* Posts by Joe User

545 publicly visible posts • joined 30 Jul 2007

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Secret docs reveal Dell knew PCs were faulty

Joe User
Grenade

Only 2003 - 2005?

My company's OptiPlex GX270 mid-tower machines from that time frame are plagued by bad capacitors. I sent several of them to BadCaps.net for repairs, and they work fine now. However, we also have some OptiPlex 745 machines from 2006 - 2007 that are developing bad caps. Dell may have fixed the worst of the problem, but it definitely hasn't cleared up.

When you buy parts from the lowest bidder, you get what you pay for. Thanks for the crap-tastic machines, Dell....

Kim Jong-Il in radish inspection shocker

Joe User

Re: That's a radish?

This is what happens when your nuclear experiments keep leaking radiation....

Virginia cops liberate bound goat from car trunk

Joe User
FAIL

Obviously a mental pygmy

She defended her goat transportation technique on the grounds that she is British and "transporting goats in this manner is acceptable there".

Two notes for the moronic driver:

1. You aren't in the U.K., you're in the U.S.

2. It gets a damn sight hotter in Virginia than it does anywhere in the U.K.

Critical and unpatched, Windows XP bug is under attack

Joe User
Flame

Twit

Tavis Ormandy tweet: "I'm getting pretty tired of all the '5 days' hate mail. Those five days were spent trying to negotiate a fix within 60 days."

So let's see if I understand this correctly. Tavis tried for 5 days to get Microsoft to commit to a fix within 2 months. Microsoft wouldn't do it, Tavis got his panties in a twist, and he posted the vulnerability immediately along with an exploit example.

Thanks you, Tavis, for being a petulant little cock.

Lone workers will like being tracked, says Orange

Joe User

Great idea until...

You get an e-mail from HR saying that you spend too much time in the loo.

US Senator wants Internet seizure rights

Joe User

Two words about the U.S. Congress

Idiots abound.

Mass hack plants malware on thousands of webpages

Joe User

@Adam 54

When Adblock Plus blocks an ad that contains an exploit, then yes, it _does_ count as security software.

US boffins synthesize self-replicating bacteria

Joe User
Alert

And shortly after the announcement...

A nondescript gray goo was seen slowly enveloping the JVCI buildings in Maryland and California....

Boffins warn on car computer security risk

Joe User
FAIL

Newsflash

The researchers should have included this "warning" while they were at it:

Your home computer is at risk if someone breaks in and installs malware on it.

Feel.me up for grabs in dot-me domain auction

Joe User

The Who needs to get in on this

see.me

feel.me

touch.me

heal.me

Gene that allows growing a new head identified

Joe User

@Eddy Ito

As far as politicians go, there's a big difference between having a brain and actually using it.

Fear 2012? Bunker hustler has you covered

Joe User

Great location

"The first of Vicino's planned 20 bunkers is a 20,000 square foot facility buried five stories underground"

I enjoy being under 5 stories of earth and rock when the entrance is collapsed/flooded/plugged by an earthquake, tsunami, asteroid strike, volcanic eruption, . . . .

Thousands of years in the future, we'll arise as the Morlocks.

Apple rumored to put beefy iPad on diet

Joe User

What's in a name?

If a smaller iPad is released, does the earlier model get renamed to MaxiPad?

Adobe mulls changes to close hole in PDF apps

Joe User
WTF?

@A. Lewis

"I've been trying in vain to get my workplace to switch to an alternative such as foxit for some time."

Apparently, you didn't actually READ the article:

The attack was first demonstrated last week by researcher Didier Stevens. By misusing a feature contained in the PDF specification, his proof-of-concept attack showed how hackers could embed a malicious payload in a document and trick Adobe's Reader and Acrobat applications - as well as the competing FoxIT Reader - into executing it.

Did you see that last bit? Foxit Reader is (was) vulnerable, too. The problem lies in the PDF specification, not in the reader. Last week, Foxit Software implemented a security fix in their reader to head off the problem.

"Adobe used to offer a 'lite' version with cut-down functionality (crazily it only allowed viewing PDF files, imagine!) But I see this has disappeared."

The Lite version has disappeared because is was third-party (unauthorized) repackaging of Adobe Reader, minus some features.

North Korea mobilizes Red Star Linux rollout

Joe User
Big Brother

Undocumented feature

The wallpaper in Red Star Linux is a picture of Kim Jong-il. If you attempt to change it, your IP address is reported to the police.

Taiwanese chip co asks ITC to ban iPad imports

Joe User
Grenade

Note to Apple

Sucks to be on the receiving end of the patent stick, eh Steve?

Novell (not SCO) owns UNIX, says jury

Joe User
Grenade

A permanent solution to SCO

Try a wooden stake through the heart.

'Death knell' for Eye-o-Sauron™ US border stare-towers

Joe User
Thumb Down

Wouldn't work, anyway

Mexican drug runners would simply take sniper rifles and shoot the "eyes" out of the towers.

Feds open school spycam probe

Joe User
Big Brother

"21st Century Learning Initiative"

Hopefully the kids have learned to take the initiative to secure their laptops from prying eyes.

Welcome to the 21st century.

US school comes out fighting over webcam spy claim

Joe User
Grenade

Quick fix

Nothing at a piece of black electrical tape can't take care of....

I hope the school gets the sh*t sued out of them. There is no excuse for this sort of behavior.

Hacker cuffed for Moscow big screen entertainment

Joe User
Happy

Film's title

"Attack of the 30-foot Todger"

Computer Engineer Barbie coming soon to a toy store near you

Joe User
Thumb Down

What a joke

It looks like Brittany Spears' idea of a computer engineer....

