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* Posts by Francis Boyle

990 posts • joined 29 Jul 2007

Offensive, iconoclastic internet trolls will NOT be prosecuted, says DPP

Francis Boyle
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"Would have"

I find you're pour grammer* deeply offensive.

*Mruphry rules!

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Increased cell phone coverage tied to uptick in African violence

Francis Boyle
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Well it's not like

Europe has a history of tribal violence. Viking, Goths, Spartans, they all have an undeserved reputation for violence. And of course with the coming of the Nation State Europe got busy civilising the rest of the world not engaging in a series of increasingly bloody continent wide wars.

Seriously, you don't have to blame colonialism for all of the continent's woes to find the "violence - it's just the African way/the problem is the Africans"* sort of thinking deeply disturbing.

*As expressed upthread not in the comment above. I consider guilt-based history to be stupid and unproductive.

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Latest NASA ASTRONAUT class is HALF FEMALE

Francis Boyle
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Hipster misogyny

Cutting-edge stuff, folks.

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Microsoft lures buy-curious vixens, corduroys with a cheap fondle

Francis Boyle
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Stop

Have Microsoft

talked to HP?. I think they need tips on how to do this properly.

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PC makers REALLY need Windows 8.1 to walk on water - but guess what?

Francis Boyle
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And folks it's happened

We've finally found the one true anti-Eadon.

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Seagate reveals a NASty side, tears wraps off WD Red copycat disk

Francis Boyle
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Anything for a hook

Two NAS product have names beginning in "NAS' - it must be the work of lizard aliens or at least the Bilderberg Group.

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Amazon SLASHES hosted database prices

Francis Boyle
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Beat me by "that" much*

Have an upvote.**

*Where's the Maxwell smart icon?

**Have another for the username.

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Chrome and Firefox are planet-wreckers, IE cuddles dolphins

Francis Boyle
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I installed the prick measuring extension for Firefox

but I got rid of it when for some reason it sent me here.

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Now you can use your phone instead of your wallet at the ATM, too

Francis Boyle
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There trusted all right

That's the problem. . .

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Leaks point to new mystery Macs 'with Jony Ive's fingerprints on'

Francis Boyle
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Say what you like about "Metro"

and most of the things I would like to say about it are not appropriate even here, the flat style is not the problem. (The implementation on the other hand. . .)

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Pen+tablet bandwagon finally rolling, Nvidia leaps aboard

Francis Boyle
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A strange little secret

in the sense that nobody ever mentions it, is that the Nexus 7 actually does fairly decent pressure sensitivity. I only know of one app that supports it which is a pity because it is otherwise rather primitive. Now if only Adobe or Autodesk would pull their finger stylus out.

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EU boffins in plan for 'more nutritious' horsemeat ice cream

Francis Boyle
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Re: Yum Yum

Just proves people will eat everything if it reminds them of boobs.

More seriously, nail on the head.

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Doctor Who? 12th incarnation sought after Matt Smith quits

Francis Boyle
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While I shove this Dalek headfirst into a toilet bowl

Nah, it'll never work. You've got to leave some Daleks alive.

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Sacred islet Rockall defeats Brit adventurer

Francis Boyle
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Where's your sense of British history

Clearly the proper way to land on Rockall is in a harness hanging beneath a Harrier.

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'Leccy car biz baron Elon Musk: Thanks for the $500m, taxpayers...

Francis Boyle
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Re: Wow

"If only people stopped wasting money on all this technological research we could get on with the job of harvesting nuts and berries and hunting bison."

As long as you hunt the bison by the traditional method of stampeding them over a cliff. This spear development programme is a waste of nuts and berries.

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Francis Boyle
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Re: Wow

As long as you hunt the bison by the traditional method of stampeding them over a cliff. This spear development programme is a waste of nuts and berries.

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Hold our tiny silicon spheres, say gravity wave detection scientists

Francis Boyle
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By their logic

we should all be floating near the ceiling since gravity is just a distortion of spacetime.

