216 posts • joined 28 Jul 2007
Am I the only one here who uses MS Security Essentials and Malwarebytes?
Re: @ Stern Fenster -- OK so let me get this straight.
If they were able to count to twenty, would you then congratulate them on their tremendous feet?
(So many puns, so little time...)
Re: " trojanise " !
Do you "butter" your bread? Do you "rake" your lawn? Does your mechanic "lube" your car?
The facility of "verbizing/verbising" a noun is one of the strengths of the English language. Even though I just now invented a word, everyone with at least two functioning neurons grasped my meaning.
Of course, being a foreigner -- I was born in and live in the US -- explains why my "ability with English is limited."
Well, it could be true
Is "MOULDY DICK" an STD?
Giving you the Dickens
Some years ago, a freshly-deceased whale appeared in the Thames. Not wanting that whale meat to go to waste, London's butchers turned it into sausages.
"It was the beast of Thames, it was the wurst of Thames."
(So many puns, so little time...)
I don't know...
...if the looming extinction of salamanders would be a good thing or a bad thing.
I guess that I'm just newtral.
Re: Does it follow
Do you remember the old Michael Caine thrillers, in which the name of the character that he played was "Harry Palmer?"
More forbidden humor
I have an Ebola joke for you.
Oh, never mind -- you probably won't get it.
Something to ponder
Could raptors be trained to do an in-air flash mob against small drones used by government agencies?
"...the icy, snowball-like 67P..."
They just won't let go of the failed "dirty snowball" comet model, will they?
Re: Emerging markets
Have you heard about the support organization MDA -- Mothers Against Dyslexia?
How low can you go?
Right now, Newegg is selling dual-core Irulu 7" Android tablets for forty bux. Six months from now, they will be quad-core at the same price point.
In short, tablets are now a commodity, and Microsoft and other major manufacturers can't complete in that market.
"Of course they have competitive pressure, they have to deliver new innovative functionality to keep abreast of the ever changing mobile market..."
That also applies to brassiere manufacturers.
If all goes well...
...MAVEN will finally provide the definitive answer to that age-old question:
"Do Martians fart?"
Re: "pre-human ape-men"
"Hi, I'm Dennis, this is my brother Dennis, and this is my other brother Dennis."
"...It's really trying to go into the middle..."
Q: Why did the American chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the middle.
Re: "Only terrorists want privacy. Apparently."
GCHQ should investigate el reg for enabling terrorism.
By providing a check box for “Post anonymously?” el reg is enabling terrorists to hide their identity.
But wait – there's more! By automatically assigning “Anonymous Coward” as the name of anyone who checks that box, el reg is also enabling identity theft.
Am I the only one who is smart enough to have figured these things out?
el reg is a criminal terrorist organization. Pass it on.
I just can't help it, folks
I suspect that some of the resourceful porn sites remain unblocked.
You know -- the ones that are really eager beavers.
The total surveillance society
The reason that CCTV cameras are ubiquitous is that "the authorities" are paranoid. They don't like us, they don't trust us, and they feel the need to watch us continuously.
And now they want to install always-on cameras (and microphones) in our cars.
For those who favor this abomination, please consider that if you can access the camera in your car from your smartphone, then the authorities can use their own spy kit to do the same.
Moreover, with their spy kit, they will be able to access the navigation controls. They will be able to force your car to the side of the road -- or into a brick building at high speed.
"...a tiny piece of bluetack which can be smeared over the camera for privacy..."
That will be prohibited by law. The charge will be "tampering," probably a felony.
Re: Another "invention"
"Hopefully this will never find public acceptance..."
It doesn't have to find public acceptance -- it will be government mandated.
Re: In other news....
"...What next, Bog rolls with cameras to ensue we don't use more than two sheets at a time?"
No need for such a device in my loo. To save money, I always only use two sheets at a time.
Yep -- I'm a cheap shit.
(Well, somebody had to say it!)
A different take on Snowden
What good is it to construct a total surveillance police state to scare the citizenry into compliance, if the citizenry doesn't know about it?
Snowden is neither a hero nor a traitor. He's a "Big Brother Is Watching YOU" billboard.
He's a psyop.
If the perp managed to get out of the way fast enough, would he be (I'm SO ashamed!) a Dart Evader?
Re: Software ought to be goods
"Kid you not, there is even a law in the next county prohibiting men from farting in Public. The penalty is 10 days jail."
I have a work-around for that:
1) Practice farting silently, until you are consistent.
2) Only fart in crowded elevators, and then, like everyone else, gaze around, in an attempt to identify the culprit.
Things used to be simpler
I used to use "incorrect" as my universal password. That way, if I spaced out and entered the wrong password, the site would tell me, "Your password is incorrect."
You got it wrong
It was a church news story, not a church mews story.
At least, you got the cat-echism right. What, though, about the dog-ma?
"the lower quality option?"
Are you trying to gilt-trip them?
Re: GnuTLS considered harmful ..
"What's a gnu?"
"Oh, not much -- whatsa new with you?"
You deserved that one, you know.
(You can never find a wildebeest icon when you really really really need one!)
In 1968 or thereabouts, a cartoon in Playboy showed a shepherd, sitting, with his back against a tree, playing his flute. Nearby stood a sheep, winking at him!
Stop me, before I pun again
Of course, he got caught.
His riddles let the cat out of the bag.
Re: Flappy Byrds
Will I be allowed to play it right away?
Or will I have to wait for my "Turn Turn Turn?"
