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* Posts by Francis Boyle

1022 posts • joined 29 Jul 2007

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REGULAR FISTING is GOOD for your HEALTH, says respected surveyor

Francis Boyle
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I only ever use the Vulcan salute

I suspect I might be missing some subtext here.

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BEST BATTERY EVER: All lithium, all the time, plus a dash of carbon nano-stuff

Francis Boyle
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Assuming

they're not being deliberately misleading and are quoting the efficiency at 100 cycles because that's what they've tested (rather than because, say, it drops off a cliff at 101 cycles) I'd suspect that at 1000 cycles it's still pretty good. (99% efficiency is good for any technology - 99.9% is better.) But as always with these new battery technologies it's wait and see.

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Pinterest diversity stats: Also pale and male (but not as much as Twitter)

Francis Boyle
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I don't know

but you might start by looking at the demographic stats in the country where your "perfect company" is located.

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When the robot rebellion comes, this Jibo droid will BORE you to death

Francis Boyle
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Siri

on a stick. But definitely no treat.

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Huge FOUR-winged dino SPREAD LEGS to KILL – scientists

Francis Boyle
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Proof

that Bert Rutan has/will invent(ed) a time machine.

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Read the proposed US ASTEROIDS Act to green-light mining IN SPAAAACE

Francis Boyle
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Re: I wonder how many manhours and expense ....

Didn't you know, they outsource it to the El Reg headline writers. It's a nice little sideline.

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Phone charging log helps to convict murderer

Francis Boyle
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Re: Is it really metadata?

Well if you wanted to be ultra-pedantic you could argue that any data on a system that is not (directly or indirectly) user-generated constitutes metadata but have an upvote anyway.

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DRONE WARS: Killers, spies? Nah, they're IDEAL for snapping pics of hot models

Francis Boyle
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The pics would be useless too

Who wants to see just the edges of a hot models?

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LOHAN seeks stirring motto for spaceplane mission patch

Francis Boyle
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or maybe

Per ardua add alcohol.

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Delaware pair nabbed for getting saucy atop Mexican eatery

Francis Boyle
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Looks more likely to me

that they were on the awning of the pizzeria next door (much more visible, easy access via the conveniently located windows, news reports are always wrong about something) so can we please restart this thread with Italian jokes instead.

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Dead letter office: ancient smallpox sample turns up in old US lab

Francis Boyle
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Time to arm

the fuel air self destruct system. They do have one, don't they?

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Reg reader fires up Pi-powered anti-cat garden sprinkler system

Francis Boyle
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Re: smashing idea, but...

Well the paintball sentry gun in the video above appears to have a colour rejection mode so I suppose you'd just have to paint your dog blue.

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Francis Boyle
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Come on

if if doesn't work against an alien what chance does it have against a cat.

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Doctor Who season eight scripts leak online

Francis Boyle
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I'd like to see the day

when Top Gear confines its insults to the Welsh.

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F1? No, it's Formula E as electric racing cars hit the track

Francis Boyle
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Re: Battery Times

"Fact is Hydrogen is the cheapest & cleanest plus fastest Tech we have today"

Pity it's efficiency is on a par with an electric powered steam engine.

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Shine on you crazy diamond: Distant dwarf may hide space jewel

Francis Boyle
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Re: But what I want to know is...

Appraise it. They're probably working on sending a Death Star to disintegrate it. Can't have the price of a common form of one of the most abundant elements in the universe fall to it's natural level.

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Is there too much sex and violence on TV?

Francis Boyle
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watching avidly on the tellies in their room

Don't you mean snuggled up under the covers with their phone watching Porntube.

The relevance of this comment is left as an exercise for the rader.

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NASA pulls FLYING SAUCER out of Pacific ocean

Francis Boyle
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Well I've heard

it's Lego all the way at NASA.

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Shrew'd boffins spot TINY ELEPHANT species

Francis Boyle
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Oh dear

El Reg tries to avoid being sexist and ends up being (mildly) sexist and racist at the same time.

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DAMN you El Reg, CALL ME A BOFFIN, demands enraged boffin

Francis Boyle
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I'd like to see you say that to

Tommy Flowers

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WORLD HISTORY in SELFIES: So AMAZEBALLS your EYES will EXPLODE

Francis Boyle
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Impossible

Cracked is actually funny.

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California gives green light to test self-driving cars on public roads

Francis Boyle
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Dammit, it's always Hal

Why don't I ever get the sexy female AI?

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BEAM ME UP SCOTTY: Boffins to turn PURE LIGHT into MATTER

Francis Boyle
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A Tüftler

sounds like someone who would appreciate a bit of hot photon-on-photon action.

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NASA preps flying saucer ballocket flight

Francis Boyle
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A website where you can make playmobil reconstructions

sounds pretty damn good. O, the joys of being fifteen again.

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Time-rich Brit boffin demos DIY crazytech WOLVERINE talons

Francis Boyle
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I don't think

I'd let him anywhere near my balloon.

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A first-world problem solved: Panoramic selfies, thanks to Huawei's Ascend P7

Francis Boyle
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Maybe Huawei could rename itself 'Kodak'

It's supposedly easily pronounceable in every language on the planet and isn't been used for much these days.

