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* Posts by Martin Maloney

156 posts • joined Saturday 28th July 2007 11:52 GMT

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Martin Maloney
Happy

"...I prefer to think of them getting EVERYTHING right except one thing - the economics."

Yeah, like the January 8, 1991 bankruptcy of Pan Am.

I saw 2001 in a theater when it was in first run. I remember two points when the audience laughed:

1, The in-your-face commercial placement of Pan Am, and

2. The instructions for the use of the zero gravity toilet.

Martin Maloney
Facepalm

Fixed it for you

Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL. Do you read me, HAL?

HAL: Affirmative, Dave. I read you.

Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Dave Bowman: sudo open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL: [sudo] password for Dave Bowman:

Dave Bowman: (password not displayed)

HAL: Ok.

Martin Maloney
Go

Isn't this a geek site?

Then why hasn't anyone posted about this?

http://www.hiddencameraglasses.com/?gs-glasses-camera%20sunglasses&gclid=CIXO_Pr9vrYCFeZxQgod5HIAHA

They are cheap -- about $35-75, depending on the capacity of the microSD card.

Yes, the temple pieces are large. However, mid-ear-length hair will cover them.

The best part is that they are not tied to the evil empire known as google.

Martin Maloney
Coat

Re: IRIS drivers

Lens be careful. Some folks might take a dim view of cataract jokes.

Martin Maloney
Coat

Re: IRIS

Oh, no! Are the jokes around here getting, erm, cornea?

Martin Maloney
Boffin

The fix

One of the great features of Microsoft Security Essentials is that, when It encounters a file that it considers dodgy, it doesn't take a default action. Rather, it lets the user decide what to do with it.

Malwarebytes, however, by default, quarantines files that it doesn't like.

Open Malwarebytes and click on the Protection tab.You will see:

Automatically quarantine flesystem threats detected by the protection module

Uncheck the box to the left of that.

(BTW, the icon choice is a joke.)

Martin Maloney
WTF?

"It also only works on 32-bit Windows 7 installations..."

Didn't 64-bit Windows 7 Home Premium become the standard OS installation for both desktops and laptops, when 4 GB of RAM became the entry-level?

In fact, my circa 2008 Compaq laptop, with only 3 GB of RAM, came with 64-bit Vista.

Martin Maloney

@ MyBackDoor

Official city motto:

Welcome to Los Angeles

Where we treat you like a King!

Martin Maloney
Boffin

Who cares?

Why would home users and small offices want to abandon WinXP? They're running Office 2000, Photoshop 7, AutoCAD 2002 and other application software of similar vintage, and they are satisfied with their productivity under WinXP and on their current hardware. Upgrading would entail expense and a learning curve.

The main danger from the cut-off of support for WinXP is that Internet Explorer won't continue to have its security holes patched. The solution is to switch to Firefox or to Chrome, which will continue to be upgraded. (Anyone with a brain already switched long ago!)

Likewise, anti-virus/anti-malware programs will continue to be updated.

Treat the end of WinXP support as the non-event that it is.

Martin Maloney
Boffin

Quiz

1. Burn petroleum, to boil water, to produce steam, to turn a turbine, attached to a generator, to feed the electric grid, which loses 25% due to resistance, to charge batteries in an electric car.

2. Burn petroleum in a car engine.

Which is more efficient?

In cold weather:

1. Pump warm air from a petrol engine's cooling system to heat the car's interior.

2. Pump warm air from a battery-powered electric heater to heat the car's interior.

Which is more efficient?

Martin Maloney
Linux

The end of XP?

Does anyone really believe that the average home user of XP will care about the end of XP support in April next year?

Will they even notice? After all, the end of XP support doesn't mean that XP will self destruct, Mr. Phelps.

Those fanbois who are dreaming that the end of XP support will start a stampede to Linux are just that -- dreaming.

(BTW, I'm not knocking Linux. I switched to Linux Mint four years ago. I just don't fantasize that "the year of the Linux desktop" will ever arrive.)

Martin Maloney
FAIL

Am I out of touch? [guffaw]

"If Microsoft can switch Windows to a similar release model, the whole concept of a Windows 8, followed by a Windows 9 and an eventual Windows 10, could disappear. Instead, the product would simply be Windows, with Blue being just the first of many major upgrades."

If I'm reading this right, it means that people who decided to pass on Windows 8, hoping that Microsoft would come to their senses and ditch not-Metro, when they released Windows 9, are out of luck.

It sounds like "Windows 8 Forever!"