Will paying it get me "Eight Miles High?"
Or will I have to leave a turn unstoned?
Gifts can be rescinded
If Pope Francis didn't like an email that you sent to him, would he then excommunicate you?
Re: Pope in believing in God shocker
"Man made the internet faster"
And he did it, typing with only one hand.
So call me a curmudgeon
We've all seen the bumper sticker
HANG UP AND DRIVE
I've often had the urge to shout
HANG UP AND WALK
"Why would my computer have a microphone?
"It's a computer, not a phone."
A computer isn't a typewriter, and yet you can compose documents on it.
A computer isn't a post office box, and yet you can send and receive mail on it.
A computer isn't a jet plane, and yet you can visit Paris and tour the Louvre on it.
A computer isn't a CD player, and yet you can listen to CDs on it.
A computer isn't a DVD player, and yet you can watch DVDs on it.
A computer isn't a TV set, and yet you can watch TV on it.
A computer isn't a digital voice recorder, and yet you can dictate into it.
A computer isn't a videophone, and yet you can have video chats and teleconferencing on it.
A computer isn't a music studio, and yet you can do multi-track mixing and recording on it.
A computer isn't a drafting table, and yet you can do architectural drawings on it.
With the right hardware, built-in, added in, or plugged in, and the right software, a computer can emulate any number of dedicated devices.
Yes, even a phone.
Re: Uh oh
"...It boggles the mind that they would produce what is clearly a nice looking device and then skimp on the actual bits inside the case."
I consider it highly likely that the Lenovo Yoga 10 has exactly the same number of "actual bits inside the case" as every other 16GB/32GB Flash - 1 GB RAM tablet.
(OUCH! Don't kick!)
Up and coming
There's a deluge of Android tablets coming in from China. They're cheap, and they're not junk.
Go to eBay, type in irulu, and see examples for yourself.
Top-of-the-line is a 9.7" iPad lookalike and workalike. Dual core 1.5 GHz CPU, Android 4.2.2, 8 GB NAND, 1 GB DDR3 RAM, 10-point multi-touch capacitive screen, 6000 mAh battery. Clamshell case with keyboard. Resolution is 1/4 of the iPad -- "only" 1024 X 768, which was the default resolution of 17" (16" actual) CRT monitors. Google Playstore. One year warranty.
Are the specs as good as those of the iPad? Nope. Are they good enough? Yep.
And it's only $140. Add $25 for a 32 GB micro SD card, and laugh at the iPad fanbois and their empty wallets.
You'll also find 10.1", 9" and 7" tablets, at even lower prices. Given the state of the world's economy, these tablets are gonna be big news in the channel this year.
BTW, I have no economic connection to the manufacturers or to the vendors.
The Internet is too dangerous
People should get their illicit drugs the old-fashined way -- on the street, from their friendly neighborhood dope pusher:
Here's the IT connection
I don't understand the popularity of "fart apps." Their simulation, being only auditory, qualifies them as "crippleware."
Who needs expensive high tech? The only "fart app" that the human body needs is a bowl of chili. Unike its cyber equivalent, it implements the stench feature.
Moreover, a skillful human can supress the auditory component, escaping blame for the odoriferous component and possibly shift the blame onto someone else.
Why be a Glasshole, when you can be an asshole?
Who can resist?
"DANGER: RADIOACTIVE" label = "WET PAINT" sign
Why is it...
...that the FBI hasn't been able to pin the tail on the CryptoLocker donkey?
Stop bashing Vista
MS marketing insisted on Vista's being released before it was ready. That's ancient history.
With two Service Packs under its belt, plus the monthly updates, Vista no longer deserves to be viewed with contempt. The operational differences between Vista and Win7 are insignificant.
I have two circa-2007 laptops -- a Compaq and a Gateway, each of which came with Vista. HP released Win7 drivers, so I upgraded to Win7. Gateway didn't, so I stayed with Vista.
What Vista has going for it over Win7 is that its desktop layout -- Start button, Launch bar, Taskbar and Tray -- is identical to that of XP. Its familiarity is comfortable. The only real learning curve is the menu system, which takes all of two seconds, before the user enthuses, "Wow! Neat!" Vista will continue to be supported until April, 2017.
Next spring, when it is time for clients to upgrade from XP, I will show them my two laptops and let them decide on which Windows version that they prefer.
Go here to find out about Tails:
For the personal or SOHO user, there is no better anonymity and security solution available.
I just can't help it, folks
Some years back, I picked up a leopard-print T-shirt.
I was lucky to find it. Among all of the other designs, it was hard to spot.
"iQueue ... Punters line up outside Glasgow's Apple Store this morning"
"iQueue ... Punsters line up outside Glasgow's Apple Store this morning"
There -- fixed it for you.
I'm wise to you folks
You're trying to get my goat, aren't you?
Yes, it is:
"Did they just happen to have one knocking about or did someone bring in one from home?"
A researcher's lady friend tossed it out, because it chipped her teeth.
Re: Why are people using Tor?
It seems to be a common human foible that those who resent any intrusion into their own privacy regard others with the same attitude as suspicious. There's also the authoritarian attitude of a certain fascist pig corporate CEO that if one doesn't want anyone else to know what he is doing, then maybe he shouldn't be doing it.
Why then, in our real lives, do we have doors and locks and curtains and drapes and safes and...? Why then, in our online lives, should we not avail ourselves of their cyber equivalents?
Privacy requires no justification. Privacy, for its own sake, is a fundamental human right.
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