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* Posts by Francis Boyle

987 posts • joined 29 Jul 2007

'HULC™' robot exoskeleton war-walker suit 'at gen 2.0'

Francis Boyle
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Paris Hilton

Oops

Forgot to make the obligatory "Paris because she can 'lift my luggage' any day"* joke.

*Not that she could. I'm more of a Salma Hayek kinda guy.

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LOST Vulture One PARIS spaceplane FOUND!!!

Francis Boyle
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The title

is obviously crying out for an "ON THE MOON" at the end - perhaps a subtle hint as to the direction of your next challenge?

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US raygun jumbo fluffs another test missile-blast attempt

Francis Boyle
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Built in liquid cooling

Putting that amount of power through a solid state system would indeed result in the parts getting a bit too hot for comfort, which is precisely why a chemical system was chosen. As long as the fuel is pumped through at a sufficient rate the apparatus can be kept to an acceptable temperature. That of course, as it turns out, is the easy part.

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Facebook comes down hard on Faceporn

Francis Boyle
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You forgot

the obligatory XKCD reference:

http://xkcd.com/624/

Because, er, lesbians.

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Fallout: New Vegas

Francis Boyle
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Sir, sir

Lucy said a bad word.

Grow up. You're reading a review of a game about killing zombies and you're upset because you read the word 'shit'.

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Dead baby taunting troll feels wrath of law

Francis Boyle
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If that's irony

Your name's Alanis.

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Vodafone moves 360 goalposts

Francis Boyle
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Subsidy? What subsidy?

An extended payment plan (with attendant lock-in) ain't no subsidy.

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OOo's put the willies up Microsoft

Francis Boyle
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Don't you mean

Last think I heard Sun Microsystems had become Oracle Corporation or some such nonsense, clearly flagging the usual commercial problem of "managers more interested in money making schemes and business rivalries than actually meeting user needs".

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Tony Curtis goes to grave with iPhone

Francis Boyle
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Wheel?

You'[re right. That's not even remotely the right shape.

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US consumers don't want web-enabled toasters

Francis Boyle
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Yes

But instead of an image of the virgin Mary on your toast you'll get an image of a woman who certainly isn't.

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Flying gyrocopter jump-jeep gets $3m from DARPA

Francis Boyle
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Hell

Given what this thing's likely to cost I'd expect Ms Fox to come bundled.

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Nuclear merchant ships could open up Arctic routes for real

Francis Boyle
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Public ignorance?

I see the loony greenies have noticed an article on this fairly minor website and begun shepherding their flocks of mindless followers here to make ignorant comments about reactors exploding and people glowing in the dark.

See what I did there.

Strangely, some of us who care about the environment are prepared to discuss the facts instead of simply dismissing anything that contradicts our preconceived ideas as the product of a propaganda conspiracy*.

*note to self: must really stop pretending that it's possible to debate conspiracy theorists.

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Sharp outs little'n'large e-mag tablets

Francis Boyle
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So Private

do you want your boots too big or too small? - old joke.

The correct answer is of course "I want seven inches".

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Sex Party proposes new classification system for Oz

Francis Boyle
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Or

about twenty minutes of Midsomer Murders.

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Sex, lies, and botnets: the saga of Perverted Justice

Francis Boyle
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Only if it's identity theft

Von Erk (great supervillian name there) merely pretended he had a different name and gender. And, well, a lot of other things no doubt, but in principle it's no different from a man pretending to be a brain surgeon to get a woman into bed. Jerky but, no, not illegal.

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Mozilla Labs dreams of projected keyboard phone

Francis Boyle
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I wish I could buy that phone

because I'm getting heartily sick of black slabs. These days, it's either a black slab, or a black slab with a little bump, or a black slab with a metal frame. I know the point of minimalism is that it's never supposed to go out of fashion but, in this case, I wish it would.

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US forces drop dead drug-poison killer mice from helicopters

Francis Boyle
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Grenade

Well Lewis did say they were zombie mice

and according to the "documentaries" I've watched reproducing is what zombies do best.

Hand grenade, due to it being an effective, if messy way, of stopping zombies reproducing.

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World's first pedal-powered ornithopter takes flight in Canada

Francis Boyle
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Stop

Hold on

It's not exactly as if anyone here is disputing the quality of the engineering that went into this thing - It's a beautiful piece of work whatever it does. But, since it's not unknown for engineers, or their PR teams to claim to have achieved something they merely aimed for so, I think some degree of skepticism is healthy here. Save your scorn for people holding forth on the finer points of string theory.

