"An Israeli and an Iranian walked into a police station together..." would make a terrific lead-in to a shaggy dog story.
259 posts • joined 28 Jul 2007
This is an IT site
Puns should be encrypted.
(Take that, you amateurs!)
Re: Some pretty funny stuff in here
I could probably cobble together an odor sensor, plugged into a PC's USB port, with a program to monitor it, that would sound a klaxon, every time that my cat takes a dump in her litter box, just as a similar setup could tell me when to water my plants.
My question, though, is, “Why?”
Wouldn't a regular schedule, with the self-discipline to follow it, accomplish the same thing?
Doesn't anyone comprehend that Rube Goldberg contraptions were a joke?
A convict's lady friend...
...directs the drones.
Yep-- she's the heroin heroine!
(There's a "nasty crack" pun in there somewhere.)
Drones are dropping drugs into prisons...
..,and corrupt guards resent the competition!
(Helicopter icon in lieu of drone icon.)
I just can't help it, folks
Google translated the festival's slogan as "Eating out is fun!'
Re: The word 'Microsoft'
I've always wanted to shout "Theatre" in a firehouse.
I infer that you don't believe that Microsoft reads the tech press.
Well, they do, and as soon as they read about the latest trick to thwart the “encouraged upgrade” to Windows 10, then they engineer a new way to thwart the thwart!
Re: MS are idiots
If you dual boot in the usual way, it alters the MBR – the Master Boot Record – on your hard drive. I infer that the Windows 10 “update” “repaired” the MBR to only boot into Windows 10.
Instead, why not look into EasyBCD?
It's free for personal and non-commercial use. (I am not in any way affiliated with the company.)
It's a Windows program that works by replacing the standard boot loader with its own boot loader, not by altering the MBR. If you choose to uninstall it, then it restores the original boot loader.
There are two Windows programs that I use on a daily basis for which there are not adequate Linux equivalents. Being able to choose to boot into Windows 7 or Linux Mint 17.2 makes my life work.
It's also a good way to wean people off Windows and into Linux, by keeping Windows available as a “security blanket.”
Re: Now there's a freudian slap if ever I saw one...
Freudian slip: An undergarment worn by a cross-dressing psychoanalyst
Who are the real pervs?
The downloaders or the uploaders?
Is having legal unlimited access to kiddie porn a perk of being an FBI agent?
I thought about entering such a contest, once a pun a time...
The gist of the article
No penis is an island.
Gettin' me coat...
Don't slight the penguin
"The open-source software is available for Android and iOS gadgets, plus a desktop app for Windows and OS X machines..."
It's also available for Linux.
Oh, the shame
Now world+dog is gonna find out that I tried to link up with a dwarf bisexual Carmelite nun foot fetishist!
If onIy I hadn't been so desperate. I will never live it down.
I just can't help it, folks
"...If, on the other hand, the attacker is North Korea, then the military should probably get involved..."
Have they escalated cyber warfare to NORKlear weapons?
Gettin' me coat...
Re: Birds of a feather
Snowden's revelations are not a threat to national security. The purpose was to scare us ordinary citizens, to keep us in line, by telling us that the NSA monitors every aspect of our lives.
It's called a psychological operation – psyop for short.
Does anyone really believe that, in pre-Snowden days, a person intent on committing a terrorist act didn't already assume that his phone was tapped, that his emails were intercepted, etc. and thus took measures – effective or not – to evade surveillance?
Birds of a feather
What good does it do to construct an all-pervasive surveillance system to keep the citizenry compliant, if the citizenry doesn't know about it?
Snowden is neither a hero nor a traitor. Rather, he is a psyop.
Want proof? Just like that other phony, Assange, he fails the 9/11 litmus test.
@ Greg J Preece
Is it beyond the pale to imagine that Microsoft might possibly consider stealthily including a"fix" in a cumulative update to restore Windows 10 to its original virgin purity?
The bottom line
(For the record, I'm not a Microsoft basher. I have Windows 7 on both my laptop and my desktop. I upgraded both computers to Windows 10, and I reverted both in less than an hour, My negative reaction to that OS is based on personal experience.)
At some point, when the thrill of "Wow -- it's free!" wears off, and frustration settles in, people are gonna finally realize that Microsoft is not a philanthropic foundation.
