* Posts by Francis Boyle

2739 publicly visible posts • joined 29 Jul 2007

The Rocky Planet Picture Show: NASA Mars InSight ready for launch

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I hope the drill's called

BRUCE.

Nvidia quickly kills its AMD-screwing GeForce 'partner program' amid monopoly probe threat

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That's odd

I've never had any trouble ensuring the graphics cards I've bought don't use an Nvidia chip.

Shocking. Lightning strike knocks out neuro patient's brain implant

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That's the problem - It isn't.

If the world were fair she would have got superpowers.

NASA lunar rover trundles to a meeting with Doctor Hacksaw and Mister Axe

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Re: More prospectors. More commercial partners.

I, for one, am always up for a low-G bar fight.

New York looks at California, drafts net neutrality legislation

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Don't you mean

"Yuge mess".

I've got way too much cash, thinks Jeff Bezos. Hmmm, pay more tax? Pay staff more? Nah, let's just go into space

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Re: Bill Gates....

I think you've been around long enough to realise that most of us here, as much as we like to hate on Microsoft, are prepared to give credit where credit is due.

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What?

You mean workers are people like corporations and not just a fungible resource?

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Re: Olds

Bezos is just pissing away the money on space-travel for rich people. What musk is doing, on the other hand, is the real deal.

NASA demos little nuclear power plant to help find little green men

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Re: Down Range

Are you Aquaman. Because if you're not you have nothing to worry about.

What could Facebook possibly do next to reassure privacy fears? Yup – make a dating app

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Re: Besides the privacy, not a bad idea

how many forms of dating can a finger provide?.

That's why you should use three.

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"Help, I Can't Stop Hooking Up With Trump Supporters"

These days I only have sex with women wearing MAGA caps. It's a lot cheaper than an SS uniform and works just as well.

It's not rocket science! Actually it is, and it's been a busy frickin week

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Sea launch

I wonder if this means that they've nabbed the assets of the now defunct Sea Launch company.

Paperback writer? Microsoft slaps patents on book-style gadgetry with flexible display

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Assbender?

From what I hear, yes he would.

Want to make a super-earth? Bring on the frikking lasers

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I'm not sure

this will be much help to Slartibartfast but impressive nonetheless.

Double double, soil and trouble, fire burn and heat shield bubble: NASA cracks rover, has dirty talk with ESA

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Now eggheads at both space agencies will together try to figure out how to get those rocks back to our home world.

I suggest putting a dummy hand complete with extended thumb on the end of the arm. There's bound to be a car passing by that they could flag down. (Note that, as with all hitch-hiking arrival times are not guaranteed.)

Court sends Telstra a truly premium bill, for AU$10 MEEELLION

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$10M for ripping off a 100 000 customers. So $100 per customer. Probably more than Telstra made from this little rort. I say good on the ACCC for getting a result.

Boss sent overpaid IT know-nothings home – until an ON switch proved elusive

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Was the boss Billy Connoly?

Because if it was he got one of his best routines out of it.

Astroboffins discover the stink of eggy farts wafting from Uranus

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Sometimes

Things just fall into place.

Cosmic prang probe: Euro space boffins to smash sats, virtually

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Re: Serious question.

That's the theory. As usual, the reality is a little messier. Guess when El Reg last reported on a launch gone wrong. That's right it was last Tuesday. (And you'll find plenty more where that came from by clicking on the 'science' tab.)

Hello DARKNESS, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again... about a 10,000-pixel alien-hunting camera

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It's a spectrograph not a camera

It's not like it going to produce anything that will end up on Instagram.

You're a govt official. You accidentally slap personal info on the web. Quick, blame a kid!

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Er, this is ignorance of the fact that someone did something stupid

A slight difference there.

Wow, braking news: Overworked, tired ride-sharing drivers declared a public health risk

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Everything's fallible by default

Human drivers are worst than that.

Boeing CEO takes aim at Musk’s Starman-in-a-Tesla stunt

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Yes, that's nicely succint

Though I think ""Go ahead, make my day" has a certain ring to it.

Boffins pull off quantum leap in true random number generation

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Unfortunately

The inherent bias towards stupidity rules that one out.

Microsoft's Pelican brief, MAID in Azure* and femtosecond laser glass storage

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I wouldn't use that process

The data always ends up degraded.

German sauna drags punters to court over naked truth

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Not to mention

those long knobby things sticking out of the water everywhere. I see where the couple got the inspiration.

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So what you're saying is "Down with this sort of thing"

Sorry Ted, but the day El Reg stops covering this sort of thing is the day I start to get my technology news elsewhere.

UK 'wife'-carrying champion named

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Billed as the most fun a person can have with a dead fish

But I think they should replace 'person' with 'person who isn't John Cleese'.

