* Posts by Francis Boyle

1100 posts • joined 29 Jul 2007

YouTube's hilarious cat videos could soon cost you $5 a month

Francis Boyle
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Re: Tomorrows El Reg Headline.... Today

Anyone can create a streaming video service. It takes a Google to make money out of it.

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The Oric-1 is 30

Francis Boyle
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Lots of flashing lights

Now that was a computer.

A lot of people are going to be disappointed by optronics.

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'Like most convoluted theories, it was an incorrect one'

Francis Boyle
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I see your Whoooooosh

and raise a Poe.

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NASA aims Curiosity's percussive drill at pink, veiny target

Francis Boyle
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And I thought they were just going to use

frikken lasers.

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Pubic louse falls victim to eager Brazilian strippers

Francis Boyle
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Re: It's not all good though

Have you considered a stimulus package.

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ESA, NASA agree on Orion module supply

Francis Boyle
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Because

the US doesn't have to prove anything to the Norks and they don't want China cutting off the supply of ipads.

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Robo-baby Diego-san shows creepy mimicry

Francis Boyle
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Re: I'm taking my pitchfork to the University of California, San Diego next week

The Daleks?

Is it April 1 already?

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Vibrator guru on pleasure tech: 'Of all the places you'd want a quality UI....'

Francis Boyle
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"sexual health and wellness"

FFS, you work for a company that makes sex toys, albeit upmarket ones. It's 2013 and you feel the need to medicalise your product to make it respectable.

It's a piece of vibrating plastic not an MRI scanner.

I suppose I could make a comment about US puritanism. . .

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USB 3.0 speed to DOUBLE in 2013

Francis Boyle
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Re: NorrisSpeed USB

The Hilton is indeed a unit of speed - unfortunately it only applies in one direction.

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Biomass bummer: carbon mitigation could increase ozone

Francis Boyle
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Re: Each paragraph of your post is untrue.

That which is asserted without evidence . . .

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Official SCIENCE*: HIGH HEELS make you SEXY (Ladies)

Francis Boyle
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The flaw

in the experiment is simply asking the subjects to judge the gait they found most feminine. I can judge that Minnie Mouse is more feminine than Mickey* but that doesn't mean I want to fuck her.

*Try explaining that - there's a thesis in there somewhere.

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Little spider makes big-spider-puppet CLONE of itself out of dirt

Francis Boyle
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Stop the presses

Anonymous person on the internet comes to "conclusion".

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Swedish teens GO BERSERK in Instagram sex pic slut riot

Francis Boyle
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You're in the right area

It's like one of those Japanese combining robots. Never underestimate the power of a few hormone fueled teenagers in a group. The lampposts didn't stand a chance

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'We are screwed!' Fonts eat a bullet in Microsoft security patch

Francis Boyle
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CorelDraw is a vector illustration/page layout tool and a powerful one at that. No image editing program can be expected to do what it does. You probably don't need it. Most people don't need it any more than they need, say, a CAD program but that hardly justifies the bizarre hate its getting here.

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Girl gang targets Microsoft's Seattle stores for $5,000 theft spree

Francis Boyle
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+1 for "Astrotheiving'

Minus 10% for misspelling 'thieving' but you'll have to owe that to me.

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Pocket strokers will barely feel Qualcomm's new tiny bonk chip

Francis Boyle
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Re: Comma

I see you're new here. Actually, I see you really are new here, so for your information the Register's unofficial motto is something like "Supplying the internet with its daily dose of good old British double entendre since the 1990s".

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Mystery X-37B robot spaceplane returns to orbit on Tuesday

Francis Boyle
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I'm not convinced by the official line

The El Reg line that is. If the mission requirements were for a satellite platform for quick testing of arbitrary instrument packages a basic disposable system designed to sit under a fairing would have been faster and cheaper to design and indeed to operate. Not to mention that it would have drawn a lot less attention to itself. As for keeping the returning vehicle out of the hands of opposition that's a matter of giving the platform sufficient delta V capability. Wings aren't going to to help you much if you're on a ballistic course for central China. Alternatively a few kilograms of strategically placed high explosive should do the job.

No, in the end, a spaceplane has one USP- the ability to bring arbitrary objects safely to earth from orbit. Now I'm not saying the USAF are about to go pinching Chinese satellites any time soon but I don't doubt that they would liketo have the capability to do so. And that scares me quite a bit, to be honest.

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Brit physics student debuts zombie flick shot inside LHC

Francis Boyle
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Nobody expected

zombies? The way things are I've started to expect zombies every time I go around the corner for a carton of milk.