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They WANT to EAT YOUR COMPUTER - welcome your ANT overlords

Francis Boyle
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Count yourself lucky

Given El Reg's record in entomology I'm surprised they weren't described as termites.

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Give porno danger classes to Brit kids as young as FIVE - parents

Francis Boyle
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"say families"

No, families don't say anything because they're not people. OK, I realise that it's just journalese but the only people who actually speak like that are ultra-conservative nutters who think the abolition of concubines was a bad idea.

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INSATIABLE black hole in Milky Way's heart crams hot gas into cavity

Francis Boyle
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or maybe just a 'metaphor'

Are we going to put and end to Shakespeare as well?

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PLAGUE of SEX CRAZED MONSTER GRASSHOPPERS to hit East Coast

Francis Boyle
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'orrible looking creatures

Each to his own I suppose, but I've always considered considered cicadas to be one of the more beautiful animals.

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Nokia teases world+dog with snap of new 4G Lumia 928

Francis Boyle
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I have a Pre with inductive charging

The coil's in the back cover. If it weren't for the outline molded in the plastic and the contacts you wouldn't know its there. It's a small thing but marvelously convenient It'salso one of the reasons I'm in no hurry to upgrade.

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Tiny fly-inspired RoboBee takes flight at Harvard

Francis Boyle
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Or

bee-eaters.

PS, won't someone tell this guy about El Reg standard units. I've no idea how big a US one cent coin is. Now if there had been a stick of linguine in the frame. . .

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So long, Hotmail: Remaining users migrated to Outlook.com

Francis Boyle
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Wasn't it Alexi Sayle

who said: "Never trust anyone who talks about 'workshops' unless they work in light engineering". Or was it 'solutions' and chemistry. In any case by that principle Palin is safe.

On topic: I gave up on Hotmail the moment it demanded my phone number. So long and no thanks for all the spam MS.

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Give it up for Live 8-bit: Muso devs raise dosh for Bletchley Park kids

Francis Boyle
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If only I still had

the 1950s tape recorder my father used to make the soud-tracks to his films.. I loved the sound, I loved the smell (yes), and in particular, being a visual rather than music person, I loved the glowing blue-green tube that served as a level indicator. Virtual's just not the same.

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Is this the first ever web page? If not, CERN would like to know

Francis Boyle
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According to wikipedia

the first picture on the web was les but maybe I've missed something in translation

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Google to Glass devs: 'Duh! Go ahead, hack your headset'

Francis Boyle
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Irony fail

You can't buy a Google Glass unless you can prove that you own, and frequently wear, a fedora.

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Apple's next OS X said to be targeted at 'power users'

Francis Boyle
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I agree

the problem's not skeuomorphism as such but "seriously cheesy design work" but it's still skeuomorphism. Most skeuomorphism is cheesy because unnecessary - think fake brick siding. It's just that in the digital world there it has a legitimate use case because the objects we are dealing with here have no default physical form. So symbolic skeuomorphism, such as semi-abstact icons, is good. It's the representational version that's cheesy and bad.

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Pirates scoff at games dev sim's in-game piracy lesson

Francis Boyle
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Hell

If I could stomach the idea of participating in the games business I might be tempted to try to sell some of my stuff rather than just giving it away. Why would I want to simulate running a games company. That's like simulating masturbation.

Also is the fictional game company really called "Pirate Harbor Inc." that's just setting yourself up to fail.

That said, pirating a game that sells for less than $10 is just pathetic.

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Brutally efficient galaxy SPITS OUT STARS at 'maximum rate'

Francis Boyle
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To be fair

furious baby-making is mainly a protestant sport these days. The catholics are too busy ignoring the pope.

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AT&T debuts 'Digital Life' robo-home and security tech

Francis Boyle
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I tried that

It didn't end well.

Who'd have guessed monkeys don't like to be smeared with PVA adhesive.

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It was the Reg what won it: Online Hitchhiker's Guide thriving

Francis Boyle
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I'm off there now

to write a wildly innacurate yet somehow entirely appropriate article about how the marketing department of Google. . .

Well, you know the rest.