Windows 10 is a bare-bones OS. Microsoft is pushing Windows 10, because they intend to make money in the future by charging for add-ons that were included in Windows 7 and 8.X.
On the other hand, Windows 10 includes -- also free of charge -- "features" missing from your old OS, such as
NSA-class privacy intrusions
In short, beware of geeks bearing gifts.
Re: the allegedly faster shutdown of Windows 10, it is largely an illusion.
When you shut down Windows 7, the video remains active until just a second or two before the computer turns off.
In contrast (pun fully intended) when you shut down Windows 10, the screen immediately goes black, and you wait while the computer goes through its shutdown operations and then turns off.
Add to that, a newly-installed OS will always shut down faster.
The actual difference in shutdown time is insignificant. Very clever programming – it's all smoke and mirrors, folks.
Re: Check again in September
Who doesn't, if even only occasionally, play Solitaire?
So how are the happy upgraders going to react when they discover that they have to visit the Windows Store and download and install it? And how happy are they likely to be, when they discover that “free” means “ad-supported?” Finally, how happy are they likely to be, when they discover that, to get rid of the ads, they have to subscribe to the ad-free version, at a cost of $1.95 per month or $9.95 per year?
Then there is the add-on DVD player, free for now, and $14.95 later, and even if the PC has a Blue Ray drive, the DVD player will only play standard DVDs.
At some point, the happy upgraders are going to feel cheated by their “free upgrade.” Welcome to Windows as a Service. (Service is what bulls do to cows.)
Windows 7, a solid OS, with support until January 14, 2020, will be calling them home.
Re: Clarifications requested
A bloke with a degree in linguistics, unable to find employment in his chosen field, instead sought to become a porn star.
He was a very cunning linguist.
Gettin' me coat...
@ Paul 87
Does the "average" PC user have a clue about privacy? They endlessly blab intimate details of their lives on Facebook and Twitter and upload stupid videos of themselves to YouTube.
They will LOVE Cortana and the "convenience" afforded by the Microsoft account. They don't comprehend that the same technology that gives them access to everything from one location also grants Microsoft the same access. Don't even try to tell them that it should be named "Windows 1984."
On a completely different note, after reading how to rollback, I did test upgrades on two computers. The old laptop has X1250 graphics, and the desktop has HD 5450. In each case, the Win10 Pro upgrade only loaded the default VGA driver, giving me only two choices -- 1024x768 and 800x600. Epic fail!
Hell, I'm 71 years of age. Windows 7 support might outlive me!
A matter of urgency
You're all missing the real issue here. The insensitive bullies of the IAU have victimized Pluto. Pluto is suffering a blow to its self-esteem.
Pluto's downgrade from its classification as a planet was more than a grave injustice; the designation of “dwarf planet” is not PC.
This abomination must be addressed forthwith!
Therefore, in all humility, I submit for your consideration “circumferentially-challenged,” or if you prefer, “vulumetrically-disadvantaged.”
Thank you for your kind attention.
"Also, while I'm on a pedant rant, the "y" in hyper in Greek is not pronounced like a long English dipthong. It's more like the French u."
I thought that it might be silent -- like the "p" in swimming.
Showing my age
Eukaryon Researcher: The working title of the first release in the proposed revival of British madcap cinema
(If you don't get it, then up your Khyber Pass!)
"Hate to be a wet blanket..."
Knowing that good ol' el reg would never run an article completely bereft of an IT angle, I entered
into a search engine, and I encountered several computer service businesses with "Armadillo"in their name.
I also discovered a review for a physics-based PC game "Armadillo Run."
After you have laundered your blanket, then get help for your bed-wetting problem.
My laptop does that all the time. It's Linux Mint and it's called a "feature" :D
My laptop does that all the time. It's EasyBCD, and it allows me to dual-boot between Windows 7 and Linux Mint. It's from NeoSmart Technologies, and it's free for private, non-commercial use.
Full disclosure: I am in no way affiliated with NeoSmart Technologies. I'm plugging EasyBCD only because it's a terrific product. It saved my butt, when Linux Mint discontinued Mint4Win.
It's called freedom, folks
A Muslim owns a print shop. Someone wants him to print posters of cartoons which disparage the Prophet. Shouldn't he have the right to refuse to do so?
