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* Posts by Francis Boyle

1035 posts • joined 29 Jul 2007

Software bug halts Curiosity: Nuke lab bot in safe mode

Francis Boyle
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Safe mode

That's a Windows thing isn't it? I can feel an Eadon coming on.

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National Security Letters ruled unconstitutional

Francis Boyle
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Re: Actually, No

Fair's fair, Steve. I always get my legal advice from greengrocers.

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Google sidelines Maps bloke, shifts him from 'A' to 'X'

Francis Boyle
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The basement office will be a bummer

On the other hand if the job comes with the regulation ridiculously attractive partner. . .

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We shall CRUSH you, puny ROBOT... with CHESS

Francis Boyle
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Re: Hi I'm the Chessmaster

African or European? Wait, I'll get the hang of this reference thing in a minute.

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Curiosity succeeds – Mars was wet enough for life!

Francis Boyle
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I think you're on to something there

Cute lil kitty cat + xenomorph -> Cute lil kitty cat + puddle of acid

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HEAVILY ARMED SEX CRAZED DOLPHINS on RAMPAGE in Black Sea

Francis Boyle
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I like what you did there

But the klaxon awaits the less wary.*

*QI reference

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Smartphone users prefer LOVELY apps to fiddly mobe websites

Francis Boyle
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Nice trick, Eadon

Go anonymous and get upvotes.

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Microsoft backs law banning Google Apps from schools

Francis Boyle
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"And who said Microsoft retired their munchkin brigade..."

But the munckin's faith that in ten's years time the workforce will still be using Microsoft products is kind of touching.

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The DIY spy-in-the-sky: From kites to octocopters

Francis Boyle
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Re: Living drones

You want to harness a DC-9 to a homing pigeon. Wouldn't that be just a little cruel.

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Francis Boyle
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And I'll keep my SLR

with me too.

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'We the People' seek to double NASA budget – at least

Francis Boyle
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The lesson being

fund your space program through product placement.

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BAN SMUT, rage MEPs: Purpose of internet must be EXTERMINATED

Francis Boyle
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Misogyny howto

step 1. Convince yourself that if a woman is a feminist it's because "she can't get laid".

step 2. Don't worry about steps 1 - 2379: they'll come naturally once you master step one.

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Francis Boyle
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Re: EU Political Correctness / Communism / Fascism

An Eadon comment is automatically ironic. It has nothing to do with his intention. Does he actually have intentions. In fact, I'm beginning to suspect Eadon is amfm release version. It's a pity though, that the coders have substituted breadth with (superficial ) coherence.

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Android 'splits' into the Good and the lovechild of Bad and Ugly

Francis Boyle
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Re: Or worse?

I don't disagree with you but isn't the problem more fundamental than that? Analysts get paid to say stuff. They'll still get paid if said stuff is inane or obvious or misleading. They only only don't get paid if they don't say anything at all.

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Boffins implant almost-cellphone in the BRAIN

Francis Boyle
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Re: tiny ?

That's what I thought. Some (unfortunate) men are not that well equipped.

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Francis Boyle
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"extremely slow (19-15hz), massively parallel, "analogue", self-repairing and self-adapting, poor compartmentalisation, with pattern detection bias and high error ratio"

Sounds like the US Army. (OK , any army.) May be you should contact the Call of Duty and ask them how they did it.

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Stargazers spot first-ever planet forming in dusty disc

Francis Boyle
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Who needs an exciting name

When they're "extremely large".

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Sergey Brin emasculated after HORROR smartphone disaster

Francis Boyle
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Dear Sergey,

'Emasculating'. I don't think it means what you think it means.

Oh, and while you're here, please stop the fuck trying to get me to sign into my Google account whenever I do a quick search for movie quotes I'm pretending to know by heart.

regards - FJB

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Colombian boffins reconstruct flight path of Russian meteor

Francis Boyle
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Must be wrong

That path goes nowhere near Edwards AFB - crazy Russian politician.

But they said "Apollo" and Project Apollo didn't go anywhere near the moon - crazy American.

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Francis Boyle
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I thought you meant the vapour trails

then I remembered I came here to do a CMP joke.

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Razzie voters drive stake through Twilight

Francis Boyle
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Re: Why revel in things someone else has decided are waste of time?

Because from a third person point we learn much more from failures than successes. Sure if you want to make an Oscar-winner by all means study Oscar-winners. But if you're not in the business you watch good movies and discuss bad ones.

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Fondling again: HP slates new tablet for April

Francis Boyle
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Re: Looks like a Nexus 7 clone...

I'll certainly be considering it. I've been umming and aahing over a Nexus but I'm on a budget and the AU$200 plus price keeps putting me off. Basically all I need is decent battery life, reasonable build quality, and the ability to run a browser. If I can get that for $30 less than a Nexus I'm interested. On the other hand, there's the poorish screen and the HP liability . . .

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Australia cuts Microsoft bill by AU$100m

Francis Boyle
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Re: John Sheridan, eh?