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Over The Air: Losing drones and forging bus tickets

Francis Boyle
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Please tell

What is an iPope. Obviously not an app for arresting the Pope since that would have a somewhat larger target audience.

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Best Buys: Budget DSLR Cameras

Francis Boyle
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Answers fron a Pentax DSLR owner

1. That's about it.. There's a focus indicator should you need it though Pentax DSLRs tend to have pretty good viewfinders and you can always buy third party screens with microprism/split prism focusing aids.

2. Pentax M lenses stop down to meter and stop down to shoot on modern cameras so you don't get fully auto exposure but you don't need to bother fiddling with the aperture ring that's only for screw-mount lenses if you want to be really old school.

Or you could buy a Canon and sell me the 85mm lens (I already have the pancake!). Seriously, old Pentax glass fetches a good price these days since it's both high quality and very usable. Your lenses have probably doubled or tripled their value in the last few years.

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Godly Aussie MP accused of being online 'smut' junkie

Francis Boyle
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Don't actually believe it.

I mean if it were any other god-botherer, yes, but Nile is a certified grade A sex-phobic nutter who in the words of one of his followers thinks "genitals are rude" and no doubt a little bit "scary" too.

BTW, El Reg, the pandering to the religious right thing is over. The agenda for the next three years is pandering to anyone who has ever owned an Akubra. (No, don't get too excited down the back. That's a type of hat not a Bulgarian airbag accessory.)

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'Jetpack' inventors: US military showing interest. Honest

Francis Boyle
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An "unmanned" jetpack

Pure brilliance.

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LG to show 31in OLED 3D TV at IFA

Francis Boyle
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And I can't wait

for the ads that will tactfully explain just how rubbish LCD really is.

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OED goes the way of all flesh paper

Francis Boyle
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A sad day?

Probably not. The OED has some claim to be the world's first collaborative IT project. As such going on line is rather a coming of age. Pity though that it's a little bit more expensive than Linux .

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Danish rocketeers poised to reach for the skies

Francis Boyle
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Paris Hilton

Hitch a ride on Paris, perhaps

Because I'd like . . nah not going there.

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Robocopter combat cargo skyhook chosen by US forces

Francis Boyle
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Where else

would you put the three (count 'em*) vertical stabilisers? So, stability, stability and stability - pretty useful in something as inherently unstable as a helicopter.

*You can't actually in the article photograph but they're there.

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Australian cave tour guide offered in Klingon

Francis Boyle
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I see what you did there

You included a deliberate mistake just to smoke out the true fanbois.

Well, I won't play your game by pointing out Scotty wasn't the captain of the Jenolan. I'm a Doctor Who fan I tell ya.

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UK.gov drops Home Access scheme

Francis Boyle
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I wonder too

how many times you've fiddle your expenses/cheated on your partner/knocked down little old ladies in the street for their pension money. Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not saying you did any of those things - I don't have any evidence. I'm just wondering, you know . . .

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Lindsay Lohan released from screaming lesbian ordeal

Francis Boyle
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Dammit

My favourite film that doesn't exist. Though if it did I'd really hope that it didn't feature the the talented miss Lohan.

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Futurologist defends 'malevolent dust' warning

Francis Boyle
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Just looked at it

and I see what you mean. The man has an uncanny ability to predict 1995 Though for some reason he failed to foresee the flashing GIF.

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Papal crackdown on bare-kneed tourists sparks hypocrisy claims

Francis Boyle
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Not So Quick

The Catholic Church has over many years shown an institutional tolerance of child abuse in its ranks that goes far beyond mere bad judgement. Time and time again the response of the hierarchy to the discovery of a paedophile priest was to move him to a new area where his crimes were unknown thus materially facilitating his continuing criminal behaviour. In my book that's 'institutional child abuse' as Christoph put it. Will Catholics be angered by the charge. I damn well hope so. Any Catholic who isn't angry and demanding an account from their leaders stands accused of utter hypocrisy.

As for walking away from the Catholic Church. Yes you can. There's even a formal procedure for it. http://www.smh.com.au/world/losing-my-religion-20100723-10oq6.html

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Google Nexus One spends dying days as dev phone

Francis Boyle
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Seriously folks, it was an exercise in leverage

By your logic an armed robbery is only successful if someone gets shot.

