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* Posts by Francis Boyle

1020 posts • joined 29 Jul 2007

Boffins implant almost-cellphone in the BRAIN

Francis Boyle
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Re: tiny ?

That's what I thought. Some (unfortunate) men are not that well equipped.

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Francis Boyle
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"extremely slow (19-15hz), massively parallel, "analogue", self-repairing and self-adapting, poor compartmentalisation, with pattern detection bias and high error ratio"

Sounds like the US Army. (OK , any army.) May be you should contact the Call of Duty and ask them how they did it.

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Stargazers spot first-ever planet forming in dusty disc

Francis Boyle
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Who needs an exciting name

When they're "extremely large".

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Sergey Brin emasculated after HORROR smartphone disaster

Francis Boyle
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Dear Sergey,

'Emasculating'. I don't think it means what you think it means.

Oh, and while you're here, please stop the fuck trying to get me to sign into my Google account whenever I do a quick search for movie quotes I'm pretending to know by heart.

regards - FJB

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Colombian boffins reconstruct flight path of Russian meteor

Francis Boyle
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Must be wrong

That path goes nowhere near Edwards AFB - crazy Russian politician.

But they said "Apollo" and Project Apollo didn't go anywhere near the moon - crazy American.

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Francis Boyle
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I thought you meant the vapour trails

then I remembered I came here to do a CMP joke.

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Razzie voters drive stake through Twilight

Francis Boyle
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Re: Why revel in things someone else has decided are waste of time?

Because from a third person point we learn much more from failures than successes. Sure if you want to make an Oscar-winner by all means study Oscar-winners. But if you're not in the business you watch good movies and discuss bad ones.

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Fondling again: HP slates new tablet for April

Francis Boyle
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Re: Looks like a Nexus 7 clone...

I'll certainly be considering it. I've been umming and aahing over a Nexus but I'm on a budget and the AU$200 plus price keeps putting me off. Basically all I need is decent battery life, reasonable build quality, and the ability to run a browser. If I can get that for $30 less than a Nexus I'm interested. On the other hand, there's the poorish screen and the HP liability . . .

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Australia cuts Microsoft bill by AU$100m

Francis Boyle
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Re: John Sheridan, eh?

Most of the savings come by adopting Minbari technology but when you see the UI you'll be longing for the return of the ribbon.

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AMD: Star Trek holodecks within reach

Francis Boyle
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Re: java?

That episode?I remember all of them and to be fair most were down to flash vulns.

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Russian boffins race to meteorite crash lake as shard prices go sky-high

Francis Boyle
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International pretend to be a space traveller day

is next Thursday.

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Civilization peaks: BEER-dispensing arcade game created

Francis Boyle
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Now to hook this up to one of those pee-controlled urinal games

and the circle will be complete.

Now, that's peak civilisation.

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Roast entrepreneur: Mmm, tastes Just Like Chicken

Francis Boyle
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Entrepreneur tastes just like chicken

I think The Bongster is starting to tell porkies!

I have of course believed everything he has written up till now.

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Love in the time of the internet: A personal memoir

Francis Boyle
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I'm interesting

You're an oddball. They're batshit insane.

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Twitter translated to LOLCATZ: Strangely this had not been done

Francis Boyle
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Re: Sign of the times?

I was going to demand Klingon but a true warrior. . . . No, I don't have the strength to go on.

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Public told to go to hell, name Pluto's two new moons

Francis Boyle
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Since we're restricted to the classics

surely that should be "Doug and Dinsdale".

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British games company says it owns the idea of space marines

Francis Boyle
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Re: Marines?

They were all called Kevin, just to keep it clear.

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Pinging in the rain: Boffins track wet spots using phone masts

Francis Boyle
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I'm happy to wait two days

for the puns.

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Astronomers unravel solar system's strange energy 'ribbon'

Francis Boyle
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It's the G'Tall tripwire

and since we triggered it four years ago they'll be here any day now to put the animals back in the zoo.