Most of the savings come by adopting Minbari technology but when you see the UI you'll be longing for the return of the ribbon.

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AMD: Star Trek holodecks within reach

Francis Boyle
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Re: java?

That episode?I remember all of them and to be fair most were down to flash vulns.

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Russian boffins race to meteorite crash lake as shard prices go sky-high

Francis Boyle
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International pretend to be a space traveller day

is next Thursday.

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Civilization peaks: BEER-dispensing arcade game created

Francis Boyle
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Now to hook this up to one of those pee-controlled urinal games

and the circle will be complete.

Now, that's peak civilisation.

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Roast entrepreneur: Mmm, tastes Just Like Chicken

Francis Boyle
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Entrepreneur tastes just like chicken

I think The Bongster is starting to tell porkies!

I have of course believed everything he has written up till now.

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Love in the time of the internet: A personal memoir

Francis Boyle
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I'm interesting

You're an oddball. They're batshit insane.

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Twitter translated to LOLCATZ: Strangely this had not been done

Francis Boyle
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Re: Sign of the times?

I was going to demand Klingon but a true warrior. . . . No, I don't have the strength to go on.

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Public told to go to hell, name Pluto's two new moons

Francis Boyle
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Since we're restricted to the classics

surely that should be "Doug and Dinsdale".

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British games company says it owns the idea of space marines

Francis Boyle
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Re: Marines?

They were all called Kevin, just to keep it clear.

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Pinging in the rain: Boffins track wet spots using phone masts

Francis Boyle
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I'm happy to wait two days

for the puns.

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Astronomers unravel solar system's strange energy 'ribbon'

Francis Boyle
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It's the G'Tall tripwire

and since we triggered it four years ago they'll be here any day now to put the animals back in the zoo.

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Boffins find 17,425,170-digit prime number

Francis Boyle
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Are you trying to get them to multiply

or will you supply condoms?

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YouTube's hilarious cat videos could soon cost you $5 a month

Francis Boyle
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Re: Tomorrows El Reg Headline.... Today

Anyone can create a streaming video service. It takes a Google to make money out of it.

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The Oric-1 is 30

Francis Boyle
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Lots of flashing lights

Now that was a computer.

A lot of people are going to be disappointed by optronics.

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'Like most convoluted theories, it was an incorrect one'

Francis Boyle
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I see your Whoooooosh

and raise a Poe.

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NASA aims Curiosity's percussive drill at pink, veiny target

Francis Boyle
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And I thought they were just going to use

frikken lasers.

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Pubic louse falls victim to eager Brazilian strippers

Francis Boyle
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Re: It's not all good though

Have you considered a stimulus package.

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ESA, NASA agree on Orion module supply

Francis Boyle
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Because

the US doesn't have to prove anything to the Norks and they don't want China cutting off the supply of ipads.

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Robo-baby Diego-san shows creepy mimicry

Francis Boyle
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Re: I'm taking my pitchfork to the University of California, San Diego next week

The Daleks?

Is it April 1 already?

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Vibrator guru on pleasure tech: 'Of all the places you'd want a quality UI....'

Francis Boyle
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"sexual health and wellness"

FFS, you work for a company that makes sex toys, albeit upmarket ones. It's 2013 and you feel the need to medicalise your product to make it respectable.

It's a piece of vibrating plastic not an MRI scanner.

I suppose I could make a comment about US puritanism. . .

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USB 3.0 speed to DOUBLE in 2013

Francis Boyle
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Re: NorrisSpeed USB

The Hilton is indeed a unit of speed - unfortunately it only applies in one direction.

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Biomass bummer: carbon mitigation could increase ozone

Francis Boyle
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Re: Each paragraph of your post is untrue.

That which is asserted without evidence . . .

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Official SCIENCE*: HIGH HEELS make you SEXY (Ladies)

Francis Boyle
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The flaw

in the experiment is simply asking the subjects to judge the gait they found most feminine. I can judge that Minnie Mouse is more feminine than Mickey* but that doesn't mean I want to fuck her.

*Try explaining that - there's a thesis in there somewhere.

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Little spider makes big-spider-puppet CLONE of itself out of dirt

Francis Boyle
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Stop the presses

Anonymous person on the internet comes to "conclusion".

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Swedish teens GO BERSERK in Instagram sex pic slut riot

Francis Boyle
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You're in the right area

It's like one of those Japanese combining robots. Never underestimate the power of a few hormone fueled teenagers in a group. The lampposts didn't stand a chance

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'We are screwed!' Fonts eat a bullet in Microsoft security patch

Francis Boyle
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CorelDraw is a vector illustration/page layout tool and a powerful one at that. No image editing program can be expected to do what it does. You probably don't need it. Most people don't need it any more than they need, say, a CAD program but that hardly justifies the bizarre hate its getting here.

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Girl gang targets Microsoft's Seattle stores for $5,000 theft spree

Francis Boyle
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+1 for "Astrotheiving'

Minus 10% for misspelling 'thieving' but you'll have to owe that to me.

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