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Ubuntu without the 'U': Booting the Big Four remixes

Francis Boyle
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Exactly

A century from now when people ask "what did Microsoft do" the amswer will be "they invented the taskbar".

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Master Beats: Why doesn't audio quality matter these days?

Francis Boyle
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Curious, Captain

I don't recall 1987 being in black and white.

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CURSE you, EINSTEIN! Humanity still chained in relativistic PRISON

Francis Boyle
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In fact

The rod could be completely mechanically incompressible (in the sense that the inter-atomic forces were effectively infinite) and the effect would still propagate at the speed of light since everything including forces propagates at the speed of light. The lightspeed limit is implemented at layer 1 of the universe.

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Chemical-dipped TRANSPARENT BRAINS bare all for science

Francis Boyle
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Coat

Scientists made my brain invisible

Now I've lost my mind.

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Boffins build ant-sized battery, claim it's tough enough to start a car

Francis Boyle
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Is that you Tony Blair?

I'd recognise you vision and foresight anywhere.

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'Australia's so big freight costs are high' claims don't add up

Francis Boyle
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Are you Gerry Harvey by any chance

because if postage costs were anything like your example eBay would have shut up shop in Australia long ago. Standard postage costs for a DVD (I just checked) - about $5. Lenses (I know from experience) - around $10-$12. I can't imagine where the $50 comes from - are you paying someone to ride shotgun? Your 10cm cube shipped from Brisbane to Perth, assuming the maximum weight of 20kg (what are you shipping - solid gold?) - $64.95 for standard shipping. Yes, you can pay a silly $200 plus for express shipping but that's utterly irrelevant to point of the article. For something more realistic - under $10.

Nice try Gerry, but remember - the internet makes it ridiculously easy for people to find out when they're being ripped off.

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Patent shark‘s copyright claim could bite all Unix

Francis Boyle
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Re: Ern Malley

Little known fact: every line of Ern Malley's poems is valid Perl code.

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Apple files patent for iPhone with wraparound display

Francis Boyle
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Re: @Def Is it just me?

But that black slab made us smart .

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Paypal struggles free of VMware lock-in, goes with OpenStack

Francis Boyle
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Re: Well there's your problem

Captain Scarlet:

What with being an Australian I already have a memberships card - not that it gets me in anywhere much these days. I'll think I'll stick with Imperio El Reg.

AC:

Probably not a reasonable assumption given this site's expansionist tendencies (see above). As for Frankie Boyle - I can only agree with your assessment of his comic talents and since there seems to be some brand confusion maybe I should sue (I was here first).

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Francis Boyle
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Well there's your problem

Some of us don't live in the UK.

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Francis Boyle
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Someone tell the banks

about this stuff. Paypal get a lot of flack but they at least they know what they're doing. Five days to make a simple transfer from a bank account to a Paypal account is not an example of knowing what you're doing.

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Televisions in living rooms now the fastest-growing internet platform

Francis Boyle
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Re: Headline Stats Fail

I seem to recall reading years ago that Klingon was the fastest growing language in the world which means that by now we should jachchoHmeH 'Iwraj penaghtaH.

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Swedish linguists nix new word after row with Google

Francis Boyle
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'search the innanet and end up with porn instead'

I. do. not. understand. 'instead'.

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Dongle smut Twitstorm claims second scalp

Francis Boyle
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But then Jimmy Carr is a bit of a berk

No offense you understand.

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Furious Stephen Fry blasts 'evil' Reg and 'TW*T' Orlowski

Francis Boyle
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Well I for one

am happy to wish Stephen Fry as much dick and head as he could possibly want. Not offering mind you, but whatever floats your boat. . .

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India may can low cost Aakash tablet project

Francis Boyle
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Re: When it was started, a $40 tablet was outlandishly low

The trouble with spending $40 on a tablet is that you're almost certainly going to end up with unreliable, barely usable crap. That's fine for someone in the first world who just wants a cheap disposable toy but when $40 represents a month's wages (Wikipedia: poverty in India) you want something that works and lasts (and has a decent warranty). Leaving it to the market can't ensure that.

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