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Boffins find 17,425,170-digit prime number

Francis Boyle
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Are you trying to get them to multiply

or will you supply condoms?

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YouTube's hilarious cat videos could soon cost you $5 a month

Francis Boyle
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Re: Tomorrows El Reg Headline.... Today

Anyone can create a streaming video service. It takes a Google to make money out of it.

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The Oric-1 is 30

Francis Boyle
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Lots of flashing lights

Now that was a computer.

A lot of people are going to be disappointed by optronics.

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'Like most convoluted theories, it was an incorrect one'

Francis Boyle
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I see your Whoooooosh

and raise a Poe.

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NASA aims Curiosity's percussive drill at pink, veiny target

Francis Boyle
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And I thought they were just going to use

frikken lasers.

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Pubic louse falls victim to eager Brazilian strippers

Francis Boyle
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Re: It's not all good though

Have you considered a stimulus package.

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ESA, NASA agree on Orion module supply

Francis Boyle
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Because

the US doesn't have to prove anything to the Norks and they don't want China cutting off the supply of ipads.

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Robo-baby Diego-san shows creepy mimicry

Francis Boyle
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Re: I'm taking my pitchfork to the University of California, San Diego next week

The Daleks?

Is it April 1 already?

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Vibrator guru on pleasure tech: 'Of all the places you'd want a quality UI....'

Francis Boyle
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"sexual health and wellness"

FFS, you work for a company that makes sex toys, albeit upmarket ones. It's 2013 and you feel the need to medicalise your product to make it respectable.

It's a piece of vibrating plastic not an MRI scanner.

I suppose I could make a comment about US puritanism. . .

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USB 3.0 speed to DOUBLE in 2013

Francis Boyle
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Re: NorrisSpeed USB

The Hilton is indeed a unit of speed - unfortunately it only applies in one direction.

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Biomass bummer: carbon mitigation could increase ozone

Francis Boyle
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Re: Each paragraph of your post is untrue.

That which is asserted without evidence . . .

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Official SCIENCE*: HIGH HEELS make you SEXY (Ladies)

Francis Boyle
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The flaw

in the experiment is simply asking the subjects to judge the gait they found most feminine. I can judge that Minnie Mouse is more feminine than Mickey* but that doesn't mean I want to fuck her.

*Try explaining that - there's a thesis in there somewhere.

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Little spider makes big-spider-puppet CLONE of itself out of dirt

Francis Boyle
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Stop the presses

Anonymous person on the internet comes to "conclusion".

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Swedish teens GO BERSERK in Instagram sex pic slut riot

Francis Boyle
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You're in the right area

It's like one of those Japanese combining robots. Never underestimate the power of a few hormone fueled teenagers in a group. The lampposts didn't stand a chance

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'We are screwed!' Fonts eat a bullet in Microsoft security patch

Francis Boyle
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CorelDraw is a vector illustration/page layout tool and a powerful one at that. No image editing program can be expected to do what it does. You probably don't need it. Most people don't need it any more than they need, say, a CAD program but that hardly justifies the bizarre hate its getting here.

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Girl gang targets Microsoft's Seattle stores for $5,000 theft spree

Francis Boyle
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+1 for "Astrotheiving'

Minus 10% for misspelling 'thieving' but you'll have to owe that to me.

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Pocket strokers will barely feel Qualcomm's new tiny bonk chip

Francis Boyle
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Re: Comma

I see you're new here. Actually, I see you really are new here, so for your information the Register's unofficial motto is something like "Supplying the internet with its daily dose of good old British double entendre since the 1990s".