Zombies are a little overdone is what I'm saying.

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Copying Wikipedia's lies is not just for hacks, right Lord Leveson?

Francis Boyle
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It's David Irving thinks Wikipedia has defamed him

he should try suing for libel.

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Big Bang bashing boffins ‘Big Bounce’ back to BIRTH OF TIME

Francis Boyle
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Re: Speaking of perspective,

from the about page of Apologetics* Press:

The entire material Universe was specially created by this almighty God in 6 days of approximately 24-hours each, as revealed in Genesis 1 and Exodus 20:11.

Well, that's the big bang disproved then.

*The name was a giveaway but the I'm a bit of a masochist.

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Venus EXPOSED in predawn threesome with Saturn and Mercury

Francis Boyle
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Re: Go on....credit Stellarium for the pic!

"If I want to look at Venus and Saturn from an Earth-centric perspective, I need only go outside of an evening".

Lucky you. Around here it's all tower blocks. (Oh, for the key to the roof.) Of course for the view from space it's Orbiter all the way for me. Nothing like a good docking, now and then.

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Cambridge boffins fear 'Pandora's Unboxing' and RISE of the MACHINES

Francis Boyle
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Re: What's in it for the AIs?

Let's hope sorting out it's own space program doesn't involve realising project Orion.

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Boffins: Jurassic avians were more like Angry birds than modern ones

Francis Boyle
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Re: Not exactly a shock

"This ability would need to spontaneously appear in a large number of the species for it to thrive through procreation."

In 1860 that argument might have some plausibility. After Mendel it's just silly.

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Astronauts (or other 'nauts) could find life on Mars quite healthy

Francis Boyle
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is that when it comes to spaceflight, mass is everything. Energy can come from solar or nuclear (there are no clouds or neighbours in space or indeed on Mars) but fuel (specifically reaction mass) is the real cost since every kilogram you bring with you has to be subtracted from your payload. Certainly the process would be technically complex and possibly dangerous, but what about spaceflight isn't. And yes, producing enough fuel for a return journey is likely to to take time but given the journey time to Mars it likely you'll want to stay there a few months anyway. Especially if the alternative is to stay there forever.

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Drone security project to go open source

Francis Boyle
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Backronym

of course.

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Francis Boyle
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No

but I couldn't find an acronym for Vegemite.

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Francis Boyle
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Acronym failure. I don't think they're even trying anymore. I mean it took me about 30 seconds to come up with High Assurance Military Electronic Global Guardian System and I'm definitely not DARPA certified.

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America to send space radar to Australia

Francis Boyle
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Alien

But

how would you fit a Chinese submarine in a swimming pool?

Icon, because if it wasn't the Chinese it must've being the aliens wot got 'im.

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Swedish boffins: An ICE AGE is coming, only CO2 can save us

Francis Boyle
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Re: Authoritative is as authoritative does....

"Mires and Peat" . Nah, not a patch on Bogs and Sod.

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Black Ops 2 blunder has Mass Effect on buyers

Francis Boyle
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Yes, off course it was the voice acting.

Nothing at all to do with the lesbian thing. . .

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Liberator: the untold story of the first British laptop part 2

Francis Boyle
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Depends

<Henry Crun>Stop that naughty knee-dancing, Minnie</Henry Crun>

Works for me.

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Word wonks insist GIFs are really JIFs

Francis Boyle
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But oddly not

"to gib" despite that being a common pronunciation.

I feel old now.

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Surface sales 'modest' so far, Ballmer modestly admits

Francis Boyle
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You must be a Microsoft shill

You didn't even mention the Kin.

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Stob on Quatermass: Was this British TV's finest sci-fi hour?

Francis Boyle
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Re: Quatermass and the pit

I've never seen the TV version, (The asking price on eBay was pretty prohibitive last time I looked) but the film version was one of the few genuinely scary pieces of cinema I've ever seen. Of course, it helped that I was a young teenager at the time. Even so, the evocation of a devil that even a confirmed skeptic like myself could believe in was an impressive achievement.

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Francis Boyle
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"Spike Milligna"

Any relation to "the well known typing error" Spine Millington?

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Twitter in BRUTAL crackdown on copyright looters. Sort of

Francis Boyle
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Re: WTF can you fit into 140 chars?

Don't even think about messing with Big Poetry!

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Felix Baumgartner sadly turns out to be blinkered FOOL

Francis Boyle
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Re: I wonder how he feels

The traditional reply is that it's the company's money to be spent as it sees fit - conveniently ignoring the fact that the government's money is our money to be spent as we see fit.