Martin Maloney
Trollface

Correction

"...under last October's reinterpretation (sic) of the US Digital Millennium Copyright Act..."

"...under last October's misinterpretation of the US Digital Millennium Copyright Act..."

There -- fixed it for you.

Martin Maloney
Facepalm

Re: You folks don't get it

"'Collecting them' isnt (sic) illegal. Only distributing them."

The only way to collect them is to download them, and downloading them is illegal.

Sheesh!

Martin Maloney
Pirate

You folks don't get it

The fact that the viewing quality of camera-captured movies stinks doesn't matter.

On the providing end, it is a matter of bragging rights -- make that "bragging rites." There is competition among the various pirate groups for first release. Then there is further competition about (what passes for) quality.

On the consuming end, it is a game, comparing, by skimming through, the (lack of) quality of subsequent releases by subsequent pirate groups of the same movie. It's a hobby, mostly for tweeners and teens, collecting pirated movie releases, like other people collect stamps or commemorative plates. The fact that they're breaking the law adds to the mystique.

Only the most brain-dead freetard would actually watch such bilge rather then paying money to see the film at a theater.

Prosecuting the pirates is the same old scam as always. It's based on the myth that piracy costs the studios money in lost ticket sales.

Martin Maloney
Coat

Although they were all hilarious...

...the prize in medicine nearly made me, er, bust a gut!

Martin Maloney
Coat

Is it April 1 already?

el reg editor's to-do list:

1) Firmly grasp readers' collective leg

2) Pull really really really hard

Martin Maloney
Coat

Why do I always have to be the one?

Q: What do you say to someone who is trying to steal your Raspberry Pi cluster?

A: Lego!

Martin Maloney
Coat

[BOO-HISS]

"Let's go write our names in the snow"

Urine trouble for suggesting that.

Martin Maloney
Coat

I just can't help it, folks

Until Dawn went roamin', Vesta was a virgin.

Martin Maloney
Coat

Why did anyone believe this hoax?

There was something obviously, erm, screwy about it.

(Well, somebody had to say it!)

Martin Maloney
Coat

The reason for God's Judgment on Assyria

An idol's hands are the Devil's workshop.

Martin Maloney
Coat

Be honest, guys

When you read this story, didn't you at least crack a smile?

Martin Maloney
Trollface

Windows 8 is so bad...

...that people won't even bother to pirate it!

Martin Maloney
Coat

Biblical justice

Yes, folks -- an eye for an eye.

Martin Maloney
Go

What about PowerDesk?

OK, it's not free, although it is, right now, on a promotion:

http://www.mydigitallife.info/avanquest-powerdesk-pro-7-free-download-with-registration-license-code/

You can get either version 7 or 8 -- or both. They will email you a license.

It's a file manager, a file finder, an archiver and even an FTP program.

I've used it since version 2.x on Win 3.1, and I consider it essential.

Posted in Jolly rogered
Martin Maloney
Coat

Politically-incorrect dictionary entry

pedophile -- a hard drive record of your daily walking outings

Sorry, Brtis -- that's the US spelling.

Martin Maloney
Coat

Even more frightening

Imagine how dangerous a Lenovo blade server could be!

(Why do I always have to be the one?)

Martin Maloney
Coat

Re: My name is Fuch, and I'm from Wandel & Goltermann Inc

That's just too Fuching Much!

Martin Maloney
Coat

Re: No way could a T-Rex fly a spaceship.

And thus their spaceships would become (I should be ashamed) Tyrannosaurus wrecks?

Martin Maloney
Coat

Yeah, I'm doin' it again

That's what the IT department gets for hiring a Whiz Kid!

Martin Maloney
Coat

Well, somebody had to post this

"The Register is making inquiries to learn if the Playa can cope with common condom sizes, namely Huge, Gigantic, Colossal and Enormous. ®"

con-do-min-i-um [kon-duh-min-ee-uhm]

noun

the smallest size

Martin Maloney
Happy

Re: Seems he was inspired.....

You missed "cunt."

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cunt?s=t

Martin Maloney
Big Brother

Giving the electric company remote control

Dumb meter: You don't pay your bill, and the electric company sends someone out to disconnect your power.

Smart meter: Someone else doesn't pay his bill, and someone at the electric company hits a wrong key on a keyboard, and your power is turned off.

Dumb meter: The electric company monitors and records your total electric use during each billing period.

Smart meter: The electric company monitors and records your electric usage continuously.