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Mystery X-37B robot spaceplane returns to orbit on Tuesday

Francis Boyle
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I'm not convinced by the official line

The El Reg line that is. If the mission requirements were for a satellite platform for quick testing of arbitrary instrument packages a basic disposable system designed to sit under a fairing would have been faster and cheaper to design and indeed to operate. Not to mention that it would have drawn a lot less attention to itself. As for keeping the returning vehicle out of the hands of opposition that's a matter of giving the platform sufficient delta V capability. Wings aren't going to to help you much if you're on a ballistic course for central China. Alternatively a few kilograms of strategically placed high explosive should do the job.

No, in the end, a spaceplane has one USP- the ability to bring arbitrary objects safely to earth from orbit. Now I'm not saying the USAF are about to go pinching Chinese satellites any time soon but I don't doubt that they would liketo have the capability to do so. And that scares me quite a bit, to be honest.

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Brit physics student debuts zombie flick shot inside LHC

Francis Boyle
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Nobody expected

zombies? The way things are I've started to expect zombies every time I go around the corner for a carton of milk.

Zombies are a little overdone is what I'm saying.

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Copying Wikipedia's lies is not just for hacks, right Lord Leveson?

Francis Boyle
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It's David Irving thinks Wikipedia has defamed him

he should try suing for libel.

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Big Bang bashing boffins ‘Big Bounce’ back to BIRTH OF TIME

Francis Boyle
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Re: Speaking of perspective,

from the about page of Apologetics* Press:

The entire material Universe was specially created by this almighty God in 6 days of approximately 24-hours each, as revealed in Genesis 1 and Exodus 20:11.

Well, that's the big bang disproved then.

*The name was a giveaway but the I'm a bit of a masochist.

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Venus EXPOSED in predawn threesome with Saturn and Mercury

Francis Boyle
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Re: Go on....credit Stellarium for the pic!

"If I want to look at Venus and Saturn from an Earth-centric perspective, I need only go outside of an evening".

Lucky you. Around here it's all tower blocks. (Oh, for the key to the roof.) Of course for the view from space it's Orbiter all the way for me. Nothing like a good docking, now and then.

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Cambridge boffins fear 'Pandora's Unboxing' and RISE of the MACHINES

Francis Boyle
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Re: What's in it for the AIs?

Let's hope sorting out it's own space program doesn't involve realising project Orion.

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Boffins: Jurassic avians were more like Angry birds than modern ones

Francis Boyle
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Re: Not exactly a shock

"This ability would need to spontaneously appear in a large number of the species for it to thrive through procreation."

In 1860 that argument might have some plausibility. After Mendel it's just silly.

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Astronauts (or other 'nauts) could find life on Mars quite healthy

Francis Boyle
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is that when it comes to spaceflight, mass is everything. Energy can come from solar or nuclear (there are no clouds or neighbours in space or indeed on Mars) but fuel (specifically reaction mass) is the real cost since every kilogram you bring with you has to be subtracted from your payload. Certainly the process would be technically complex and possibly dangerous, but what about spaceflight isn't. And yes, producing enough fuel for a return journey is likely to to take time but given the journey time to Mars it likely you'll want to stay there a few months anyway. Especially if the alternative is to stay there forever.

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Drone security project to go open source

Francis Boyle
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Backronym

of course.

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Francis Boyle
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No

but I couldn't find an acronym for Vegemite.

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Francis Boyle
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Acronym failure. I don't think they're even trying anymore. I mean it took me about 30 seconds to come up with High Assurance Military Electronic Global Guardian System and I'm definitely not DARPA certified.

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America to send space radar to Australia

Francis Boyle
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Alien

But

how would you fit a Chinese submarine in a swimming pool?

Icon, because if it wasn't the Chinese it must've being the aliens wot got 'im.

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Swedish boffins: An ICE AGE is coming, only CO2 can save us

Francis Boyle
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Re: Authoritative is as authoritative does....

"Mires and Peat" . Nah, not a patch on Bogs and Sod.

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Black Ops 2 blunder has Mass Effect on buyers

Francis Boyle
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Yes, off course it was the voice acting.

Nothing at all to do with the lesbian thing. . .

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