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Japanese toilet can save penalty kicks

Francis Boyle
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What

could you possibly be doing on the toilet that would cause your balls to move at 160km/h?

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US Copyright Office approves phone jailbreaking and video remixes

Francis Boyle
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Re: Will someone take these out the back and shoot them?

Except ,since the "you don't own it" argument is based on the fact that software is not a physical object, your comparison is invalid. What I can or cannot do with software is governed not by property rights but by copyright which, oddly enough, is a restriction on copying not on "changing". It's not like I can't go through a legally purchased copy of a Harry Potter novel changing every instance of 'wand' to 'wang' or draw a beard on a Mona Lisa print. It's my hardware to manipulate as I wish with the sole exemption that I can't use it to make unauthorized copies.

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LARGEST BELCH EVER SEEN devastates gassy GIANT Saturn

Francis Boyle
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No you aren't

Just admit the depth of your disappointment.

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Five go wild with the Administration Tools Pack

Francis Boyle
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Re: "Linuxes"?

You have no sense of tradition. It clearly has to be Linuxen.

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Can a new TCP scheme give wireless a 16-fold boost?

Francis Boyle
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Ms Médard

That's Professor Médard. Or indeed, Dr Médard if you don't want to get too academic. Sorry, Richard, you're usually better than this.

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Can climate change be changed back again? Maybe, say boffins

Francis Boyle
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I tried expecting the unexpected once

but nothing happened. I certainly didn't expect that.

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Moon was formed when PLANET SMASHED INTO EARTH

Francis Boyle
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Re: Not surprising

Surely that was not Velikovsky but the HHGTTG. The latter is at least rather more scientifically reliable.

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Linux on ARM breakthrough to take away Torvalds' arse pain

Francis Boyle
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Re: Linus in toys out of pram shocker!

Go ahead. Oh wait. I thought you said 'criticise'.

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Japanese cellco drops veil on futuristic hands-free video phone

Francis Boyle
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Can't see how this could be useful for conference calls.

It seems to be, by definition, one to one. And when it comes to one to one video calls people are either not interested or they want, how should I put it, a certain degree of privacy in which case a screen and webcam are entirely adequate. I can't even see how you could point this thing downward - not much use for Chatroulette then.

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Is lightspeed really a limit?

Francis Boyle
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Re: Slow

Congratulations. (I'm not been sarcastic.) You've actually clearly stated the major commonsense assumptions that relativity violates.

If i'm travelling near the speed of light and fire a bullet from a gun i'm holding will the bullet slowly leave my gun because it can't possibly travel faster than the speed of light :)

No, because velocities in relativity don't add in that way as described above.

If stationary the speed of light is therefore c when moving light is potentially c + my speed is it not?.

No because a fundamental premise of relativity is that c is the same for every observer no matter how they are moving. This isn't just an assumption but an experimental result (look up the Michelson Morley experiment) that relativity explained. Also there is no such thing as 'stationary'. That's not strictly a result of relativity, but relativity's description of how relative velocity work pretty much put paid to any hope that the universe has some preferred velocity against which all others are measured.

because i'm nearly travelling at the speed of light whilst holding my gun would I be incapable of running around in my ficticious spaceship?

It follows from the last point that you're not really "travelling at the speed of light ". You maybe with respect to say the Earth, but if so it's equally true that the Earth is " nearly travelling at the speed of light " with respect to you. What matters is that if "nearly travelling at the speed of light " is say .999 c and your gun fires a bullet at say 0.002 c the velocity of the bullet with respect to the Earth is still going to be less than c. Counterintuitive, yes but the fact is space and time simply don't work in the way our commonsense tells us they do.

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Francis Boyle
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Slowing down light is trivial

The current record, if I recall correctly, is something like walking pace. (I'm sure it's been reported here if you care to look.) C on the other hand is a fundamental physical constant. Unless you happen to be a member of the Q continuum you don't get to change it. It's simply a part of how the world works.

Now that doesn't mean there might not be workarounds but those workarounds need to be compatible with relativity in much the way relativity is compatible with Newtonian physics.

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Register SPB hacks mull chopping off feet

Francis Boyle
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Re: What about the Wales?

I vote for areas in Wales and volumes in whales - what could go wrong?

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Pastafarians: Get your noodly appendages off that Facebook suspect

Francis Boyle
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Time to break out

the Greek strategic reserve of hemlock.

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