for word processing, and also by the accounts/payroll bods. Being a curious type who wished to be a 1337 h@xx0r, I discovered that the WP files could be accessed from the command line and were easily legible on a VT100 once you'd stripped away the initial gibberish. After only a couple of months in IT I knew the entire company's salary structure, which was galling as the only person paid less than me was the Wee Work Experience Lackey.
Twenty-six years later to the day and I'm still driving VMS boxes.
That's as maybe...
...but an e-chum recently got a job spec from a Slave Trader. The employer wanted someone with four years experience of developing apps for the Jobsian Fondleslab. Yes, please DO ask yourself how long said device has been available in the UK. Then ask yourself how clueless a Slave Trader would have to be not to pick up on this.
When my last job went to India I got a copy of "my" CV from the HR Droids. It bore absolutely no resemblance to the document I'd sent to the Slave Traders some seven years previously and, while it didn't say I was fluent in spoken and written Xhosa, the rest of it was so full of outright Lie that I am mildly surprised that I'm not doing porridge for fraud. And this was not the first time that a Slave Trader has re-written my CV to make me appear to have l33t 5k1llz in an area of which I know little. Witness the embarrassing time when some chump sent me to an interview with $BIGCO. I had understood it was for a VMS BOFH position, so all of us were a bit put out when it turned out that they were actually looking for a RSTS system manager.
Get you own bloody house in order, Sarah Connor, before you start bitching at the people who, when all is said and done, pay your fucking salary, er, commission.
Nothing new under the sun
The BRITISH Army developed a "jumping Jeep" in the 1960s, until someone realised that it was a total WOMBAT and canned it. You may read about it in volume 3 of Doug Nye's epic history of BRM and Dog, if you're reading, where the f*** is volume 4?
"creations which are visually the product of the union of a commercial-size chest freezer and Metal Mickey."
Verity, dear heart, I require a new keyboard.
The Tower of Barad-Dûr
I am speechless. Not one mention of The Sweeney?
Don't, Guv, 'e's not worth it.
I am only familiar with half of their so-called "top" ten. I do not know whether to laugh or top myself.
Is there a browser out there that ISN'T completely shit? IE6 was teh suxx0r in many respects, IE8 has two speeds (dead slow and completely wedged) and FF6 is even more reluctant to wake up in the morning than I am.
Also the GUI for Win7 sucks donkey balls.
No womp rats?
Re: And yet
Frankly I'm pleased the world wasn't sucked into an uncontrollable black hole. When they first switched on the LHC I was in the nearest equivalent of an uncontrollable black hole viz. Heathrow Terminal 5, and how embarrassing would it be to die while sitting on the floor at T5.
1 - Because Lord bloody Rogers thought huge and no doubt architecturally significant areas of bugger-all were more aesthetically groovy than providing the weary traveller with somewhere to SIT DOWN. Grrrrrr!
Out of order or BANG out of order?
I'm obviously a skinflint, coz a car that can be specced up to the best part of forty-five grand doesn't sound very mainstream to me. also the involvement of Victoria Beckham should be enough to deter any right-minded person from buying this particular variety of wankpanzer.
Go to a FWSE.
Enter ' site:facebook.com "nobody likes a grass"'
Get 'About 1,140 results'
I'm not sure the polis have really thought this one through.
Re: toxic smoke
The powers that be yesterday were advising people living to the south-east of the warehouse to stay inside and keep doors and windows closed. It's still chucking out enough smoke to be visible from over ten miles away, though the wind has changed direction.
The Boss of Intel UK was bigging thi sup on the telly this morning. Apparently it's like a fondleslab but better.
I remain unconvinced, terrible reactionary Luddite that I am.
Lies and Filth
I think that when RB says she didn't pay Plod for information, she means that she *personally* didn't go down to the Stab Vest & Truncheon with a brown envelope stuffed with tenners. I don't think she's denying that *someone* from the News of the Screws was putting a few "drinks" the rozzers' way.
...let it be true. Then when I go on my holibobs, and spend much time in a motel where the lobby TV is permanently tuned to Faux News, I can put a Post-It on same, reading "Don't say we didn't warn you".
Lies & Filth
If Brooks is lying about knowing about this then she should be sacked for being a liar. If she isn't lying she should be sacked for being incompetent. As to the Met, it was not for nothing that the local plod during the miners' strike referred to them as "bananas".
Not sure why anyone would need more than one inquiry into the whole sorry business
A couple of years ago I snapped up a bottle of Bruichladdich from Tossco in Harlow. The tilldroid ran it past the scanner a Several of times, but The System refused to recognise it. A The Supervisor was called. She returned five minutes later.
"Computer says no" she informed me. "This whisky is not on the system".
I concluded that my removing the offending bottle from the store would not constitute theft, since they weren't selling it in the first place. Sadly the horriblemarket operatives didn't see it that way and in the end I had to fork out lots of money for a bottle of the Balvenie Doublewood instead.
I'm confused. Is this story just a lie, just spin or a combination of the two?
Or is it just another example of the sorry excuses that pass for "news" outlets in this country publishing a load of bollocks without bothering to check the facts?
After Ayn Rand started blathering on about her theory which is hers and belongs to her and seemed indistinguishable from Mr Crowley's "do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" I'm afraid I got bored. Then we had some 1990s breadheads who named their children after Ayn Rand (which automatically destroys their right to be taken seriously) and sawn themselves as "Randian heroes" (I have not the words). It might have got better after that, but by then I'd lost the will to live and had started drinking heavily.
"The Power Of Nightmares" was utterly compelling. This is the opposite.
Here is how much difference it will make to me:
I have a three month old Sony Bravia Turbo Nutter Bastard. Can it get BBC HD? Can it buggery. And I'd have a direct line of sight to Crystal Palace if there wasn't a tree in the way.
Tesla = Fail
I suspect that Tesla are a bit clueless about what European Elise owners get up to at the weekend. B-road hooning, track days, a weekend in the Alps. Not much fun if you have to have a mate following you with a trailer to get you home in time for tea.