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Stephen Hawking: The creation of true AI could be the 'greatest event in human history'

Francis Boyle
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Re: Motivation

Unfortunately what it wants to do will be determined by its creators and in ways that they don't even begin to understand (cf. children). And that's reason to be afraid.

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Lost treasure of Atari REVEALED

Francis Boyle
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It's New Mexico

so it probably means they were really looking for $80M in cash buried in plastic barrels.

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Slip your finger in this ring and unlock your backdoor, phone, etc

Francis Boyle
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Can I get it as a nipple ring

or even a prince albert. "No officer, I swear I was just unlocking my phone".

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Apple patent LOCKS drivers out of their OWN PHONES

Francis Boyle
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It's the new Apple masterplan - patent everything they think Google might be going to invent.

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Most Americans doubt Big Bang, not too sure about evolution, climate change – survey

Francis Boyle
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What about it?

Some people are Mormons, others are Sufis but this study wasn't about that. By all means cling to your comforting consequence-free beliefs but the issue here is precisely that non-evidence based belief does have significant real-world consequences.

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Boffins brew graphene in kitchen blender

Francis Boyle
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Re: So not actually making graphene then.

What I was thinking. I suppose that at four or five layers even a tiny speck is essentially a very thin sheet and has all the nice electrical properties but you're not going to be making a cat's hammock let alone a space elevator with specks.

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NASA finds first Earth-sized planet in a habitable zone around star

Francis Boyle
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Re: general ignorance question

Well, you're half way to aperture synthesis interferometry. Useful for increasing angular resolution of measurements. See the Square Kilometer Array for an example of the technique at radio frequencies.

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Francis Boyle
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Lazy troll

is lazy

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Win gorgeous strap-on, enter whole new world with Reg compo

Francis Boyle
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Re: How can I be the first one to say that another sort of strap-on

Well since this thing is 3D it's probably the perfect way to experience having your eye poked out with the other sort.

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Feast your PUNY eyes on highest resolution phone display EVER

Francis Boyle
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Porn

cat videos, and photos of cupcakes on Pinterest. Probably in that order.

Something for everyone, really.

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Look out, bankers! It's Lily Cole and her (Brit taxpayer-funded) WISH-PRINTING ATM

Francis Boyle
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I watched the Mythbusters 'impossible' episode yesterday

It was all about squeezing shit into bags. And pigs.

It was, of course, not relevant to anything here.

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Russian deputy PM: 'We are coming to the Moon FOREVER'

Francis Boyle
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Putin's ego

FOUND ON THE MOON

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Why won't you DIE? IBM's S/360 and its legacy at 50

Francis Boyle
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Old enough

to remember the mechanical calculator - the preferred business machine for most of the twentieth century. Slide rules where for science and engineering types.

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The IT Crowd tops BAFTA nominations with four nods

Francis Boyle
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Re: Disappointing

Chris Morris may be a genius but when you need someone to say "God Damn These Electric Sex Pants" Matt Berry's your man.

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NSW to expand e-voting

Francis Boyle
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Shit

"Java-based electoral software" is a phrase that should never have reason to exist.

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Tesla firms hot bottoms: TITANIUM armor now bolted to Model S e-cars

Francis Boyle
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Re: Historical

Nice plan AC. Edison famously killed an elephant but I think you might usefully update that with a giraffe.

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EXPOSED: bizarre quantum sibling LOVE TRIANGLE

Francis Boyle
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I read that as the Univesity of Woolloomooloo

and couldn't understand why the experiment didn't involve Bruce and Sheila.

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They ACCUSED him of inventing Bitcoin. Now, Nakamoto hires lawyer to CLEAR his name

Francis Boyle
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Your average ambulance chaser

works on a no win - no fee basis.

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Francis Boyle
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Re: Newsweek? That's still around?

Back. Or so I heard, though I can't imagine it'll be for long.

Zombie Newsweek, just waiting for a spade to the head.

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Daring danger-drone dives into VOLCANIC eruption – what happens next has to be seen

Francis Boyle
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Nice video

Shame about the headline.

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US govt: You, ICANN. YOU can run the internet. We quit

Francis Boyle
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Re: Managing names

1. The Skydrive case was a straightforward trademark dispute - nothing specifically to do with domain names. (Skydrive could have being at skydrive.microsoft.com - Rupert would still have been upset.)

2. Ditto. Companies need to protect their trademarks even if sometimes they do it badly.. (There's nothing ironic about competing interests - it's just how the world works.)

3. Get your own domain name - they practically give them away these days.

The domain name system is not without it's problems but it's nothing that can't be fixed.

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Police pen shortage threatens Irish public order

Francis Boyle
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Actually I did expect better.

I expected at least one penis pun.

(edit: thanks AC below.)

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Show more CANADIAN-MADE PORN, insists Canadian government

Francis Boyle
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The Quebecóis captions

Are just the same loop of ooohs and aaarhs but with more accents. (And also the occasional mention of 'gros seins' but I wouldn't know about that.)

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