OpenAI challenges you to beat 1990s classic Sonic the Hedgehog using machine learning

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I'd Like to see them use the ET game

Yeah, I'm a sadist.

Watchdog growls at Tesla for spilling death crash details: 'Autopilot on, hands off wheel'

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I'm not sure

what "extra safety features" have to do with anything. The $3000 option is for the self-driving pack which, unsurprisingly, enables self-driving. It's software that does something useful and you pay for it. Are you arguing that self-driving is so much safer that Tesla are ethically obligated to provide the software for free?

Fatal driverless crash: Radar-maker says Uber disabled safety systems

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Better version

Self-driving cars Uber executives will always be inferior to good human drivers humans because they cannot think. Humans are able to anticipate potential risks. Self-driving cars Uber executives can only react to the lure of profit.

India: Yeah, we would like to 3D-print igloos on the Moon

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Nice of you

to suggest that people here wouldn't instantly recognise that picture.

UK's data watchdog seizes suspected Scottish nuisance caller's kit

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Obviously

Obama's birth certificate is fake and he was really born in Aberdeen. And he probably eats haggis as well, which we all know is classified as a bioweapon.

Good news: The only thing standing between NASA and $20bn is...

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No B-2s

but plenty of B-52s and other Bs (and Fs and whatever). The military-industrial complex goes back a long way.

Uber's disturbing fatal self-driving car crash, a new common sense challenge for AI, and Facebook's evil algorithms

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Shonk company desperately tries to play catch-up to the big boys

by any means possible. Corners are cut. Rules are bent. People look the other way. Other people die. capitalism in action.

YouTube banned many gun vids, so some moved to smut site

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"We will not be seeking any monetization from PornHub

and do not know what their monetization policies are"

I think you'll find a demonstration of their monetization policies at the end of most of their videos*.

*Lesbian content excepted.

Prof Stephen Hawking's ashes will be interred alongside Sir Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin

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er,

I'm sure Oengus is a just god and has space for them too.

MIT boffins build rubber robot, invade privacy of unsuspecting sealife

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Well

two fish-eye lenses might have been better.

Leaning tower of NASA receives last big arm

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Re: And the passenger in the shuttle ?!

Sorry Alistair, but and* Oxford comma goes before a conjunction. I suggest a comma whose absence radically changes the meaning of a sentence be called a Staines comma after your illustrious namesake.

*token mistake as required by all posts concerning grammar.

Fog off! No more misty eyes for self-driving cars, declare MIT boffins

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Why would level 4 be ruled out?

If it turns out that AVs can't cope with pedestrians then restricting them to areas where pedestrians don't have access (which is a subset of level 4) is the obvious solution.

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Re: FAIL

So Uber's system failed when it clearly shouldn't have. I think you're drawing the wrong conclusion here.

Uber breaks self-driving car record: First robo-ride to kill a pedestrian

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You're missing the point

Nothing I said implies that we need to apply airline service standards to AVs. Motor vehicles as they stand are extremely safe (because of, surprise, rigorous standards) - it's the roads and drivers that kill. The danger is those rigorous standards wont be applied is to the design of the software (because, hey it's just software and it can be fixed later).

Without rigorous standards we'll get consumer grade software running cars which would be a disaster. With it we won't get anything like perfection because roads are inherently unsafe but we can road travel much safer. And why shouldn't we? Something like one in ten thousand people die on the roads every year in developed countries. If those people were dying in a war there would be mass demonstrations. Yet we just accept it. I don't consider that remotely rational given how risk averse we are in other areas of life.

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Re: I knew this was coming...

I partly agree. Autonomous control systems for road vehicles need to be overseen with the same rigour as those for planes or trains. That said, the standards have to be imposed before AVs are made available to the public but not before development is complete. Too many bad laws have been made by politicians under pressure "to do something now".

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Re: This is my take on what might have happened

I'd be surprised if there haven't been accidents there before. That turning lane is far too narrow. You can't just draw a white line inside an existing lane and call the result a bicycle lane.

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Re: I wonder...

How about self-flying. One of the few justifiable uses of a "flying car" is as an ambulance.

He He He: Seagate's gasbag Exos spinner surges up to 14TB

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About time too

That VR porn nature documentaries takes up a lot of space.

UK's London Gatwick Airport boasts of driverless vehicle trial

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“shuttled between popular locations”

Yeah, I hear just under the left engine is a great place to hang out.

No, Stephen Hawking's last paper didn't prove the existence of a multiverse

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Re: Awesome

I'm not a fan of multiverses myself but you have to remember that there being infinite possibilities doesn't mean everything is possible.

Another day, another self-flying car pipe dream surfaces

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Re: That's all we need

And driven by a bloke named Gene.

You mean this collaboration isn't being called "Project Gene". And will turn out to be all a demented fantasy.

And since the resulting vehicle will almost certainly have four rotors they have to call it a Quattro" won't they.