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Gay teen mag closure sparks privacy fears

Francis Boyle
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Actually

it was an incredibly lame attempt at humour/trollery as indicated by the presence of a smiley. If you didn't see it you didn't miss anything.

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Australian firewall wobbles under pressure from all sides

Francis Boyle
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Give a damn?

The British people just tossed out a government largely because of this sort of high-handed illiberal arrogance. (It obviously wasn't because of any love for the Tories.) If Kevin Rudd doesn't want to go the same way as Gordon Brown he'd be well advised to bin this nonsense immediately.

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Survey outs Britain as nation of tech twits

Francis Boyle
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Joke

I think I need to be convinced

that Lewis PR is not an excuse for Lewis Page to wander around with a clipboard doing a bit of 'social networking' - It'd make as much sense as any alternative.

Joke alert because it is - either way you look at it.

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Russia assigns $16.7m for nuclear spaceships

Francis Boyle
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I don't think it's that easy

If by space you mean low Earth orbit you'll still have a cloud of radioactive material raining down on the planet. On the other hand, if you launch from a safe distance you're faced with the problem of getting what is unavoidably a massive vehicle to that point using chemical propulsion. That's not a trivial thing to do with current tech (and budgets). There are a variety of nuclear space propulsion technologies that are promising and potentially realisable in the medium term but the Orion drive isn't one of them.

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Francis Boyle
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Multiple atmospheric nuclear explosions

per launch. I'm broadly pro-nuclear but I'm not crazy. Project Orion was cool, perhaps, in a mad scientist sort of way but not safe, clean or indeed in any way cheap.

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Francis Boyle
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"Nuclear Wessels"

in space. I'd like to see that.

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Audi confirms e-tron production plans

Francis Boyle
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That is one ugly

front end. Looks more like a back end. The rest of it ain't too bad but I really can't see Gene Hunt hooning around in one.

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West Country pagans tie horses in knots

Francis Boyle
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Dissapointed

I was hoping the IT angle would be that the perps were using the latest iPhone app iKnotMagick (works even better on an iSlate - those knots can be tricky) but instead all we get is some lame social networking reference. Must try harder el Reg.

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Labour MP experiences nasty video shock horror

Francis Boyle
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+1 from me

But to be far I always thought that the C of E was pretty queasy about that sort of thing - not really the done thing in polite society and all that. No, for the S&M deal you really have to go Catholic. A lifetime of guilt and fear really adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the sexual experience.

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Star Trek to boldly go (again)

Francis Boyle
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It's been done

with Section 31 in DS9. Not to mention that the original series had a pretty distrustful attitude to government in general in that just about every second episode seemed to be a utopian libertarian parable.

In general I think the principle should be: "Star Trek has already done that". Which pretty much is the problem.

(Oh, and there was Insurrection but I try to forget that.)

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Police cuff citizens for videotaping arrests

Francis Boyle
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Did you actually read the article?

The police are using a law intended to prevent the secret recording of private conversations to prevent the entirely legal practice of recording in public places. Read the linked article if you are in doubt. The charges aren't holding up in court. (Or to be precise, according to the court, secret recording in public falls under the law - overt recording is entirely legal.)

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'Fizzy phone' tops wacky handset list

Francis Boyle
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Finally a use

For that muck in a red can.

OK, another use - I seem to remember Mythbusters demonstrating that it's quite useful for cleaning chrome. I've heard that people drink it as well but that just has to be myth.

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'God help our smartphones,' vicar prays

Francis Boyle
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You forgot

4. God exists, and cares about humans' daily lives but isn't particularly impressed by quaint medieval superstitions.

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China pinches thousands for pron

Francis Boyle
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No one is for porn

You're new here aren't you?

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Spirit rover clocks up six years on Mars

Francis Boyle
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Coat

Sorry, that won't work

It seems that NASA failed to equip the rovers with a main deflector array. And as you know, everything involves reconfiguring the main deflector array.

I'll get my coat - the red and white one specifically designed to hide the middle-age spread.

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Arise, Sir Peter of Middle Earth

Francis Boyle
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Why not?

as long as they give Baldrick one to.*'

*For services to cunning plans.

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Legal highs now illegal

Francis Boyle
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Is this a clue?

amanfromMars makes almost complete sense when commenting on a drug story.

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Inmate gets 18 months for thin client prison hack

Francis Boyle
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Come on

The inmates just wanted to send the employees a few Christmas cards.

Seriously, considering the potential for harm I think he got off very lightly.

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