If you still don't get it, then watch "Brazil" and read/watch "1984."

Martin Maloney
Flame

Wrong, Anonymous Coward!

You and the article's author both got it wrong.

All that you have to do is visit linuxmint.com's download section, and you'll discover that you can download it as either a DVD or a CD. The page explicitly states that the CD version doesn't include the restricted multimedia components.

And yes, I get pissed, when people are too lazy to do their own research and spout off misinformation.

This post has been deleted by its author

Martin Maloney
Coat

Why do I always have to be the one?

(Overheard office pissing contest)

"Oh, yeah, that's nothin'. My cuff links to..."

Martin Maloney
Coat

OK, OK, so it's an old one

Stu and Artie are loitering outside their local A&P. To break the boredom, Stu challenges his friend -- "I'll give you a dollar to choke the next three blokes who come by."

Artie puts the first guy into a choke hold, snaps his windpipe, and the guy falls to the ground, dead. The same with the next two.

An outraged citizen calls the cops, who arrest the assailant.

The headline in the next morning's paper read, "Artie chokes three for a dollar at A&P."

Martin Maloney
Trollface

I hate to break it to you folks...

...however, the readership stats have nothing to do with the quality of the articles on El Reg.

Rather, it is the increasing level of sophistication of the puns in the comments that is attracting your audience.

If you don't understand what I'm talking about, then get thee to a punnery!

Martin Maloney
Coat

If you use a credit/debit card...

...does that make it a cashless Clay boxing match?

Martin Maloney
Coat

Wow -- 64 comments thus far!

Postings about P2P file sharing always come in torrents, don't they?

Martin Maloney
Devil

A different perspective

I see it as coming from the Puritan work ethic standpoint. That is, it's immoral to get anything for free.

Whether it's P2P ifle sharing or copying computer program disks or movie DVDs or using a box to decrypt cable TV or satellite TV, it's all the same: We should have to pay for anything that we get.

It's not about lost revenue -- it's about morality. That's why rational arguments on either side of the so-called piracy issue never go anywhere -- they are irrelevant.

What the opponents of so-called piracy are really saying is that it is a sin, and that so-called pirates are sinners.

Martin Maloney
Coat

Yes, I should be ashamed

Miss Piggy's phone rings, and she picks it up.

"[cough cough cough] I'm sorry -- I had a frog in my throat."

Martin Maloney
Coat

When the cops confronted the thief...

...did they order, "Blow it out your ass?"

This reminded me of the old one about the nurse who shoved a thermometer up between her legs and rectum.

Martin Maloney
Coat

Sensible advice

When evaluating something like that "don't fry your balls with your mobe" poster, check to see if the information is sourced. If it's not, then it is probably bogus.

By applying this simple standard, one should always be able to telephony.

Martin Maloney
Coat

This one is even worse

boffin [bof-in]

noun

1. one who bofs.

boff [bof]

verb

1. to cause to be overcome with laughter.

Martin Maloney
Coat

My puns are the pits

vi-per [vahy-per]

noun

1. one who vipes.

Martin Maloney
Facepalm

Get it right

It's hydrogen hydroxide -- HOH -- not di-hydrogen monoxide -- H2O, although the YouTube video to which you alluded was funny.

Martin Maloney
Devil

Why has everyone else missed this?

Every new technology is immediately glommed onto by the military/security state.

Forget for a moment using it as a platform for launching rockets. Rather, think in terms of using fleets of these units instead of orbiting surveillance satellites over a nation's own territory and also over the open seas. (Perish the thought that one country would violate another country's air space, right?)

Cameras, radio receivers and other sensors at 100,000 feet would be far smaller and lighter in weight than equivalent devices on a geostationary satellite at ~23,000 miles. They could be launched on a just-in-time basis. Without the need for a ground-launched rocket and a launch facility, they would be dirt cheap, too.

The total surveillance world is about to gain a "neat" new enabling toy.

("The spawn of satan" icon is appropriate, right?")

Martin Maloney
Alert

None dare call it fascism

That's the section of the story that clicked for me, too.

The legal way would be for a law enforcement agency to go to a court for a warrant. Apple employees/agents would then be deputized to accompany law enforcement, for the purpose of identifying the contraband for law enforcement to seize.

This isn't an isolated incident. Apple has done this at least once before. Moreover, employees/agents of a certain GMO firm are trespassing on and seizing crops from private farms, without following legal requirements.

Corporations are behaving as law enforcement agencies. The USA has become a corporatocracy.

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