CardersMarket hacking kingpin jailed for 13 years

Joe User
FAIL

Needs a bigger fine

Steal $86 million, pay $27.5 million in fines, keep $58.5 million. That works out to $4.5 million for every year in jail.

WD speeds up a Caviar Black interface

Joe User
Flame

Now for the obvious question

Can the new WD1002FAEX drive actually transfer data at 6Gbit/s SATA speed? No. This "improvement" is more marketing trash than reality.

Intel mobile graphics in 3x boost

Joe User
FAIL

Reality filter

With Turbo Boost, your on-board graphics performance will go from "sludge" to "fast sludge".

Bloated Office 2010 kicks dirt in face of old computers

Joe User
Thumb Down

Here at Microsoft....

The bloat goes in before the name goes on!

I'll pass on this piece of sludge-ware.

Linux coders do it for money

Joe User
Pint

What a concept

You mean they actually get PAID for their work? Whodathunkit.

NSA beats warrantless wiretap rap

Joe User
Big Brother

Won't get fooled again?

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss....

IBM buys spook-riddled DC services expert

Joe User

Doublespeak

"Smart government"? Boy, is _that_ a contradiction in terms....

Air France offers two-seat deal for fatties

Joe User

It's long overdue

Just don't put all of the fatties on the same side of the plane or you'll end up fly around in circles.

Israelis develop Nazi-doodlebug sonic deathwave cannon

Joe User

I see a new marketing opportunity

Selling hearing aids to Somali pirates.

US makes travellers go online, before getting onboard

Joe User

The real reason

JaitcH: All this 'security' is for nothing.

On the contrary: It exists to employee more government flunkies and to piss away U.S. tax dollars....

Microsoft predicts Linux will fail mobile 'quality' test

Joe User

Well, Microsoft should know

They have loads of experience with software that fails "quality" testing....

China silent on Google, welcomes compliant internet firms

Joe User
Grenade

An addendum

"China's law prohibits cyber crimes including hacker attacks." *

* Unless said attacks have been sanctioned by government officials.

West Country pagans tie horses in knots

Joe User
WTF?

Superstitious twaddle

"It is possible it's a pagan ritual and I have had reports of a change in horse behaviour, so if these are children's ponies it is an absolutely awful thing to do."

If your horse turns its head around backwards and projectile-vomits pea soup at you from across the stall, then you have a legitimate concern.

Star Trek to boldly go (again)

Joe User

Why no Shatner?

Because... we... can't... afford... the... extra... footage... waiting... for... him... to... finish... a... sentence.

Avatar renders this earthly life meaningless

Joe User

Appropriate choice of words

"with those most deeply touched even pondering shuffling off this mortal coil if they can't book a ticket to a new life off-world."

Oh, they're "touched" all right....

US music royalties' collector sues T-Mobile over ringback tones

Joe User

The name is almost right

AS[S]CAP indeed....

Outrageous new means of megastar demise spotted

Joe User

Now for the obvious question

How exactly does a star manage to keep antimatter separate from its normal matter long enough to build up a large quantity?

Western Digital goes cartoon crazy

Joe User

Wait till Disney's/Pixar's lawyers see this

I didn't know that Buzz Lightyear had kids....

Arise, Sir Peter of Middle Earth

Joe User

Here's another candidate

Who's next? Rowan Atkinson? ("Arise, Sir Edmund!")

Redkneck Vampire Attacks Trailer Park

Joe User

The demise of Bat-Boy

He came to an untimely end one night after jumping on the stage at an Ozzy Osbourne concert....

Aliens more likely to live on moons than planets, say boffins

Joe User

Habitable moons in "Star Wars"

How about Yavin 4, the jungle moon orbiting the gas giant Yavin in the first "Star Wars" movie?

Western Digital gears up for mighty formatting

Joe User
Headmaster

@Sorry...

Welcome to my change service. Give me a pound, and I'll give you 93p in change. What, you want change that adds up to a whole pound? It's only 7p -- get on with your life!

Dell bitchslaps Cisco over UCS server play

Joe User
Flame

Do you get a shovel for that load of bullsh*t?

Whereas Cisco's offerings are "closed," Asthana says, Dell's are "open."

Dell's systems are just as "open" as Cisco's, or HP's, or IBM's, etc. Try to find a third-part drive carriage for a Dell server; impossible. Try to order a Dell drive carriage without also ordering a hard drive; Satan will build a ski resort in hell before that happens.

RAF's new military airlifter finally lumbers into the air

Joe User

Re: Parachuting from a jet

@Anonymous Coward, 17:49: "Bloody hard to parachute from a jet."

Oh really? U.S. airborne troops never seemed to have much trouble parachuting from the C-141 Starlifter.

Intel Larrabee letdown leaves HPC to Nvidia's Fermi

Joe User
Flame

Never again

After the i740 fiasco in the late 1990's, I swore that I would NEVER again buy a discrete graphics card from Intel. The only reason that I have any Intel video products at all is because they're built into the chipset. Given a choice, I'd much rather have an ATI or nVidia GPU on board, even if it's a low-end part. They still perform much better than Intel's GMA parts.

Walking With Dinosaurs star goes walkabout

Joe User

Maybe he was hungry . . .

And stepped out for a taco?

VW unveils slippery four-seat hybrid

Joe User

Too light

"the Up! Lite tips the scales at 695kg (1529lbs)"

I bet it's a joy to drive on windy days (or when passed by a big lorry or bus).

Hacked climate Prof stands aside

Joe User
Joke

What a name....

Professor Peter Liss - from the eunuch department?

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