A lesbian produces custom T-shirts. She regards anti-gay bigotry as immoral. Someone wants her to imprint a T-shirt, “Gay Marriage Is an Abomination.” Shouldn't she have the right to refuse to do so?
Someone has a home business, transcoding VHS tapes to DVDs. He has a religious objection to pornography. Someone comes in with a box of porn VHS tapes for him to make into DVDs. Shouldn't he have the right to refuse to do so?
This is one of those...
..."Did he see the same movie that I did?" moments. And one of his criticisms was the accent of the evil loquatious feline?
Although the main character is a total whack job, he is not a deliberate serial murderer. Rather, circumstances force him to kill, to keep his insanity from being discovered.
After the first killing and dismemberment, he places the head on a table and feeds it. Then he sticks it into his refrigerator, and -- you guessed it -- he has coversations with it. The heads of the next two victims also end up in the refrigerator, also talking. It's a hoot!
Where the reviewer went wrong was in regarding "The Voices" as a horror-comedy. It's not; instead, it's a farce, and a very well, er, executed one.
Is your arseword Dr00p3?
AOL tried this years ago...
...and they blocked everyone from Middlesex, New Jersey. It's not that filters don't work; rather, it's that they work too well. Porn-again politicians don't comprehend the concept of unintended consequences.
If current regulations aren't adequately hard on staff, instead of implementing filters, perhaps they should just post a sign:
Masturbation at your workstation might result in your discharge.
War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength,
Snooping is privacy.
Not to be outdone by Samsung, LG is up to the same trick:
LG Will Take The 'Smart' Out Of Your Smart TV If You Don't Agree To Share Your Viewing And Search Data With Third Parties
Here's something that no one seems to have picked up on: back in the 80s, the puny 8-bit computers of the day could convert speech to text. Thirty years later, why doesn't a "SMART TV" have the built-in "intelligence" to handle voice commands?
Re: I still shudder...
"...Can I just keep "7" forever?"
You -- we -- can keep it until spring 2020, when support ends. By then, the current version of Windows will be 12 or 13.
Barring the release of some just-gotta-have-it-program-or-hardware-that-requires-Windows-10, I can't imagine "upgrading" from Windows 7.
Regarding the headline...
Repent, and synth no more!
It occurred to me...
...that the trasparent phone would be the perfect accessory to enhance a mesh T-shirt or a see-through blouse.
Unless you're an old fart...
...you won't get this:
I predict that the next humor meme will be "Nork-Nork" jokes.
Re: They need to get a sense of proportion
Isn't "heaven's sake" Japanese?
"Cream of sum yung guy...:
Isn't that the favorite item on the menu in Chinese restaurants in San Francisco?
Chill, man, chill.
Don't let stringyfloppy get your goat!
Re: It used to be the case...
"They look at skin color, asses albedo, then shoot."
Oh, no -- don't shoot Nikki Minaj!
Perhaps you meant "...assess albedo..."
Re: In free fall, no one can hear you scream, "Which way is up?".
"This leaves only one option: an iAirbag (presumably NOT Bulgarian)."
Aren't fanbois iAirbags?
Am I the only one here who uses MS Security Essentials and Malwarebytes?
Re: @ Stern Fenster -- OK so let me get this straight.
If they were able to count to twenty, would you then congratulate them on their tremendous feet?
(So many puns, so little time...)
Re: " trojanise " !
Do you "butter" your bread? Do you "rake" your lawn? Does your mechanic "lube" your car?
The facility of "verbizing/verbising" a noun is one of the strengths of the English language. Even though I just now invented a word, everyone with at least two functioning neurons grasped my meaning.
Of course, being a foreigner -- I was born in and live in the US -- explains why my "ability with English is limited."
Well, it could be true
Is "MOULDY DICK" an STD?
Giving you the Dickens
Some years ago, a freshly-deceased whale appeared in the Thames. Not wanting that whale meat to go to waste, London's butchers turned it into sausages.
"It was the beast of Thames, it was the wurst of Thames."
(So many puns, so little time...)
I don't know...
...if the looming extinction of salamanders would be a good thing or a bad thing.
I guess that I'm just newtral.
Re: Does it follow
Do you remember the old Michael Caine thrillers, in which the name of the character that he played was "Harry Palmer?"